Escorts, do you really love it?

[Decatur Guy]

BP, thanks for the route to the prior posts:

Perhaps just word to escorts then. Although I really value sincerity, and I would want an escort to be honest; a simple, "I had a good time too." could prove very beneficial on both ends. No pun intended.

 

I agree. Unless it's simply not true. Most people can see through even a well-meaning but insincere compliment. But geez -- if there is something positive to remark upon -- do it. I'm not riddle with insecurities, but neither am I bursting with so much confidence that such comments wouldn't be noted and appreciated, especially if pro-actively offered.

 

I get them from nonescort sex partners sometimes. Seems like the pros would know how too!

[jjkrkwood]

I can't speak as an escort (no one is that blind, crazy or desperate), but I do know that the guys I have been with really do get a great deal of satisfaction seeing a client such as myself change and grow. I have now ended my hiring yet I'm still friends with most of them and remain in frequent contact with them. There is no money to be made from future hires. But there is, I am sure, a degree of pride in knowing they have helped someone like me, who has come from so far deep in the closet I couldn't find the door to an out and proud gay man who has found love. And they want to meet my partner. And that process is underway. My escorts have helped me in ways my therapist, doctor and friends never could. They have played a critical role in getting me to where I am now in life. Without them, I would not have been ready for the relationship I have with my partner. They should be proud of what they have done for me.

 

They were my escorts. Now they are my friends. And I am eternally grateful to every single one of them.

 

Leigh, escorts may have helped you along the way, but the accomplishment is really ALL yours, owed to the strenght of your committment to make YOURSELF happy. While I am sure you are sincere is your beliefs and debt of gratitude to your escorts, you really give them too much credit and underestimate the power of self-will and determination.

 

I applaud your journey, and am happy you have settled so comfortably into your new life.

[jjkrkwood]

FROM THE CLIENT'S PERSPECTIVE: I really see and somehow agree with both PsOV on this at the same time.

 

Here's one question that does gnaw at me sometimes: "Did escort find me desirable at all? Or was it all a show?"

 

The reason I ask that (mostly to myself and mostly rhetorical) is that for more than two years now, I've been hiring guys rather regularly, and I get almost zero personal feedback from them. Nothing. Nothing about the conversation, nothing about the sex, nothing about me. They say nothing to me to make me feel distinctive in any way ... I give a lot of feedback, on the sex, their personality, their looks. But so far, it's been very one-sided. What little I do get is from direct prodding. It's rarely initiated by the escort.

 

Now the sex is good or I would not be going back. Most of the time, they seem to like the sex. I hire repeats, so I know I can only be so onerous or they wouldn't connect multiple time. But geez, once in awhile, it would be nice to hear:

 

"You're a pretty good fuck!" or "Thanks for being on time and respecting my time" or "You have a nice dick" or "You give great head" or "I like your salt and pepper hair" or "You have a great accent" or "You're a great kisser" ... I'm not quite sure why it doesn't occur to escorts -- or at least the ones I hire -- to say those kinds of things. Now I don't want to hear that if it's completely insincere (that's much worse than saying nothing at all), but surely there must be something positive to say to me, the client, that's true. I don't need to be showered with constant praise -- I'm not wallowing in a lack of confidence. Perhaps I come off as very confident and they think I don't need to hear things like that, but it would be nice.

 

When you rarely or never get any feedback like that, then you start to wonder: Did he even like that? Geez, maybe he hates his job ... Geez, he'd never give me the time of day without the money ... Geez, perhaps they all feel that way given I've hired more than a dozen guys and they are all that way ...

 

That's where the thoughts of the OP and mine sometimes converge. Just giving you escorts some of idea of why we might wonder about these things.

 

While good customer service is always beneficial, I WILL here SUPPORT the escorts lack of feedback as a safety mechanism. They really dont KNOW the client, even after repeat performances, and clients "could" have a weakness that would enable them to become enamoured or attached to their escort if they interpreted his "polite" comments as something more. I definitely get it !

[jjkrkwood]

I need to side with DG on this one. In fact, I asked the question a while back, "Why don't escorts ever review a client?" I was speaking after a good review. Not just randomly. DG gives me pause again to think from the escorts POV, it's mostly a job.

 

Escorts reviewing clients could be "the kiss if death" regardless of the review, good or bad.

[Decatur Guy]

While good customer service is always beneficial, I WILL here SUPPORT the escorts lack of feedback as a safety mechanism. They really dont KNOW the client, even after repeat performances, and clients "could" have a weakness that would enable them to become enamoured or attached to their escort if they interpreted his "polite" comments as something more. I definitely get it !

 

I had never thought of that, but I see what you're saying. It wouldn't be a danger with me, but they wouldn't have a way of knowing that. At least not at first.