Kissing-----too personal?

[+ jeezopete]

OK, I had 3 mildly entertaining lap dances in a small bar tonight. The dancers were young twinks, not exactly my type, but I was drinking & bored. Each of the 3 dancers surprised me though, with kissing during the lap dances. On my long drive home I was thinking about the kisses & how they were the best parts of each lap dance. Kissing is a huge turn on for me, and from what I've read, it is for many of the posters here.

 

I recall several years ago seeing ads for a couple of young escorts who listed almost every sexual activity among their services offered, but they stated that they didn't kiss because they felt it was very personal. I thought back then, and still do now, that it was a strange statement and belief. I mean, is kissing really more personal than oral giving/receiving, topping/bottoming or rimming? For me it's one of the basic components to a complete sexual experience.

 

What do you think? Is kissing more personal than sex acts? If so, why?

 

(By the way, I've had a lot of lap dances that didn't involve kissing & the fact that three in a row tonight did was very rare indeed. I doubt that it has anything to do with the fact that I just joined a gym & have worked out 2 days in a row, but you can bet I'm hitting the gym again tomorrow just in case!)

[Zapped]

Lap-dance kissing? What kind of kissing? Dry or French?

 

I've had lots of lap dances, a few including a hand job, but I don't think any of them included kissing other than perhaps some very limited dry kissing, or me kissing other parts of the dancer's body than his mouth.

 

I remember negotiating with guys at the old Gaiety in NY, and no one was willing to do French kissing for fear of disease transmission. Suck their cocks, yes, but no kissing.

 

And I've had sex (for free) with guys who wouldn't do anything other than dry kissing.

 

Interesting phenomenon. And, btw, I love kissing.

[leigh.bess.toad]

A remnant of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman I think. (which is frightening in that the move is now over 20 years old)

 

For me, kissing is a make or break issue. No kissing, not interested. I wouldn't even go remotely close to an escort who doesn't kiss, and kiss very enthusiastically. Is it personal? You bet. But so is getting fucked.

[Zapped]

For me, kissing is a make or break issue. No kissing, not interested. I wouldn't even go remotely close to an escort who doesn't kiss, and kiss very enthusiastically. Is it personal? You bet. But so is getting fucked.

 

Sure, I'm pretty much with you on that. But getting kissed by a lap dancer? That's pretty unusual.

[jjkrkwood]

Kissing is a MUST HAVE for me. It really gets me going. i think its the most "personal and intimate" of acts. And you can really tell alot about the person by the way he kisses (ie: passionate & tender, aggressive, use of tongue, etc)....

[josephga]

I've gone to swinging Richards here in Atlanta twice and was kissed in the mouth both times when taking the dancer a few bucks while up on the stage. Then once again during a lap dance

[Michael Wayne]

for me it is quite simple: no kiss, no sex. not interested in you if you won't kiss me. the thing that surprised alot of my clients is the fact that I am so willing to kiss. Many of them say that they have NEVER had an escort, much less a dancer, kiss them. For many of my married clients I am the first guy they have ever kissed. that turns me on!!!

[+ newatthis]

...Each of the 3 dancers surprised me though, with kissing during the lap dances. On my long drive home I was thinking about the kisses & how they were the best parts of each lap dance. Kissing is a huge turn on for me, and from what I've read, it is for many of the posters here.

My recollection is that many, if not most, of my lap dance experiences over the past couple of years included deep kissing. Keep in mind that in my usual venues (Montreal, Fort Lauderdale), a lap dance is always preceded by 10 minutes to an hour of talking and fooling around at the bar, so I have a pretty good idea of whether kissing is on the menu before I opt for the back room. I have occasionally run into dancers who don't kiss either because it's too personal, or for "health reasons" (a dancer from my last Montreal trip comes to mind who would open-mouth kiss so long as no saliva was exchanged).

 

I also have the impression that younger dancers (twink or not) are more likely to be into kissing with clients. That's been true even of some straight dancers I know. (Before you ask: "straight" mean self-declared as straight in stable relationships with live-in girlfriends. You and I might call this "bi.")

[EZEtoGRU]

I am currently in Montreal and have done lapdances with about 5 guys so far on this trip. Two of them have french kissed very enthusiastically! I do enjoy kissing as long as it is with a guy that I am very attracted to.

[geoffk]

Wow kissing along with a lap dance, sounds like a good time to me. I havent had this happen with a dancer but would be into it if it came up. I did, however, have a non-dancer at a bar in Phoenix come up to kiss me after one of the dancers there knocked me off my chair. that was crazy but fun.

[seeker630]

Kissing is a requirement for me, and I always mention that in preliminary communications. I can recall several escorts who mentioned that they had agreed with their boyfriends not to kiss (I didn't hire them). I think kissing is more closely associated (by many) with romance and 'personal' feelings rather than sex & lust. For me, it can be either or both.

[+ sf westcoaster]

Never been kissed during a lap dance, however I have been kissed as I slipped a bill into a dancers jock strap. I am very up front with an escort and tell them that kissing is an absolute must. Yes, kissing is personal, but so is the entire array of sexual activities.

[orbital sander]

Kissing is great as long as the other guy has good oral hygeine...but I have never been to a (male) strip club or had a lap dance (male or female).

[EZEtoGRU]

Kissing is great as long as the other guy has good oral hygeine...but I have never been to a (male) strip club or had a lap dance (male or female).

 

Me thinks its time for you to schedule a trip to Montreal!

[dapurplebear]

kissing is HUGE for me -- never been to a club -- but with escorts it somehow makes it feel more personal for me -- and I want that for the time we spend together....

[Guest Bauer]

What do you think? Is kissing more personal than sex acts? If so, why?

 

(By the way, I've had a lot of lap dances that didn't involve kissing & the fact that three in a row tonight did was very rare indeed. I doubt that it has anything to do with the fact that I just joined a gym & have worked out 2 days in a row, but you can bet I'm hitting the gym again tomorrow just in case!)

Kissing sure is personal.

 

Particularly, when one goes to the La Prairie counter, for the "Age Management Balancer" .... dabs it around the mouth area and v-i-o-l-a. Lecture time.

[Bosguy]

Like many already stated above, kissing is absolutey necessary with anyone I spend time with. All the escorts I have been with have been so into major kissing that it made our time together so much more personal and intense. I've found that the more intense the mutual kissing is, the better the sex and total time together.

 

Bill.

 

PS. I've never take part in lap dancing. Just a shy, reserved Bostonian I guess. Guess I need someone to show me the ropes.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Kissing is a must. It's the one act I'm never concerned about being the equal of my partner.

[Epigonos]

It's nice to see that so many of us agree on this topic. As far as I'm concerned it's not even discussable. If he doesn't kiss he doesn't spend time with me. For me that's an iron clad rule.

[Phil_musc]

I agree. When I'm perusing the Rentboy ads, if I don't see kissing as one of the "talents" (I think that's where this is listed), I move on. And it needs to be listed - I wouldn't assume anything at this point. Somehow I think there's some cultural conditioning going on here - kissing too personal? What?! And sucking dick and f------ aren't personal?! If those pastimes aren't "personal," then it's probably not going to be a satisfactory encounter either. The parties in question must be operating on automatic machine mode. Same philosophy for non-commercial hook-ups.

[+ newatthis]

...PS. I've never take part in lap dancing. Just a shy, reserved Bostonian I guess. Guess I need someone to show me the ropes.

Just say when:).

[+ Axiom2001]

Kissing is a MUST HAVE for me. It really gets me going. i think its the most "personal and intimate" of acts. And you can really tell a lot about the person by the way he kisses (ie: passionate & tender, aggressive, use of tongue, etc)....

 

Damn, jjkrkwood! You wrote this so succinctly and candidly, and I wholeheartedly concur! Thanks, man!!!! What you wrote is a complete identification of yours truly and his take on "KISSING!"

[jjkrkwood]

Damn, jjkrkwood! You wrote this so succinctly and candidly, and I wholeheartedly concur! Thanks, man!!!! What you wrote is a complete identification of yours truly and his take on "KISSING!"

 

Thank you. Guess we have alot in common, your Duke-dom...... I am always happy to share my thoughts.

[Mocha]

As an escort...I don't mean to be judgmental and I'm not quite sure this is the answer to the question.

 

But I used to have a friend who was a dancer and since, I would go to join him when he danced, but as a 'customer'. So sometimes I'd have guys my age in their 20s come up to me and throw the leg around my shoulder or something (which I don't like as it's too close to my neck area LOL).

 

But I've had some do the playful dance as well. But kissing a dancer? or kissing as a dancer? I don't think I could. I mean, as an escort yes I kiss clients. It's not anymore personal than them sucking my dick, or me sucking theirs or fucking them. so fuck that personal shit. But as a dancer, typical busy week how many guys are being kissed in 1 night? And it's not just dancers, it's any guy in a club who indiscriminately kisses random guys for the sake of it.

 

In addition, It seems that $20-$50 for a private lapdance is common. I mean if I could kiss 1 guy for $200-300, why would I want to kiss 5 or 6 of them in 1 night for the same amount?

 

I'm generally not a fan of strip clubs anyway. I always feel compelled to tip when I actually go out to just dance and mingle...

[jjkrkwood]

As an escort...I don't mean to be judgmental and I'm not quite sure this is the answer to the question.

 

But I used to have a friend who was a dancer and since, I would go to join him when he danced, but as a 'customer'. So sometimes I'd have guys my age in their 20s come up to me and throw the leg around my shoulder or something (which I don't like as it's too close to my neck area LOL).

 

But I've had some do the playful dance as well. But kissing a dancer? or kissing as a dancer? I don't think I could. I mean, as an escort yes I kiss clients. It's not anymore personal than them sucking my dick, or me sucking theirs or fucking them. so fuck that personal shit. But as a dancer, typical busy week how many guys are being kissed in 1 night?

 

In addition, It seems that $20-$50 for a private lapdance is common. I mean if I could kiss 1 guy for $200-300, why would I want to kiss 5 or 6 of them in 1 night for the same amount?