Respect

[HooBoy]

I must have too much time on my hands... I was burrowing into the netherlands of this MESSAGE CENTER and I came across a "dove", which should have been oblieterated in a typical Internet meltdown somewhere..

 

But I thought, this sums up my feelings.

 

The point, I think, is... RESPECT.

 

But I copied the post written by Bobby B and I ask you to consider the message...

 

Regardless of whether some escorts chose to, mistakenly or otherwise, charge more than what is considered fair market value, I continue to get the disturbing feeling that some people don't factor in what makes the hiring...and value...of a good escort worth whatever they feel comfortable charging. An escort isn't your typical schmo working at the corner hardware store. He's usually an above average looking guy, if not an out & out hottie with a sexual skill-set that leaves most us slack-jawed and with smiles that only surgury or time can remove. But MUCH more importantly, when we buy the services of an escort, we are buying an irreplaceable part of that person's youth, their absolute "prime" that almost everyone else on the planet will NEVER get to experience. But we do!

 

My experience with escorts is somewhat limited, but I respect the profession very much. When I was in MY prime, I spent it satisfying ME. But these rarified specimens spend their youth & sexual prime satisfying US, and that makes them pretty special indeed. What they let us rent by the hour, evening, or weekend, adds up to giant chunks of their lives that they are not getting to share with their lovers and friends. That is time that can never be reclaimed. It's gone, and we got it. I have no doubt that the clients of a successful escort will clock more time with that escort than his poor boyfriend (if he can even squeeze one in) ever gets to see. They put their lives on hold for us, gentlemen, and while much can, and should, be said about the realities of the marketplace, we shouldn't forget that as long as we have these unique individuals who share with us their most wonderful, irreplaceable youth and soul, we are provided with experiences we would otherwise NEVER have. In the great scheme of things, they provide me with much more than I could ever afford to really pay. God bless 'em, and I wish them all well.

[Guest Kalifornia]

HB I believe in respect. Respect is a strong word. People need to earn each others respect, it is not a given.

------------------

Regarding BobbyB post I think it is rubbish. I have no patience for those who place an escort on the mountain top. What about the kid who has that same perfect body working two fucking jobs just so he and hhis BF can pay the rent? What about the DPO who has to work 16 hour shifts, does BobbyB feel the same way? Oh not to mention the money that an escort earns.

 

Let me break it down: an escort earns 150. - 250. per hour. The kid working two jobs to pay his rent 9.00 per hour, that DPO possibly 19.00 per hour. Now who should be on the mountain top? The kid, the DPO or the escort?

 

Yes, the escort serves his purpose just like the DPO and the kid do. One is not higher or above the other. What about you the client, you hav such a low value of yourself that you are in awe of an escort? What about ebing in awe of that NYFD man who went tumbling down 90 floors at the WTC giving his life to save someone else for 28.hr.

 

This continous thought on this board that an escort is any more special than any other working person makes me feel ill. It's an indication of how mentally harmed many on this board are. Also here in the States trading money for sex is illegal just in case some don't remember.

 

What about the client who works hard for his money to pay for that escort's hour of companionship? Anyone care to carry the flag for the client?

 

And don't even get me started about teachers... now there is someone we should respect.

 

The only person I know who went to the mountain top is Martin Luther King Jr. and he has my respect.

 

Mark -Kalifornia

[Guest Kenny021]

I completely agree with Kalifornia....same thing applies to doctors, attorneys, any profession you wish to state. The outlandish idea that escorts are somehow "gods" is absolute rubbish. They are not there to be great humanitarians....they are out there FOR THE MONEY. They should try to make it as pleasant as possible but please, let's not canonize them.

The closest thing that comes close to "gods" is the doctor who spent THOUSANDS of dollars and countless 48 hour shifts with practically no personal life in order to SAVE YOUR LIFE if and when the occasion arises.

This has NOTHING to do with respect...EVERYONE should give and receive respect.

[bluenix]

>we are buying an irreplaceable part of

>that person's youth ...

 

http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-45.gif

[ted]

Do I respect some escorts? Yes. Do I respect them all? No. I find there are individuals in all of the professions mentioned who deserve respect, and those that do not. Initially I treat everyone with consideration, until they prove themselves undeserving, as citizens of the world I think that is our duty. Do I trust everyone immediately? That would be stupid. Respect I think embodies both consideration and a certain amount of esteem for an individual, and that esteem has to be earned. I think the truly professional escorts do deserve respect; they earn a good monetary living, but they generally pay a high price in their personal life. They are very good at what they do and truly treat it as a profession and derive satisfaction beyond the monetary compensation. Most of the other mentioned professions do not pay the personal/social price, except for possibly long hours, which I think has become the norm rather than the exception.

A lot of escorts though are in it for a few years to pay off a college loan or a few bills, or to get themselves set up quickly. They come and go in a year or two. They may be good escorts, worthy of consideration, but esteemed, not really. And of course there are those who are simply rip off artists, not even really worthy of consideration.

[Guest fukamarine]

I agree 100% with Mark - Kalifornia on this one.

 

I think HooBoy is wrong in praising the "words of Bobby B"

They are nothing but trite verbal diarrhea. If we were to believe what he says we would think the escort climbed down from the cross to attend to our needs.

 

I wrote an FFF type of disection (although not as skilled as FFF could have done)of Bobby B's post when he first posted it. I still stand by everything I said. To tell us that we have taken precious moments of a young escort's life which he can never regain is just pure crap. And the time spent by the escort away from his friends & family, while he is earning a living is no different than any other guy who works at a job for a living, such as at McDonalds, as Kalifornia also pointed out.

 

Oh wait a minute. I'm wrong. There is a differance. The escort earns $200 plus per hour as oposed to 9 bucks an hour. Let's all feel sorry for the poor escort huh?

 

Usually I agree with HooBoy's line of thought, but I think he's out to lunch on this one. Could it be the culture shock brought on by his move, or the rarified air in NYC? :-)

 

fukamarine

[Guest Bitchboy]

Could it be the culture shock

>brought on by his move, or the rarified air in NYC? :-)

>

>fukamarine

 

 

 

Don't blame the air in New York. We have enough problems: the friggin' Yankees lost!!!

:'(

 

 

Escorts, like everyone else, deserve respect when they earn it. Though, if I added up all the hours of youth I've given away for the betterment of mankind, I'd still be pauper.

[+ deej]

<<HB I believe in respect. Respect is a strong word. People need to earn each others respect, it is not a given.>>

 

There's the rub. It's the glass half-empty argument.

 

In your book, anyone who hasn't earned your respect isn't worthy of it. In my book, they start with respect and must do something to cause that respect to be diminished.

 

A friend who has from time to time escorted BECAUSE HE ENJOYED IT came from humble beginnings in Puerto Rico, moved to NYC at 16 to attend college (self-financed), and is now pursuing a PHD (also self-financed). I have HUGE respect for him.

 

But since he has been a whore, in your book he's automatically a target of derision because that makes him somehow "lower class" not worthy of your respect.

 

Why don't you give up the lip service to respect? You don't mean it, and you show that off around here nearly every day.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

An Escort Comments

 

>>we are buying an irreplaceable part of

>>that person's youth ...

 

From my vantage point, this can be very true. Of the five friends of mine who escort, the one who just turned 21 has been escorting since he was 15. Another, who is 23, has done it full time for the last two years, often traveling a great deal with his clients.

 

Of these two particular guys, one has retired and is pursuing two degrees, one in the arts, the other in applied science. The second guy already has his business degree and spent two years during the boom working for a stock brokerage firm. The two years he has escorted have afforded him travel opportunities and provided him with a number of experiences he would not otherwise have, which is why he continues to escort. On the other hand, he has not gone on a "real date" or goes without sex with one of his age peers for long periods (two months or more).

 

My viewpoint on the subject of how an escort should (and does treat his clients) has been stated any number of times so I will not reiterate it once more beyond I believe any number of escorts are worthy of consideration, courtesy, appreciation, and admiration, for any number of reasons related to our chosen profession. There are both escorts I have met and those I would hope to one day meet who have given me much cause to feel those things towards them and no evidence or indication I should feel otherwise.

 

As there are bad priest and school teachers, greedy lawyers and medical professionals, bus drivers who do not exhibit common courtesy to their passengers, etc., there are bad exemplars in any work force.

 

However, those of us who are owed common courtesy and consideration, especially as this is what we afford our clients and prospective clients, deserve and have earned no less.

 

Personally, I believe I work very hard and sleep well at night because I believe I have done right by the gentlemen who choose to come to me. Have I earned their respect? That is not for me to say. What I can state without any question in my mind (or theirs) is that I provided a complete experience, of both sensual intimacy and companionship, which began from the initial contact and extended beyond the scheduled session time, and continues to this date, should the client be comfortable with such contact, and that the fee in question was, in the minds of its providers, appropriate and well-founded.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Greetings Guys~

 

I am in agreement with HB to a point on the validity of what Bobby had to say. In essence, it was probably written with only good intentions in mind and not meant to be deconstructed among the likes of a Stella Adler workshop. Personally, i feel that if a particular escort does well with his clients and truly puts himself into things, then it's fine to 'reward' that escort with praise and pomp. On the flip-side, if an escort is a complete schmuck (technical terminology) then it should be known as well.

 

Respect is earned... period. If an escort is looking for personal validation simply because he's an escort then forget it. Respect isn't just about having a dozen reviews or being hung like John Holmes's twin~ it's about treating people the way you'd want to be treated. As completely sappy as that sounds, it's the honest truth. Anyone can amaze their clients with sexual prowess, but gaining their respect is a much tougher (and rewarding) task.

 

Live by the golden rule because karma is a real bitch

 

 

 

 

 

Warmest Regards,

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

[email protected]

http://www.ChiKindaKid.com

[+ deej]

<<it's about treating people the way you'd want to be treated.>>

 

I agree with this completely, but it's not limited to escorts. It applies to clients as well. Sadly, some clients seem to think they're more deserving of respect than their escort counterparts.

 

And, yes, Karma is a bitch -- with a REAL long memory! ;-)

[Guest newawlens]

I think the point of making an impassioned plea to show respect for escorts is that society as a whole does not respect them. In part this is because they are doing something for money that our culture says should be done only out of deep feelings for another person. In part it's because bad behavior by many people involved in prostitution has given the whole business a reputation for sleaziness and dishonesty.

 

I'm not going to endorse some of the harsh words about escorts posted elsewhere in this thread. On the other hand all of the escorts I've ever met or heard of are doing it because they could not make the same kind of money doing anything else. I know doctors, lawyers and teachers who do the kind of work they do because they want to help people even though they could make a lot more dough doing a different kind of work. I don't know any escorts who fit that description. There is nothing wrong with getting paid for the work you do or with seeking out the kind of work that pays the most, but no one deserves a medal for doing that either.

 

I think there are some people who wouldn't be able to have sex at all if they couldn't hire escorts. It can be hard for some people to separate sexual desire from affection for the object of that desire, so I think they direct at escorts the affection that would normally go to a person with whom they're having a real relationship. When people get carried away like that, that's what produces the kind of post Bobby B wrote. I think it would be better for him and everyone in his position if he saved his affection for someone who is going to return it. No matter how much money he spends on escorts, it isn't going to buy him that.

[Guest Ant415]

It seems Bobby B can be accused of being an escort groupie (sp). Or, perhaps in the Netherlands there is some certification or minimum set of standards for an escort, thus he feels escorts are worthy of such praise (in addition to a tidy sum of money).

 

Here in the USA (or planet earth) escorts run the gamut, from the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is an industry with no barriers for entry, and very little money or effort is required to set up shop. Only the guys that are really good at what they do will continue. The lesser guy will not survive in the business, and will leave in his wake dozens of unsatisfied customers.

 

I have hired guys that are really good. They were friendly and seemed genuine. They had above average looks and body (at least for my tastes). The sex was pretty good, but I think most of that comes from my being attracted and a general good flow of energy. However, I think most of it is very subjective. Of the guys from the good side, I can think of only one or two that had a superlative set of sexual skills. The others were that of an ordinary guy.

 

There were some bad escorts too. Many in-shape 21 year old guys can market themselves sexy and attract some clients' interest. Either they do not have the ability or the interest to "serve the clients needs". They are out for a quick buck, and will do the minumum to get through the hour. Of course they will not last long in the escort world, but they can collect some quick cash along the way.

 

In all cases, I do not feel I ever robbed any of these guys of their youth or innocence. The good escorts have been around the block enough, so there is nothing I could steal from their innocence. The bad escorts robbed me of $200.

 

Bobby's post does not seem to address the issue of an escort that is in his late 20's-early 30's. There are many cases of the escort being close in age to the client.

[Guest fukamarine]

>In your book, anyone who hasn't earned your respect isn't

>worthy of it. In my book, they start with respect and must

>do something to cause that respect to be diminished.

 

Well said. I agree. But to me this thread isn't about respect as much as it is about being realistic about what an escort does and why.

 

HE'S IN IT FOR THE MONEY and anyone else who believes otherwise is deceiving himself. And for those who claim they do it just because they enjoy it, they shoot themselves in the foot when they pick up the money that is left for them on top of the dresser. If they were truly doing it just because they liked it, they would leave the money lying there.

 

The point I am trying to make, and that others have made also, is that it is pure hog-wash to try and make the escort out to be a philanthropist. Let's all get real here.

 

fukamarine

[DaninWA]

I do not respect everyone I meet; however, I try to treat everyone I meet with respect. (Don't always succeed) This gives them the opportunity to earn my respect and gives me the opportunity to earn their respect.

 

So many posters on these message boards take insult with remarks made by other posters. For those of you who do take insult, I have two questions:

 

Do you trully respect the person who made the remarks?

 

If not, how can you be insulted by someone you don't respect?

 

Blast away.

 

Dan

[Flower]

>HB I believe in respect. Respect is a strong word. People

>need to earn each others respect, it is not a given.

>Mark -Kalifornia

 

Well, I guess there is a first time for everything. I really never thought I'd ever agree with anything California said, but I agree with the above quote and a few, but not many, of the ideas expressed in his post.

 

That being said, EVERYONE deserves to be treated with respect, until they prove themselves unworthy. But there is a difference between "respecting" and "treating with respect." Respect is earned, period.

 

One of my big disagreements with California is his utter contempt for almost everyone, but it seems especially directed at escorts. He seems to place escorts on a lower rung of the ladder than himself, and is constantly reminding us that what they do is illegal.

 

Well, what he does is illegal also, and maybe more so since he, as a police officer, and has taken an oath to uphold the laws of the State, whether he believes in them or not. Does that make him unworthy of respect? Does that put him on a lower rung?

 

Regardless, escorts that really give of themselves for their clients are few and far between and when found should be applauded if not lauded.

 

Theirs' is a service business unlike any other--I cannot think of any other that requires such a personal undertaking and sometimes with less than desirable conditions and circumstances.

 

But are they a "better person" than the guy working at McDonalds? Possibly, but not necessarily, but then neither is their client or the doctor or lawyer or whoever. A person's worthiness and whether he deserves respect depends on many things, including how he treats people, his honesty, his integrity, etc. How he performs his livelihood is certainly a factor to be considered, however, whether it is an escort or a doctor. There are truly good people in all walks of life, but it's their actions and deeds that make them good, not their status or occupation.

 

At least, IMHO

 

Flower :*

[+ deej]

>HE'S IN IT FOR THE MONEY and anyone else who believes

>otherwise is deceiving himself.

 

DUH! ;-)

 

I wish I could say I was being entirely altruistic every morning when I go to the office but the fact is I'M IN IT FOR THE MONEY. My boss knows I wouldn't be there if there wasn't a paycheck waiting at the end of the month, and he still treats me with respect. There's even some pedestal-putting (completely unwarranted, I assure you).

 

I happen to love my job, but I still wouldn't be doing it without a paycheck and I still get respect.

 

Why do escorts deserve different treatment? Because they get naked and have sex with strangers? Honey, I've done it. It's a LOT more difficult than what I do every day! x(

 

Why don't they deserve basic human respect?

[alanalt]

My turn to comment...:-)

 

Like deej said, I approach every escort (and try to approach every person) with an attitude of respect. I think that's very important, especially when I read 'some' of the comments on this board and see people automatically judging escorts as 'whores' (or worse). I know that some of these posters will defend themselves by saying that's what they are and pull out a dictionary definition to prove it, but that's not the point. The point is that there is a fundamental conveyance of disrespect that goes along with that word. And, yes, there's no doubt that there are guys out there who deserve it. BUT, that's a decision that should be made by experience and not just hearsay as often tends to happen.

 

So from the above perspective, I think Hooboy is right to bring up the subject and to encourage all of us to 'respect' escorts and certainly not to judge them based on their profession.

 

However, I think that message, valuable as it may be, was lost because like most others who have posted, I see respect as something very different from that paean of praise from Bobby B. Yes, there are sacrifices involved in every job. I look at one escort I know who's maybe been home for 6-8 weeks so far this year. But there are compensations too, not just the money but the travel, the exposure to places, cutlures and environments that most people will never experience and even fewer will experience at such a young age. So let's remember that as well as Bobby's (overly dramatic, in my view) account of their trials...

 

I respect almost all of the escorts that I have encountered. Most of them have been fair, honest, hard-working and do a job that I know I could never do. A few of them, I value even more as friends and genuinely good people look at their chosen profession in something close to what Bobby tried to describe. But, in the end, I value them for WHO they are, far more than WHAT they are...

 

Okay, philosophical rant has been purged from my system...;-)

 

Alan

[Flower]

>Do you trully respect the person who made the remarks?

>If not, how can you be insulted by someone you don't

>respect?

>Dan

 

Dan, I don't think "insult" is necessarily the applicable term for what many feel when they read crap from the likes of Kalifornia and a few others--I think CONTEMPT is more like it, and sometimes STUPIDITY and IGNORANCE to the point of being unable to hold off replying.

 

Despite the fact that it may be playing into their hand, if such remarks go unanswered, there are many here who, feeling silence may be acceptance, might give them some credence when none is deserved.

 

Flower :*

[alanalt]

that's cultures...*sigh*

[Flower]

Well said.

 

Flower :*

[alanalt]

>Well said.

>

>Flower :*

 

So was yours!! ;-)

 

Alan

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Money Talks

 

>I'm not going to endorse some of the harsh words about

>escorts posted elsewhere in this thread. On the other hand

>all of the escorts I've ever met or heard of are doing it

>because they could not make the same kind of money doing

>anything else. I know doctors, lawyers and teachers who do

>the kind of work they do because they want to help people

>even though they could make a lot more dough doing a

>different kind of work. I don't know any escorts who fit

>that description. There is nothing wrong with getting paid

>for the work you do or with seeking out the kind of work

>that pays the most, but no one deserves a medal for doing

>that either.

 

I escorted in my 20s and am escorting again now, starting at the mid-point of my 35th year. I have help positions - and could hold them once again - which are considered professional and which pay very well. I have interviewed for two such positions in the last twelve months. I turned down the opportunity to pursue either option further.

 

I think the problem with this particular post, as with many such posts, as that it is painting everyone with the same brush.

 

I can speak only for myself, but I do what I do because I want to.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

A Little R * E * S * P * E * C * T

 

>Regardless, escorts that really give

>of themselves for their

>clients are few and far between and when found should be

>applauded if not lauded.

>

>Theirs' is a service business unlike any other--I cannot

>think of any other that requires such a personal undertaking

>and sometimes with less than desirable conditions and

>circumstances.

 

Precisely.

 

>But are they a "better person"

>than the guy working at

>McDonalds? Possibly, but not necessarily, but then neither

>is their client or the doctor or lawyer or whoever. A

>person's worthiness and whether he deserves respect depends

>on many things, including how he treats people, his honesty,

>his integrity, etc. How he performs his livelihood is

>certainly a factor to be considered, however, whether it is

>an escort or a doctor. There are truly good people in all

>walks of life, but it's their actions and deeds that make

>them good, not their status or occupation.

 

 

Once again, precisely.

 

The cashier or worker at McDonald's may not be working in the most desireable conditions but is he undertaking something very personal and intimate when he or she takes your order or serves you your food? Does he remember that you wanted fries with that burger if it is not on the ticket? Would he remember several months after the fact that you prefer your fries with extra salt?

 

 

I believe all individuals merit consideration and courtesy but the only thing which leisure as the basis of our culture has wrought is a highly materialistic society where waste - of both goods and services and human potential - is the first word and apparent highest calling.

 

Do I do what I do and therefore deserve more respect than anyone else does? Of course not. Does any escort? No.

 

But as human beings, particularly those of us who do "treat" people with "honesty" and "integrity" in the performance of our chosen profession, we should be judge on our "actions and deeds" - frankly, it strikes me frequently that many client members of this site appear to believe that escorts are simply shiny, attractive pieces of furniture, to be moved around where needed, to be placed where they provide the most use to the client, to simply serve the clients needs.

 

In many respects, it is a power dynamic, where money affords leverage. The reverse of that coin is the power dynamic where looks, endowment or sexual ability provides the leverage. In either consideration, the one side does a disservice to the other in reflecting a lack of consideration and courtesy, to either the client or to the escort.

 

I believe I am well paid for what I do and I realize full well that my services are a luxury and not a necessity for most, irrespective of income. I also am cognizant that many of my clients are gentlemen who have any number of reasons why they come to me (or other escorts). I never pass judgment on those reasons and as I do not feel it necessary to defend my choices, I do not feel it is necessary to defend those choices that bring these gentlemen to hire.

[Rod Hagen]

Bob’s prose is too syrupy; that’s obvious. Newawleans is correct: Bob is overly dramatic presumably because the only sex, or perhaps the best sex, he has is with escorts.

 

Deej has the best attitude of anybody in this thread.

 

Benjamin has turned Kissing-Ass into an art. Bravo.

 

I don’t respect someone who is my age and has settled for being a Burger Flipper. If he’s good looking as Kalifornia (or was it FuckAMarine? Sometimes the differences between their knee-jerk Verbal Bashings are indiscernable) stated, then that young man is a pussy for not escorting or modeling or doing something noble and/or profitable with his good looks, or ignorant for at least not thinking of it, (presuming he doesn’t live in Council Bluffs Iowa where hustling, modeling or whatNot might never occur to him). And if he’s not attractive but he is smart he should be doing something else entirely. Nothing good comes from working at McDonalds; except their French Fries-man those things are like sticks of salted heaven.

 

Lots of good (and bad) comes from giving your body to kindly gentlemen like Bob. Yes it’s for a price, and last I checked Policeman and Anesthesiologists (the laziest of all doctors) are paid too. Apparently one of the policemen who posts here-OK, it’s Kalifornia-makes enough for a house and a pool. Good for him.

 

There are alternatives to hiring Escorts (Masturbation, AOL, Starbucks). There are no alternatives to Doctors when one needs an appendectomy, or Policemen when unwary and certainly undeserving victims get their brains spilled on Cynthia St.

 

Fuckamarine, we don’t refuse your money no matter how much we enjoy ourselves, because if we did we wouldn’t have any income. Is that so hard to grasp? Should a Doctor refuse payment for eye surgery if the act gives him some sense of satisfaction?

 

By the way I may charge $200/hour, but I average less than $800/week. That’s not so much. I made more as an engineer.

 

It’s quite obvious that Kalifornia and Fuckamarine resent the fact that they feel they must “resort” to hiring escorts. Someday I’ll “have to hire”, and will most likely also be resentful. So I suppose I can’t fault them, even if they are obnoxious in their jealousy.

 

I resent the fact that 27-33 year olds are still being referred to as “older”. Fuck That. We’re younger than most of the population, and our age is averFUCKINGage for escorts likely to stay in the biz long enough to become established and respectable. So knock it off.