ROUGH SEX -- yea or nay? (Just an informal poll of clients and escorts)

[Decatur Guy]

One of the frustrations of hiring is being able to find an escort who has experience at this kind of rough stuff, knows how to intuit a guy's limits, and can do a spontaneous session.... When you find one, hold on tight!

 

I've found quite a few good ones who can do that. And you're right, they are special.

[Guest boiworship08]

One of the frustrations of hiring is being able to find an escort who has experience at this kind of rough stuff, knows how to intuit a guy's limits, and can do a spontaneous session.... When you find one, hold on tight!

 

I have a few regulars who I trained to be dominant twinks. They were new at it, and seemed to take to it eagerly. I'm lucky, I guess. I do like rough play, like to be dominated and spoken to harshly. In the beginning, deep kissing leads to power exchange, and then I want to be dominated. Great release and satisfying role play!

[Mariner45]

If rough sex is dominance, wrestling, and really strong physical lovemaking than yes. Pain, humiliation, or one man existing to serve the other's needs? Hell no. No offense to any, just not my thing.

[GoodFella69]

Good question DG. I definitely prefer gentle, romantic love-making with me on top. Rough sex just isn't my style.

 

Goodfella

[miguy]

I pay good money for it.

[bcohen7719]

When I was in Brasil a few years ago, an escort fucked my mouth/ throat to the point that I was out of commission for over a week. ...had to seek medical care when I returned to the States, and when I'd gone to another Brasilian city and to a sauna, the only thing that I could do was sit and observe. The "boys" who were there asked my friend why I was not seeking what they had to offer. My amigo smiled and feigned innocence.

 

 

 

I like big dicks but cannot have my mouth and throat treated roughly. ...like to slap ass hard with open hand as well as have mine slapped. ...like rough nip play with fingers and at time like to feel some teeth on the "twins."

Was with a hot leather man in San Francisco two years ago. He's a "ginger man" and has an ad at http://www.rentmen.com, San Francisco. When we were together, I was tied up but was not hurting in anyway. He and I had one hell of a great time. Eating ass in this position is wonderful. {...was my first time.} But like JJ, I really don't like sexual play too, too rough short of pain! {The preceding thoughts are random; excuse the organization!}

 

Axiom,

 

I'm sorry this happened to you. What medical problems come about from rough oral treatment? Do the cheeks of the mouth become bruised, or caps/dentures get displaced? if too personal, PM me.

 

BC

[Bart]

I think there are degrees of rough/physical sex. My personal favorite is sensual aggressive sex. You may wonder how they can be melded but it is all in the communication and connection with the gentleman you are with. Being a bottom, I enjoy men who like to be physical, use their whole body, beyond just the dick. A massage using the whole body, then licking and nibbling at the ears, (revving the engine in my book), a slap or two to the ass, pulled to the side of the bed, nasty talk, licking and rubbing, entry slow teasing way, varying the approach, arm under the neck a squeeze, and you beg for the pounding to begin and damn you want it!. See physical, aggressive but sensual. Even gentle slaps on the face while sucking but the key element is control. The tops goal is not to inflict pain but raise the desire, the want and need. I really believe its the increase of the energy field between the two people and I just think it takes the sex to another level.

[uwsman2]

Bart, exactly right. You described just what I like in an escort top. Somebody who takes the initiative to really work his bottom up to taking a real pounding. Such escorts are not easy to find - you really can't tell much from an ad - but sometimes I find the reviews on this site are very helpful for that.

[Nvr2Thick]

Yea

 

I think some guys play rough because their partners like it rough or like some pain. Some guys play rough because they enjoy giving pain. The best sex, for me, is when a top is rough because he is aggressively seeking his own pleasure. I've found that I respond poorly when someone is trying to make me feel good. If a man is focused on his own pleasure it makes me hot, no matter how rough he gets.

 

Also, when I'm with a big-dicked top I have a hard time getting past my fear of choking or getting hurt by a rough fuck. It's great when it happens, but I'm not the type of power bottom who can take the initiative. The top has to be forceful and insistent.

 

Some of my best sex years ago was with a very well-hung top in San Francisco who had become very jaded by all the local guys who tried to gain his interest so that they could take pleasure from him and his dick. He singled me out as a visitor who did not know him by his reputation. We had a great couple of days where he used and abused me for his amusement and pleasure, and I ended up enjoying every minute of it. He stuffed my mouth as deep as he could while I panicked and fought to keep up, and let the excitement take over. When he breached and pounded me it hurt like hell, but I was so wrapped up in his pursuit of satisfaction. It's a perfect circle when this happens. The more he enjoys himself the more passionate and intimate the act becomes, and the more receptive I become to accept whatever he wants to do to me...

[uwsman2]

NvR2Thick - You've described it so well. And it is so difficult to achieve with an escort, because they are in business and trying to please you in hopes of making a repeat customer or getting a good review. My most satisfactory times with escorts have been when they were convincingly seeking pleasure from the experience, or at least led me to believe they were. Some passion and excitement gets communicated then.

[Xander]

I think there are degrees of rough/physical sex. My personal favorite is sensual aggressive sex. You may wonder how they can be melded but it is all in the communication and connection with the gentleman you are with. Being a bottom, I enjoy men who like to be physical, use their whole body, beyond just the dick. A massage using the whole body, then licking and nibbling at the ears, (revving the engine in my book), a slap or two to the ass, pulled to the side of the bed, nasty talk, licking and rubbing, entry slow teasing way, varying the approach, arm under the neck a squeeze, and you beg for the pounding to begin and damn you want it!. See physical, aggressive but sensual. Even gentle slaps on the face while sucking but the key element is control. The tops goal is not to inflict pain but raise the desire, the want and need. I really believe its the increase of the energy field between the two people and I just think it takes the sex to another level.

 

My kind of guy

[ErieBear]

I definitely like being dominated, almost a seduction type domination. I enjoy some forms of kink (bondage, flogging, domination), but don't enjoy other forms of kink (heavy-duty pain, cbt, mind-fucks).

 

I've been with several guys (not escorts) who swore up and down they were going to turn me into a slave. Then we got together and they finally said, "you're much more of a sub or a boy than a slave." I've finally gotten to the point where if they said that they're going to turn me into a slave, I don't get together with them. It's just not worth it.

[+ Tom Isern]

in my experience, guys who prefer the romantic/mutual side of this equation tend to think of sex as something that just "naturally" happens when two guys tumble into bed. this model of sexual behavior is the heteronormative model and we learn it from watching "their" media and listening to their sermons. guys who play in this mode tend to be afraid of bdsm, kink, raunch, etc. and, unfortunately, they tend to use phrases like "authentic eros," as if there is one "authentic" way to have sex. indeed, they frequently assume exactly that. they tend to essentialize desire, fear difference, and worse, they tend to police others' desires. usually this model of sex involves the idea of the merging of identities (similar identities) into "something greater." i'm not saying that everyone in the romantic/mutual mode believes these things, but that in my experience, they tend to go together.

 

on the other side of this equation are guys who look at sex less in the romantic merging of souls mode and more as a kind of shared pleasures of the bodily model. it's important to remember that in s/m play, for instance, the pain is an integral and essential part of the pleasure—you're dropping hot wax on someone, you'd better be damn good and sure his cock is raging hard and in your control. if it's not, he's going to be pissed. pain doesn't work without pleasure. people get hickies (sp?) because they do actually love the pain/pleasure combo and don't even realize it. pain magnifies pleasure. that takes learning. this kind of play (bdsm/etc) requires skill and learning. i admire these guys more than any, especially the real deepthroat artists, the guys you can wrap your thighs around their face, sink your cock down their throat, and just let them have it. and they love it. and frequently, they've learned it. they've developed an advanced and, for them, non-genital skill that they love that is about certain kinds of shared pleasure. i find this kind of play space much more compelling and fun. i also find it more ethical (i know i might get slammed here, but that's okay. i've developed broad shoulders). i think these kinds of "players" are more open to different ages, different races, different sexual experimentations and ways of being. leather guys are, in general, less judgmental, in my experience, than most gay men.

 

does this match other people's experience? my big question about all this is how to put the two "schools"—if you will—together in a relationship. i'd like to find a man, my very own alpha prince, to merge with. but i want to do unspeakable things to his muscled body when we're behind closed doors (or not).

[Zapped]

This is what I like, too, but if I am with a "youngish bottom boy," {which has occurred 3Xs during 2012}, I like to be in control; I like "my boy" to receive from "his daddy." I like to slap ass {open handed} and tell "my hot bottom" boy what I desire from him! This has been too hot for me indeed! I'd liked! I liked! I liked!

 

Me, too--I love being dominated by a muscular stud, and occasionally dominating a younger "boy."

[Zapped]

in my experience, guys who prefer the romantic/mutual side of this equation tend to think of sex as something that just "naturally" happens when two guys tumble into bed. this model of sexual behavior is the heteronormative model and we learn it from watching "their" media and listening to their sermons. guys who play in this mode tend to be afraid of bdsm, kink, raunch, etc. . . . usually this model of sex involves the idea of the merging of identities (similar identities) into "something greater." i'm not saying that everyone in the romantic/mutual mode believes these things, but that in my experience, they tend to go together.

 

on the other side of this equation are guys who look at sex less in the romantic merging of souls mode and more as a kind of shared pleasures of the bodily model. it's important to remember that in s/m play, for instance, the pain is an integral and essential part of the pleasure . . .

 

does this match other people's experience? my big question about all this is how to put the two "schools"—if you will—together in a relationship. i'd like to find a man, my very own alpha prince, to merge with. but i want to do unspeakable things to his muscled body when we're behind closed doors (or not).

 

What a fascinating post (which I've excerpted). We are both wounded and insecure in similar ways--homophobic families; slight builds in childhood that made us the source of ridicule and bullying (and self-disdain); and we each have a moderate case of spoiled-(quasi)rich-kid syndrome and tend to be chronically lazy. And/or we each deal with major depressive episodes, mood swings, and in my case, anxiety attacks (I regularly see a psychiatrist and a therapist).

 

Romantic, affectionate kissing, embracing, holding, and sweet cock sucking are deeply important to each of us, and are part of our daily life together.

 

And we both love role play, including humiliation, master-slave fantasies (although not a master-slave lifestyle), and dad-son fantasies. Hair pulling, biting, disdainful spitting, face and ass slapping, and occasional light bondage and very occasional light whipping. We are both versatile bottoms, and as I'm more versatile, I do more of the topping in role play. He's 22 and I'm 54, but I have as much "father hunger" as he does, and he'll play daddy to my boy, and I have intense orgasms when "daddy" jerks off his "son" and tells him to cum. Or when he plays the arrogant straight jock and the pathetic faggot sucks his dick. Or when he's the boy begging "sir" to cum in his ass.

 

So, Tom, it is possible to find a guy who's loving, romantic, and into kink. How I was lucky enough to find this one I'll never know, except that I had gotten clear internally that I like both domains, and was open about it. (I'd put things like "nice guy with a kinky side" in profiles.) What works for us, I think, is that we love each other and understand each other's need to be dominated, to feel physical pain, and, on occasion, to be humiliated in a safe, respectful place.

[+ Tygerscent]

My experience has been different. I've not found romantically founded guys to necessarily stick with that or be afraid of going into the kinky realm of things. I've been with both venues as starting pints in the "relationships" we have developed together over time. Each unique and growing. Sometimes it starts off as ultimate kink. Sometimes it starts of as romantic. in The end, the expression varies over time and the sexual arena changes. Our starting point is a sexual arena perhaps but that rarely seems to be the end point.

The end point seems more to do with our growth and interaction on various Intimacy levels... trust and acceptance, value and worth... love and caring. (Even in the raunchiest settings and perhaps more so in them~). Those "heteronormative" values fell away, (if they was there at all in the first place... and it isn't always the paradigm foundation), after shared personal time.

There is a difference between "policing" each others desires and mutually moving into them as guardians unto each other~ Even in the BDSM mode... Even with slaves and subs... they seek a sense of satisfaction and that defines their worth to keep doing that ongoing successfully~

The deeper BDSM relationships I have encountered are more about the trust/soul merger then the romantic ones~ The ways trust is defined and initiated, played out is different but, in the end it;s about self esteem and self worth: bonding need that human beings need to live~

Pain emotionally on the romantic side is not less significant or complex then physical pain a pain pig desires or demands~ Pain is not separate from the other parts of us: emotional, psychological, physical, spiritual. We operate three dimensionally~

Whether with a pain pig, fetish intrigued or romantically inclined person i think: "What is their over all goal in life...? Do they want to live or die or something in-between.? What are they looking to get not just from this experience as we have it but where it takes them beyond that~?".

All people are judgmental and especially when it comes to their sexual expression whether romantic or kinky~ Both venues are particular. It's important to understand how and why~ The arena may be sexual but, the over all realm is human Intimacy and trust with bonding~ There is a bonding need... not just a social need but physically bonding need that is integrated into our natural being~

There's more to this then I can write here~ There always is... the learning is ongoing and never fully written~

Tyger!

tygerkink@yahoo.com

971.400.2633

http://www.tygerscent.biz

http://www.daddyreviews.com/review/tyger_portland

http://www.men4rentnow.com (tygerscent in Portland, Oregon)

http://www.rentmen.com (AAAtygerscentXXX in Portland Oregon)

http://www.maleescortreview.com (Tygerscent in Portland, Oregon)

 

 

 

in my experience, guys who prefer the romantic/mutual side of this equation tend to think of sex as something that just "naturally" happens when two guys tumble into bed. this model of sexual behavior is the heteronormative model and we learn it from watching "their" media and listening to their sermons. guys who play in this mode tend to be afraid of bdsm, kink, raunch, etc. and, unfortunately, they tend to use phrases like "authentic eros," as if there is one "authentic" way to have sex. indeed, they frequently assume exactly that. they tend to essentialize desire, fear difference, and worse, they tend to police others' desires. usually this model of sex involves the idea of the merging of identities (similar identities) into "something greater." i'm not saying that everyone in the romantic/mutual mode believes these things, but that in my experience, they tend to go together.

 

on the other side of this equation are guys who look at sex less in the romantic merging of souls mode and more as a kind of shared pleasures of the bodily model. it's important to remember that in s/m play, for instance, the pain is an integral and essential part of the pleasure—you're dropping hot wax on someone, you'd better be damn good and sure his cock is raging hard and in your control. if it's not, he's going to be pissed. pain doesn't work without pleasure. people get hickies (sp?) because they do actually love the pain/pleasure combo and don't even realize it. pain magnifies pleasure. that takes learning. this kind of play (bdsm/etc) requires skill and learning. i admire these guys more than any, especially the real deepthroat artists, the guys you can wrap your thighs around their face, sink your cock down their throat, and just let them have it. and they love it. and frequently, they've learned it. they've developed an advanced and, for them, non-genital skill that they love that is about certain kinds of shared pleasure. i find this kind of play space much more compelling and fun. i also find it more ethical (i know i might get slammed here, but that's okay. i've developed broad shoulders). i think these kinds of "players" are more open to different ages, different races, different sexual experimentations and ways of being. leather guys are, in general, less judgmental, in my experience, than most gay men.

 

does this match other people's experience? my big question about all this is how to put the two "schools"—if you will—together in a relationship. i'd like to find a man, my very own alpha prince, to merge with. but i want to do unspeakable things to his muscled body when we're behind closed doors (or not).

[Mariner45]

I'd say 4 of 5 times I love the slow, sensual boyfriend experience and then 1 of 5 times I like a rough, sweaty tumble in bed.

[+ Tygerscent]

Ya... Your words are right on point... That's just it... not one single formula for a given individual~ It's almost a matter of degrees of percentages and few are 100% romance or 100% kink~ We have varying degrees of expression and self discovery... All trails lead home though... wherever in ones Heart "home" is~

Being perceptive about where that is with your partner can take you into all kinds of amazing places that one static POV might otherwise miss~

Tyger!

tygerkink@yahoo.com

971.400.2633

http://www.tygerscent.biz

http://www.daddyreviews.com/review/tyger_portland

http://www.men4rentnow.com (tygerscent in Portland, Oregon)

http://www.rentmen.com (AAAtygerscentXXX in Portland Oregon)

http://www.maleescortreview.com (Tygerscent in Portland, Oregon)

 

I'd say 4 of 5 times I love the slow, sensual boyfriend experience and then 1 of 5 times I like a rough, sweaty tumble in bed.