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Does anyone hate where they live more than I do? Take the challenge...


JoeyBryant
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Posted
don't forget that when you move you have to take yourself with you

Hi Joey,

I have moved quite a bit and am already planning my next one. I welcome the challenges that come with new scenery. I end up learning quite a bit about myself and how I interact with the world outside me in the process.

Following Anton and FF's literary bent, I wanted to share a quote I was reminded of when reading this thread.

Actually, it was azdr0710's comment that reminded me of these words by Michel de Montaigne from the essay On Solitude:�

 

Ambition, covetousness, irresolution, fear and desires do not abandon us just because we have changed our landscape.

"Et post equitem sedet atra cura." -Virgil [behind the parting horseman squats black care]

They often follow us into the very cloister...

I wonder if he is suggesting we abandon portions of our identity in our pursuits.

At any rate, its a little food for thought. I'm not sure if it helps in the slightest, so I won't bug you anymore with quotes from centuries old dead guys. :p

Best of luck in your decision making. It seems like quite a few members here are looking for a change of scenery. Erm, can I suggest we all start a commie art farm of sorts? (Clothing optional of course!) Just kidding! I'm sure those rarely work out... especially with all of the humbuggery going on :eek: how would we find the time to feed our free-range, hormone/antibiotic free chickens?!

 

See you in Palm Springs!

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Posted
Well there you go, my point exactly. You can't judge an entire state by an handful of people you have met. If you think that people are putting the "black thing" all up in your face in Colorado, but somehow it is better in Florida? What? Obama might have carried Florida, but make no mistake about it, it is pretty 'red' around here[/u]

 

Florida was home for me. I lived there for 20+ years. I'm only 25 now. South Florida and Central Florida and know about the panhandle. It wasn't necessarily 'better', but it was 'different'. What made it different were the people from other states/countries populating various parts of the state. All my life, I grew up with kids from Michigan, Illinois, Conneticut, Jersey, New York, Maine, Massachusetts...the list goes on. These people didn't just live in the gay neighborhood or in just 1 city. They lived in the suburbs and citis alike.So in Florida, there is really little room for narrow-minded viewpoints because there is so many people from different areas who would find that unacceptable. It won't be long before someone calls them out on it. I am a witness to that after seeing on numerous occasion my New Yorker friends have made a public scene when some Floridian still living in the 80s says something ignorant. In Colorado, they allow people to say silly stuff and are too 'nice' to raise hell. So they keep on saying it, to the next person and the next person and the next person.

 

Contrast that to Denver. Most of the people I've come across are born and raised here. If they did come from elsewhere, it's like Iowa, Nebraska, California's suburbs...Chicago in some cases. Or they are usually older middle-aged who came for the outdoors the state has to offer. Or it's a family from someplace who came here for a quieter lifestyle. People like me who do come out here, stay for a little while...and move on. Or they are native here and talk about moving to LA because 'Denver's lame'. Their words, not mine.

 

Here's another way to say it: The adversarial aloof people in Florida are racist, whereas in Colorado they are just ignorant which is harmless. With Florida, that you can't fix. It just has to be diluted. People have already fixated themselves to believe certain things are true thru experience, upbringing and history.

 

Colorado is better in the sense that people here can be taught better. Ignorance can be fixed. They don't have to make comments like "I'm not usually into (anything besides White) because by broadening themselves, they can go out and see that hey...there are attractive (race) people out there. Who are openly gay, self-sufficient and don't all have nothing going for themselves. They don't have to say stuff like all escorts are just too lazy and are doing it out of pure desperation. They don't have to believe that it's "dangerous" to post ads and allow other gay men into your home for massage and whatever else goes on between 2 people. They don't even gotta believe that this is the only state in the U.S. and there isn't any place better than Colorado. And if you can't make it here, you might as well kill yourself.

 

This is all stuff I hear all too often around here...But I can only do so much teaching. Some people just refuse to learn. Square states...shaped like a box.

Posted

Unlike Epigonos, I have neither history nor family to keep me in California. I choose to live here because, despite all its faults (even the geological ones), I really love this state. We can try to make rational analyses of our feelings about places, but most of our loves and hates of places are basically subjective. If Joey is unhappy in Denver--a city that I, like many others, feel positively towards--then it makes sense for him to look for somewhere he does feel happy, even it is somewhere I wouldn't want to live. Find the place that's right for you, Joey.

Posted
I haven't lived in Austin so can't speak to that. I do know Albuquerque fairly well and please don't do that to yourself. People in NM (I think) are friendly and housing reasonable but there is nearly nothing to do there. LOBOS (college) sports and a balloon festival but then you're reading books or watching movies.

Funny....I had the same feeling about San Antonio. I went there for the whole look-see visit in my evaluation on retirement options. In two days I had done all the tourist things. In the third day, I hired a driver to show me around the neighborhoods. In conclusion, I did not find San Antonio very appealing to the eye. Very brown and barren and stark in most places (as much of Texas is). Sure there are a few pretty areas.....but they are the exception. I got the feeling one would get bored in San Antonio after about two weeks.

 

Question: if it hadn't been for oil and cattle, would Texas have ever become as populated as it has? Vast state with the majority being quite unattractive. Even the coastline along the gulf is.....well meh.

Posted
Funny....I had the same feeling about San Antonio. I went there for the whole look-see visit in my evaluation on retirement options. In two days I had done all the tourist things. In the third day, I hired a driver to show me around the neighborhoods. In conclusion, I did not find San Antonio very appealing to the eye. Very brown and barren and stark in most places (as much of Texas is). Sure there are a few pretty areas.....but they are the exception. I got the feeling one would get bored in San Antonio after about two weeks.

 

Question: if it hadn't been for oil and cattle, would Texas have ever become as populated as it has? Vast state with the majority being quite unattractive. Even the coastline along the gulf is.....well meh.

 

sa is quite a good city I reckon. don't think the driver you hired showed you the real guts. lots of buzz now happening in the downtown and south town area

 

brown or not, its a good city for retirees. property values are good. jobs are plenty. people are happy. Texas in general has been hit minimally in all of this financial shit storm

Posted
sa is quite a good city I reckon. don't think the driver you hired showed you the real guts

Nah. I saw plenty of neighborhoods.....but no compelling reason to retire there. On the plus side, I enjoyed my two days of tourist things and have subsequently recommended it as a place to visit.....but not to live there. You are correct that it is cheap. So is Gary Indiana I suppose. To each his own.

Posted
Funny....I had the same feeling about San Antonio. I went there for the whole look-see visit in my evaluation on retirement options. In two days I had done all the tourist things. In the third day, I hired a driver to show me around the neighborhoods. In conclusion, I did not find San Antonio very appealing to the eye. Very brown and barren and stark in most places (as much of Texas is). Sure there are a few pretty areas.....but they are the exception. I got the feeling one would get bored in San Antonio after about two weeks.

 

Question: if it hadn't been for oil and cattle, would Texas have ever become as populated as it has? Vast state with the majority being quite unattractive. Even the coastline along the gulf is.....well meh.

 

Thankyou. So if anyone is about to suggest that place, this would be my answer in short. I stayed for 7 months, and that was it. It has a lot of potential and initial appeal...but it wears off rather quickly. The gay community was just odd and 'under-privileged', all of my friends with careers had totally abandoned it and had no association with it. There isn't any 1 neighborhood, which was good that you didn't have to drive downtown just to meet someone...but I think every major city with 1 million plus people needs to have that epicenter. Like you said, you do it all in a day basically. It's just a satellite of Houston and Dallas. The military base of Texas.

 

As to the question, probably not. Texas actually isn't very populated once you go west of I-35. And the surrounding states aren't as populated either. But I think it's got to be something else that made it popular because Wyoming has oil and Montana has cattle...both are deserted. I think it's the weather. People move anywhere it gets 80 in the winter and has a body of water. Just look at Florida.

Posted
Nah. I saw plenty of neighborhoods.....but no compelling reason to retire there. On the plus side, I enjoyed my two days of tourist things and have subsequently recommended it as a place to visit.....but not to live there. You are correct that it is cheap. So is Gary Indiana I suppose. To each his own.

 

yeah no reason to retire to texas...

 

http://www.forbes.com/sites/danielfisher/2013/02/25/texas-dominates-the-best-cities-for-good-jobs/

 

http://www.economist.com/news/united-states/21572208-unexpected-surplus-points-pitfalls-texan-austerity-too-much-good-thing

 

http://www.topretirements.com/blog/great-towns/100-best-places-to-retire-for-2013.html/

 

no state tax either. tons of positives, few negatives financially. politically you deal cause the living is so good :)

 

comparing sa to Gary was just a childish low blow. gary has shit going for it. san antonio is the sixth largest city in the usa. no comparison.

Posted
Thankyou. So if anyone is about to suggest that place, this would be my answer in short. I stayed for 7 months, and that was it. It has a lot of potential and initial appeal...but it wears off rather quickly. The gay community was just odd and 'under-privileged' and there isn't any 1 neighborhood, which was good that you didn't have to drive downtown just to meet someone...but I think every major city with 1 million plus people needs to have that epicenter. Like you said, you do it all in a day basically. It's just a satellite of Houston and Dallas. The military base of Texas.

 

As to the question, probably not. Texas actually isn't very populated once you go west of I-35. And the surrounding states aren't as populated either. But I think it's got to be something else that made it popular because Wyoming has oil and Montana has cattle...both are deserted. I think it's the weather. People move anywhere it gets 80 in the winter and has a body of water. Just look at Florida.

 

it looks like your not gonna be happy anywhere you go. everywhere youve been, you complain end lessly about

 

the issue ain't the location or the people

Posted
yeah no reason to retire to texas...

 

http://www.forbes.com/sites/danielfisher/2013/02/25/texas-dominates-the-best-cities-for-good-jobs/

 

http://www.economist.com/news/united-states/21572208-unexpected-surplus-points-pitfalls-texan-austerity-too-much-good-thing

 

 

 

http://www.topretirements.com/blog/great-towns/100-best-places-to-retire-for-2013.html/

 

no state tax either. tons of positives, few negatives financially. politically you deal cause the living is so good :)

 

comparing sa to Gary was just a childish low blow. gary has shit going for it. san antonio is the sixth largest city in the usa. no comparison.

We'll have to agree to disagree. I saw nothing attractive about San Antonio as a place to live.

 

As far as Joey goes, I agree with you that he won't be happy anywhere. Peace.

Posted
it looks like your not gonna be happy anywhere you go. everywhere youve been, you complain end lessly about

 

the issue ain't the location or the people

 

That's very linear thinking on your part. You are also adamantly defendant about Texas, I already knew you'd come at me like that. I prepared for it, I expected it.

 

Listen, to you who think I won't be 'happy' anywhere. America happens to be a very large country with relatively little differences between state to state. I'm well traveled enough BY GROUND, not air...to where I have receipts to be able to critique the places I live which are all VALID. Utah is similiar to Colorado which is similiar to Kansas which shares similarities to Oklahoma which is similar to north Texas and Texas borders Louisiana and so on and so on. Don't believe me?

 

http://thomaslegion.net/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/map_of_usa_regions_by_us_census_bureau.jpg

 

So a person can live in a bunch of states, and not find what they wanted in the next because it made little difference from where they were! Matter of fact, I've known people move around only to go right back to where they are native to. Some never leave at all, like one of my friends who is desperate to leave Colorado, but doesn't have any way to do it.

 

It's regional differences that are going to change things. That's just how it is. You can ask any normal person who may be happy where they are if they'd be happy in a completely different region of the country. People move all the time, I'm just more vocal about it. If Jimboivyo ever left Texas, he'd see that elsewhere SA just isn't the talk of the town.

 

When I meet people from other countries, or have spent significant time living in different places, their response is rather different. Because when they want to get away, they go to their country for a little while. They don't see America as a bunch of states with completely different lifestyles. They see it as 1 country, which is pretty similar with the exception of places along the coast that have been transformed by...you guessed it, other countries.

Posted
yeah no reason to retire to texas...

 

http://www.forbes.com/sites/danielfisher/2013/02/25/texas-dominates-the-best-cities-for-good-jobs/

 

http://www.economist.com/news/united-states/21572208-unexpected-surplus-points-pitfalls-texan-austerity-too-much-good-thing

 

http://www.topretirements.com/blog/great-towns/100-best-places-to-retire-for-2013.html/

 

no state tax either. tons of positives, few negatives financially. politically you deal cause the living is so good :)

 

comparing sa to Gary was just a childish low blow. gary has shit going for it. san antonio is the sixth largest city in the usa. no comparison.

 

Recently read in the Wall Street Journal, and so you need to look under the hood because the outside of the car may look good but the engine has big problems:

 

1. Property taxes are very high and escalate regularly. Business owners in particular are complaining and say there is little change to appeal them because the municipalities need money which they don't get from the state (no income tax). They were reported to rank near the top in the country for property taxes as a % of home value.

2. Sales taxes. State portion alone is 6.25% and of course local governments add on.

3. The state controller is warning about debt levels at local levels have grown too high and insufficient disclosure.

4. Texas competes with Louisiana and Mississippi for highest poverty levels in the country.

5. Significant water issues impairing agriculture and animal herds. Looking to "finally" tap into the states "rainy day money" to start to deal with this.

6. Deteriorating schools as they've been robbed of state funding. Will admit though with pols like Perry, Cruz and others they weren't getting their moneys worth from education dollars they were spending.

7. In spite of its railing against the United States (I'd be happy to let Taxass and the other Red states secede), Texas gets 8% of its GDP from FEDERAL DOLLARS. For me, I'd shut the bastards off completely - there are whining about the impact of the sequester on Texass already.

8. There may be jobs but look at the average wages and then tell me if you're impressed. And again, high poverty levels in Texas. Please don't tell me, like Paul Ryan believes, that people like living in poverty and we have to cut them off so their lives will improve (while still paying over $135 million for a single F-35 airplane when a drone is a far better investment and an 18 year old can safely operate it from Ohio or wherever and it's ok to spend $68 Billion in Afghanistan this year with many more billions to follow even after we're gone).

9. How do Texass pols feel about "our type" in Texas?

 

So I guess it depends on what you mean when you say "few negatives financially". There is no free lunch. Governments and services get paid for one way or another, one needs to add up all the mandatory sources of revenue and then compare. And also consider how sustainable even current tax levels are. Civil/teacher retirement plans in Texas are in trouble too.

Posted
That's very linear thinking on your part. You are also adamantly defendant about Texas, I already knew you'd come at me like that. I prepared for it, I expected it.

 

Listen, to you who think I won't be 'happy' anywhere. America happens to be a very large country with relatively little differences between state to state. I'm well traveled enough BY GROUND, not air...to where I have receipts to be able to critique the places I live which are all VALID. Utah is similiar to Colorado which is similiar to Kansas which shares similarities to Oklahoma which is similar to north Texas and Texas borders Louisiana and so on and so on. Don't believe me?

 

http://thomaslegion.net/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/map_of_usa_regions_by_us_census_bureau.jpg

 

So a person can live in a bunch of states, and not find what they wanted in the next because it made little difference from where they were! Matter of fact, I've known people move around only to go right back to where they are native to. Some never leave at all, like one of my friends who is desperate to leave Colorado, but doesn't have any way to do it.

 

It's regional differences that are going to change things. That's just how it is. You can ask any normal person who may be happy where they are if they'd be happy in a completely different region of the country. People move all the time, I'm just more vocal about it. If Jimboivyo ever left Texas, he'd see that elsewhere SA just isn't the talk of the town.

 

When I meet people from other countries, or have spent significant time living in different places, their response is rather different. Because when they want to get away, they go to their country for a little while. They don't see America as a bunch of states with completely different lifestyles. They see it as 1 country, which is pretty similar with the exception of places along the coast that have been transformed by...you guessed it, other countries.

 

 

damn that was long winded. appreciate the response, but needed a nap mid way though

 

I do travel. have lived other places. own homes in other parts of the world. I don't even live in sa proper. live outside the city, ranch life. I defended sa's numbers, not the city itself

 

I just don't see where youll be happy. you complain about everywhere you've been, play the race card a lot and then ask for advice none of which you seem to take. why even bother asking anymore?

Posted
Recently read in the Wall Street Journal, and so you need to look under the hood because the outside of the car may look good but the engine has big problems:
Mr. Pot, this is Mr. Kettle!

 

1. Property taxes are very high and escalate regularly. Business owners in particular are complaining and say there is little change to appeal them because the municipalities need money which they don't get from the state (no income tax). They were reported to rank near the top in the country for property taxes as a % of home value.
It might serve to factor in that while Texas has high property taxes, the cost of housing is lower, along with the absence of state income tax.

2. Sales taxes. State portion alone is 6.25% and of course local governments add on.
Sounds pretty good to this Californian paying 7.5% State plus another 1.5% County and Local Taxes.

6. Deteriorating schools as they've been robbed of state funding. Will admit though with pols like Perry, Cruz and others they weren't getting their moneys worth from education dollars they were spending.
There, there, FF. Who gets a good return on their educational dollars? Really?

7. In spite of its railing against the United States (I'd be happy to let Taxass and the other Red states secede), Texas gets 8% of its GDP from FEDERAL DOLLARS. For me, I'd shut the bastards off completely - there are whining about the impact of the sequester on Texass already.
Their, they are, they're, THERE! FF, weren't you just talking about getting your money's worth for your education? Really, There are whining???.
Posted
I just don't see where youll be happy. you complain about everywhere you've been, play the race card a lot and then ask for advice none of which you seem to take. why even bother asking anymore?
As my schoolmarm mom says, "Sometimes folks misbehave because they want the attention. Negative attention is better than NO ATTENTION."
Posted

Joey -- you are going to take your issues with you no matter where you move and no matter how much the scenery and local flavor changes.

 

Just think about the framing of the question. You could have asked: DO YOU LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE? or TELL ME ABOUT A GREAT PLACE IN THE USA or even the balanced approach of TELL ME THE PROS/CONS OF YOUR AREA or USA: PLACES TO CONSIDER, PLACES TO AVOID

 

Instead, you asked: Does anyone HATE where they live as much as I do? And then challenged the forum to a pissing contest to see if we could out-hate you with our city. What a great way to start a potential move!

 

So wherever you move -- be it Seattle, be it San Diego, be it Boston, be it Miami or be it between those four far-flung locales, you're going to arrive ready to start filling out your inevitable laundry list of complaints. That's why I advised you to save the money and the hassles of moving until you find more to like about where you already live.

Posted
I find it interesting that so many people do love Austin. Personally, I can't wait to get the heck out of Texas-- unfortunately I can't quite swing that yet. If I did have to live in Texas (and I do) Austin is probably the best of the options but give me a place with 4 seasons and not just hot and humid and hotter and humid. The politics of Texas sickens me as well unless you really like Republican agenda domination with things like forcing schoolchildren to learn the theory of evolution and "the theory" of creation equally make you happy.

 

Spot on comment. Austin is only tolerable if you don't leave the city. Drive 10 minutes in any direction and as a gay man I'd be afraid to have a tire blow out.

Posted

I just don't see where youll be happy. you complain about everywhere you've been, play the race card a lot and then ask for advice none of which you seem to take. why even bother asking anymore?

 

Did you read half of the things I mentioned thus-far or just Christmas treeing through the pages? Of the stuff I mentioned...I didn't pull the card first, they did. I'm not the one going around telling people I'm not normally into somebody's race to their face...they did. I had friends who constantly felt the need to tell me certain guys weren't into my race. For what? If it's to be competitive and make jealous, that's a terribly, under-handed way to do it. But in Colorado, they think it's cute. Do you know how that makes me feel? No you don't because you don't know what it's like to be in my shoes. You need to admit that. Admit that you'll never know, what I've gone thru and what I hear repetitively. Besides, I don't want to get into that. I don't have to sit here and explain all that. I know what I've heard, it wasn't the 'voices in my head'.

 

And I have not complained about everywhere I've been. I liked Minneapolis. I like San Fran, I liked Phoenix, I liked Milwaukee, I liked Albuquerque. It's Just Texas and Colorado so far as it's concerned in this article. I even liked Denver at first until I started 'opening the hood' as someone said it. So what is this everything coming from? I'm at a loss...

 

Just think about the framing of the question. .

 

I agree with you, I could have taken a different approach....but in the end the thread still came out with it's list of things people like and don't like about their area. I think we all learned something. Some don't want to learn, they just rather predict my destiny based on their own life experiences, not mine. They can't offer anything constructive because they are in denial of the fact that these things really do exist. You know who you are.

 

I've already saved money staying here looking at things I like and don't like. I like that it's affordable in a sense and it's nearby mountains and stuff. I like snow...but that's about it. There's really nothing else compelling to want to stay here. I've tried it already, it hasn't worked out. I thought of 30 reasons it hasn't worked out, I can't think of 30 things I do like about it. People always say, write down a list of things you do and don't like and figure which one outweighs the other.

 

I'll give it the benefit of the doubt that maybe, just maybe...I have been unfortunate to consistently come across the wrong people.

Posted
I know. It's like a list of who's the crazier one. Btw..interesting friends ya got.

 

I think I have the widest range of friends with the most diverse backgrounds and opinions of anyone I know. I'm always surprised how many lefties have only leftie friends and how many righties have only rightie friends. I can't imagine how boring that must be to always be around with people in an echo chamber :)

Posted
Allot of people don't know where Fremont or San Bernardino is so it's probably just easier to round up to the nearest big name.

 

That's misleading though. It's like someone saying they're from Miami but they're from homestead. Trying to make themselves sound important is what it is.

Posted
Mr. Pot, this is Mr. Kettle!

 

It might serve to factor in that while Texas has high property taxes, the cost of housing is lower, along with the absence of state income tax.

Sounds pretty good to this Californian paying 7.5% State plus another 1.5% County and Local Taxes.

There, there, FF. Who gets a good return on their educational dollars? Really?

Their, they are, they're, THERE! FF, weren't you just talking about getting your money's worth for your education? Really, There are whining???.

 

I can't stop yawning. Housing prices/poverty levels/property taxes. And if you don't like California...move...and if you are so admiring of Taxass..go there. You aren't the Governor of California, the film industry, university system, Silicon Valley and whatever else your concerned won't survive without you will be just fine if you aren't there. I'm sure (in your own mind) you've got more money than John Paulson (who since you know everything is rumored to be thinking of move to Puerto Rico - hey - you should press speed dial 200 on your flip phone and call him - because you are pals and TELL HIM HOW WONDERFUL TAXASS is) and do whatever you want whenever you want...so act our your fantasy life and move. Dude - unless there are two of them and I've missed the other, Taxass sucks. Not enough water, too much dust, too many rednecks, too many homophobic people..too many smells...and not the good kind when you're driving through it..and stupid....make that absolutely stupid/hater...politicians...and that they get elected doesn't say anything good about those who voted for them. But again..let your little pink pocketbook do the talking and move to your definition of heaven..and PLEASE carry that pocketbook in public when you get there. And as for typos and me typing on an iPhone, go find a surgeon to have your panties extracted from the crusty bottom before that is no longer possible. Oh...sorry...I almost forgot...hope you have a nice evening :) Guess we have to mix it up from time to time or its just not interesting.

Posted
I can't stop yawning. Housing prices/poverty levels/property taxes. And if you don't like California...move...and if you are so admiring of Taxass..go there. You aren't the Governor of California, the film industry, university system, Silicon Valley and whatever else your concerned won't survive without you will be just fine if you aren't there. I'm sure (in your own mind) you've got more money than John Paulson (who since you know everything is rumored to be thinking of move to Puerto Rico - hey - you should press speed dial 200 on your flip phone and call him - because you are pals and TELL HIM HOW WONDERFUL TAXASS is) and do whatever you want whenever you want...so act our your fantasy life and move. Dude - unless there are two of them and I've missed the other, Taxass sucks. Not enough water, too much dust, too many rednecks, too many homophobic people..too many smells...and not the good kind when you're driving through it..and stupid....make that absolutely stupid/hater...politicians...and that they get elected doesn't say anything good about those who voted for them. But again..let your little pink pocketbook do the talking and move to your definition of heaven..and PLEASE carry that pocketbook in public when you get there. And as for typos and me typing on an iPhone, go find a surgeon to have your panties extracted from the crusty bottom before that is no longer possible. Oh...sorry...I almost forgot...hope you have a nice evening :) Guess we have to mix it up from time to time or its just not interesting.

Funny, you repeat yourself with NO comment on just what I posted. But then that might require a bit of intelligence versus your closed-mindedness about anything you don't understand yet you still retain an opinion.

 

You are such a stereotypical hater, it's a wonder you don't hate yourself.

Posted
Sorry, not worth the time. Have a nice day :)

Good decision. ISC (aka SpinCity) is a tragic lost soul. He still believes Obama was not born in the US.....which means his mind operates on a parallel plane or in a fantasy world. I've concluded it's either heavy drugs or simple insanity that are to blame.

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