Escorts, do you really love it?

[JoeyBryant]

Do you love the sex? Do you love making your clients feel good? What and why?? I'm guessing that you'll say in some way that it fulfills you. In what way? I'd love to be convinced that my time with an escort is not just money to them, but, as I've said, I'm pretty sure that it is.

 

I have to add that the part that you mentioned is rather 1 aspect of escorting and does not quite cover ALL the aspects.

 

People tend to say, "do you like escorting?" and a person responds. However, if we're going to cover the entire surface of being an escort...we might as well cover all the bases.

 

Escorting is no longer about just sex and clients. That was back in the days where all you needed to do is walk down to the popular streets or call a magazine company and have them do all the ad work for you. In 2012, its about advertising, phone calls, texts, emails, outcalls, travel...just a plethora. A person can like the physical aspects of it, but may not like the business aspect of it. Or vice versa. Some people can like to meet with a client, and do all the business-y things involved, but forget they may have to have sex with them. Hence people who 'offer companionship only'.

 

I personally like many of the aspects of escorting from spending hours, days and even weeks developing and planning ads and marketing. I also like the part of meeting a client in a public setting, sharing drinks or upscale dishes in restaurants I wouldn't be able to afford on my own dime. I also love to be told how hot and sexy I am and how I'm the best experience they've had in a while. I too enjoy providing that experience to them. When they're happy, I'm happy. Not to mention, it takes me to so many places that I wouldn't have been able to do at this point in life. All I have to do is pick a destination, and I get to go there and most times the trip is well and I can come home with something.

 

Escorting also keeps me motivated in the gym. Hell, I didn't even get serious about working out until about 6 months after I entered the industry.

 

However, the part of escorting I do not like are the lulls in business, cancellations, no-shows, and the expenses involved in the business having to pay for ads which to me equals the cost of a new pair of Jordan's every month. I could be buying new shoes every month, but by counting it doesn't seem so. It's been winding up more into the hands of some of these greedy ass webmasters. They don't want to just make 6 figures, they want to be millionaires.

 

I'm a bit conditional about my love for escorting. I'd love it more if I could flip things on and off like a light switch to my liking, but like most sales job you just don't have control of it. Which is why years ago I quit sales, and went into customer service. Now I'm doing both.

[SteveEscort]

I'd love to be convinced that my time with an escort is not just money to them, but, as I've said, I'm pretty sure that it is.

 

I've been doing this work for a long time and if I didn't like it I wouldn't carry on doing it. I love the thrill of seeing new clients and when a regular client books who I know is good in bed I get all excited (sexually) about the meeting beforehand.

 

We'd all be lying if we said that we loved the work all the time because sometimes I really don't look forward to certain clients. If it's a client I consider to be "hard work" I will still usually see them but my heart won't be filled with glee at the thought of the liaison.

 

I've been away for 2 weeks again in Turkey and today is my first day back at work so the first top to book me today is in for one hell of a ride. I am really going to enjoy my first appointment today, no matter who he is.

[jjkrkwood]

Do you think that there's an element of self-deception in all this??

 

 

 

No, neither for me nor the escorts. I believe they are very shrewd business people, great at sizing up a situation and making the best of it. I believe their words are very calculated to accomplish a specific goal. I have absolutely no issue with how they reply to the question, in fact if they replied differently, I would then be suspect. As for me, I have no misconceptions of where the escorts head is when he is engaged by me. He is doing his JOB, and if i come away happy, he has done it sucessfully.

[jgoo]

No, neither for me nor the escorts. I believe they are very shrewd business people, great at sizing up a situation and making the best of it. I believe their words are very calculated to accomplish a specific goal. I have absolutely no issue with how they reply to the question, in fact if they replied differently, I would then be suspect.

 

JJ, Help me understand better your point (and I am not trying to be argumentative, I am just not clear on something and would appreciate understanding better your point). You seem to indicate that if they answer differently then you would be suspect of their reply. But earlier I seem to recall that you indicated you expected certain way to reply (that they love what they do) and it sounded like because of that you didn't think some or many escorts would say something differently, even if they did have a contrary view to their jobs but didn't say that. So it sounds like you don't fully believe what they would say either way. I do understand (at least I think I do) that your main point is that it doesn't matter one bit to you, as long as you get what you pay for (which I happen to be in agreement with).

[jjkrkwood]

JJ, Help me understand better your point (and I am not trying to be argumentative, I am just not clear on something and would appreciate understanding better your point). You seem to indicate that if they answer differently then you would be suspect of their reply. But earlier I seem to recall that you indicated you expected certain way to reply (that they love what they do) and it sounded like because of that you didn't think some or many escorts would say something differently, even if they did have a contrary view to their jobs but didn't say that. So it sounds like you don't fully believe what they would say either way. I do understand (at least I think I do) that your main point is that it doesn't matter one bit to you, as long as you get what you pay for (which I happen to be in agreement with).

 

jgoo - To clear up my comments, I will best say that I really dont care what they think of their job, and it isnt a consideration for me when I hire. They have chosen their work for whatever their reason, and I have chosen to engage them, and for me the bottom line is to get what we agreed on and enjoy myself, and come away happy. Their personal business is really no business of mine as long as we each respect each other during our time together. I hope that clarifies my stance on this ?

[jgoo]

jgoo - To clear up my comments, I will best say that I really dont care what they think of their job, and it isnt a consideration for me when I hire. They have chosen their work for whatever their reason, and I have chosen to engage them, and for me the bottom line is to get what we agreed on and enjoy myself, and come away happy. Their personal business is really no business of mine as long as we each respect each other during our time together. I hope that clarifies my stance on this ?

 

Thanks for the clarification and I appreciate it very much. For whatever it may be worth, I happen to agree with you.

[ragazzolupo]

I've been doing this work for a long time and if I didn't like it I wouldn't carry on doing it. I love the thrill of seeing new clients and when a regular client books who I know is good in bed I get all excited (sexually) about the meeting beforehand.

 

We'd all be lying if we said that we loved the work all the time because sometimes I really don't look forward to certain clients. If it's a client I consider to be "hard work" I will still usually see them but my heart won't be filled with glee at the thought of the liaison.

 

I've been away for 2 weeks again in Turkey and today is my first day back at work so the first top to book me today is in for one hell of a ride. I am really going to enjoy my first appointment today, no matter who he is.

 

Dear Steve, I have had the client's view of Istanbul and Turkey, but could you provide a escort's view of the same. It sounds like you had a good time but ??? no sex??? Maybe you could strat a thread on "Escort visits Istanbul"

[healthguy]

My POV: I hate the word "prostitute" as much as the word "fag." However, I'll try and explain. I believe all of us can prostitute ourselves and our careers in both our personal lives, and the career paths we have chosen. We can also choose to be prostituted in these two areas. If we choose either of these routes; to use people, or be used, then I believe we begin to redefine the definition of respect. Everyone that has shared thoughts about this is going to fall on the scale of not wanting any connection, to a full BF experience. I personally need some kind of connection with any intimate experience. If not, I come out feeling like I just used someone. I have said this b4, but we all breathe the same O2, and have a right to be here. The amount of respect we have for each other is earned. It can be earned in an hour, or a lifetime.

[robberbaron4u]

Have a look at Nicholas Cage's flick "Sonny" (2002).

[Rod Hagen]

How miserable in the soul one must feel to be an escort, or an erotic masseur, who feels that his fee is compensation for enduring being sexual with men who aren't necessarily beautiful rather than a monetary appreciation for making a man feel damn happy. Can you imagine the dread before during and after each and every appointment? If you only sexually desire beautiful men, don't escort (long term), you'll be unhappy and will become greedy.

 

If you can't believe that the good escorts are truly attracted to all sorts of men, who are paid to do what we enjoy, think harder.

[jjkrkwood]

How miserable in the soul one must feel to be an escort, or an erotic masseur, who feels that his fee is compensation for being sexual with men who aren't beautiful rather than a monetary appreciation for making a man feel damn happy. Can you imagine the dread before during and after each and every appointment? If you only sexually desire beautiful men, don't escort (long term), you'll be unhappy and will become greedy.

 

If you can't believe that the good escorts are truly attracted to all sorts of men, who are paid to do what we enjoy, think harder.

 

Rod there is some truth to your words, but lets face it, most of the guys an escort comes across are NOT men they would ever look at under REAL circumstances. I can believe that escorts have varied tastes, but I dont think most of the guys they service fall into that group. If they do, then the escort is one Lucky fella. And as I have said before, it would be a VERY rare thing to have an escort say to a client "this is on the house because I find you attractive and I enjoyed myself just as much as you did"....

 

I also feel in todays economic climate, a greater majority of people are working simply for the paycheck, PERIOD. They dont love their job, might even dread getting up each day to go to work, but you do what you have to do, and yes it is an unfortunate way to have to live. Back in the day, there may have been more alternatives, but not so much now. People are lucky to have a job, any job....

 

And for the record, I also believe physical attraction is the first driving force. Look at the 411 requests on this site. 99% of them are "Anyone have 411 on so-and-so ? He looks HOT !"

 

Noone says he looks friendly, or he looks caring or intelligent. And I doubt they would even ask about him IF he was not attractive. Sure its shallow, but people ARE shallow, and when they pay for a fantasy, they want JUST THAT ! I dont know YOU, so i would never even think you were insincere in what you say, but I also understand your comments are GOOD BUSINESS, and give EVERYBODY hope.

[robberbaron4u]

The "hire breaker" with me has been my disclosure of the hump on my back. . .

[corndog]

jjkirkwood, I think you've made your point clear, over and over and over again. Others here disagree with you. Is it absolutely necessary that you have the last word?

[jjkrkwood]

The "hire breaker" with me has been my disclosure of the hump on my back. . .

 

 

 

But I am sure you have dressed that hump "Fabulously" !

[jjkrkwood]

jjkirkwood, I think you've made your point clear, over and over and over again. Others here disagree with you. Is it absolutely necessary that you have the last word?

 

Corndog. I think its called conversation.? You know where one person says sonmething, and then another responds and so on. Check Wikipedia.... You obviously want me to embrace YOUR opinion and go away. If I agreed with you I am sure you would allow me all the words I wanted. You know, you are able to block my posts if they are so off-putting to you. Try it... Its unfortunate you are not able to endure a difference of opinion. You must do lousy in Debates ?

[tom1980]

Jj -- regarding 411 requests, you are right that physical attraction is what usually causes a client to take interest in a given escort. However, I think many of the 411 requests are posted because the client wants to know if there is something more to the escort. In some cases maybe the poster only wants verification that the pictures are accurate, but in most cases I think the poster wants to know if the escort is friendly, easy to deal with, put on a timer, or otherwise provided good or bad customer service. Physical attraction might be the catalyst for asking the question, but most clients post a 411 message because they want to know that the escort is more than just a hot body. I don't think this is necessarily contradictory to what you said in your post, but I did think it worth noting that physical attraction isn't the only factor or even necessarily the determining factor in whether to hire (even if it does serve as a litmus test of sorts).

[leigh.bess.toad]

I can't speak as an escort (no one is that blind, crazy or desperate), but I do know that the guys I have been with really do get a great deal of satisfaction seeing a client such as myself change and grow. I have now ended my hiring yet I'm still friends with most of them and remain in frequent contact with them. There is no money to be made from future hires. But there is, I am sure, a degree of pride in knowing they have helped someone like me, who has come from so far deep in the closet I couldn't find the door to an out and proud gay man who has found love. And they want to meet my partner. And that process is underway. My escorts have helped me in ways my therapist, doctor and friends never could. They have played a critical role in getting me to where I am now in life. Without them, I would not have been ready for the relationship I have with my partner. They should be proud of what they have done for me.

 

They were my escorts. Now they are my friends. And I am eternally grateful to every single one of them.

[BostonPhil]

Are there days when I don't want to work? You bet!

 

The "hire breaker" with me has been my disclosure of the hump on my back. . .

 

That is unfortunate to hear. I have never turned down a client after disclosure like that. I have turned them down for reasons like I didn't think I could fulfill their expectations or I got a bad vibe from them in some way.

 

For me personally I have never been one to be all about the looks. As in any customer service job, and that is really what this is, we don't have the luxury of disrespecting our clients and we do have to think about our public image when we post here. Yes, I am very careful about what I post and I do re-read it. That doesn't necessarily mean that I am not being truthful but I do think it does speak to the fact that I do enjoy what I do, the people I meet and the sex I get to have.

 

I live modestly with a bunch of roommates. I don't own a car (you're insane to drive in Boston anyway!) I escorted then I tried to work a day job and escort on the side and it just doesn't work well. When I was 18 I turned down a job at a large software company because I knew that it would make me miserable. I took a break from escorting when I thought I needed to grow up and have a "real" job. Turns out that escorting was the real job. I missed the interaction, the excitement and crazy fantastic blow jobs. I cut back at the "real" job only maintaining enough time to qualify for health benefits until I was able to replace them.

 

I have other marketable skills that could get me a job that paid better than escorting or provided me with a consistent pay check and degree of stability. I choose this because it makes me happy.

 

I can say that for all the escorts I have met and been friends with there has always been a lot more to it than just doing it for the money.

 

I can't speak as an escort (no one is that blind, crazy or desperate), but I do know that the guys I have been with really do get a great deal of satisfaction seeing a client such as myself change and grow. I have now ended my hiring yet I'm still friends with most of them and remain in frequent contact with them. There is no money to be made from future hires. But there is, I am sure, a degree of pride in knowing they have helped someone like me, who has come from so far deep in the closet I couldn't find the door to an out and proud gay man who has found love. And they want to meet my partner. And that process is underway. My escorts have helped me in ways my therapist, doctor and friends never could. They have played a critical role in getting me to where I am now in life. Without them, I would not have been ready for the relationship I have with my partner. They should be proud of what they have done for me.

 

They were my escorts. Now they are my friends. And I am eternally grateful to every single one of them.

 

It is always fun and gratifying to see people grow and expand. Perhaps I should word that differently?

[Decatur Guy]

FROM THE CLIENT'S PERSPECTIVE: I really see and somehow agree with both PsOV on this at the same time.

 

Here's one question that does gnaw at me sometimes: "Did escort find me desirable at all? Or was it all a show?"

 

The reason I ask that (mostly to myself and mostly rhetorical) is that for more than two years now, I've been hiring guys rather regularly, and I get almost zero personal feedback from them. Nothing. Nothing about the conversation, nothing about the sex, nothing about me. They say nothing to me to make me feel distinctive in any way ... I give a lot of feedback, on the sex, their personality, their looks. But so far, it's been very one-sided. What little I do get is from direct prodding. It's rarely initiated by the escort.

 

Now the sex is good or I would not be going back. Most of the time, they seem to like the sex. I hire repeats, so I know I can only be so onerous or they wouldn't connect multiple time. But geez, once in awhile, it would be nice to hear:

 

"You're a pretty good fuck!" or "Thanks for being on time and respecting my time" or "You have a nice dick" or "You give great head" or "I like your salt and pepper hair" or "You have a great accent" or "You're a great kisser" ... I'm not quite sure why it doesn't occur to escorts -- or at least the ones I hire -- to say those kinds of things. Now I don't want to hear that if it's completely insincere (that's much worse than saying nothing at all), but surely there must be something positive to say to me, the client, that's true. I don't need to be showered with constant praise -- I'm not wallowing in a lack of confidence. Perhaps I come off as very confident and they think I don't need to hear things like that, but it would be nice.

 

When you rarely or never get any feedback like that, then you start to wonder: Did he even like that? Geez, maybe he hates his job ... Geez, he'd never give me the time of day without the money ... Geez, perhaps they all feel that way given I've hired more than a dozen guys and they are all that way ...

 

That's where the thoughts of the OP and mine sometimes converge. Just giving you escorts some of idea of why we might wonder about these things.

[LouieD]

You pose an interesting, thoughtful question.

 

I, too, rarely receive feedback (it would be nice) and would be interested to hear what others (especially escorts) have to say about this.

 

When an escort rushes, clock-watches or ends early, I really feel he is in it only in for the money.

[Juan Vancouver]

When an escort rushes, clock-watches or ends early, I really feel he is in it only in for the money.

 

When an escort behaves like this, and when he offers absolutely no positive feedback in any way, it would be of great help to write a review saying precisely that.

 

There are plenty of reviews of many escorts all over the place who have behaved in such a way that their clients started seeing the many ways in which they are special. There are plenty of reviews of escorts who left their clients feeling better about themselves. There are many reviews that elaborately mention the escort's ability to make his client feel good about himself.

 

There are tons of reviews of escorts that are incredibly hot, endless reviews in which the escort showed the many ways in which the escort was hot.

 

Those are two entirely different experiences.

 

My guess would be that maybe you are hiring the wrong type of escorts?

 

My only other guess is that it is possible that your escorts are sharing the aspects of you that they really enjoy and you are failing to hear it, maybe because you don't believe them or because you are used to politely discount any kind of flattery. It happens all the time.

 

It looks as if there is room to make this situation more pleasurable... There's always more fun to be had! =)

 

Big hug.

[bigvalboy]

You pose an interesting, thoughtful question.

 

I, too, rarely receive feedback (it would be nice) and would be interested to hear what others (especially escorts) have to say about this.

 

When an escort rushes, clock-watches or ends early, I really feel he is in it only in for the money.

 

Gentlemen, It has taken me a bit of time to put in my 2 cents. Some members here have accused me of some rather ugly things, so this is a discussion I was tempted to stay out of. But in the end this forum is about sharing information and learning, so I will say this, that not getting feedback has not always been my experience. Sometimes little is said after the session, but that is usually when I didn't have a good time. I have often gotten compliments during or after we are finished, or nice emails the next day. Not sure I have an answer as to why. I do rarely hire the same escort twice. I am about to this weekend, but it is rare. If you are hiring the same escort repeatedly, perhaps it is just understood that everyone involved had a good time.

 

I do approach each hire with a really positive attitude and rarely have any preconceived ideas of what I think will or will not happen. I will never ask or insist that the escort do something that they are not comfortable with. I am probably as concerned about them enjoying themselves as myself having a good time. I have blown it a few times (no pun intended) and hired only a top, when I do not bottom at all. I still go through with the session with a sense of humor and just do what needs to be done.

 

If an escort and I don't click, then I just go home and chalk it up to a lesson learned. I certainly do not stress about it. Not everyone is going to have a good connection. You can't let things like that ruin your day. In the grand scheme of things this is only a small part of life....ok I am starting to ramble here so I guess I will end this... Good luck!!

[healthguy]

I need to side with DG on this one. In fact, I asked the question a while back, "Why don't escorts ever review a client?" I was speaking after a good review. Not just randomly. DG gives me pause again to think from the escorts POV, it's mostly a job.

[BostonPhil]

I need to side with DG on this one. In fact, I asked the question a while back, "Why don't escorts ever review a client?" I was speaking after a good review. Not just randomly. DG gives me pause again to think from the escorts POV, it's mostly a job.

 

Your post likely didn't get much response because it is a VERY touchy subject. See Here!

[healthguy]

BP, thanks for the route to the prior posts:

Perhaps just word to escorts then. Although I really value sincerity, and I would want an escort to be honest; a simple, "I had a good time too." could prove very beneficial on both ends. No pun intended.