Meeting potential hire over coffee, Are you expected to compensate escort?

[KMEM]

I once asked an escort to have dinner with me because I thought his web site was witty. I thought we would enjoy a conversation and I was in his part of the world. He really wasn't my type. He replied for $100 (time is money) he would have dinner but if we ended up in my hotel room it would be at regular rates. I took it in the spirit I think he intended but thought I could find someone to talk to for less than $100. So, I thanked him for answering my email.

 

This was a long time ago when $100 was still worth $50.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[jjkrkwood]

I'm not sure what the point of meeting for coffee is. The deciding factor is whether or not there is good chemistry in bed. If so, hire him if he floats your book and looks presentable. I don't think talking about the trip over croissants would help. Plus, to echo other comments, i would never consider inviting anyone on such a lengthy trip that I wasn't planning on having fun with or have already some established sexual history. Sounds like to me, the OP was looking for a free consult (esp after 10 email exchanges).

 

Well I guess a guy can tell if those sparks fly IF he meets you face-to-face, but I would speculate this is more about curiosity and getting something for FREE.... Its sorta like hooking up with an escort but without the expense. And it probably gets them off ?

[bigvalboy]

A few other threads that TopAsian99 started provide some interesting context.

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?38460-fee-for-time (I think some of the people responding may have misunderstood what he was getting at.)

http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?67629-what-is-fair

 

Actually FF the escort in question has responded here. He comes by way of friends on this board with a stellar reputation. I am siding with the escort on this one. I think it is clear what the OP was getting at, and after listening to both sides, and there is always two sides to a story, I feel that the escort did absolutely nothing wrong. IMO of course.

[+ FreshFluff]

BigVal, I agree with you. That's why I posted the threads started by TopAsian99 in other situations. I think they say something about how he deals with escorts. But I wanted to let people come to their own conclusions about that.

 

Actually FF the escort in question has responded here. He comes by way of friends on this board with a stellar reputation. I am siding with the escort on this one. I think it is clear what the OP was getting at, and after listening to both sides, and there is always two sides to a story, I feel that the escort did absolutely nothing wrong. IMO of course.

[down_to_business]

Well it seems like we are up to 80%+ of escorts now either using somone elses pictures or pictures of themselves that are 5 or more years old and out of date, is it any wonder that someone might want to actually see an escort before hiring them? Maybe one of these advertising sites will start some verified photos policy (like making the escort submit a picture holding today's newspaper) so we can stop this insanity of false advertising.

 

As to whether or not escorts should meet clients off the clock for coffee, I will let the market decide that one. As for now, it doesn't seem like they will have to do that or that it is the industry norm. I will note that many other entertainers must 'audition' off the clock. I am not trying to say escorts should have to, but I don't see famous movie stars or singers or actors complaining that they have to audition for a role off the clock (on their own time).

[Guest joeburger]

topasian99, if you expect this meeting to be free...........what else do you expect to be free??? for multi-hour and trips you should have a full understanding of cost so there are no surprises for either party.

[TruthBTold]

How about this situation? I am going to get together with an out-of-town escort that I have not seen before. Our get-together was negotiated easily thru emails. He is staying in a hotel near to where I live. The end of our session will be a little later in the evening. There is a nice Italian restaurant that is between the hotel he is staying at and where I live. I thought of asking him to go to dinner because I thought he might want to go out to dinner in a city that he has not been in before (or so he said). Of course, that may be a very naive view, and he actually may be on his way to an escort orgy. Who knows! Is this a payment for escort time or does he pay for my time?

[bigvalboy]

Is this a payment for escort time or does he pay for my time?

 

 

TBT,

 

LOL...Not sure why I am not totally understanding this question, but then again I've been sippin on the Gin. SOOO my take on this is, dinner is never included in escort time. It is something that is above and beyond hire time, UNLESS of course it is a weekend thing. For example, if I hire for two hours and also invite the escort to dinner, dinner in my opinion is NOT part of the two hours, and I always make that VERY clear. How did I do??? LOL

[TruthBTold]

BigValBoy, no, you undertood it and thanks for answering it. I guess I did not want to NOT invite him because I could not afford the 6 hours that sex plus dinner would entail as opposed to what the sex that is now scheduled will cost. I did not want it to become something weird and awkward. Like at the end of the meal, would the waiter bring two checks - one for lasagna and cannoli and another for the 3 hours I spent with the escort? So, it appears that if during shower time I casually say, "Oh, I was going to get some dinner down the street, would you like to come," I should assume that he knows that the dinner is non-escort time (tho I would pick up the dinner tab - just as I probably would any other really handsome and built out-of-town visitor). P.S. I was sipping on Gin, too.

[Juan Vancouver]

So, it appears that if during shower time I casually say, "Oh, I was going to get some dinner down the street, would you like to come," I should assume that he knows that the dinner is non-escort time (tho I would pick up the dinner tab.

 

I would advise to never, under any circumstance assume anything. If you want to buy him dinner off the clock, tell him precisely that and let him make his own choice.

 

This is the only way in which you can know you did all that you could to make sure there are no odd moments nor hurt feelings.

[bigvalboy]

BigValBoy, no, you understood it and thanks for answering it. I guess I did not want to NOT invite him because I could not afford the 6 hours that sex plus dinner would entail as opposed to what the sex that is now scheduled will cost. I did not want it to become something weird and awkward. Like at the end of the meal, would the waiter bring two checks - one for lasagna and cannoli and another for the 3 hours I spent with the escort? So, it appears that if during shower time I casually say, "Oh, I was going to get some dinner down the street, would you like to come," I should assume that he knows that the dinner is non-escort time (tho I would pick up the dinner tab - just as I probably would any other really handsome and built out-of-town visitor). P.S. I was sipping on Gin, too.

 

Ok I am really tipsy now, but Juan is right NEVER assume anything. I have actually done it both ways. The first is through emails, I will say something like "I would like to do a two hour with you, but maybe dinner first, so let's do dinner first, at say around 6:30 or so, and then start the session at say 8 pm, that would take us till 10 pm, is that ok with you". Be very clear and make sure he understands that the dinner will not be part of the paid session. The other way is how you mentioned, something to the effect when you are finished and showering, you could mention, "Hey I am a little hungry, can I buy you dinner off the clock" that way he knows that your buying dinner, but NOT additional time.

 

I love to buy escorts dinner, it is always a nice experience, but you have to set the parameters and be VERY clear and make sure they understand also...Hope this helped!!

[TruthBTold]

Thanks, it did very much. Even putting that aside, being who he is and the town it is (not my home town), I am sure that he has something scheduled after me. But I will not ass-u-me even that. Have a great weekend.

[SteveEscort]

I made contact with a well reviewed escort about the possibilities of a multihour hire, also possibly a future trip abroad. He seemed eager and enthusiastic with the idea. I then wrote and inquire about a possible coffee get together to brainstorm our plan,nail down the scene and get acquainted. He then proceeded to inform me that it would cost me to have this coffee meeting.

 

Like to get a sense what the board thinks. Is this normal or am I too naive to assume that taking time to discuss business over coffee should be part of the routine leading to the actual hire, and it should not involve $. Inquisitive mind wants to know!

 

If you've never met before then yes, at the end of the day you might not hire and he could have lost out on an hour's appointment for the coffee meet. If you booked time with a solicitor to chat about your divorce over coffee, would you expect him to allow you free time and would you do that in your own line of work. By coming out and meeting you he's revealed who he is and at the end of the day, you could be anyone in the world wanting to meet for free to gain information. Us working boys have to be so careful at times.

 

I remember years ago meeting a guy who ran a plumbing company and I charged him £100 for the hour and £90 for the second hour to visit him miles and miles away in the country. He asked (whilst there) if we could make it 4 hours for £300 which I agreed to but then, in passing, I asked what he charged his customers. He said a callout fee of £120 for emergencies and £50 per hour flat fee after that. I said ok so if my water tank was leaking and it took 6 hours, could I just pay £300 and have the call out fee waived. He said "It doesn't really work like that Steve". Ok......... so why was it expected of me. I didn't push the issue but he knew exactly what I meant.

[cany10011]

Great analogy Steve I'm sure the plumber learned a lot about unclogging different types of drains from you!

 

 

 

If you've never met before then yes, at the end of the day you might not hire and he could have lost out on an hour's appointment for the coffee meet. If you booked time with a solicitor to chat about your divorce over coffee, would you expect him to allow you free time and would you do that in your own line of work. By coming out and meeting you he's revealed who he is and at the end of the day, you could be anyone in the world wanting to meet for free to gain information. Us working boys have to be so careful at times.

 

I remember years ago meeting a guy who ran a plumbing company and I charged him £100 for the hour and £90 for the second hour to visit him miles and miles away in the country. He asked (whilst there) if we could make it 4 hours for £300 which I agreed to but then, in passing, I asked what he charged his customers. He said a callout fee of £120 for emergencies and £50 per hour flat fee after that. I said ok so if my water tank was leaking and it took 6 hours, could I just pay £300 and have the call out fee waived. He said "It doesn't really work like that Steve". Ok......... so why was it expected of me. I didn't push the issue but he knew exactly what I meant.

[citylaw1]

Come on now, so you're saying you'd base whether you'd take a guy to ancient Greece or the Islands of Seychelles over how well 1 coffee date went?

 

I've actually done just that. We met for a beer in NY, chatted for a bit and I made a decision. I prefer to meet new guys for trips and encounters rather than the same guys over and over, and it's expensive to "interview" repeatedly. At the end of the day you are simply eating, drinking and fucking on vacation, so I rarely worry too much outside of security issues and physical attraction when it comes to this . In this case I paid the escort for his time, and he agreed to credit that payment towards his fee for our trip. This seemed like excellent client service to me.

 

I would never expect an escort that I've never met (or one that I have really) to meet for a coffee free of charge. I also suspect than any escort that receives such a request would assume that the client was a fraud, broke, weirdo, lonely and broke, or some combination.

 

I often meet an escort for dinner in Fort Lauderdale. When we only do dinner, I don't pay a fee, only for dinner. I have seen him multiple times however, including a trip to Hawaii and him traveling to NY twice, so there is a difference here. I suppose when I got drunk and purchased him Gucci water slippers, and a custom suit from the Four Seasons shops, I established some future leeway .. lol.

[scottspearsxxx]

I made contact with a well reviewed escort about the possibilities of a multihour hire, also possibly a future trip abroad. He seemed eager and enthusiastic with the idea. I then wrote and inquire about a possible coffee get together to brainstorm our plan,nail down the scene and get acquainted. He then proceeded to inform me that it would cost me to have this coffee meeting.

 

Like to get a sense what the board thinks. Is this normal or am I too naive to assume that taking time to discuss business over coffee should be part of the routine leading to the actual hire, and it should not involve $. Inquisitive mind wants to know!

 

Yes. If you are meeting in person it is considered an appointment.