Is it offensive to say straight looking and straight acting ?

[Michael Wayne]

Some escorts in their ads use the term, "Straight looking and straight acting," to describe themselves. Are they, as gay men, insulting themselves? It is one thing for a straight gay for pay guy to go on about his straightness and masculinity, etc. but should we as gay guys give in to the very narrow stereotype? #1. What does a , "Straight," guy look or act like? #2. If you are gay: does the use of these terms offend you? I hear these exact words ALL THE TIME from clients about me and they are meant to be a compliment but I, as a gay man, am offended a little on some deep level. Should I be? I mean I don't tell the client I am offended. I just say that I hear that alot but i don't really know what it means. It is like the client is saying that I won't be with you if you are gay looking or gay acting. Well, WHAT DOES A GAY MAN LOOK LIKE OR ACT LIKE? aLSO, IS there something intrinsicly wrong with being gay? NO!!!! I know alot of masculine gay men with hairy chests and deep voices and I know alot of straight men who have high voices , shaved chests and act feminine. Down with the stereotypes and let's all just be human beings. end of sermon(lol) rev. Mike

[Rick Munroe]

Yeah, it's as offensive as telling an articulate black man that he's "white acting." I'm totally with you on this, Mike. And the only way to try to end it is to keep talking about it.

[Guest]

Yes, "straight-acting" is offensive--and "stupid-sounding"--to me. If you mean to say "masculine," just say "masculine." Straight-acting is when Neil Patrick Harris portrays a heterosexual character in a movie or on TV.

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/3300000/NPH-neil-patrick-harris-3302264-1024-768.jpg

[Guest]

And here's Chad Allen, a gay guy playing a masculine gay character along with co-star Sebastian Spence, a straight guy play a less masculine gay guy...

http://www.nowhavefun.com/celebritypictures/d/35268-1/29+Chad+Allen+pic.jpg

[Guest rodeo]

Yes, "straight-acting" is offensive--and "stupid-sounding"--to me. If you mean to say "masculine," just say "masculine." Straight-acting is [/url]

 

Masculinity is a factor, but from what I've read, some gay men are turned on by the idea of being a straight man who likes to play with other straight men. Being with a man who "seems" straight allows them to maintain this fantasy.

[+ purplekow]

I don't think anyone has a problem with men being attracted to other men who would not be selected out as being gay by most people but rather just the terminology straight acting and its implications. I do not have difficulty hearing the term straight acting as it seems a short hand but since I love the sound of my own voice, I rarely if ever use straight acting when I can say: "I am looking for a muscular man who most in society would not readily select out as enjoying homosexual activity but who in reality indulges that aspect of his personality with regularity and fortitude." My main objection to straight acting is that I am not looking for a man who is acting at anything , I am looking for a man that is comfortable in who he is and does not act.

[EZEtoGRU]

As a 100% gay man, I don't find the term "straight acting" offensive at all. However, I do understand how some others would have an issue with it. I really don't use the term myself, but it does not bother me in the least when others do. I agree with another poster, that a better term is probably "masculine".....which is a term I use allot in describing what I like.

[Guest Merlin]

"Straight acting" is mildly offensive, and "masculine acting" would be preferable, but masculinity is sometimes carried to an extreme, as in leather, chains, exposed chest and butt. So, if a client wants to appear in public with an escort who blends in and will not appear gay, perhaps 'straight acting" serves a valid purpose.

[Samai139]

I think Purplekow said all that needs to be said on this topic and he said it extremely well. Well, one small addition: perhaps it's the "acting" part of the label that needs to be dropped---maybe if you have to have a term---use "straight-appearing?"

[JT Brooklyn]

The subject of using "Straight" as a "Marketing Term" has been discussed before and it seems to depend on whether or not a Client reading the AD like's them "Butch" or Not!

 

I know there are those that will say plenty of Straight Guys are "effeminate" BUT they are NOT Advertising their "wares" are they?

[Guest Rich.]

I find words such as 'straight' and 'masculine' moveable feasts.

 

Is 'straight' offensive? It might well be, if it bothers you that it was used to describe the opposite of 'bent'. How about 'gay'? Are all homosexuals expected to be joyful, light-hearted, carefree? I can't imagine a teenage same-sex-attracted Goth enjoys the label. How about 'queer' which got re-appropriated, 'butch' or 'bitch' which pre-dated top or bottom?

 

For me, 'straight-acting' means you're capable of appearing very ordinary, a regular guy that doesn't stand out in a crowd of heterosexual men. It's not exactly an exciting definition for a Sex-God-For-Hire, is it?

 

For me, 'masculinity' is as hard to define as 'glamorous'. The best answer I can come up with is that 'I know it when I see it'. How about a guy dressed head-to-toe in leather, does it make you melt with desire for such a real man or do you laugh and think 'raving Queen'? Oh, and how about 'poof', a label oft applied to the metrosexual David Beckham? He's a footballer, married with children, and has been known to bleach his hair, wear a sarong and paint his nails pink. Oh, and he sounds like Kermit. Does he live up to the hunky, straight, boy-next-door fantasy for you?

 

Just my 2¢.

 

Richard

[+ glutes]

That's right RichboiNOTbn, bend it like Beckham to reach your goal!

[Guest Rich.]

Fantastic Glutes, LMFAO!

 

Richard

[Guest Rich.]

Hey Seeker630, my Hero!

 

However, I have to leap to Glutes defense (pun intended), there was a film called Bend It Like Beckham, doubt it got much exposure over your side of the pond.

 

Best.

 

Richard

[seeker630]

Hey Seeker630, my Hero!

 

However, I have to leap to Glutes defense (pun intended), there was a film called Bend It Like Beckham, doubt it got much exposure over your side of the pond.

 

Best.

 

Richard

 

Sorry, Rich - I deleted my response to glutes typical comment because it seemed a waste of virtual breath - glutes has his obessions and nothing is going to change that

 

And any comment probably just feeds it.

 

(and yes, I did get the movie reference

[body2body]

I was in a chat room years ago where someone arrived and described themselves as "straight acting". Someone imediately asked "when are you more straight acting, when you have a dick in your mouth or when you have one stuffed up your ass". That sums it up for me.

[+ glutes]

(and yes, I did get the movie reference

 

Ahh, but did you get the humor?

 

(footnote to Rev. Mikey / Pastor Nola: shouldn't you be getting ready for vespers?)

[seeker630]

Ahh, but did you get the humor?

 

(footnote to Rev. Mikey / Pastor Nola: shouldn't you be getting ready for vespers?)

 

Perhaps not all of it! I deleted my post quickly because of the possibility that it WAS off the mark; unfortunately, Rich saw it first.

[Rick Munroe]

I don't think anyone has a problem with men being attracted to other men who would not be selected out as being gay by most people

 

You just hit exactly what the problem is. "Most people" have an idea of what a gay male acts and looks like because of antiquated, negative stereotypes, reinforced by images on TV, in movies, etc. It's that stereotype that needs to be shattered, and then "most people" won't be able to tell who's gay or straight just by the way they act or look. As it should be.

[Rick Munroe]

For me, 'straight-acting' means you're capable of appearing very ordinary, a regular guy that doesn't stand out in a crowd of heterosexual men.

 

But that's just the problem: many, many (if not most) gay men are "ordinary" and "regular," as opposed to the image everyone has in their head that all gay males are fabulous and glamorous, like those portrayed on "The A-List." It's this stereotype that needs to be stamped out, as stereotypes are historically used to oppress.

[mansniffing]

Like beauty, it all depends on the eye of the beholder. From my point of view: If it's true--fine--if not--he gets demerits.

[uwsman2]

I think that in an escort ad, the term "straight acting" would probably be interpreted by most readers as meaning that the individual in question does not act in accord with societal stereotypes of swishy queens. It's just short-hand. Some may find it offensive, but I don't.

[Rick Munroe]

I think that in an escort ad, the term "straight acting" would probably be interpreted by most readers as meaning that the individual in question does not act in accord with societal stereotypes of swishy queens. It's just short-hand. Some may find it offensive, but I don't.

 

So you would also have no problem with an articulate black escort being described as "white acting"?

[orbital sander]

So you would also have no problem with an articulate black escort being described as "white acting"?

 

Or how about someone referring to a guy as "gay acting"...

[down_to_business]

Personally I don't have any issues with the terms, but I understand some do and respect their reasons why. If there was a more PC term, I would have no problem using it. Unfortunately, neither masculine nor butch means the same as straight-acting/appearing to me.