What if the escort suggests?

[unsub2O17]

So here we are in the middle of a session with another session scheduled, and he (the escort) says, "Next time,let's go out to lunch afterwards." Now, what am I supposed to do?? Stop this session to say, "wait, we have to decide whether or not this is on or off your tab" or "who's paying and how much" or "where and why"? What I said was "let me think about it." So, now what do I do??

[Diverdan]

It all depends on how much you like this guy. There are a number of guys I have been with that I would enjoy going out to lunch with and paying for it. If you had a good time, why not extend it over lunch... I assume he is not asking you to pay for that time with you, but maybe he is... communication for clarification is always key... but it is a bit strange to have this question asked in the middle of the session, rather than the end. What did you eventualy do??

[nate_sf]

When it's getting close to the date of your next scheduled session, get back in touch with him to confirm and mention his suggestion that you get lunch afterwards. Ask him what he had in mind in terms of arrangements. It was his suggestion, so he should be able to fill in the details. If he does not directly address the financials, you could ask something like "would this be billable time?"

 

Once after I'd had a massage and was chatting with the masseur as I got dressed he asked what I was doing afterwards, and did I want to go out and grab lunch. He had a boyfriend so I did not interpret this to be anything other than a friendly gesture (and it was lunchtime so he was going to get lunch anyways), but it caught me off guard a bit. We went somewhere with counter service for sandwiches and I think we each paid for our own orders. But I realize massage appointments have more generally understood parameters, like either you're getting a massage or you're not!

[unsub2O17]

DD, haven't done anything yet. Just stalled. I do like him easily enough to go out for a meal. There are issues about needing to be discreet, but I think that they can be overcome. Do you really think that he expects to extend his charge time when he suggested lunch?

[KMEM]

Not if he is an escort and not a money grubbing something else.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[maxwellissmart]

DD, haven't done anything yet. Just stalled. I do like him easily enough to go out for a meal. There are issues about needing to be discreet, but I think that they can be overcome. Do you really think that he expects to extend his charge time when he suggested lunch?

 

Unless he wore his "Look, I'm A W+HORE" t-shirt, I doubt it's going to be an issue.

 

1) Meet with escort. 2) Pay escort. 3) After handing money, say: "oh, by the way—I have time for lunch if you'd like to grab a quick bite." 4) Escort accepts = off the clock. Escort does not accept = escort doesn't get lunch.

[jjkrkwood]

Unless he wore his "Look, I'm A W+HORE" t-shirt, I doubt it's going to be an issue.

 

1) Meet with escort. 2) Pay escort. 3) After handing money, say: "oh, by the way—I have time for lunch if you'd like to grab a quick bite." 4) Escort accepts = off the clock. Escort does not accept = escort doesn't get lunch.

 

Max, I would NEVER presume or assume anything. The escort might accept, and at the end of lunch look for a fee. I believe its ALWAYS best to lay the cards on the table and be clear on what is happening. Afterall, it is a business deal that brought you 2 together in the first place. You dont know him or how he thinks. and HIS time IS money.... Better safe than sorry. And if the escort looks down on you for even asking, then at least you know WHERE he's coming from.... I also believe escorts are very saavy. They KNOW when you are smitten, and they know how to work you. That is not meant to be a negative comment, its their business to be perceptive and READ their client, and as well make the most of it for themselves. The client however MUST be realistic about the situation. Very RARELY does an escort suggesting a meal mean that he is in LOVE with you...

[jawjateck]

So here we are in the middle of a session with another session scheduled, and he (the escort) says, "Next time,let's go out to lunch afterwards." Now, what am I supposed to do?? Stop this session to say, "wait, we have to decide whether or not this is on or off your tab" or "who's paying and how much" or "where and why"? What I said was "let me think about it." So, now what do I do??

 

How thoughtful of him to invite you out to lunch next time! Simply acknowledge the invitation with an affirmative (if you are interested in being seen with him in public), and return promptly to the transaction at hand.

 

Surely, he understands proper etiquette, right? He's a gentleman, and since he offered, it's "off the clock", and his dime for the meal. I invite; I pay. He invites; he pays. But sigh.......you're right to be clear on the arrangement, since some are not schooled in etiquette or manners.

[jjkrkwood]

How thoughtful of him to invite you out to lunch next time! Simply acknowledge the invitation with an affirmative (if you are interested in being seen with him in public), and return promptly to the transaction at hand.

 

Surely, he understands proper etiquette, right? He's a gentleman, and since he offered, it's "off the clock", and his dime for the meal. I invite; I pay. He invites; he pays. But sigh.......you're right to be clear on the arrangement, since some are not schooled in etiquette or manners.

 

Jaw, with respect to your post and comments, I really think the nature of the original encounter MUST be taken into consideration here. This is not just 2 guys meeting at Starbucks and becoming smitten with each other and wanting to spend some private time together over a meal. The context is QUITE different and therefore perhaps could play to a whole different set of rules ? I dont see anything wrong with ASKING what the arrangement would be considering the circumstances. But then again, I am NOT Emily Post or Miss Manners !

[maxwellissmart]

Max, I would NEVER presume or assume anything. The escort might accept, and at the end of lunch look for a fee. I believe its ALWAYS best to lay the cards on the table and be clear on what is happening. Afterall, it is a business deal that brought you 2 together in the first place. You dont know him or how he thinks. and HIS time IS money.... Better safe than sorry. And if the escort looks down on you for even asking, then at least you know WHERE he's coming from.... I also believe escorts are very saavy. They KNOW when you are smitten, and they know how to work you. That is not meant to be a negative comment, its their business to be perceptive and READ their client, and as well make the most of it for themselves. The client however MUST be realistic about the situation. Very RARELY does an escort suggesting a meal mean that he is in LOVE with you...

 

The easiest way to head off this problem is to add in: "my treat" and use a casual tone. If the escort is so obtuse as to first suggest lunch, them be offered lunch and then try to make an appointment out of it—he also deserves to be told bluntly: "That wasn't my intention, and I'm sorry you misunderstood. My apologies." Then I would never hire him again.

 

And I've gone out to lunch a number of times with clients, on my dime, because 1) I was hungry, and 2) I enjoyed the company.

[jawjateck]

Jaw, with respect to your post and comments, I really think the nature of the original encounter MUST be taken into consideration here. This is not just 2 guys meeting at Starbucks and becoming smitten with each other and wanting to spend some private time together over a meal. The context is QUITE different and therefore perhaps could play to a whole different set of rules ? I dont see anything wrong with ASKING what the arrangement would be considering the circumstances. But then again, I am NOT Emily Post or Miss Manners !

 

My response was laced with sarcasm, jj....But I do not personally believe that etiquette depends on context either. Right is right....regardless....

[jawjateck]

As for my personal experience, when I invite an escort to lunch, it has always been on my dime, both the time and the meal. When the escort invites or mentions a shared meal, it has always been "off the clock", but I usually pay the check, or at least attempt to pay; on several occasions, I have had escorts pay for the meal. Very sweet and always unexpected!

[citylaw1]

Unless he wore his "Look, I'm A W+HORE" t-shirt, I doubt it's going to be an issue.

 

1) Meet with escort. 2) Pay escort. 3) After handing money, say: "oh, by the way—I have time for lunch if you'd like to grab a quick bite." 4) Escort accepts = off the clock. Escort does not accept = escort doesn't get lunch.

 

LOL Maxwell. Your advice is sound. Too much is being made of this lunch. Had the escort suggested "maybe we should have lunch with your Mom next time," it would be different.

[jjkrkwood]

LOL Maxwell. Your advice is sound. Too much is being made of this lunch. Had the escort suggested "maybe we should have lunch with your Mom next time," it would be different.

 

Often, the post is NOT actually about the question asked. You kinda need to read the subtext, and apply your knowledge of the poster, and his previous post to get the full flavor of the issue being presented, then read between the lines. Unsub is a fairly new member here, and just getting experience in the escort world, and may not be as perceptive to certain "unspoken messages" as some other members might be. Yeah, maybe it IS just a lunch invite, but I tend to think NOT !

[rguer]

How thoughtful of him to invite you out to lunch next time! Simply acknowledge the invitation with an affirmative (if you are interested in being seen with him in public), and return promptly to the transaction at hand.

 

"Interested in being seen with him in public"?

 

I have my first-ever appointment with an escort this weekend. I hope it goes well. Assuming he actually shows up (the other thread on no-shows has me a bit spooked about this), we will be out and about in public for a while. I just assume that we will run into everyone I know, and they will come over and say "Who's your friend?" Psyching myself up to deal with that was part of the decision to hire.

 

Suppose someone does see me out somewhere with a little blond twink whose only other thought is about hats (a type that is as scarce as hens' teeth in my circle of friends). They might think it's odd, but I bet it would never occur to them that I'm paying for him.

 

 

http://quotes.yourdictionary.com/hats

[jjkrkwood]

"Interested in being seen with him in public"?

 

I have my first-ever appointment with an escort this weekend. I hope it goes well. Assuming he actually shows up (the other thread on no-shows has me a bit spooked about this), we will be out and about in public for a while. I just assume that we will run into everyone I know, and they will come over and say "Who's your friend?" Psyching myself up to deal with that was part of the decision to hire.

 

Suppose someone does see me out somewhere with a little blond twink whose only other thought is about hats (a type that is as scarce as hens' teeth in my circle of friends). They might think it's odd, but I bet it would never occur to them that I'm paying for him.

 

 

http://quotes.yourdictionary.com/hats

 

I wouldnt worry too much about being seen in public, unless your hire is wearing a nametag with flashing lights that says "Hired escort"...

 

However I am far more intrigued with this ""HAT" fetish thing. Is it a new Trend ???

[KMEM]

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. As is the wont of MBs, any subject of interest invites over analysis. If my banker or attorney invite me to lunch, it is on their nickel and they are professionals that I pay for their time. Of course, I am paying for it in one way or another; likely true of an escort also. If I invite any of those folks to include an escort to lunch, it is on my nickel.

 

And, yes, an escort did invite me and my sister to lunch. We were traveling at the time in FL and that is where my sister lives. He paid.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[jjkrkwood]

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. As is the wont of MBs, any subject of interest invites over analysis. If my banker or attorney invite me to lunch, it is on their nickel and they are professionals that I pay for their time. Of course, I am paying for it in one way or another; likely true of an escort also. If I invite any of those folks to include an escort to lunch, it is on my nickel.

 

And, yes, an escort did invite me and my sister to lunch. We were traveling at the time in FL and that is where my sister lives. He paid.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

 

There is always an exception or aberration to Every occurence. And then there are "norms".... However I do hope you ordered something "pricey" at that lunch ?

[BostonPhil]

Surely, he understands proper etiquette, right? He's a gentleman, and since he offered, it's "off the clock", and his dime for the meal. I invite; I pay. He invites; he pays. But sigh.......you're right to be clear on the arrangement, since some are not schooled in etiquette or manners.

 

I saw this and thought, "Well, Duh!" It is like if I called a client out of the blue and told them to come over for an hour or two, how could I consider charging for that time? It would be pretty dirty for him to expect you to pay for his time or the meal when it was his suggestion.

 

I have a few regular clients that email or text me pretty much daily, I have suggested lunch before. Not even after an appointment, it can get pretty boring during the middle of the day with nothing to do. The response is mostly "I can't really afford..." or a derivation. My response is always "I'm not expecting you to pay at all." The only people I do this with are the ones that I know would not have a problem being seen in public with me.

 

Sometimes a lunch invitation is just that, a simple lunch invitation. I know it is difficult sometimes since we do charge for our time but I think most of us attempt to cultivate as many repeat clients as possible. This may be his way making you come back for more.

 

I do have a question that might seem completely irrelevant, how did you find this guy? Through his ad or through a barely able to operate service?

[BostonPhil]

"Interested in being seen with him in public"?

 

I have my first-ever appointment with an escort this weekend. I hope it goes well. Assuming he actually shows up (the other thread on no-shows has me a bit spooked about this), we will be out and about in public for a while. I just assume that we will run into everyone I know, and they will come over and say "Who's your friend?" Psyching myself up to deal with that was part of the decision to hire.

 

Suppose someone does see me out somewhere with a little blond twink whose only other thought is about hats (a type that is as scarce as hens' teeth in my circle of friends). They might think it's odd, but I bet it would never occur to them that I'm paying for him.

 

 

http://quotes.yourdictionary.com/hats

 

 

If he is any good at all he will be prepared to deal with the eventuality that you will have to introduce him at some point and will already have an acceptable cover story. If you do run into people you know on the street, introduce him by the name you know him by and that he is a friend and let him take it away. If you want to be sure just ask "If we run into friends on the street what should I tell them you do?" Also, if you're going to be seen in public with hi I would suggest he know your real name. Chances are you aren't going to be able to respond to an alias unless you've become accustomed to it. If I am seen out in public with a client I always tell them my real name, clients hearing my real name during a chance run-in with an acquaintance would be bad. Oh the surprised facial expressions. Or.... "I like that so much better than Phil." God, shut up dummy.

 

Anyway, you go this hot piece on your arm, who cares who you run into? Just have a good time.

[unsub2O17]

JJ, you're as subtle as a train wreck! You think that I want to believe that he invited me to lunch because he "really, really likes or is in love" with me, don't you? Honestly, JJ, I don't , and I know that he's not. I do believe that he likes my company, and he has to have lunch anyway, so why not with me. I have, I think, come up with an innovative idea for dealing with the issues which I'll get to in a minute. BP, I found him on M4RN, and he's also on RB. HE recommended Daddy's to me. And I do need to be discrete so I don't think that any kind of public recognition right now would be easy or pleasant to handle and is, therefore, to be avoided. So here's my solution, and, please, you all, tell me what you think of this. There's a fairly fancy French restaurant in town that has its menu online and does a lot of pick-up. I've asked him to pick what he wants from the menu, and I'll pick what I want. Then, I'll pick it up before our next appointment, and we'll eat at his place after our session. How's that?? It deals with the issues of who pays and for what as well as where. And public recognition is not an issue. And we have lunch! If he says "no", no harm no foul. If he says "yes", then everyone's happy. So, again, ala Max, what do you all think?

[jjkrkwood]

JJ, you're as subtle as a train wreck! You think that I want to believe that he invited me to lunch because he "really, really likes or is in love" with me, don't you? Honestly, JJ, I don't , and I know that he's not. I do believe that he likes my company, and he has to have lunch anyway, so why not with me. I have, I think, come up with an innovative idea for dealing with the issues which I'll get to in a minute. BP, I found him on M4RN, and he's also on RB. HE recommended Daddy's to me. And I do need to be discrete so I don't think that any kind of public recognition right now would be easy or pleasant to handle and is, therefore, to be avoided. So here's my solution, and, please, you all, tell me what you think of this. There's a fairly fancy French restaurant in town that has its menu online and does a lot of pick-up. I've asked him to pick what he wants from the menu, and I'll pick what I want. Then, I'll pick it up before our next appointment, and we'll eat at his place after our session. How's that?? It deals with the issues of who pays and for what as well as where. And public recognition is not an issue. And we have lunch! If he says "no", no harm no foul. If he says "yes", then everyone's happy. So, again, ala Max, what do you all think?

 

I think you've got it Unsub, and no trains were wrecked in the process ! :o

 

And as this was such an arduous task, lets just hope he doesnt suggest dinner ! I dont think my heart could stand it . LOLOLOLOLOLOL

[tom1980]

JJ, you're as subtle as a train wreck! You think that I want to believe that he invited me to lunch because he "really, really likes or is in love" with me, don't you? Honestly, JJ, I don't , and I know that he's not. I do believe that he likes my company, and he has to have lunch anyway, so why not with me. I have, I think, come up with an innovative idea for dealing with the issues which I'll get to in a minute. BP, I found him on M4RN, and he's also on RB. HE recommended Daddy's to me. And I do need to be discrete so I don't think that any kind of public recognition right now would be easy or pleasant to handle and is, therefore, to be avoided. So here's my solution, and, please, you all, tell me what you think of this. There's a fairly fancy French restaurant in town that has its menu online and does a lot of pick-up. I've asked him to pick what he wants from the menu, and I'll pick what I want. Then, I'll pick it up before our next appointment, and we'll eat at his place after our session. How's that?? It deals with the issues of who pays and for what as well as where. And public recognition is not an issue. And we have lunch! If he says "no", no harm no foul. If he says "yes", then everyone's happy. So, again, ala Max, what do you all think?

 

I think you should take care to choose something from the menu that will still be good and tasty after sitting for an hour or so. Good luck!

[BostonPhil]

JJ, you're as subtle as a train wreck! You think that I want to believe that he invited me to lunch because he "really, really likes or is in love" with me, don't you? Honestly, JJ, I don't , and I know that he's not. I do believe that he likes my company, and he has to have lunch anyway, so why not with me. I have, I think, come up with an innovative idea for dealing with the issues which I'll get to in a minute. BP, I found him on M4RN, and he's also on RB. HE recommended Daddy's to me. And I do need to be discrete so I don't think that any kind of public recognition right now would be easy or pleasant to handle and is, therefore, to be avoided. So here's my solution, and, please, you all, tell me what you think of this. There's a fairly fancy French restaurant in town that has its menu online and does a lot of pick-up. I've asked him to pick what he wants from the menu, and I'll pick what I want. Then, I'll pick it up before our next appointment, and we'll eat at his place after our session. How's that?? It deals with the issues of who pays and for what as well as where. And public recognition is not an issue. And we have lunch! If he says "no", no harm no foul. If he says "yes", then everyone's happy. So, again, ala Max, what do you all think?

 

That works for me! I found a video of JJ!

 

[video=youtube;9LpCIiwarOk]

[jjkrkwood]

That works for me! I found a video of JJ!

 

[video=youtube;9LpCIiwarOk]

 

Boston, how you always flatter me ! i think i am falling in Love .....