Jump to content

Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

Rick Munroe

By Rick Munroe
in The Lounge

This topic is 4933 days old and is no longer open for new replies.  Replies are automatically disabled after two years of inactivity.  Please create a new topic instead of posting here.  

Recommended Posts

Guest greatness

Guest greatness

Posted
Posted

oh my

 

oh my you got me there.. Kisses and hugs~~ :)

 

like "The Onion", this is a joke....after all, it's Dead Serious News!...check the other serious news at the site!.....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
leigh.bess.toad Mentor

leigh.bess.toad

Posted
Posted

OK Guys -- Seriously, time to embarrass LBT a bit. Wallflower that he be. A variation on the same theme -- sort of. I could use your "advice", recommendation, experience, laughter, finger pointing, name calling, and generally frivolity.

 

I haven't flown on a commercial plane since shortly after Orville and Wilbur landed not too far here in Kitty Hawk (here, Kitty, Kitty). Actually, it's been since before 9-11. Two of my favorite words in the English language are Road Trip. I love driving.

 

However, this coming Thursday, the world will come to an end because I will take to the air. Unlike our apocryphal victim in the story, I don't have P.A.'s (god that gives me the willies thinking about it). However, I do normally wear my cock ring 24/7. How freaked out would a TSA agent be by that. One more tidbit of info -- I'm going to set off their metal detectors anyway. Since the last time I flew, I have had both hips replaced so they will light them up like a Christmas Tree anyway. So is it too much to keep my beloved ring around my cock or should I swallow my pride and put it in carry on. Or wear it as an ear ring? Since I'm going to set the damned thing off, cock ring or not, any thoughts on just leaving it on anyway? But the purpose of the trip does dictate that it at least accompany me on the flight in some manner.

 

Likewise, I've never flown with other fun toys in carryon as well. Any idea how they will react to items such as dildos and/or butt plugs and things of that ilk showing up on the scanner? Will they be confiscated? Now if they try to confiscate my cock ring they'd better have Lorena Bobbitt on staff to get it off because that would be the only way it would be coming off.

 

Go ahead and start the guffaws and tee-hee's now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest greatness

Guest greatness

Posted
Posted

oh my

 

Don't worry Lee you should be fine. I think you should not wear it as an earring at least. Don't you think it's too big for that. But you can put in your bag. Once you pass the security. I guess you can put it on. I hope you have a safe trip.. Kisses and hugs~~~

Link to comment
Share on other sites
instudiocity Mentor

instudiocity

Posted
Posted

Go with the metal. TiSA is going to pat you down anyway because of the hips. So what if you set off the hand-held scanner, left, right and center. Just remember it's a SGPD - Same Gendered Pat-Down, or as I like to call it, a "Should Get Plumped Downhere".

 

The luggage scanners go off most frequently on me with there is metal/metallic objects involved. TSA was far more interested in the metallic handle of my hairbrush than my dildo.

 

One last thing, all carried on liquids have got to be in a 1 quart transparent baggie. Lube included. And none of those items can hold more than 3.3 ounces (100ml) when they were full. You can't argue a 5 ounce bottle 1/2 full is under the limit. They can't reason that far. Be sure you don't lose the lube!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
azdr0710 Grand Master

+ azdr0710

Posted
Posted
Not with who I'm seeing. That would hurt.

 

A lot!

 

Lee.....have you thought about checking all the questionable stuff?.....re: the pat-down: I forgot I had my simple little knee brace with some metal stays in it on last time (a couple weeks ago) and was patted-down....strangely, they only asked to see it, so I pulled up my jeans leg so the very bottom of it showed....good enough for them, despite the fact I could've had a knife slipped in it....they did not ask to see it any more than the very bottom of it still around my knee......is that normal?....maybe because I didn't seem suspicious?.....

 

as said, make sure you have all your liquids in small containers and in a clear zip-lock bag!!!!.....take your toilet kit out of your carry-on and set it out separately in the bin!!.....shoes off!!.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rick Munroe Mentor

Rick Munroe

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Since I'm going to set the damned thing off, cock ring or not, any thoughts on just leaving it on anyway?

 

Leave it on! You've got nothing to be ashamed of. There are no TSA rules against wearing jewelry on your cock. Go for it. I sure would.

 

Any idea how they will react to items such as dildos and/or butt plugs and things of that ilk showing up on the scanner? Will they be confiscated?

 

We once had a female TSA agent pull a large butt plug out of one of our bags. It was wrapped in a plastic bag but she pulled it out of that bag & held it in her hand & asked, "What's this?" I replied, as loudly as I could, "It's an anal sex toy!" OMG...she dropped it in disgust, got a look on her face that said, "I'm going to vomit" and literally ran away, leaving another (laughing) worker to finish checking our stuff. It was priceless. Ever since, each time we fly, I'm always waiting for a repeat performance but it hasn't happened (yet). Again, go for it, Lee!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
leigh.bess.toad Mentor

leigh.bess.toad

Posted
Posted

We once had a female TSA agent pull a large butt plug out of one of our bags. It was wrapped in a plastic bag but she pulled it out of that bag & held it in her hand & asked, "What's this?" I replied, as loudly as I could, "It's an anal sex toy!" OMG...she dropped it in disgust, got a look on her face that said, "I'm going to vomit" and literally ran away, leaving another (laughing) worker to finish checking our stuff. It was priceless. Ever since, each time we fly, I'm always waiting for a repeat performance but it hasn't happened (yet). Again, go for it, Lee!

 

Thanks for the advice and hysterical laughter. I'm just so glad to see you were so compassionate to her. Because as I see it, there were 2 follow-up questions you could have asked her that would probably have sent her, along with a fair # of her co-workers to the loony bin. Asked immediately and without pause:

 

1. "Would you like to us to demonstrate how it's used?"

 

2. Then turn to anyone else waiting: "Would anyone like to volunteer to show this nice lady how to shove a butt plug up their ass?.

 

Of course a statement such as "I just took it out of my ass before I got in line" as she was holindg it would have been almost as priceless.

 

God I have such a nasty streak when dealing with stuffy bureaucrats. If I wasn't such a nice person, I could have come up with a plan that would have left her droolikng on a corner of her rubber room for the rest of her life. :)

 

Well at least I'm flying out of Newportt News VA so I wouldn't think it would be too busy getting through TSA. I mean the airport has 12 gates totals, 6 each on 2 concourses. My flight leaves about 8 AM. There are a grand total of 3 departures at the entire airport between 7 AM and 9 AM. And my flight is the only 1 on concourse A. Just checking, there are fewer than 75 seats taken on my flight as of now. So it shouldn't take but so long to clear TSA even at the worst case scenario.

 

And hell if they want to do a full cavity search, I will have a small cojntainer of lube with me. I found a 3.1 ounce of Wet Premium I bought last night for the trip. At my local Walgreens. I guess I wasn't used to looking for my silicone lube at my local drug store.

 

Your story and possibility it engenders has made my morning a blast. Thanks so much guys.

 

And I've been meaning to ask you guys -- do you ever travel to DC?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rick Munroe Mentor

Rick Munroe

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Of course a statement such as "I just took it out of my ass before I got in line" as she was holding it would have been almost as priceless.

 

LOL! Damn; why didn't we think of that? (Although, from the look on her face, I'm pretty sure that's what she assumed anyway!)

 

God I have such a nasty streak when dealing with stuffy bureaucrats.

 

Same here. Why is it so much fun to make them squirm??

 

Your story and possibility it engenders has made my morning a blast. Thanks so much guys.

 

Our pleasure...it's nice to find a like-minded nasty anarchist on the board. :p

 

And I've been meaning to ask you guys -- do you ever travel to DC?

 

A few times a year. We're long overdue for a return visit. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest greatness

Guest greatness

Posted
Posted

oh my Lee I will be arriving at JFK around 10 AM. If you are landing at the same airport, let's have our southern tea time. Kisses and hugs~~

Link to comment
Share on other sites
JoeyBryant Community Regular

JoeyBryant

Posted
Posted
We once had a female TSA agent pull a large butt plug out of one of our bags.

 

LOL, omg...but would you really want that attention on you in the airport LOL. That'd be so embarassing for me. That beats the time I opened my wallet in front of my attorney and a condom fell out...

 

As for the article...if its true I think its sad. I would think the TSA officer would be arrested, not the person they are practically fucking jerking off! Dumb Americans...(the system that is)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

Contact Info:

The Company of Men
5834 C. North Kings Hwy #4343
Alexandria, VA 22303

Email: moderators@companyofmen.org

Help Support Our Site

Our site operates with the support of our members. Make a one-time donation using the buttons below.

$10 $25 $50 $100 $200

Make a recurring donation

Additional Resources

×
×
  • Create New...