Is this a flake?....

[+ Italiano]

About 2 1/2 years ago a known escort who posts in this Forum canceled on me the same morning he was supposed to come to my place in Sarasota FL where I was working. He never bothered to call me or reply to my text and voice message I sent that same morning wondering, but sent me an email few hours later saying that he had another potential client closer to his place (he would have had to travel 30 miles to come to me) and not being sure how to get to my place (?..) he preferred to go to him.

 

Of course I was a bit pissed and I made it clear in this Forum, he first got angry at me publicly, and then (I guess he realized he didn't do a smart move...) he offered me publicly and privately to honor me with a complimentary visit at our best convenience.

I found the gesture very nice, and we tried to arrange it in these 2+ years when I flew to Florida a few times for work, but we were not able to make it happening for one reason or another, both ways.

 

Eventually very recently I spent few weeks in Sarasota FL again for work, I let him know that, and he told me during that time he was going to stay in StPete for a week and that as soon as he would have had traveled to one of his clients in Sarasota he would have let me know and combine the two things.

Even if of course I would have paid his gas, I couldn't pretend that he would travel 30 miles just for me, so that was absolutely fine for me.

So we arranged for one day after he was going to end his 1 o'clock appointment with his client in Sarasota. I was actually still thinking "wow, what a gentleman!" while getting prepped and showered, and waiting for him to show at my place at around 2:30ish pm, of course I gave him the freedom of not being so strict with the time. He actually tested me that same morning a few times to confirm, asking for address (I guess he bought a GPS...) etc etc.

At about 2:15 pm he sent me a text saying that his client had changed the 1 hour appointment to an overnight and that he had to reschedule.... Not a hint of "I am sorry" or any kind of apology, just a matter of fact. I didn't even reply, in a way of course I understood that between a freebie and a paid overnight he made his clear choice, but still, I was taken by the double cancellation and also by his total lack of apologetic form.

I waited until the end of his week in StPete to see if he would call me/text me/email me offering to reschedule, but not really a big surprise when he didn't do it at all. Not even a "hey, not anymore clients in Sarasota, but I can come if you pay the gas", which of course would have been logical.

 

I sent him an email explaining exactly how I felt (in the way I explained it here) and that to me he wasn't a reliable person and/or escort. He replied a bit offended that I dared to doubt all his positive reviews and that he actually was expecting me to reschedule (really?...), and offered me to drive to his home (80 miles away) that same day to realize that he wasn't a flake.

I replied saying that I had not doubted all his reviews, but in MY book, and after a second cancellation he definitely was not a reliable person. I also told him that I would have never driven 80 miles to his place with the chance to find a post-it at his door saying "I had to go to a client. Let's reschedule".

He never replied, which was absolutely fine, what else could be said?...

 

Any thoughts?

[+ poolboy48220]

it reminds me of the Seinfeld bit about reservations. If you make an appointment you keep it, you don't ditch it if something else comes along.

[maninsoma]

His customer service skills are really lacking. No escort should schedule an appointment and then back out at the last minute unless there's a really good reason such as illness or an accident.

 

I am, however, surprised that he offered you a freebie after your public complaints. That seems like an overly generous way to compensate someone for a last-minute cancellation, so I'm not surprised that he didn't ultimately deliver on that promise. I wonder what possessed him to initially make such an offer and, after more than two years, still consider it an offer on the table. It would have made more sense for him to simply ignore your more recent message if he didn't want to follow through on that comp he offered more than two years ago, but instead he set up the same situation that angered you about him in the first place.

 

For the record, I've had escorts cancel on me at the last minute and offer me nothing in return except for an offer for me to schedule (at the regular rate) again in the future. Naturally I haven't taken up any of these guys on their offers since I don't like being disrespected. Fortunately, it hasn't happened very often. I've also had a few occasions where guys simply didn't show up or call to cancel, and I just let those ones go. Beyond a "no show" post/review, there's nothing else to be said.

[whipped guy]

The escort is not a flake. He is a jerk!!! I think that we have all had this happen to us on one level or another. I usually never again deal the individual when I have been dumped... and especially because they could book a more lucrative deal... and are not exactly subtle about the fact either. Good riddance I say!

 

And yes! How nice to offer you a freebie when he had absolutely no intention of following through with the offer...

 

Plus, I am sure the escort could sense that you are one of the good ones... and the good ones are often taken advantage of... unfortunately...

[wayout]

The escort is not a flake. He is a jerk!!! I think that we have all had this happen to us on one level or another. I usually never again deal the individual when I have been dumped... and especially because they could book a more lucrative deal... and are not exactly subtle about the fact either. Good riddance I say!

 

And yes! How nice to offer you a freebie when he had absolutely no intention of following through with the offer...

 

Plus, I am sure the escort could sense that you are one of the good ones... and the good ones are often taken advantage of... unfortunately...

 

+1 (except I would capitalize JERK as well as put it in bold JERK)

[JT Brooklyn]

Biz is Biz! Especially IF your not a Regular Client. Nothing is definite until the door slams!

 

Whether or not you were really going to get a "makeup" that's probably not going to happen..especially not mentioning his Name once again.

[rvwnsd]

Biz is Biz!...

 

Bad biz, in this case. If the escort did not want to travel to Sarasota he should have said so in the first place.

 

Especially IF your not a Regular Client...

 

He won't get many regular clients if he runs his "biz" this way.

[marylander1940]

you guys are really patient, too much patient.

 

When someone asks you to reschedule, then just do it...

 

You should denounce him, you drove to him and he wasn't there. This isn't the first time he flakes on clients, all potential clients must be warned about him.

[BaronArtz]

you guys are really patient, too much patient.

 

When someone asks you to reschedule, then just do it...

 

You should denounce him, you drove to him and he wasn't there. This isn't the first time he flakes on clients, all potential clients must be warned about him.

 

Totally agree with this point of view. Tell us who the bastard is!

[down_to_business]

If you read the other thread and this one -- apparently the only thing he did wrong was give you the honest reason for his cancellation/no-show. I have heard many excuses over the years and very few were actually true. I guess some are. It's up to you to decide if you want to believe it or give them a second (third, fourth etc.) chance. Personally I prefer the truth over some lie. Yes I might not like to hear that you aren't going to honor your commitments because you would rather go to the movies with your friends -- but it sure beats hearing that your mother died when she really passed away 20 years ago or that you are feeling so sick and then you are spotted dancing the night away at a club.

 

And to your original question, yes "flake" is applicable-- but honest flake

[instudiocity]

I sent him an email explaining exactly how I felt (in the way I explained it here) and that to me he wasn't a reliable person and/or escort. He replied a bit offended that I dared to doubt all his positive reviews and that he actually was expecting me to reschedule (really?...), and offered me to drive to his home (80 miles away) that same day to realize that he wasn't a flake.

I replied saying that I had not doubted all his reviews, but in MY book, and after a second cancellation he definitely was not a reliable person. I also told him that I would have never driven 80 miles to his place with the chance to find a post-it at his door saying "I had to go to a client. Let's reschedule".

He never replied, which was absolutely fine, what else could be said?...

I saw the last two paragraphs as a flat refusal to drive 80 miles to visit the excort and then the Post-It note reference as a hypothetical outcome of that drive.

 

You should denounce him, you drove to him and he wasn't there. This isn't the first time he flakes on clients, all potential clients must be warned about him.

Again, I don't see where xafnndapp drove anywhere.

 

The best answer to a transaction gone wrong in any customer service event is to offer the client something of value. Offering a free session is quite a value, especially considering travel time and costs. But shouldn't there be an EXPIRATION DATE on the freebie? Xafnndapp has been walking around with a freebie in his pocket from a guy he has never met, (who doesn't live in his area and is only available when xafnndapp is on assignment 80 miles away) for over 2-1/2 years. Hello?

 

I don't blame the escort for failing. He offered something he shouldn't have considering he's no where near Sarasota and now is in the situation where he has to travel to give a guy a freebie. The initial offer was probably made in good faith, but the failure of both parties to redeem the freebie in a timely manner is both their faults. Who would have known that this freebie would still be out there 2-1/2 years later? How do we know the chemistry between these two would still be there? How do we know for certain the excort hasn't left the business? How do we know he hasn't gone from Twink to Bear? Muscle Daddy to Fatty? How do we even know he looks like his pictures?

 

Yes the excort could be called a flake for both aborted appointments, but isn't it time to let the 2-1/2 year old freebie expire, too?

[+ Italiano]

LOL ok. Flake yes, but at least honest flake!

 

I need to clarify that no, I didn't drive to him as marylander1940 thought. I explained very well what happened in my long thread.

I was actually nicely surprised that he offered me a freebie, but no, definitely it didn't occur to me that he would not honor it!

I understand, biz is biz and putting on a scale a paid job and a freebie it's understandable what generally one would choose. But still I believe in some ethics, or AT LEAST he could have just apologized, or used the phrases "I am really sorry", "I will make this up to you asap", "I can come to you tomorrow, just pay the gas"...whatever!! Just giving for granted that "we have to reschedule because..." doesn't speak greatly of him to me. I read very good reviews of this escort usually, so it is probably something that happened only to me, that's my only reason why in this occasion I didn't mention his name. But in the previous occasion I actually posted something in a thread that he started a couple of years ago (complaining about some clients, if I remember correctly), so our postings were of public domain.

[BaronArtz]

LOL ok. Flake yes, but at least honest flake!

 

I need to clarify that no, I didn't drive to him as marylander1940 thought. I explained very well what happened in my long thread.

I was actually nicely surprised that he offered me a freebie, but no, definitely it didn't occur to me that he would not honor it!

I understand, biz is biz and putting on a scale a paid job and a freebie it's understandable what generally one would choose. But still I believe in some ethics, or AT LEAST he could have just apologized, or used the phrases "I am really sorry", "I will make this up to you asap", "I can come to you tomorrow, just pay the gas"...whatever!! Just giving for granted that "we have to reschedule because..." doesn't speak greatly of him to me. I read very good reviews of this escort usually, so it is probably something that happened only to me, that's my only reason why in this occasion I didn't mention his name. But in the previous occasion I actually posted something in a thread that he started a couple of years ago (complaining about some clients, if I remember correctly), so our postings were of public domain.

 

OK, I understand it better now. Well, if indeed it is in the public domain, would you mind pointing out in which thread(s) this was mentioned? That might save us all quite a bit of time to look it up Thank you.

[Frequentflier]

If an escort cancels close to the time of the appointment (like within a couple of hours) with a good excuse (illness, accident, etc) I think the client could decide to give him a pass on the cancellation and not bring it to the forum or post a no show review. But if an escort cancels within two hours for no good reason, including no reason, shouldn't that be a no show? I think a lot of escorts care about the posted reviews on this site and last minute cancellations without a good reason should have a consequence. Imagine you've booked a hotel room for the appointment and that money is wasted, or same for airfare. As for accepting a freebie, my opinion is if the client isn't out any money (hotel, airfare, etc), maybe the escort could offer a small discount. If the client is out money for a hotel, airfare, etc, how about deducting the lost money from the next visit but the visit is long enough so the escort gets some money. I think if there is some money in the meeting for the escort he's going to be incentivized to show up and while time spent with me is compensation enough (haha), I'd actually prefer paying an escort something versus a complete freebie. I'm only referring to freebies as outlined in this thread. A freebie from an escort someone sees on a regular basis is, I think, a different matter.

[instudiocity]

A freebie from an escort someone sees on a regular basis is, I think, a different matter.

Wouldn't that be more like a frequentflier Reward?

[Irtwo]

Well, if indeed it is in the public domain, would you mind pointing out in which thread(s) this was mentioned? That might save us all quite a bit of time to look it up Thank you.

 

lol! I tried to find it myself scouring old posts and gave up after a few minutes.

[+ Gar1eth]

' Originally Posted by BaronArtz

Well, if indeed it is in the public domain, would you mind pointing out in which thread(s) this was mentioned? That might save us all quite a bit of time to look it up Thank you.'

 

'lol! I tried to find it myself scouring old posts and gave up after a few minutes.'

 

Ok I'll admit it. I don't know how people post multiple previous quotes ( if someone would tell me how, I'd appreciate it). So I had to cut and paste. But as to the question- I searched back to 2010. I used the function that shows up on our profile page 'Threads Started' to try and find the original thread. Unless the thread had a strange title or he didnt start the thread, nothing about a missed appointment showed up.

 

Gman

[wayout]

Check out the thread titled "A moral and ethical dilema" started 12-30-2011. http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?84689-A-moral-and-ethical-dilema It is 5 pages but if you dig around in the posts you find some key posts about the original situation.

 

Going back further there is a thread started 1-31-2011 by Kjun that goes into more details. http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?78723-Mikey-in-New-Orleans That is as much as I have found.

[seeker630]

' Originally Posted by BaronArtz

Well, if indeed it is in the public domain, would you mind pointing out in which thread(s) this was mentioned? That might save us all quite a bit of time to look it up Thank you.'

 

'lol! I tried to find it myself scouring old posts and gave up after a few minutes.'

 

Ok I'll admit it. I don't know how people post multiple previous quotes ( if someone would tell me how, I'd appreciate it). So I had to cut and paste. But as to the question- I searched back to 2010. I used the function that shows up on our profile page 'Threads Started' to try and find the original thread. Unless the thread had a strange title or he didnt start the thread, nothing about a missed appointment showed up.

 

Gman

 

Gman - to quote muliple posts in the same thread...at the bottom of each post you want to include (in the same thread), click the Multi-quote icon in each post (it's the "+ icon to the right of 'Reply with quote'. Once you've tagged each post you want to include, go to the bottom of entire thread and click 'Repy to thread'. Your reply will include all your 'tagged' posts.

[+ Gar1eth]

Gman - to quote muliple posts in the same thread...at the bottom of each post you want to include (in the same thread), click the Multi-quote icon in each post (it's the "+ icon to the right of 'Reply with quote'. Once you've tagged each post you want to include, go to the bottom of entire thread and click 'Repy to thread'. Your reply will include all your 'tagged' posts.

 

Thanks, I thought the plus sign had something to do with it, but I wasn't sure how to use it. Usually when I was trying to post multiple quotes it was from post that had included a quote. I didn't know you had to go to the individual posts to quote them.

 

Gman

[+ Italiano]

Check out the thread titled "A moral and ethical dilema" started 12-30-2011. http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?84689-A-moral-and-ethical-dilema It is 5 pages but if you dig around in the posts you find some key posts about the original situation.

 

Going back further there is a thread started 1-31-2011 by Kjun that goes into more details. http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?78723-Mikey-in-New-Orleans That is as much as I have found.

 

 

GOOD JOB wayout!!

 

instudiocity I think you didn't read carefully my posting. If there was an "expiration date", that was never mentioned to me. The same morning of the "no show" I texted him to remind him about our deal, and he replied with "of course I remember". And again, read well: Never asked him to drive 80 miles to me for a freebie. The 80 miles were the distance that he wanted ME to drive after he canceled, in order to get the freebie. That's why my refusal because of the possible "post-it". And of course I told him to combine a visit to a potential client in Sarasota with my freebie, at HIS convenience. He notified me after a couple of weeks that he had 2 scheduled visits to Sarasota (from StPete where he was staying), we agreed on one day, and the rest is history.

[Frequentflier]

Wouldn't that be more like a frequentflier Reward?

 

Haha. Good and clever point. Thanks.

 

Have a good day