Friday Funnies

[AdamSmith]

And the worse moment when you realize...."Yes. Yes I do."

If anybody actually believes and accepts that, he is indulging what Arthur C. Clarke identified in his Profiles of the Future as either a failure of imagination, or a failure of nerve.

 

Grow a pair, construct the reality you want, and move in.

[bigvalboy]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1794427754140043

[Zman]

http://img.image-storage.com/2029185840/cb0f51a976664.jpg

[Kevin Slater]

http://img.image-storage.com/2029185840/cb0f51a976664.jpg

 

Hole isn't nearly large enough.

 

Kevin Slater

[beachboy]

Hole isn't nearly large enough.

 

Kevin Slater

Maybe they do an XXL size!!

[Kevin Slater]

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. They are box seats plus airfare and hotel accommodations. He didn't realize when he bought them that it's the same day as his wedding, so he can't go.

 

If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church in New York City at 5 PM. Her name is Donna. She'll be the one in the white dress.

 

Kevin Slater

Edited December 30, 2016 by Kevin Slater

[Kevin Slater]

Kevin Slater

[rvwnsd]

http://31.media.tumblr.com/7dc93e728e3790b0f9ebc261b4f21377/tumblr_mxypv3IGab1s6vo7to1_400.gif

[+ azdr0710]

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. They are box seats plus airfare and hotel accommodations. He didn't realize when he bought them that it's the same day as his wedding, so he can't go.

 

If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church in New York City at 5 PM. Her name is Donna. She'll be the one in the white dress.

 

Kevin Slater

 

reminds me of this classic from Brad Paisley....great lyrics, as usual

 

[mike carey]

#Straya

 

Warning: Not everyone will think this is funny.

[instudiocity]

reminds me of this classic from Brad Paisley....great lyrics, as usual

 

I'd do Brad and let him do me. He's CUTE!

[rvwnsd]

http://www.newyorker.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/120109_cn-cheer-up_p465.jpg

[rvwnsd]

http://comicsidontunderstand.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/bc.png

[rvwnsd]

[AdamSmith]

Warning: Not everyone will think this is funny.

My ex for instance. He was one time at a friend's house taking a poop. It turned out to be a big one, he decided he'd better flush mid-go to guard against clogging the antiquated toilet -- and the water unexpectedly rose to engulf more than the tip of HIS dangling snake!

 

He came home and told me the story in the most disgusted tone I'd ever heard him use. It had me laughing the rest of the day. (This still being the good first half of our relationship, that was the expected & acceptable reaction.)

[TruHart1]

Horsing around with Philosophy 101:

 

TruHart1

[Kevin Slater]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?"

 

Kevin Slater

[+ azdr0710]

http://www.horsehead.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/horse-pun-3-300x237.jpg

 

 

http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201501_2311_ccgdc_sm.jpg

 

http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Funny-jokes-6-Plastic-Horses.jpg

 

http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201604_1238_gbgid_sm.png

 

http://jokes4laugh.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Horse-Jokes-4.jpg

 

http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/94027435gfhhg_sm.jpg

[AdamSmith]

 

TruHart1

GROAN

"Putting the Hoss before the Cartright."

 

-- Red Skelton

 

P.S. Of course that should be "Putting the Cartwright before the Hoss."

 

Fruits of posting while asleep.

Edited January 3, 2017 by AdamSmith

[+ glennnn]

A horny stallion walks into a gay bar and says, "I'm looking for the guy that keeps saying, "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!"

[+ quoththeraven]

#Straya

 

Warning: Not everyone will think this is funny.

 

It's funny as long as you're not the one using that toilet.

[+ quoththeraven]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?"

 

Kevin Slater

 

*groan*

[geminibear]

[TruHart1]

Alabama Walmart Mistakenly Stocks Gun Counter With “Gun Oil” Lube

http://imageslogotv-a.akamaihd.net//uri/mgid:uma:image:logotv.com:10972208?quality=0.8&format=jpg&height=495&width=660

 

http://www.newnownext.com/alabama-walmart-mistakenly-stocks-gun-counter-with-gun-oil-lube/10/2015/

 

TruHart1

[whipped guy]

Alabama Walmart Mistakenly Stocks Gun Counter With “Gun Oil” Lube

http://imageslogotv-a.akamaihd.net//uri/mgid:uma:image:logotv.com:10972208?quality=0.8&format=jpg&height=495&width=660

 

http://www.newnownext.com/alabama-walmart-mistakenly-stocks-gun-counter-with-gun-oil-lube/10/2015/

 

TruHart1

Not as funny but I was recently in Walmart and the display was sold out of the small battery that I use for my kitchen scale. I asked an employee if there might be other displays in the store with batteries. He paused for a moment and said, "Yes! They sell batteries in the automotive department." I thanked him and started to head In that direction, but stopped and said to myself, "How stupid... You know damn well what type of batteries they sell there!" So I left the store.

 

After reading the above, perhaps I should have given the automotive department a shot. I should have checked out the gun section which is adjacent to it as well!!!!