Infatuation! Wjhat's it like for you?

[+ FreshFluff]

As those of you who read my earlier thread know, I'm pretty infatuated with someone now. The roller coaster of emotions over nothing can be difficult, but since infatuation is relatively rare for me, I'm enjoying it. I'm fascinated by infatuation, and I wanted to hear how it is for others. I'll share more later on.

 

If you've been infatuated, please share the story. What do you think made you become infatuated with the person? What was it like, and did you enjoy the feeling or hate it?

 

 

 

Edit: Deej or Cooper, if you get a chance, please take off the "j" in "wjhat" if or when you get a chance.

[Guest]

Yes, I was quite infatuated once. More than three decades ago, I was freshman at Northwestern University, and a sophomore living on another floor of the same dorm had me absolutely smitten. I befriended someone who lived near him, and used to like to hear him play the guitar in his dorm room. I heard he made a record once, and tried to find it for years, but never did. I thought about him almost every night. I once heard some women commenting about him in the dorm "He's so cute, but he's such a fag!". One day I summed up my courage, and told him how I felt (in private, in his single dorm room). I don't even quite recall what he said. It certainly wasn't "Well, I'm not gay," or anything harsh, but something more along the lines of "I don't think I can be what you want." I've never felt the same about anyone else ever again, although there certainly have been men I've fallen head over heels for. Now that you brought up this subject of infatuation, I looked him up on-line, and it looks as if he's made an extraordinary success of his life. It looks as if he's married, too, although I'm fairly positive he's gay. I wonder if he remembers that time I came up to him. This is the man today:

 

http://partnersasia.org/john-p-hussman-foundation-myanmar-burma/

 

http://www.praxis-fund.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/JohnHussmanHeadShot.jpg

[+ FreshFluff]

He's hot AND highly accomplished. Nice one!

 

BTW, I hadn't defined infatuation, but it can be a crush, a relationship, or anything in between.

[JT Brooklyn]

The Best part of an Infatuation understanding it will pass!

[+ FreshFluff]

The Best part of an Infatuation understanding it will pass!

 

That and it makes self-pleasuring much easier. :o

[bigvalboy]

It took me awhile to post on this thread, unresolved memories still linger. I became infatuated with a guy once. Well probably obsessed. Fell in love, moved him in, and started taking care of him financially. In my heart I knew that it was one sided, but I loved him so much that I kept thinking that he's got to love me back. He didn't of course. You can't make someone fall in love with you, but I tried. That was 25 years ago, and I have never gotten over the way he dismissed me at the end. It was the last time that I ever allowed myself to be hurt.

 

Hiring protects me to a degree, I am able to say intellectually that I know this person will leave, and then emotionally less is for sale. I can walk out knowing that they have promised nothing more than an hour of pleasure. I choose my escorts more carefully now. I am looking for something beyond just the hourly pleasure, and while I haven't found it yet, I have been with some incredible men, who made me feel like I mattered. Escorts are just salesmen, selling a fantasy. It is all just a sales job, but as long as they make me feel like I matter, in the end I think that is all any of us really want, we just want to matter to someone....... "Looking for love in all the wrong places"

[+ FreshFluff]

Bigvalboy, I'm glad that you're protecting your heart by hiring men who give you what you need.

 

The infatuation I'm currently experiencing right now is apparently mutual. He confessed that he thinks about me all the time, and he's already told a number of his friends about me. He asked me for exclusivity, and after some thought, I accepted. (There's some opportunity cost, since I had several other desirable-to-me guys on deck, but I really like him.) He's also protective of me without being controlling. There's more, but I'll leave it there..

 

And I'm totally hot for him. Every time I talk to him, think about him, or see his photo, I get, er, excited. Just writing about it makes me feel it.

 

So it's the typical infatuation at the beginning of a relationship. As always, navigating the sex thing may be challenge, though he's told me he's willing to go sloooowly (for which I give him a lot of credit). Soon we will get to the to the touching part, and we'll see where it goes from there.

[bigvalboy]

Bigvalboy, I'm glad that you're protecting your heart by hiring men who give you what you need.

 

The infatuation I'm currently experiencing right now is apparently mutual. He confessed that he thinks about me all the time, and he's already told a number of his friends about me. He asked me for exclusivity, and after some thought, I accepted. (There's some opportunity cost, since I had several other desirable-to-me guys on deck, but I really like him.) He's also protective of me without being controlling. There's more, but I'll leave it there..

 

And I'm totally hot for him. Every time I talk to him, think about him, or see his photo, I get, er, excited. Just writing about it makes me feel it.

 

So it's the typical infatuation at the beginning of a relationship. As always, navigating the sex thing may be challenge, though he's told me he's willing to go sloooowly (for which I give him a lot of credit). Soon we will get to the to the touching part, and we'll see where it goes from there.

 

If there is one thing that I have learned, it would be not to over think new relationships, just let them unfold naturally. Trying to second guess someone that you don't really know can often lead to misunderstandings. Enjoy the moment, and just take everything one step at a time...

 

I hope it all works out, and let us know how things are going in the future.

[+ FreshFluff]

If there is one thing that I have learned, it would be not to over think new relationships, just let them unfold naturally. Trying to second guess someone that you don't really know can often lead to misunderstandings. Enjoy the moment, and just take everything one step at a time...

 

I hope it all works out, and let us know how things are going in the future.

 

BVB, you are certainly right, and my mom says the same thing.

 

This is why I will have sex only after I get clear signals. For me, the classic example is introductions to important people in the guy's life.

 

In general, I've found that Billy Joel is almost right: "When you love someone, you're always insecure." I'd substitute "infatuated with" for "love" though.

[Guest]

He's hot AND highly accomplished. Nice one!

 

The Best part of an Infatuation: understanding it will pass!

 

I can't say that I ever got over my infatuation with John Peter Hussman. Nor would I want it to. If you think he's hot now, imagine how I felt in college! I definitely feel what I missed out. I suppose I'll always wonder if it was his fear of the consequences of his gay identity which led me to miss out. One also wonders if he could have been as successful as an openly gay man? It would be nice to be able to talk to him just one more time...

[+ FreshFluff]

The Best part of an Infatuation: understanding it will pass!

 

I can't say that I ever got over my infatuation with John Peter Hussman. Nor would I want it to. If you think he's hot now, imagine how I felt in college! I definitely feel what I missed out. I suppose I'll always wonder if it was his fear of the consequences of his gay identity which led me to miss out. One also wonders if he could have been as successful as an openly gay man? It would be nice to be able to talk to him just one more time...

 

I like older men, so I'd probably find him less attractive if he were younger!

 

As for whether he'd be successful if he were gay, I'd say he would be in this industry. Academia and economics in general are pretty meritocratic, so they're more accepting of GLBT people than other fields. (Transgender people still have a tough time at some universities though.)

[trilingual]

Infatuation has hit me a few times over the years! It's not pretty -- usually I'm pretty articulate and socially accomplished but when that rush of hormones takes over I just turn into a babbling, tongue-tied, drooling fool! As a result I got virtually nowhere at all with the object of my infatuation and I had to let it run its course, but it was often pretty painful when I had to accept that nothing was going to come of it! I'm pretty glad that I'm past that, for the most part. Those hormones do settle down as you get older, although not 100%! There is still the occasional twinge, but nothing like when I was younger!

[bcohen7719]

It took me awhile to post on this thread, unresolved memories still linger. I became infatuated with a guy once. Well probably obsessed. Fell in love, moved him in, and started taking care of him financially. In my heart I knew that it was one sided, but I loved him so much that I kept thinking that he's got to love me back. He didn't of course. You can't make someone fall in love with you, but I tried. That was 25 years ago, and I have never gotten over the way he dismissed me at the end. It was the last time that I ever allowed myself to be hurt.

 

Hiring protects me to a degree, I am able to say intellectually that I know this person will leave, and then emotionally less is for sale. I can walk out knowing that they have promised nothing more than an hour of pleasure. I choose my escorts more carefully now. I am looking for something beyond just the hourly pleasure, and while I haven't found it yet, I have been with some incredible men, who made me feel like I mattered. Escorts are just salesmen, selling a fantasy. It is all just a sales job, but as long as they make me feel like I matter, in the end I think that is all any of us really want, we just want to matter to someone....... "Looking for love in all the wrong places"

 

BVB,

 

Sorry to hear about this sad story; brave of you to share it. May I ask if there was a big

difference between your ages?

 

BC

[bigvalboy]

BVB,

 

Sorry to hear about this sad story; brave of you to share it. May I ask if there was a big

difference between your ages?BC

 

Yes about 10 years...it is the way that he used me only for his financial gain. Well I was a big boy, and I certainly should have known better.

[+ FreshFluff]

Yes about 10 years...it is the way that he used me only for his financial gain. Well I was a big boy, and I certainly should have known better.

 

BVB, I'm really sorry to hear about that. I can tell you're a good man, and it must hurt when a guy takes advantage of your nature. You may be over it by now, but it must have taken you a long time to trust anyone after that. I'd give you a hug if you were here.

[bigvalboy]

BVB, I'm really sorry to hear about that. I can tell you're a good man, and it must hurt when a guy takes advantage of your nature. You may be over it by now, but it must have taken you a long time to trust anyone after that. I'd give you a hug if you were here.

 

Thank you FF....you just made this ol cowboy look outside and see things just a little bit brighter today.

[+ purplekow]

I have had a few infatuations, usually while on vacation someone would catch my eye, especially if I were at a resort. I went to Club Med frequently when I was in my twenties and early thirties, about 16 of them, and I always enjoyed myself there. Sex was usually part of the vacation but not usually with the one person that made my palms sweat or my heart race. Fortunately, I was so shy around these people that I never had the means of following up with them after I left the resort.

As for infatuation in my life apart from there, I modestly say that I was often the object of infatuation when I was in those same 28-35 year old years. When one does not have a strong attraction to the one longing for them, being the object of the infatuation is more troubling than being the one infatuated I believe. I once had someone send me anonymous occasion cards with appropriate post marks from around the USA. Philadelphia on July 4; Salem Mass at Halloween; Detroit on Labor Day; Plymouth on Thanksgiving and ultimately one from Ho Ho kus New Jersey on Christmas. New Year's Day Card from NYC was signed. I was fairly sure who was sending the cards and my time around this person was always awkward as a result.

[unsub2O17]

I fell "in lust" for a high school friend. He knew but never reciprocated. I"dined out" on fantasies of having sex with him for a good 40 years! Somehow, he never aged. Then, I ran across his profile (yes, I WAS looking for it) on Facebook. What a shock! We had nothing in common, and he was (surprise!) old and out of shape. Wish I'd been slapped by reality a lot sooner.

 

On the other side, my best friend in high school pursued me for a good three years. I just felt nothing but friendship for him. It was awkward. I kept pretending that I didn't understand the signals. Finally, he gave up in disgust. I haven't been able to find out what happened to him in all these years.

[nate_sf]

I had an odd experience this past weekend that made me think of this thread. I'd been invited to an afternoon cocktail party hosted by a woman friend of mine in town visiting. As friends we have a long history going back to high school though I can't say we're especially close. I went to the party more out of obligation than anything since we only see each other every few years. She held the party at her parents' house and I had no idea who would be attending.

 

Not surprisingly I didn't know any of the other guests. I'd transferred high schools midway through so didn't get to know too many people at the new school, and I didn't recognize any of these people. Some were older and had graduated before I had arrived. Everybody was nice enough. All male/female couples, and then me. One of the guys there was very humorous and rather good looking but I did not recognize him from high school, but that was more than twenty years ago. I stayed at the party long enough to be polite, then made my excuses and departed.

 

It was not until I was driving home that all of a sudden I realized who the guy at the party was. He was a guy who I had been truly infatuated with back in high school. In the years since I'd totally forgotten about the infatuation, but now it all came back. Holy shit, that was him! He had been a year older than me in high school and I'd never talked to him (had no reason since we didn't have any classes together) but I'd see him around school and had had the biggest crush. Back in school he'd been cute, a sharp dresser, and had a sexy deep voice. I was both envious (I wanted to be cool and handsome like him) and also totally attracted to him. I'd even seen him naked once in the showers after PE, which was unusual since NOBODY ever took showers (being too modest), but for some reason this guy had the gusto to do it. So all the ingredients were there for a total, complete teenage infatuation. He graduated and over time I forgot all about him... until after the cocktail party.

 

It's funny to revisit an infatuation years after the fact. I suppose it's good I did not recall who he was at the party, as I would have probably fallen out of my chair or become tongue-tied. Maybe I would have stayed longer. I did send him a LinkedIn invite (which he accepted) and realize we have absolutely nothing in common. But it was amusing to go down memory lane and feel those butterflies again!