Ajac Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 [MEDIA=twitter]1247560818163691525[/MEDIA] Dogs better not be in your room when you pop a sleeping boner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ajac Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 Gman made me cry damn it RealAvalon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCClient Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 [MEDIA=twitter]1257421813228933120[/MEDIA] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveOrDavid Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 oops Oops OOPS [MEDIA=twitter]1257690638872727552[/MEDIA] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 [MEDIA=twitter]1257421813228933120[/MEDIA] He's a good dancer. But why am I getting the impression his club is located in the 1970's? Gman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 Victoria Police are managing to maintain their sense of humour. [MEDIA=twitter]1258303611097890816[/MEDIA] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveOrDavid Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 Addicted or A Dick Did / Wishful Thinking [MEDIA=twitter]1258853536009502720[/MEDIA] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 Not much to do these days but choke the chicken.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 Clintbr 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ oldNbusted Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 (And for the skeptics, this is not forced perspective, that sign was really at the entrance to the cemetery for over a week) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wsc Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 German Chancellor Angela Merkel sought relief from the pressures of her office by engaging in a solitary car trip through neighboring countries. As she approached a border, she joined the line of vehicles waiting to leave Germany and enter France. As she waited, Merkel saw a young French border agent approaching and carrying a clipboard packed with official forms. The young man leaned to ask Merkel the short and simple question, "Occupation?" The German Chancellor responded: "No, just visiting this time." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ poolboy48220 Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 German Chancellor Angela Merkel sought relief from the pressures of her office by engaging in a solitary car trip through neighboring countries. As she approached a border, she joined the line of vehicles waiting to leave Germany and enter France. As she waited, Merkel saw a young French border agent approaching and carrying a clipboard packed with official forms. The young man leaned to ask Merkel the short and simple question, "Occupation?" The German Chancellor responded: "No, just visiting this time." There's a similar joke about an American commercial pilot landing in a German city, and the controller complained that the pilot apparently wasn't familiar with the airport's runway configuration. The pilot replied "The last time I was in Berlin was during the war, and we were just dropping off, no need to land". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 A Doctor's Typical Day On A Corona Virus Ward: A lot of people have been asking me what it's like being on the COVID wards in the hospital, so I figured I'd share what a typical day looks like for me: 6am - Wake up. Roll off of my pile of money that Big Pharma gave me. Softly weep as it doesn’t put a dent in my medical school loans 6:30am - Make breakfast, using only foods from the diet that gives me everlasting life by avoiding all fats, sugars, carbs, and proteins. For details buy my book and check out my shop. 7am - Get to work, load up my syringes with coronavirus before rounds. 8am - See my patients for the day. Administer the medications that the government tells me to. Covertly rub essential oils on the ones I want to get better. 9:30am - Call Bill Gates to check how 5G tower construction is going, hoping for more coronavirus soon. He tells me they’re delayed due to repairs on the towers used to spread the Black Plague. Curse the fact that this is the most efficient way to spread infectious diseases. 10am - One patient tells me he knows “the truth” about coronavirus. I give him a Tdap booster. He becomes autistic in front of my eyes. He’ll never conspire against me again. 11am - Tend to the secret hospital garden of St. John’s wort and ginkgo leaves that we save for rich patients and donors. 12:30pm - Pick up my briefcase of money from payroll, my gift from Pfizer for the incomprehensible profits we make off of the free influenza vaccine given every year. 1pm - Conference call with Dr. Fauci and the lab in Wuhan responsible for manufacturing viruses. Tell them my idea about how an apocalypse-style zombie virus would be a cool one to try for the next batch. 2pm - A patient starts asking me about getting rid of toxins. I ask her if she has a liver and kidneys. She tells me she knows “the truth” about Big Anatomy and that the only way to detoxify herself is to eat nothing but lemon wedges and mayonnaise for weeks. I give her a Tdap booster. 2:45pm - Help the FBI, CIA, and CDC silence the masses. Lament the fact that I can only infringe on one or two of their rights. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow. 4pm - One of my rich patients begins to crash. Laugh as I realize I’ve mismatched her spirit animal and zodiac moon sign. I switch out the Purple Amethyst above her bed for a Tiger’s Eye geode. She stabilizes. I throw some ginkgo leaves on her for good measure 6pm - Go onto YouTube and see coronavirus conspiracy videos everywhere. Curse my all powerful government for how inept they are at keeping people from spreading “the truth” 6:10pm - Go onto Amazon and see that a book about “the truth” is the #1 seller this week. Question the power of my all powerful government. Make a reminder to myself to get more Tdap boosters from the Surgeon General next time we talk. 7pm - Time to go home. Before I leave, sacrifice a goat to Dr. Fauci and say three Hippocratic Oaths. 9pm - Take a contented sigh as I snuggle under the covers made of the tinfoil hats of my enemies, realizing that my 4 years of medical school and 3 years of residency training have been put to good use today. Gman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ sam.fitzpatrick Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 At the store there was a Big X by the register for me to stand on... I've seen to many Road Runner cartoons to fall for that one. prof, Kevin Slater and RealAvalon 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wsc Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 Rene Descartes, the French philosopher, was sitting at an outside table of a Paris coffeehouse. A waitress came by with a fresh pot and asked, "Would you like more coffee, monsieur?" Descartes responded, "No, I think not," then -Poof- he disappeared. + BlueSky 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ poolboy48220 Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 I had to google hot-desking. Apparently that was the plan for our company's new building (planned occupancy date late 2020, most probably delayed). Now we're hearing hints that working from home may be the new norm, permanently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wsc Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 In a town down South, where eccentricity may be viewed as a charming oddity, if not actually embraced, there lived an old woman, probably in her eighties. She was slight of build, with gray and curly hair, and wandered around wearing scuffs on her feet and an old-style housecoat with nothing underneath. She would stroll some days through her neighborhood and “entertain” those she encountered by lifting and holding up her housecoat and exclaiming “Superpussy!” On such days, one victim after another was exposed to her show and shown her “Superpussy!” Old and younger, singly and in pairs, people were treated to her “Superpussy!” show. One day the woman came upon an old man being pushed in his wheelchair by a caregiver. The old man, somewhat thin and frail, was bald on top and wore thick, wire-framed glasses. The woman, true to her style, approached and stood before the man, lifting her housecoat and exclaiming “Superpussy!” The old man leaned forward in his chair, pursed his lips and squinted his eyes as he made a lengthy examination. When done, he relaxed back into his wheelchair and told the caregiver, “I’ll take the soup.” + sam.fitzpatrick 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ajac Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Addicted or A Dick Did / Wishful Thinking [MEDIA=twitter]1258853536009502720[/MEDIA] How do I download this to email? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveOrDavid Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 How do I download this to email? Hi, I'm not sure of the best way, but if you right click on the Twitter link there are a few options for copying the info. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ajac Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Hi, I'm not sure of the best way, but if you right click on the Twitter link there are a few options for copying the info. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Gar1eth Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 I was watching the first episode of NCIS. There was an actor well-known at the time for doing impersonations of George Bush. Here is Steve Bridges and "guest" at the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4N93jLVPIA Gman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BSR Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 You have to watch the video clip through to the end (less than 1 minute) [MEDIA=twitter]1260634366704848897[/MEDIA] wsc 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wsc Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 You have to watch the video clip through to the end (less than 1 minute) [MEDIA=twitter]1260634366704848897[/MEDIA] Sadly, been there … or close to it. Not a "finest hour" moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveOrDavid Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 (edited) Hey @samhexum thought of you and your signature when I heard the song playing that the guy is attempting to sing and annoy the lady [MEDIA=twitter]1261324239669530624[/MEDIA] Edited May 15, 2020 by DaveOrDavid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now