Is Anyone Here Married...as in gay marriage?

[+ Lucky]

With all of the advocacy for gay marriage, I haven't heard anyone here say that they entered into one. I'd like to know all about it if you did.Where, by whom, how much, what were the highs and the lows. Any info really on your gay marriage.

[Bosguy]

Despite a 30 year relationship, my ex-partner and I agreed 100% against marriage because we had both gone through "straight" divorces. Our demise was much simpler and friendlier without the marriage issue.

 

Boston Bill

[N13]

45 years into our relationship, we decided to get married. At City Hall. No big wedding or party. Our prime reasons were: 1...In case of medical emergency or hospitalization there is no question - or problem - with our being there for each other and 2: NYS inheritance laws allow our property to go to the other one without taxation. (Not so for Federal taxes!!!!)

 

The marriage has caused no change in our relationship...but has eased some worries. Our straight friends were more excited about it then we were!

[jjkrkwood]

My long time partner and I had decided against marriage if it were to ever become an option. He passed 12 yrs ago when it was only a hope for the gay community.

 

However, if I had to make the choice now, I would opt for it simply for the same reasons of inclusion that N13 stated...

 

After having him hospitalized and subsequently passing, and being denied information, visitation and decision making rights, it became clear that marriage was Necessary for couples in long term relationships IF they chose it. Would have made life much easier and civil...

[+ Robster]

My husband and I have gotten married twice. Once in Canada back in 2006, after they legalized it, and again here in California two years later, when they briefly legalized it as well. It was important to us that we get married somewhere where it was legally recognized, even if it wouldn't be when we came back home. So we went to Canada and got married, and honeymooned in Niagara Falls, on the Canadian side, so we'd be considered legally married as long as possible. Fortunately, even though California passed Prop. 8, we're still legally married. I love being able to refer to Wayne as my husband, and have it be 100% true!

 

Rob

[Rick Munroe]

Any info really on your gay marriage.

 

It's just marriage, not "gay marriage." We don't say "straight marriage," do we? Just as a black husband and his white wife are married -- not "interracially married" -- two men are married, not gay married.

[tyro]

A LOT of guys here are married to women, though, and that's obviously not the kind of relationship Lucky was inquiring about.

T

PS Will you be posting anything bouncy soon?

[uwsman2]

My partner and I married in our 30th anniversary month. It was mainly in the hope that we might enjoy tax advantages and avoid tax penalties of being treated as "legal strangers". Jointly owning a co-op apartment in NYC that has appreciated enormously in value since we bought it together more than 20 years ago, we wanted to protect each other from inheritance taxes. We're halfway there. (NY State recognizes our marriage - pending litigation involving someone else's inheritance case, Windsor v. US, may force the feds to as well before too long.) OUr relationship feels no different.

[+ Lucky]

A LOT of guys here are married to women, though, and that's obviously not the kind of relationship Lucky was inquiring about.

T

PS Will you be posting anything bouncy soon?

 

Thank you, Tyro.

[seeker630]

It's just marriage, not "gay marriage." We don't say "straight marriage," do we? Just as a black husband and his white wife are married -- not "interracially married" -- two men are married, not gay married.

 

Same-sex marriages are a subset of 'marriages'. If he only wants to know about those, he SHOULD be specific.

[Rick Munroe]

A LOT of guys here are married to women, though, and that's obviously not the kind of relationship Lucky was inquiring about.

T

PS Will you be posting anything bouncy soon?

 

But notice you just said "married to women," not "straight married.". My point is still valid. He could have asked if anyone is married to a man. Remember, we're (those of us not in the closet) fighting for marriage equality, not some separate, special thing called "gay marriage." Words do matter. Even when they're used by Lucky.

 

Did you see the hole pic in my travel post?

[trilingual]

My Brazilian partner and I got married yesterday in NYC. After 8 years together it seemed like time to take things to the next level! We are two very happy campers! After 66 years of being single I wasn't sure this would ever happen, but it was never my goal in life to spend it all on my own. Not that being single wasn't fine -- it was. But becoming part of my partner's life on a permanent basis (and vice-versa) is even better!

 

Of course, this is going to cause changes in both our lives. My home state has an anti-marriage constitutional amendment, so until DOMA is repealed or overturned this will have limited legal effect for us. But I'm confident DOMA will be gone by next summer. Then I can apply for a permanent visa for my partner. Hopefully the courts will hold that states must recognized valid same-sex marriages under the Full Faith and Credit clause of the Constitution, too. And our marriage will be recognized now in Brazil. New adventures await! And an even deeper and closer relationship than before. Behind my partner's rather matter-of-fact math teacher façade lurks a secret romantic! I always suspected it, but now it's all come out following our wedding! It's always good to know that there's someone in this world who wants to spend their days at your side (and vice-versa). And to think this really got started with that Brazilian sauna review I wrote years ago now -- although my spouse was never an escort.

[tyro]

May you and the love of your life have many, many more happy years together. Congratulations.

T

[bigvalboy]

My Brazilian partner and I got married yesterday in NYC. After 8 years together it seemed like time to take things to the next level! We are two very happy campers! After 66 years of being single I wasn't sure this would ever happen, but it was never my goal in life to spend it all on my own. Not that being single wasn't fine -- it was. But becoming part of my partner's life on a permanent basis (and vice-versa) is even better!

 

Of course, this is going to cause changes in both our lives. My home state has an anti-marriage constitutional amendment, so until DOMA is repealed or overturned this will have limited legal effect for us. But I'm confident DOMA will be gone by next summer. Then I can apply for a permanent visa for my partner. Hopefully the courts will hold that states must recognized valid same-sex marriages under the Full Faith and Credit clause of the Constitution, too. And our marriage will be recognized now in Brazil. New adventures await! And an even deeper and closer relationship than before. Behind my partner's rather matter-of-fact math teacher façade lurks a secret romantic! I always suspected it, but now it's all come out following our wedding! It's always good to know that there's someone in this world who wants to spend their days at your side (and vice-versa). And to think this really got started with that Brazilian sauna review I wrote years ago now -- although my spouse was never an escort.

 

Always nice to read something like this, it gives me hope....thank you for that this morning! I wish you guys all the best.

[+ Charlie]

Congratulations and felicitations!