What is the attraction in being a bottom?

[zeyfur]

If you think about it, the experience should be quite degrading with another man sticking his cock into your ass. It should be uncomfortable with a loss of control and having to assume positions the top wants you to. Yet why is it so pleasurable lol ?

[+ Gar1eth]

If you think about it, the experience should be quite degrading with another man sticking his cock into your ass. It should be uncomfortable with a loss of control and having to assume positions the top wants you to. Yet why is it so pleasurable lol ?

 

The answer for me--IT'S NOT!!!!!

 

Gman (strict top here)

[seeker630]

The answer for me--IT'S NOT!!!!!

 

Gman (strict top here)

 

Likewise! When I first starting having sex with any regularity (in grad school, actually), I bottomed a grand total of 5 times, and never liked it. Never experienced any physical pleasure from it (and several of the guys were experienced, and tried to make it pleasureable). I suspect a lot of it has to do with my feelings of giving up control. On the fifth occasion, I sustained a small but painful (and embarassing) injury, and that was the end of any future attempts.

[Traveler North]

I have both topped and bottomed. Recently like to bottom more. Love being on my back as big cock enters me. Love watching guy pumping away. Love feeling of cock going in and out of my ass. Really turns me on. Also less work when bottoming. My guys always are always careful to prep my whole before going in. Thus comfortable when cock gets pushed into my hole.

[Decatur Guy]

Great question. It's clear I like thinking about shit like this from previous posts. So that end ...

 

On the mere face of it, it seems like any guy with a functioning cock and decent sex drive would prefer to stick his cock into a guy's ass (or a woman's ass or pussy) rather than take a cock up his ass. After all, it feels so good to fuck someone. And you can control the pace -- and the receiver -- to some degree or another. That's why I like to fuck.

 

And yet ... I like to bottom too. And when I hire, I always hire tops. In fact, I like hire tops that never get fucked. They make great tops. Not sure why I like it so much.

 

1. It's not exactly fair knowing you're solely the fuckee. And yet ... that turns me on.

 

2. The initial entry always hurts some for me. And yet, that also turns me on.

 

3. I knows there's a good chance their will be a little pain mixed in with the pleasure. And yet, that also turns me on.

 

4. I know the top will likely control the fuck. And yet, that also turns me on.

 

I'm still not sure WHY all that turns me on. Or why I'd pay someone $200 to put me through all that. I simply do. And there are days when all I want is for my cock to feel good and do that to another guy.

 

Clearly, getting fucked and sucking cock carrying some psychological thrills.

[bigvalboy]

I have both topped and bottomed. Recently like to bottom more. Love being on my back as big cock enters me. Love watching guy pumping away. Love feeling of cock going in and out of my ass. Really turns me on. Also less work when bottoming. My guys always are always careful to prep my whole before going in. Thus comfortable when cock gets pushed into my hole.

 

I agree TN...I couldn't have said it better. I do love to top also, especially when the guy is built like a line backer and then starts moaning like a little girl. LOVE that high moaning voice.......I'll be back, time for a cold shower..

[jjkrkwood]

Great Question, and I have weighed in on this issue MANY times. YES I have tried bottoming in my early gay years. I guess you have to to find out if you like it or not. For me it was uncomfortable, degrading, all the things Zeyfur said in the OP. Hence I honed my ORAL skills which I get alot of pleasure from. In the real world, I find it difficult to find guys that do not either Identify themselves as Tops or bottoms. there really isnt a label for a cocksucker/ass eatter...

 

All I do know is that any Top or bottom that I questioned is "passionate" about their ROLE, and get alot out of it.... Guess I just wasnt built for anal ?

[Michael Wayne]

my bottom clients tell me how GOOD it feels and how INTENSE the orgasm (s) are especially with a bigger dick. for me I have always enjoyed being on TOP. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

[gcursor]

Because of the nature of my hires, this doesn't situation doesn't come up either.

Gc

[+ Axiom2001]

If you think about it, the experience should be quite degrading with another man sticking his cock into your ass. It should be uncomfortable with a loss of control and having to assume positions the top wants you to. Yet why is it so pleasurable lol ?

 

It's mighty hot being pummeled by a hot guy who's hung (long and wide, cut or uncut) and who knows how to reach that special, delicious spot. A talented top is there to please himself as well as the recipient - of his, NOT to degrade unless that's what both men prefer!

 

During my experiences I've never felt less than anyone else before, during, or after "play time!" I love a guy who can "work it" as well as "me," one who can give me pleasure during and after (in terms of a lingering after glow).

[Epigonos]

I have always wanted to be a great slut bottom but bottoming has never been a comfortable experience for me. In many cases a really great bottom is the guy in control. He doesn’t just lie there and let the top pound away he takes the lead and uses the top’s cock to satisfy his inner itch. I’ve seen one or two porn films where the top appears be dazed by the fact that he is being used NOT the other way around. I would love to be that type of bottom but is just isn’t so. Thus I, like jj, have developed my oral skills and derive great pleasure from that experience.

[TruthBTold]

I am basically a top. I like to please the other guy and see that I am pleasing him. It is a bummer to get a guy who is a silent fuck. You know what I mean. No moans, no positive reinforcement, no requests to continue. They tell you after that they really liked it and you assume they do because they come back for more but if you were to tape it, you would never know it. But every once in a while, I like to bottom. The beginning hurts and I really have not reached the point where the top touches some pleasure point in me that makes me want to orgasm. I do tell the top to fuck me and fuck me harder. I rub his body and play with his nips. Not because it is going to make any difference in how my hole feels but because it is going to rile him up and . But what I really do like is being a "power bottom." I like using my ass to make him moan, to control the pace, and to get on top to see him and kiss him. I really do wish some times that I could be the person who can just lie there and take the fuck until I just squirt but I am not sure if that will ever happen. I have a feeling eventually I will just quit bottoming altogether.

[Rick Munroe]

If you think about it, the experience should be quite degrading with another man sticking his cock into your ass. It should be uncomfortable with a loss of control and having to assume positions the top wants you to. Yet why is it so pleasurable lol ?

 

You just explained why! Degrading...uncomfortable...loss of control. Sounds good to me.

[Decatur Guy]

You just explained why! Degrading...uncomfortable...loss of control. Sounds good to me.

 

LOL. I basically said the same thing in many more words.

[EastbayMike]

I'm mainly a top. When I bottom for my partner (we celebrated 17 years together yesterday) I get off on the togetherness. How closer can you get to someone then to feel him inside you ?

[seeker630]

I'm mainly a top. When I bottom for my partner (we celebrated 17 years together yesterday) I get off on the togetherness. How closer can you get to someone then to feel him inside you ?

 

Congratulations on your anniversary!

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

When I decided to have my first gay sexual experience, I wanted to be the bottom - don't know why. Although the first couple of times I bottomed it was not comfortable, and even stopped midway through the second session, I grown to enjoy being in either position. When on top on enjoy the control. When on the bottom, I feel an intimacy I don't feel otherwise.

[uwsman2]

When I was first coming out, I was really frightened by the idea of having a guy penetrate me, but at the same time secretly thrilled at the prospect of surrendering control over my body to another guy. During my early years of being "out" in NYC, basically my 20s, I topped and bottomed about 50/50, depending on the circumstances and chemistry. It helped that my first real boyfriend experience, at age 25, was with a 35 year old guy who was really experienced and helped me learn how to enjoy bottoming - which is about psychology as well as anatomy! - and especially taught me how to get started if I was feeling too tight or the top was really well hung.

 

Then, as I've mentioned on another thread, with the arrival of the AIDS epidemic in my 30s and the need to use condoms, I really lost the ability to top - I just couldn't maintain an erection with a condom on. I think it's a psychological thing but I've never gotten past it. So for decades now I've been exclusively a bottom.

 

I guess what I enjoy is being possessed, dominated a bit, and really enjoying a vigorous, hard-thrusting fuck as a bottom. Some of my most memorable experiences in life have been on my back receiving the heat and energy from a turned-on top. Knowing that my ass is giving pleasure to another man is very gratifying. To me satisfying sex can't be one-sided. Both parties have to enjoy it. Which is why I'm not really turned on with an escort unless he seems to be enjoying the experience, and I invest real energy in turning him on, because seeing him react turns me on.

[+ newatthis]

When I decided to have my first gay sexual experience, I wanted to be the bottom ...

I was once very surprised when a "straight" dancer whom I took home preferred to bottom. A more experienced friend to whom I confided this story told me it was common for straight/married guys to prefer bottoming to topping, since that was an experience not available to them in their day-to-day life.

[Phil_musc]

UWSMAN2, your post sounds like my life experience - our minds appear to have been separated at birth. When I was first starting out in my gay career, the idea of being penetrated was not something I felt mentally ready for and I associated it with effeminacy, a trait that I used to deplore. My first bottoming experience (my first gay experience period) did not go well - I didn't enjoy it at all although I found the guy to be very hot and I think he was probably pretty good at it - I just wasn't really ready - the things we allow ourselves to be talked into when we're young and stupid (lol!) Then with my first love, I tried it and it was wonderful - made my come with virtually no overt stimulation. Loved it! Became basically a 50-50 guy for a number of years with a preference toward topping - enjoyed the power of getting a guy to submit to my pleasure. Then I discovered grass and the combination of grass and poppers opened up a whole new world of sexual pleasure in which bottoming featured prominently. It was easier and the orgasms were just phenomenal. But then I fell in love again and my partner wasn't particularly into this activity so my anal skills languished for years (actually during most of the early AIDS time so if ever there was a time not to be doing anal, this was it). Now that we're all older, I've found that I just don't get the concept alluded to above by numerous guys about the degradation aspect - when I was an inexperienced teen I thought like that, but (as we say in the Bible) when I became a man I put away childish things. One of those childish things was the idea that being a bottom was somehow womanish or effeminate or degrading - what I had discovered was the vast reservoir of pleasure that my body had the capacity to experience as a bottom. That physical pleasure combined with the psychological feelings of intimacy and closeness with another guy make for an amazing experience. To the people who still talk about the degradation of being anally penetrated I say grow up and learn what ecstatic pleasure your body is capable of. Of course I like it when the guy topping me appreciates my talents and my amazing ass, and it's always nice to be appreciated. And I like knowing that I can give someone who is into topping a good and pleasurable experience. The irony is that he may be thinking I'm submitting to his charms when from my perspective, he is the vehicle that I can use to drive me to paradise. At any rate, it sounds like a win-win to me, and hopefully a good time will be had by all.

[Guest Merlin]

I have never bottomed, but here are some aspects not discussed above.

The prostate is an important part of the sexual mechanism and it lies just inside the anus, so the bottom experience the pressure on his prostate, which explains part of the pleasure involved.

In its nature, the sex act involves one dominant/active participant and one submissive/passive. The male part in sex is necessarily active and dominant and I think for most men being dominant is part of the pleasure. Similarly the female derives pleasure from being submissive, and from being dominated and controlled. These feelings are facilitated by the fact that males tend to be larger and stronger than females.

In the extreme, dominants become sadistic and submissives become masochistic. But I believe the feelings involved are an extension of the feelings involved in anal sex. That is, the submissive can enjoy being required kneel, submit vocally, tied up, and subjected to minor pain because he is programmed to enjoy submission. The reverse for the dominant.

Its only an opinion for discussion, I can't prove it.

uwsman2, re your comment that you can't use condoms. You might try the trojan dry (red) condoms. Being dry inside they have less tendency to squeeze the penis and provide more friction. Also try the jumbo size for the same reasons. Just a suggestion.

[leigh.bess.toad]

A great question and some great answers. In thinking about the question, when bottoming for me it is, in part, turning control over to my top. I think what may sum up what I'm looking for in the experience is something I learned very early on from Tyger. I've posted this before, but I think it bears repeating. It was in an exchange of emails we had during my "client from hell" phase. But his response is something that made me think an awful lot about bottoming and what I am feeling.

 

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I will ask you a question here: (Several)... Have you had the experience of having your Master inside of you and not moving at all? Just feeling him inside of you and you embracing him with your hungry hole? Looking into each others eyes, feeling his hard cock pulse inside of you, feeling the curve of his hardness, the roundness of the head of his dick? Feeling your body and mind accept him completely? Connected together with bodies balanced between each other until you are one? Consider the concept of intercourse and directing the passion from within and then harnessing it for the external pleasures.

 

Is it enough to be wild dog fucked or do you have an interest in feeling your Master from the deeper level? ie... there is sex and then there is "Sex" with context and Content. Which is more/most important to you?

 

Since Trust IS a big aspect here, consider the foundations being heart, Mind, Spirit/Soul first and then opening up your body more from those foundations. Get sense of your Master and allow him that sense of you form the inside out as opposed to the outside in?

 

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[zeyfur]

A great question and some great answers. In thinking about the question, when bottoming for me it is, in part, turning control over to my top. I think what may sum up what I'm looking for in the experience is something I learned very early on from Tyger. I've posted this before, but I think it bears repeating. It was in an exchange of emails we had during my "client from hell" phase. But his response is something that made me think an awful lot about bottoming and what I am feeling.

 

*************************************

 

I will ask you a question here: (Several)... Have you had the experience of having your Master inside of you and not moving at all? Just feeling him inside of you and you embracing him with your hungry hole? Looking into each others eyes, feeling his hard cock pulse inside of you, feeling the curve of his hardness, the roundness of the head of his dick? Feeling your body and mind accept him completely? Connected together with bodies balanced between each other until you are one? Consider the concept of intercourse and directing the passion from within and then harnessing it for the external pleasures.

 

Is it enough to be wild dog fucked or do you have an interest in feeling your Master from the deeper level? ie... there is sex and then there is "Sex" with context and Content. Which is more/most important to you?

 

Since Trust IS a big aspect here, consider the foundations being heart, Mind, Spirit/Soul first and then opening up your body more from those foundations. Get sense of your Master and allow him that sense of you form the inside out as opposed to the outside in?

 

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I need a cold shower after reading that !

[leigh.bess.toad]

I need a cold shower after reading that !

 

That seems to be the usual reaction. If I had a dollar for every time I've read what I now refer to as simply "the paragraph", I could retire VERY comfortably.

[Binudeguy]

I, for one, don't find it degrading at all. On a physical level I love having my prostate massaged by another guys cock and find the feeling of a man inside of me very satisfying (both before and after I cum). I also enjoy the extreme sense of intimacy that anal sex provides (at least to me). Not to mention the sense of satisfaction I feel from giving pleasure to my partner. I have rarely experienced any serious pain on being entered. I guess some prep and a loving top is what's needed