The Right to Judge... a.k.a. American Idol Effect

[ErieBear]

I have noticed in the last ten years or so, that in American culture, we have assumed that we have a right to judge EVERYTHING. We allow ourselves to spend hours upon hours arguing over the minutiae of life, trying to convince everyone that we are right and the other is wrong. Not only that, but we feel like we have a burden to convince everyone around us that we are right. And somehow or another, this has permeated into all areas of life, including political, sports, style, and even which contestant we should vote for on a "reality" show.

 

Has anyone else noticed this? And how do we back off from it? When will we realize that a lot of this shit just doesn't matter to anyone.

[adriano46]

I have noticed it - more perhaps because I live more overseas than in the US, although American - and it is a disturbing trend.

 

While such "celebrity reality shows" are not unique to the U.S. (either we copy theirs, or they copy ours), the spread of these almost instantaneous judgement shows (American Idol, X-Factor, the Voice, Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance etc.. and then some that ar absolutely more seemy, such as Bridezilla and that ilk) seem to promote the idea (or ideal??) that we are ALL not only in a position to judge and be judgemental, but we have a right to it.

 

Before some jump on me, I personally do enjoy half of the shows mentioned above in the first part -- enjoy the comments of judges and those of others, but have very serious reservations of shows that tell us to call or text in our votes (even multiple times) which turn it from a talent show to a "who-can-get-the-most-votes show, which often overlooks or even punishes real honest talent. And what to of an audience that is only a few historical centuries away from the bloodthirsty crowds in Roman ampitheatres watching gladiators slg it out until no one is left standing, in a hysteria of bloodlust -- and people today reveling in the emotional breakdown, ruination, destruction of someone very much in the public eye?

 

How do we back off? Good question. How about some people get off the couch and get a life outside, something that turns them from judgemental to being empathetic, sympathetic, caring about the feelings of another, the trials and challenges another person faces (that, but for some stroke of luck, I do not face). For instance, when a close friend confides he/she has been diagnosed with terminal cancer? When an acquaintance - in partial shame - confides in you that both of them (husband/wife;husband/husband) are unemployed and are unable to pay fees that are essential and may face foreclosure? What of a friend who has been laid off and given his/her age, finding a job will be more difficult, if not impossible? What of the friend who tells you their son or daughter has been arrested for substance abuse?

 

When it is no longer some celebrity I do not personally know (and let's admit i, how often do we get caught in the unseemly frenzy of national mourning for someone we never met, probably hardly ever paid attention to, who dies, and for the rest of the weekend -- like this one -- it becomes THE national headline story as "we" mourn this person we do not even know. I mean, the disgrace of the major TV networks (just for ratings) televising the LIVE funeral of Whitney Houston???? Oh, am I now being judgemental? Perhaps.

 

We will realize that "a lot of this shit just doesn't matter to anyone" when it really does not matter to ME, and my time and energy is spent in caring about those who do matter to me.

[Guest countryboywny]

We will realize that "a lot of this shit just doesn't matter to anyone" when it really does not matter to ME, and my time and energy is spent in caring about those who do matter to me.

 

Beautifully written, Adriano.

[josephga]

I have a saying.. Just because your opinion is different than mine doesn't mean that I am wrong.

I use to say that line to my mother allot lol

[jgoo]

There is certainly a distinction between having and expressing opinions on things that we consider important vs. taking those opinions to the point of preaching to others and/or not being open to consider other points of view. When calm, respectful and logical discussions by people who disagree can't take place then it becomes a problem.

 

One of my own biggest faults in the past has been making judgments about others....mostly family, friends, coworkers and acquaintances. I still struggle with that as I tend to constantly judge others based on my own morals and beliefs. Is that necessarily a bad thing? I am not sure and that is where I struggle with this.

[+ purplekow]

The American Idol Effect is one choice, I would have chosen the more dated "Seinfeld Effect". The characters on that beloved show were nasty and judgmental and their interactions with others were frequently based on the possession of "man hands" being a "soft talker" or being a "close talker".

[devonhunter]

Turn off your television.

[Phil_musc]

Amen, devon! I amy well be the only poster on this board that has never seen the shows in question. Reading adriano's post makes me think I have been lucky in avoiding wasting my time with this nonsense. People, get a life and turn off the TV. Instead of passively watching, get up, get out and do.

 

An aside to joseph - there is also the possibility that you both were wrong;-)

[whipped guy]

Devon and Phil.... and I am more than a few others... add another who has never seen one of those stupid shows... and proud of it... even though I feel I am wasting good money with my cable bill. The "downside" is that I often I feel totally left out of some conversations regarding the reigning idols of the day... but heck I have other and more rewarding things to do with my time... Still, there are so many people out there who feel that they have to behave in a certain way, do certain things, and follow the brain-dead masses so that they will fit in. I have never subscribed to that theory. Heck.. even here I probably march to the beat of a slightly different drummer...

[Bosguy]

I have seen our social world of interracting with each other change from conversations and discussions to a world of talkers with no listeners because everyone is always right and has to have center stage. We learn by listening to others and we seem to be trying to mold everyone into total agreement modules. Sad butI 'm going to continue to enjoy many types of people and be a contributor to discussions and learn from the wisdom and errors of others. (including myself)

 

Boston Bill

[bigvalboy]

Wow, this is a tough crowd. LOL While I have never seen one of those shows myself, I know others who do. I feel WG that my cable bill is a complete waste of money sometimes also. In the end, to those that have been so quick to pass judgment, it all sounds a bit elitist to me. They are good and decent people who contribute time and energy and give greatly of themselves, unselfishly for the greater good of society as a whole. Not everyone enjoys being out and interacting with others in deep conversation about the state of the world. They enjoy these shows tremendously, and while I am unable to discuss them, I do find it fun to listen to others talk in great detail about every character. I am certainly not one to judge them on that alone.

 

I have a dear friend who went to Thailand to help after the Tsunami, spent several months there helping on his dime. He just returned from Japan in the same capacity, again spent thousands of dollars out of his own pocket, and brought back two dogs to adopt that had become homeless, but when I see him, he can tell you every character on 'Jersey Shore' I don't dare judge or criticize a human being like that. You can't possibly get out and do more for others than that act of generosity. Or my cousin who just returned from Ghana, setting up schools in small villages. When she returned home, 'Dancing with the Stars' was the first show she had to catch up on. Asked me all about it, I had to laugh, I knew nothing. I know I am going to get an ear full from you guys on this, LOL so I will remain silent going forward. I just had to say my peace, and defend my friends... Best to all for now, BVB

[whipped guy]

In the end your judgment of them sounds a bit elitist to me.

Sorry if it came across a being elitist... but being an elitist is really not my style... I simply have no interest in following the masses. I do what I like and how I how I like to do it and feel no obligation to march in-step with the rest of the world if something does not interest me. Actually, I have been looked down upon by so-called elitist individuals for not realizing what is best. But why should I be forced to drink merlot just because it is the "in" wine du jour, when I infinitely prefer white zinfandel... the wine for people who know nothing about wine? Elitism is the furthest thing from my mind. Perhaps I should have said in my post the in lieu of watching those "stupid shows" I partake in different stupid activities.

 

Also for the record, I did not watch any of the Whitney Houston coverage, The Grammies, and won't watch the Academy Awards either... simply no interest.

 

In all fairness I have been told that my persona does come across as being somewhat supercilious... so give it no thought.

[Lookin]

So let me get this straight.

 

I think judgmental people are awful. So that makes me judgmental. Therefore I am awful.

 

I also don't like hypocrites. But judging the judgmental makes me a hypocrite. Therefore I don't like myself.

 

Which means I'm an awful self-loathing judgmental hypocrite who comes on the Forum telling other folks how to behave.

 

OK. I can live with that. http://www.maleescortreview.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

[+ Charlie]

I don't think we are more judgmental than we used to be, we're just more comfortable being open about it. People used to make the same judgmental comments within their own homogeneous groups of associates and friends, and now we lay it out for everyone to see. I think the primary change agent has been the electronic media, in which we can showcase our opinions without having to personally face those whom we judge. On sites like this, we can even be anonymous, so I can tell whipped guy that he has appalling taste in wine, without worrying that if we encounter one another at the bar during a Met intermission, he'll recognize me and throw a glass of white zinfandel in my face. (Actually, I like white zinfandel with certain dishes, but I would never admit it openly, because my oenophile friends would judge me harshly.)

[bigvalboy]

I don't think we are more judgmental than we used to be, we're just more comfortable being open about it. People used to make the same judgmental comments within their own homogeneous groups of associates and friends, and now we lay it out for everyone to see. I think the primary change agent has been the electronic media, in which we can showcase our opinions without having to personally face those whom we judge. On sites like this, we can even be anonymous, so I can tell whipped guy that he has appalling taste in wine, without worrying that if we encounter one another at the bar during a Met intermission, he'll recognize me and throw a glass of white zinfandel in my face. (Actually, I like white zinfandel with certain dishes, but I would never admit it openly, because my oenophile friends would judge me harshly.)

 

I know I promised to be silent, but one last point. It wasn't so much that members were judging, we all are judgmental on some level, but rather the sweeping generalizations in regards to people who watch reality shows that bothered me.

[Phil_musc]

Touche, Lookin! I loved your reasoning!

 

"it all sounds a bit elitist to me. They are good and decent people who contribute time and energy and give greatly of themselves, unselfishly for the greater good of society as a whole. Not everyone enjoys being out and interacting with others in deep conversation about the state of the world. They enjoy these shows tremendously, and while I am unable to discuss them, I do find it fun to listen to others talk in great detail about every character. I am certainly not one to judge them on that alone."

 

I have several thoughts here - first, what's wrong with being elitist? That is simply the so-called populist claiming superiority because more folks share their own (possibly less sophisticated) views. I don't consider myself an elitist but I don't think I'd be ashamed if others threw that barb at me. Second, who are these decent people mentioned in the quote? The performers on the shows (huh?) or the viewers? Maybe they are (all) decent, but that's not really the point here, IMHO. I see a diminishing cultural scene in our country all the time. In my lifetime, on network television, you could watch Leonard Bernstein leading the New York Philharmonic. Not on PBS, mind you; but on regular network tv. Now you can hardly watch something of that level even on PBS. There has been a total abdication of taste-making and raising of the cultural climate in favor of what makes a network a buck. People generally are not very ambitious or adventuresome when it comes to how they structure their leisure time. Naturally, the least demanding material finds the widest audience and that is what we all are forced to accept as popular culture (an oxymoron of terms if ever there was one). In a country where we vote away the rights of others and the majority rules, is it any wonder that this is what we are left with? BVB, I'm impressed with your friends who have given so generously of their time and talents. They must be tremendous people, but I find it somewhat sad that they would have such mundane interests for what is currently popular. Please, no offense is meant and I'm not being judgmental (well at least not too much so), but if it is a toss up between watching Dancing With the Stars or watching New York City Ballet perform Rite of Spring - well I, for one, don't see these as equally meritorious. The sadder thing is that my hypothesis is not really an option - when was the last time such a thing as Rite of Spring was even on TV?

[bigvalboy]

Touche, Lookin! I loved your reasoning!

 

"it all sounds a bit elitist to me. They are good and decent people who contribute time and energy and give greatly of themselves, unselfishly for the greater good of society as a whole. Not everyone enjoys being out and interacting with others in deep conversation about the state of the world. They enjoy these shows tremendously, and while I am unable to discuss them, I do find it fun to listen to others talk in great detail about every character. I am certainly not one to judge them on that alone."

 

I have several thoughts here - first, what's wrong with being elitist? That is simply the so-called populist claiming superiority because more folks share their own (possibly less sophisticated) views. I don't consider myself an elitist but I don't think I'd be ashamed if others threw that barb at me. Second, who are these decent people mentioned in the quote? The performers on the shows (huh?) or the viewers? Maybe they are (all) decent, but that's not really the point here, IMHO. I see a diminishing cultural scene in our country all the time. In my lifetime, on network television, you could watch Leonard Bernstein leading the New York Philharmonic. Not on PBS, mind you; but on regular network tv. Now you can hardly watch something of that level even on PBS. There has been a total abdication of taste-making and raising of the cultural climate in favor of what makes a network a buck. People generally are not very ambitious or adventuresome when it comes to how they structure their leisure time. Naturally, the least demanding material finds the widest audience and that is what we all are forced to accept as popular culture (an oxymoron of terms if ever there was one). In a country where we vote away the rights of others and the majority rules, is it any wonder that this is what we are left with? BVB, I'm impressed with your friends who have given so generously of their time and talents. They must be tremendous people, but I find it somewhat sad that they would have such mundane interests for what is currently popular. Please, no offense is meant and I'm not being judgmental (well at least not too much so), but if it is a toss up between watching Dancing With the Stars or watching New York City Ballet perform Rite of Spring - well I, for one, don't see these as equally meritorious. The sadder thing is that my hypothesis is not really an option - when was the last time such a thing as Rite of Spring was even on TV?

 

Nice....

[raulgmanzo]

Judging groups is different than judging individuals either blindly (which seems silly) or with great inter-personal and specific knowledge.

 

Is it sad that a specific (yet unknown to me) person likes whatever reality show? NO. We all have some non-intellectual pursuits. Plus how do we know whether one enjoys whatever show on a highly intellectual or culturally redeeming (whatever that means) basis? It's tough to guess without knowing the individual.

 

Is someone trashy for watching a trashy show in which his child has a role?

What if one was fascinated with some particular cinematic, technological or political aspect of the show?

 

If a person just really enjoys it then more power to them. Even though I don't watch television I do "waste" loads (heh!) of time masturbating, reading and posting on these forums, and sometimes even just staring at the ceiling. Oh and I just watched (and enjoyed) that lo-rez wrestling clip on youtube. So who am I to judge.

 

Yet I still think it sad that so many watch so much television and sad that lots of local art/music, culturally significant (to me!) programs, and wholesome activities are falling by the wayside in favor of nationally televised seemingly dumbed down shows.

 

But I probably shouldn't have an opinion about individuals who I don't know.

Like speeding or littering. Too many people IMHO do it. But a specific person doing it may for all I know be an secret agent enroute to save the world. Or some occasional action on the part of an individual who is overall WAY better/more careful than I. Maybe the litter blew out of the trash can.

 

But I draw the line at drinking white zinfandel.

Just kidding.

 

...Perhaps if all of us learned to turn off the TV occasionally...

[ErieBear]

I have seen our social world of interracting with each other change from conversations and discussions to a world of talkers with no listeners because everyone is always right and has to have center stage. We learn by listening to others and we seem to be trying to mold everyone into total agreement modules. Sad butI 'm going to continue to enjoy many types of people and be a contributor to discussions and learn from the wisdom and errors of others. (including myself)

 

Boston Bill

 

I guess that this is part of what what I'm talking about. We argue about the littlest of things and instead of simply say, "That doesn't matter. It's okay if they don't agree." We say, "I'm right and I have to prove my rightness to anyone who comes into my realm of being."

 

I've actually have been weeding out of my life all those things that cause dissension and discord, including political and religious conversations, people with attitudes, and negative websites. And yet, I continue to run into people that are bound and determined to prove to me that I'm wrong about the simplest of things that make no difference to anyone. And, in observing this phenomena, I thought I'd remark on it here and get others thinking about it as well...

[bigvalboy]

Raul, I sent you a pm...

[maxwellissmart]

he can tell you every character on 'Jersey Shore'...

 

I couldn't care less what people watch on television—it's meant to be an entertainment device as well as a method to learn. It's when someone takes what they see as complete and unassailable fact without doing any research for themselves that kills me—and I am only too happy to whip out my nine hard inches of Snopes.com. Make that ten inches.

[Guest countryboywny]

I make my own personal judgments about every person I encounter, whether online or in person. I think this is completely natural for a person to do. You compare your own set of values, beliefs, feelings with what you can extract from another person's. There are posters here that I admire, find humorous and enjoy, just as there are posters who I ignore, dislike and find shallow and bitchy. What I DON'T do is make my judgments public, especially when they are negative. I never attack anyone, or make a big deal out their shortcomings (in my eyes). This is because I believe everyone has a right to live their life the way they want to, say what they want to say without persecution. Just because I don't agree with a person or think their behavior borders on idiocy doesn't mean they don't have redeeming qualities that someone else finds compelling. There is no need for me to put them down publicly to make myself feel superior. I know what I'm about, and I'm fine with that.