The gift topic again

[bamaguy]

I know the subject of gifts for escorts has been discussed before, but I'd like your opinion in relation to my situation.

 

I've invited my favorite escort to join me on a trip next week. We live in different parts of the country, so I don't get to see him regularly, but we have seen each other about once or twice a year for about 4 years (always overnight or longer).

 

Since I am taking him on a trip, and there are expenses associated with taking him there (I'm meaning admissions to attraction & shows, not just the standard air fare and meals), I consider that the trip is my gift to him.

 

However, after reading some of the posts from a few weeks ago, perhaps I should get an additional gift? What do you guys think?;-)

[Huey]

I must have missed the previous thread. So my answer to your question is based on my experience.

 

I have always asked the escort what he feels comfortable with. This way there are no shocks and escort or client don't feel that they're being "used."

 

Should you not be comforablte with what he expects then it's best to find out in advance, not after the fact

 

-----------

WAR IS OVER

if you want it

GIVE PEACE A CHANCE

[Will]

Sounds to me as though he's the one who should be giving you a gift. I don't think gift-giving is gift-giving if one feels that it's an obligation or an indirect form of payment. You're giving him this trip, after all. Why give him something else just to be doing it?

[+ Lucky]

You obviously don't feel right not giving an additional gift beyond the trip, so I would suggest that you do. Something worth about 10% of the cost of the trip.

Then, of course, if he performs exceptionally well, another, nicer gift would be in order.

Have fun! You will be with a very happy guy!

[alanalt]

Personally, I'm with Will. Maybe I'd get him a card or something along that line to 'mark' the occasion...

 

But it all really boils down to your 'comfort level' and what you feel is appropriate... Certainly nothing seems mandated here.

 

Alan

[Rick Munroe]

>Sounds to me as though he's the one who should be giving you

>a gift. I don't think gift-giving is gift-giving if one

>feels that it's an obligation

 

Call me a dumb whore (because it gets me hot) but aren't those 2 statements contradictory & hypocritical? How can you say gift-giving shouldn't be considered obligatory right after saying you think the escort "should be" giving him a gift?

[BigD]

>I read Will's post to mean:

>

>* The client is providing the escort with a generous trip

>and shouldn't feel like he has to provide something else on

>top of that and that, in any event, it isn't a gift if it's

>obligatory, and

......

>To my way of thinking, an escort who has accompanied a

>client on a multi-day trip, for free, and earned a hefty fee

>in the process, really ought to consider providing the

>client with a token of his appreciation.

>

>If the escort had a good time, it would simply be good

>manners to thank his host for his hospitality with some

>small gift, personally chosen with some care.

 

Hospitality?

He has hired an escort to accompany him on the trip.

The escort is taking the trip - "FOR FREE" - only because

the client is paying him for escort services.

This is not a trip of the escort's choosing, but of the client.

For this the escort should provide a gift?!

:o

[catnip]

>Call me a dumb whore (because it gets me hot) but aren't

>those 2 statements contradictory & hypocritical? How can

>you say gift-giving shouldn't be considered obligatory right

>after saying you think the escort "should be" giving

>him a gift?

 

It looks like being a dumb whore and a smart guy are not mutually exclusive. Good point!

[Flower]

>I've invited my favorite escort to join me on a trip next

>week. We live in different parts of the country, so I don't

>get to see him regularly, but we have seen each other about

>once or twice a year for about 4 years (always overnight or

>longer).

>

>Since I am taking him on a trip, and there are expenses

>associated with taking him there (I'm meaning admissions to

>attraction & shows, not just the standard air fare and

>meals), I consider that the trip is my gift to him.

 

Are you talking about a gift or a "tip." From most of the posts I've read here, they are either interchanging the two or confusing the two. A gift is from the heart--go with your feelings. When I give a gift, I don't worry about convention or proprieties--I go with how I feel since that is what it is expressing. As far as that other stuff you and others are talking about (the expenses along the way, etc.), that is really just standard fare for this type of adventure, admissions, tickets, and anythying else you ask him to accompany you to, so it is simply to be considered part of the deal.

 

In my opinion, a long time relationship, albeit business or whatever, doesn't require tips for the type of trip you are describing. And gifts aren't required either--so throw out the rule book--if you want to buy him a gift, do so and get whatever you like--if you don't, then don't -- it's that simple and he will be happy either way, ceterus peribus :9

 

Flower :*

[Cooper]

The best advice I can give you on gift giving is, if you give one, don't expect anything in return. Give it because you are a thoughtful/caring person and want him to have something special to remember this experience.

 

There is nothing wrong with giving a gift as long as it's given with all good intentions.

[Traveller]

A box of See's candy (at least a pound and an assortment of light and dark); an arrangement of silk flowers (of course, emphasizing autumnal colors); and a bottle of a nice California chardonnay. Make sure each gift is presented in fun, yet sophisticated, wrapping paper; have a personalized note for each gift (and to really show how much you care, use a different color felt tip pen for each one); and give the object of your desire the booty on a roof deck the night before you leave (preferable on a clear night with a full moon).

 

I hope this helps.

 

Later.

[Rod Hagen]

Don't fuck a gift whore in the mouth.

[Guest Bitchboy]

I'm a much better giver than receiver.

[Boston Guy]

>>Sounds to me as though he's the one who should be giving you

>>a gift. I don't think gift-giving is gift-giving if one

>>feels that it's an obligation

>

>Call me a dumb whore (because it gets me hot) but aren't

>those 2 statements contradictory & hypocritical? How can

>you say gift-giving shouldn't be considered obligatory right

>after saying you think the escort "should be" giving

>him a gift?

 

I read Will's post to mean:

 

* The client is providing the escort with a generous trip and shouldn't feel like he has to provide something else on top of that and that, in any event, it isn't a gift if it's obligatory, and

 

* The escort, who is being provided a trip (obviously in addition to payment for his time), might well want to provide a thank-you gift to someone who has been so generous with him.

 

 

To my way of thinking, an escort who has accompanied a client on a multi-day trip, for free, and earned a hefty fee in the process, really ought to consider providing the client with a token of his appreciation.

 

If the escort had a good time, it would simply be good manners to thank his host for his hospitality with some small gift, personally chosen with some care. If he didn't have a good time, he might still consider a small gift just in recognition of his host's efforts and expenditures on his behalf.

 

In any case, if he wants to continue being the recipient of future largesse with this client, he might well want to consider a small "gift", much the way many businesses thank good clients at holidays. A small amount of money spent on a personal gift might well mean a lot to the client.

 

BG

[+ Axiom2001]

I liked Flower's response. Invite the escort on this trip; you both enjoy each other and the overall experience. Give him a tight, wet kiss at the time that you depart!

[Guest lipstick]

Hey Guy,

 

It's hard to answer this question fully without some more info on your relationship with the 'scort.

 

By that, I mean some guys luv to get gifts all the time, and they accept them for the good-will and warm feelings that are the source (we hope) of gift-giving.

 

However, if your intention is more to impress the guy and somehow make yourself more endearing to him (and only you would know this), then you tread on rough waters, 'cause he may not return that endearment.

 

Then again, if he were to return the endearment as you want him to, then there's no problem, right?

 

If you are doing this because you see your relationship as a secret (and faux) boy-friend arrangement, and he DOESN'T wish to play along with that, then you're opening yourself up to disappointment.

 

I'm going from one extreme to the other because you haven't given us much info to go on. You're probably fine, and whatever you decide on will likely be appropriate since you guys have known each other for 4 years, which in "escort years" is pretty good, I'd say!

 

A good middle ground (if you're unsure about what to get) is to pick a gift from some of the places you'll be visiting. Could be a tacky souvenier, or if you're shopping at some high end gift places, well, the sky's the limit.

 

Also consider that if you two will continue to see each other, there will always be other opportunities for gift-giving, so it doesn't have to be an expensive gift; could very well just be one that reminds him of your trip together.

 

I guess that's what I meant when I started out by asking what the "intent" of the gift-giving was, 'cause we're all driven by different things: to show warmth, appreciation, or to impress our own ego, or to expect "something" back....

 

Thanks.

[Rick Munroe]

>I read Will's post to mean:

 

BG, it was pretty clear what Will meant. I was merely pointing out his hypocrisy. Take a deep breath & stop taking everything so literally.

[Rick Munroe]

>* The escort, who is being provided a trip (obviously in

>addition to payment for his time)

 

Are we sure about that? I didn't get that from the original post.

[Boston Guy]

>>I read Will's post to mean:

>

>BG, it was pretty clear what Will meant. I was merely

>pointing out his hypocrisy. Take a deep breath & stop

>taking everything so literally.

 

Clearly it couldn't have been "pretty clear what Will meant" if you saw hypocrisy and I did not and do not.

 

Sorry if you don't care for my comments, but you accused Will of being hypocritical and, just now, said "I was merely pointing out his hypocrisy". That's stating it like it's a fact -- and I don't especially care to let that stand.

 

Once again, I did not read what he said as intending any obligation on the part of the escort. Instead, I felt he was simply referencing what would be considered a customary pleasantness among friends in any other situation.

 

I think charges of hypocrisy are serious and shouldn't be slung around randomly or casually. People tend to take you literally when you do so.

 

BG

[Boston Guy]

>>* The escort, who is being provided a trip (obviously in

>>addition to payment for his time)

>

>Are we sure about that? I didn't get that from the original

>post.

 

Without payment, it's not an escort who's accompanying him; it's a friend.

 

BG

[Guest Ant415]

Hummm... In my business (not escort biz)... most service providers give me (the client) gifts.

[Chuck50]

Bama guy do it from the heart some will tell you yes and some will tell you no. The bottom line is it isn't expected or necessary. I can tell you it may make you a cut above or special with escorts. I have done it with my favorite. VEgas Boy Dave/San Diego Boy Dave. Went on two trips so far one to Disney World Orlando for 5 days and another for 7 day cruise for my Bday and gave him a few gifts each place, that is me but because he is so special. Also went to Vegas this past year and celebrated his Brady's Bday and gave them both some extra gifts many small tokens( But it is the thought that counts) some would and some won't it's up to you. I will take Dave in two weeks to celebrate his Bday(wont tell you which one you know escorts big secret)in a nice Texas town and yes there will be many more little gifts. Do I have to no , do I want to yes. That is me , not you or anyone else. Do it from the heart and not the pocketbook and you will see. HUGS Chuck

[Guest YFSC]

>>Sounds to me as though he's the one who should be giving you

>>a gift. I don't think gift-giving is gift-giving if one

>>feels that it's an obligation

>

>Call me a dumb whore (because it gets me hot) but aren't

>those 2 statements contradictory & hypocritical? How can

>you say gift-giving shouldn't be considered obligatory right

>after saying you think the escort "should be" giving

>him a gift?

 

Rick, it seems to me that Will's comment is just a normal elliptical remark which in context pretty clearly means

 

"(IF there's gift giving going on,) sounds to me as though he's the one who should be giving you a gift (because you are already giving him an all-expense-paid trip)."

 

I take the "should" as referring to "what would be more appropriate" rather than "what someone is obligated to do". That's the way people speak, and that's the way I took Will's comment when I first read it (even before I got to your comment), and that's still the way I take it after reading your comment and the subsequent remarks. That doesn't strike me as either contradictory or hypocritical. And at worst it might be taken as contradictory or confused (although I don't think so), but I don't see that it can be called hypocritical. That's a pretty strong accusation and implies intent.

[Guest YFSC]

>Hospitality?

>He has hired an escort to accompany him on the trip.

>The escort is taking the trip - "FOR FREE" - only because

>the client is paying him for escort services.

>This is not a trip of the escort's choosing, but of the

>client.

>For this the escort should provide a gift?!

>:o

 

Nobody in this thread is saying that anyone, escort or client, is obligated to provide a gift. Everyone on both sides is saying that there is no obligation.

 

You said the magic words:

>the client is paying him for escort services.

Right. The escort (we presume) is getting paid his customary fee, and is not being expected to provide escorting services in return for the trip. (If he's not getting paid, he's going along as a friend, not in his professional capacity as an escort.) Over and above his escorting fee he is getting a free trip. A perk of the job, and a fairly expensive one. The client *COULD* have hired him and had him sit around in his house for the same amount of time, but instead is taking him somewhere presumably nice. It's fairly normal for people to express gratitude for something like that, often by giving a small gift as a token of their appreciation. Note I said "normal" not "required." Clients might do it with escorts who have given them particularly good service, escorts might do it with clients who have been particularly nice or particularly generous to them, and friends who are just being taken along for a free trip might do it. *IF* they want to. *IF* they choose to express their appreciation in that way.

 

Of course, if the trip *IS* the "payment" for the services that's different. Since the trip is then not something "extra" over and above the fee there would not be the same motivation for gratitude (though the escort might still choose to express gratitude, especially if the trip was enjoyable).

 

You almost make it sound like taking the trip is an unpleasant onerous duty and that there's no reason to be appreciative.

[Rick Munroe]

>I think charges of hypocrisy are serious and shouldn't be

>slung around randomly or casually. People tend to take you

>literally when you do so.

 

That is just so hypocritical of you to say that.