Attitudes about escorts

[Guest jwraustin]

After having been an escort for some time, I forget just how the general public views escorts. I think that we get very comfortable with our work, and forget about the "misconceptions" the public has about us. That is: People who dont hire escorts, or have never hired escorts before, or know an escort.

 

1. Escorts are desperate for cash, and will do anything for money that the client pays them to do.

 

2. Escorts are either drug users, or mentally unstable people, or both.

 

3. Escorts will just sleep with the first person who comes along with cash. (Similiar to #1)

 

4. Escorts have aids, hiv, or some other weird sexually transmitted disease.

 

5. The only people who hire escorts are the desperate guys who cant pick up a decent trick.

 

6. Count your valuables before you go out with an escort.

 

7. AND NEVER invite them to your home, otherwise your friends will talk.

 

8. If escorts only had a good education, they wouldnt have to do this line of work (goes with escorts arent very smart)

 

9. Escorts never have to pay taxes on their income (Ask my CPA about my "personal services" sales I pay taxes on)

 

10. Someone not too long ago, met me at a party, and said "You are so short to be an escort", (I am 5'8")

 

11. All escort clients are fat, old, and bald. (Goes with #5)

 

12. If an escort is going to talk to you, and you dont know him, he is probably hustling you for something.

 

I forget that people have these ideas about escorts, but a recent encounter of mine with a client, reminded me that Most people are not comfortable with the concept of escorting, and have all sorts of very weird ideas about us and the work we do. I'd forgotten, but its good to be reminded about it from time to time. And get a good chuckle, too.

 

Anyone got any other items to post to this list. I would love to see it.

 

Thanks

 

Jon Dean

[BuckyXTC]

Hi Jon:

 

The misconception I would add to your list is this:

 

"That escorts are morally inferior to persons who don't escort."

 

I've been both saddened and amused by clients who hypocritcally denigrate escorts using terms they consider derisive like "whore", "hooker" and "prostitute" while never thinking of themselves as "johns" and what that might mean in the mind of "Joe Public".

 

The vast majority of escorts I have met personally have been very decent human beings. It is probably a reasonable assumption that there are a few escorts that are lower on the evolutionary scale than pond scum, just as the same would be true for some doctors, lawyers, clergy......the list could go on and on. Your list of misconceptions is a list of stereotypes, a list of prejudices. Sadly, such prejudices are deeply engrained in the human psyche. In his book, "The True Believer, Eric Hoffer quotes Adolph Hitler as saying "that if the Jews did not exist, we would have to create them." A fair number of folks have the pathological need to feel good about themselves by dumping on others who happen to be somehow different from them, hence the problems of racism, sexism, homophobia, religious fanaticism, and so forth. When someone arrives at the conclusion that he/she possesses the whole truth about life and how it should be lived, it's time to realize that evil is real and waiting outside our doors.

 

Perhaps the most profound statement of the 20th century came not from a politician or elder statesman or theologian, but from Rodney King: "Why can't we all just get along?"

[chrismac]

Jon,

 

I think you're right about those misconceptions. I would hope that most of the people who frequent this site, even if they don't hire, wouldn't hold these prejudices, but some may indeed.

 

I was glad to see you included misconceptions about clients as well. Another misconception some have (even some escorts) is that clients are married or in some sort of relationship. That doesn't apply to me, so my eyebrow (like Mr. Spock's) always rises when I read something like that. I'm sure many are - but not all.

[+ deej]

Interesting topic, but it doesn't apply only to escorts. It applies to "sex workers" across the board ... whether porn performer, escort, or "legitimate" sex surrogate trained/employed by a psychologist.

 

There is no arguing that the attitudes are there. Reading this board for more than a day or so will prove that!

 

Some people have an innate need to judge. They judge their grocery store, usually negatively. They judge their car dealer, usually negatively. They judge their employer, usually negatively. You see the pattern.

 

I'm very fortunate to have several wonderful people in my life as close friends who also happen to be sex workers. I've learned through them to cast aside the stereotypes and deal with them as humans. I think one of the reasons they're such great friends is because I *don't* buy into the stereotype and I *don't* judge.

 

If you just treat people as people, without judging, you'll have a happier life. Sadly, some people cannot do that.

[Guest mplsmn]

>>Some people have an innate need to judge. They judge their

>grocery store, usually negatively. They judge their car

>dealer, usually negatively. They judge their employer,

>usually negatively. You see the pattern.

>

>

>If you just treat people as people, without judging, you'll

>have a happier life. Sadly, some people cannot do that.

 

Bravo, Deej, sage wisdom! I feel personally enriched (even while spending money!) by having met some really top-notch guys, who were escorts I hired. Not merely the physical pleasure, but also in several cases the intellectual stimulation and some humor, too, of some great conversations from other perspectives. Numerous reviewers point out how they appreciate the hassle-free value in hiring vs cruising the bars,etc. I remember chuckling when a best-buddy proudly informed me that he had NEVER paid for sex. I pointed out philosophically that he really HAD PAID many times, when he bought dinner or even just a drink or a movie for a date. There is something of value in nearly all kinds of work and the key is to do it well, for your self esteem and for its value to others.

[Guest in yer face]

Heres another one:

 

"If an escort is in a relationship with a non-escort, he must be being kept"

 

Even people that do frequent escorts have these misconceptions, and I think many of them actually get off on it. I believe that many of these guys, especially the "twink chasers" have a background fantasy that they are this "big daddy" figure coming to save this poor unfortunate soul ,take his tight little body in his arms and rescue him (really, by fucking his ass). Once the hours up and hes gotten off, the fantsy stops.

[Rick Munroe]

And here's another one:

 

"If an escort shows pics of his hot ass, he's a total bottom."

 

That one is so unfair to those of us who just happen to be anally blessed. We can't help it.

[Guest alanm]

I know this is slightly off topic, but perhaps not. John Rutherford

of Falcon Studios gives amazing interviews about the amount of money

Falcon gives to AIDS-related charities each year. Falcon's founder institutionalized this practice. I would rather see that "extra" money paid to Falcon models and other employees at the studio. I have

nothing against AIDS charities and know that taxes would probably take a big bite (no pun intended) of the money. But, Rutherford's attempts to be accepted by San Francisco "society" are pathetic. Rutherford strikes me as a man who probably has a lot of the opinions about escorts and their clients mentioned by the OP.

 

I do interstand that most people are not that familiar with Falcon's business practices, so sorry if this is confusing.

[+ Charlie]

Actually, it seems to me that most escorts are 5'8" tall. When I have inquired at agencies about escorts who are taller than I am (5'11"), I am usually told that they are hard to find.

[CT Dick]

>1. Escorts are desperate for cash, and will do anything for

>money that the client pays them to do.

>

>2. Escorts are either drug users, or mentally unstable

>people, or both.

 

The main reason I was uncomfortable with the video "101 Rentboys" was that at least half of their guys were desparate. They didn't represent the kind of guys reviewed here.

 

Most escorts I have hired are in the position of being able to choose whether or not to be a sex worker, not sad character's acting out of need.

 

Dick

[woodlawn]

No doubt a lot of people think the things on your list are true of most prostitutes and clients, but I don't know whether they are right or wrong about those things and neither does anyone else. I don't know of any research that proves or disproves any of those things, and in the absence of research people can only talk about their own experiences. So whether those things are really 'misconceptions' is an open question.

 

And I use the word 'prostitutes' because that is the word for what I am talking about, people who accept money in return for having sex or sexual contact with the payer. As I understand it an 'escort' is someone who spends time with the client in return for money, and he or she may or may not have any sexual contact with the client depending on whether he or she wants to, but the payment gets made anyway because it is strictly for the time. If you read the reviews here it becomes obvious that few if any of the people who write reviews think that is the deal they are making.

[Bilbo]

As I've said before, the Aleuts, and many skiers, have many different words for the white stuff that comes out of the sky. It has to do with survival as well as pleasure. People who yelled, "It's all snow, you idiots!" were likely to fall through the soft pack, perhaps causing avalanches, since they saw more experienced people walking on hard pack without their snowshoes. }> :+

[Guest dstud4hire]

Great list! Yes, we do need to remind ourselves from time to time of the misconception, in the very least for a good laugh.

 

 

IN the course of 5-6 yrs of escorting part time, though most certainly since being on this site for almost 2, I have gotten to know either by phone, email, or actually met in person a number of you now (escorts and clients) and I will say, with regards to the escorts on this system, there are an amazing group of very diverse guy with a lot going on in their personal lives that are phenomenal, from their relationships to their varied interests. And with very rare exception, the myths in your list do not bear a strong resemblance to the reality.

 

Likewise, the clients I have met are wonderful, and certainly do not all fit into the pigeonholes that society seems to judge and place us all in......

 

interesting list....i think you covered it all! Thx for the cool thread!

[Gigiloz4me]

Prejudice breeds shame and defensiveness... let's not fall into that trap.

 

I believe the above prejudices reflect America's provincial attitudes toward sex in general. I also think these prejudices and judgements are uniformly applied across 'sexual behaviors' whether you are an escort or an unwed pregnant teen.

 

I resist the ease of sensing targeted persecution. If you're proud of what you do... live the pride and enlightened attitudes will follow.

[Guest ncm2169]

ahem...shouldn't that be "gluteusly blessed"??

[Rick Munroe]

>ahem...shouldn't that be "gluteusly blessed"??

 

You're right. But I'm also anal retentive. :+

[Guest seraph250]

I think woodlawn was making the point that we should use different words to refer to different things. Using the same word to refer to different things tends to cause confusion. Very few of the reviews posted here are about people who were hired to escort someone to a social event. Most are about people who were hired to have sex with the person who was paying, pure and simple. If he's saying that "escort" is a misnomer for most of the people reviewed here, he's right.

[Donnie]

>I think woodlawn was making the point that we should use

>different words to refer to different things. Using the

>same word to refer to different things tends to cause

>confusion.

 

Is that why you choose to post as woodlawn & seraph250? You must think it would cause confusion if you just stuck with posting as regulation.

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>Is that why you choose to post as woodlawn & seraph250? You

>must think it would cause confusion if you just stuck with

>posting as regulation.

 

Good for you - I was wondering if anyone was going to pick up on that.

He probably thinks he is being so clever. Doesn't he know that his speach patterns give him away instantly.

 

And how transparent can you get? Using one phoney name to praise his own words uttered under another phoney name.

 

Jeesh! Get a life.

 

Thunderbuns

[Guest SeaGuy]

There are all kinds of escorts or hos out there to go with all kinds of clients or johns. I think each escort seeks out and markets himself to a target clientele and each client seeks out whatever floats his boat if you will. From quick buck-quick fucks to male courtiers that make their clients feel like a million bucks and cost just about as much. Jan Wenner has his escorts, and some of the more price conscious "gentlemen", many participating in this forum have theirs. In the end though the escorts are just working boys who need to make a living in whatever way and style they can and the clients just need to get laid in whatever way and style they can and desire. :7

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

The Kettle Black

 

I think another misconception, even on this site, is between what services are often provided, wanted or needed by the clients.

 

For the last three months, I have taken to using the term "sensual intimacy" because it more precisely defines what I believe I can provide. I feel that, at least among some of the guys who may choose to come to us, they want or need something they cannot otherwise find. In many cases, it IS physical but what is sought is not purely an activity that leads to "release."

 

Sex is easy, even if you are not Mr. Munroe and simply reek of it. The reasons we may not have as much sex as we think we want have as much to do with attraction, culturally conditioned ideas of same and whatever factors for whichever reasons were seared into our minds during our formative years and which cause our "pistons to fire."

 

For example, a married man would have more opportunity for sex than a single one. If he is not actually having it, there are other reasons involved than OPPORTUNITY.

 

Gay men, especially once urbanized, tend to treat one another as pieces of furniture. If you are not at their level of attraction, if they do not want to sleep with you, they simply will not have anything to do with you. Plus all this is made MORE than clear to you.

 

A good "escort" or "companion" or "whore" - at least in my way of thinking - should do more than just provide you with a fantasy that gets you off. He is filling a need and want that you may not even understand is there, for physical and sensual intimacy and for an emotional bond, no matter how short lived, based on that physical and sensual intimacy.

[BuckyXTC]

RE: The Kettle Black

 

Franco:

 

I never cease to be amazed by the insights you provide us, and I'm grateful.

 

Your point about "urbanized gay males" is right on the mark. One of many reasons why I don't much care for the club/bar scene is that as soon as you walk through their doors, you are suddenly transformed into an object.....an object of attraction or repulsion. Not a helluva lot in between. Speaking of myself, I'm not the kind of guy that would draw much positive attention from the physical standpoint. I'm not saying I'm butt ugly or anything like that, just not a good example of the "beauty paradigm" that has existed for years and is alive and well today. Those who seek to get beyond externals to see who I am in most instances like what they find. I've often felt the notion of "gay sensitivity" is largely a mythical concoction. I've seen as much shallowness and superficiality among gays as I have in the rest of the human population. In the end, most if not all of us, if we live long lives, will leave this world pretty much the same way we came into it, helpless and drooling. It's who we choose to be in that in-between period that makes all the difference.

[Guest seraph250]

Some posters use this board to exchange opinions and ideas and some like you and your sidekick just like to throw shit at other people because you have nothing better to do. Whether you are calling someone else a fool because he doesn't know that Provincetown is in "Maine" or saying that someone should hurt the Pope because you don't like his position on wayward priests or accusing anyone you don't agree with of being regulation, it all comes from the same place. Hate is all you know, all you do, all you are.

[Guest newawlens]

>So whether those things are really

>'misconceptions' is an open question.

 

 

Fair enough, but I think the author's post and a couple of others here are valuable in pointing out how isolated some escorts and urban gay men in general can get from the mainstream. Point is, there are some dangers involved in forgetting how you are viewed by most of the people you live among.

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>Some posters use this board to exchange opinions and ideas

>and some like you and your sidekick just like to throw shit

>at other people because you have nothing better to do.

>Whether you are calling someone else a fool because he

>doesn't know that Provincetown is in "Maine" or saying that

>someone should hurt the Pope because you don't like his

>position on wayward priests or accusing anyone you don't

>agree with of being regulation, it all comes from the same

>place. Hate is all you know, all you do, all you are.

 

Gotcha! Knew you couldn't resist the temtation to bounce back in your new found identity. Bet the next post will be by Woodlawn, praising the wisdom of "your" words and agreeing that I am indeed hate personified.

 

But you got one little thing wrong Reg, baby. I don't hate EVERYBODY. I'm quite selective about who I put on that list. But don't worry - you qualify!

 

Thunderbuns