I'd Love To Kiss Ya ....but I just washed my hair

[Godiva]

I have an interesting dilema...I have been approached by 2 different groups of friends to room with them. I each case I would fill the remaining spot to fulfill lease requirements.

 

Situation #1...It is 4 guys "who happen to be gay". I have always lived on my own and I have always said that it is never a good idea to room with good friends because it usually ends bad. I have seen this happen to many others..

 

Situation # 2...It is 3 single straight women, a straight guy with a girlfriend. Same situation here althought a house full of women could be crazy...

 

In both situations they all know that I am gay..they all know each other and I know I will get grief either way I choose. My lease is almost up where I live so I have to make a choice..

 

I wonder if anyone here has live with a house full of "gay roomates"? is it any different than living with straight roomies..(I did that in college) In your own personal experiences or situations close to you..How did it work out?

 

I look forward to your valued opinions

 

PS..I can also continue to live alone...

 

 

G

[+ Lucky]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya ....but I just washed

 

Hi Godiva...I haven't your posts for awhile. I'd renew the lease!

[Rick Munroe]

DON'T DO EITHER ONE!

 

>PS..I can also continue to live alone...

 

There's your answer. How could you possibly think of giving up your privacy? Don't you want to continue to walk around your apartment naked with a hardon? (Or is that just how I live?)

[mmk]

RE: DON'T DO EITHER ONE!

 

Trust me Rick, all gay men who live alone walk around with a hard-on. (Then again if I lived with Derek I would have a perpetual hard on also)

 

Godiva, live alone!!!!! What are you, crazy? What advantage would there be to move in with either set of roommates? If you can afford to live alone then stay that way. I have lived alone for a decade and I cannot imagine having to share a bathroom with anyone. Would you be able to redecorate either apt. Probably not. You would be a slave to someone else's decor, and it might not be pretty decor at that.

 

Live alone Godiva, live alone.

[phage]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya ...

 

I’ve lived alone too long now to even consider anything else, but it’s that very thing you should think about. Getting stuck in your ways.

 

There are pros and cons to both arrangements. I love my privacy and having everything just the way I want it, but I look back at my days of having roommates and recognize that they were some of the best years of my life. Part of it was just being young, but part of it was all of the interaction and people you meet through your roommates. (Hot roommates have hot friends who come right to the house so you don’t even have to go looking for them.)

 

One thing I found was that living in a large place with several people (always gay men) worked out better than a smaller place with a single roommate. Something about the group atmosphere seemed to bring out the cooperation in everyone.

[Huey]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya ....but I just

 

My vote goes to live alone I think after living alone it would be hard to adjust to 4 or 5 others (gay, straight, man or woman). If you're considering this for financial reasons then you might want to renew your lease and look for "one" roommate to offset some expenses.

 

-----------

WAR IS OVER

if you want it

GIVE PEACE A CHANCE

[+ Axiom2001]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya ...

 

All of the advice requested is the advice that I would also give to you. I've lived alone for much of my adult life and could NOT have it any other way, now. My very best friend lived with me for over a year; he was good company, but when he moved, I told him that our frienship had become stronger. This same friend who has been with a partner for some twenty-five years asked me to move in with them after retirement.

I definitely vetoed this suggestion: it is slightly difficult for me to visit this couple for too long, let alone residing under the same roof for life. I like/love them dearly, but they should live together, and I shall continue to live solo and to visit them periodically.

 

As Rick alluded to in his terse response-- you have really answered your own query.

[Rick Munroe]

RE: DON'T DO EITHER ONE!

 

>Trust me Rick, all gay men who live

>alone walk around with a hard-on.

 

Tell them to call me. I'm so fuckin' hungry. :9

 

>(Then again if I lived with Derek I would have a

>perpetual hard on also)

 

If you lived with Derek, you'd constantly be pushed up against walls, bent over the kitchen table, thrown down onto the bed, and assaulted while you shower...the guy just loves to have his cock up ass. }>

[Guest Charon]

If you want to live with someone, get a cat

 

4 friends and I (all gay) bought a house together in our early 20s (we were all professionals working for ma bell).

 

It ended badly. I no longer have any contact with the one who was my best friend at the time.

 

My advice, live alone

[Guest SeaGuy]

RE: If you want to live with someone, get a cat

 

I'll add in my two cents along with everyone else's and agree that it is insane to live with other people with the possible exception of a boytoy servant.

[Paul Revere]

RE: If you want to live with someone, get a cat

 

I agree with the "live alone" advice. Either situation is bound to end badly.

 

The only advantge to choosing the gay room mates is that you would get better hair and make-up advice.

[+ Charlie]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya ....

 

Although I enjoy living alone for short periods of time, on the whole I prefer to live with someone else. However, the most important point is not the number, gender or sexual orientation of one's roommates, but what kind of people are they? Surely anyone who has watched MTV must be aware of what happens when you throw a group of people together in a living situation. If they are intelligent, neat, responsible individuals who are considerate of one another's needs, then why not do it? On the other hand, if they are selfish slobs who drag home questionable friends and sex partners, then living with them will be hell.

 

Why not try spending a week living with each group on a trial basis before making any decision?

[Godiva]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya ....

 

Thanxs Guys for the responses..Hey there Lucky, Rick, MMk...I am glad you guys are still around to continue to enlighten us all:-)

 

I am curious...outside of those of you who have partners..How many of you live alone?? Most of you have shared its good points..but what about the downside?? I have lived alone for about 12yrs and I am woundering if we share some of the same concerns.

 

Also..Are there any of you who are currently living in a household of gay men? How is it going?? Any advice to those who might be considering it??

 

 

G

[Guest 7Zach]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya ....

 

I have always preferred to live alone. Even when in a relationship and living with someone, I still wanted someplace to go off to, and I was essentially lucky enough to have that.

Since you're not in a relationship, I cannot fathom your wanting to move into a group house. Someone will always snag your milk, move your keys, want a different channel, and choose to have a party when you have the flu.

The downside is that if you get lonely, a roommate might make it easier. But for my money, lonliness has nothing really to do with living alone. It has more to do with either being a relationship or not, and a roommate could not give fill that void for me. So the key is if you're able to find comfort in living alone. And do these bouts (spell?) when you're feeling alone outweigh the whole sense of privacy and control over your living space. I shared an apartment in college for one year, and I couldn't wait to live in my own space.

Life is complicated and hard enough without having several other people making unilateral decisions about your home-life; and in a group house, they're too entitled to that freedom. I just couldn't stand it.

[+ Hoover42]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya ....

 

>I can also continue to live alone...

 

Your question brings up something that I’ve been thinking about, and I’ll toss it out here for comment.

 

When you live alone for a long time, isn’t there a danger of becoming so set in your ways that you run the risk of making yourself less able to live comfortably with someone later, say as part of a relationship?

 

I’ve lived alone for more than ten years, and I occasionally wonder if this is happening to me. I still hope to find a boyfriend before I reach retirement age.

 

I would hate to find myself slowly becoming the curmudgeonly eccentric of the neighborhood.

[+ Charlie]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya ....

 

My gay friends who have lived alone for a long time before settling into a relationship almost always have difficulty trying to live with their new partners. I have one friend who has now been in a committed relationship for almost a quarter century and has had a beautiful home with his lover for the past ten years, but he has to keep an apartment in another city that he goes to regularly, ostensibly to work, but really because he has to escape to be on his own for awhile, or the togetherness would smother him.

 

I, on the other hand, have never lived alone for longer than a year at a time, and have never had any problem living with a partner or friend. Some of the difference is probably a result of habit and conditioning, but I suspect a lot is also due to personality--many people live alone because that is how they WANT to live.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Live Without Him

 

Several non-flippant, non-Rick Munroe related thoughts:

 

First, it is good to see you back.

 

Secondly, one of the things I recall was that you posed interesting questions, sometimes it seemed, just to pose the questions, and others where you clearly wanted the answer.

 

I am going to work on the asumption that there is a reason why you are even considering these two possibilities. As Ann Landers and Dear Abby always point out, there are details here you have not provided and it might not be possible to give the best advice without them.

 

I had roommates or lived with someone until I moved out of my partner's home in Atlanta. I was unhappy at times in Atlanta because I was bored, unchallenged and often acting purely on that motivation. I also admit I love my privacy and I love having things set up the way I want them. I have had a string a house guest this summer, and while I am often glad they visit, I am thrilled when they leave or I tend to travel while they stay at my place, so kitty is fed and cared for and I can be a HO on the GO.

 

There are definite advantages to having roommates and you need to consider your own personality and temperment with respect to straight women versus gay men. I miss cooking for a large group of people and playing board games. Or reading to one another or telling stories. I only did things like that while visiting friends in Cape Cod or the Russian River. When I go to Palm Springs, all everyone wants to do is have an orgy....

 

I would add, given your signature, that you may no longer wish to live alone, but living with three or four other people may be 2 to 3 people too many.

 

Finally, in a perfect world, I would live with Derek Ross, except he would get bent over the trash compactor, shoved against the shower tile and held down over the stairway. As often as possible....

[chrismac]

RE: Live Without Him

 

I live alone and have in three different locations for the past 7.5 years. I seem to prefer it. I love privacy, and quiet time. I prefer reading to TV, so not having that noise in the background is nice. I also tend to be more accommodating than assertive, and roommate situations have in the past frustrated me over time, as I was not good at communicating and tended to placate and then seethe internally.

 

Like Franco, I also enjoy group get-togethers for cards, games, book clubs, or just dinner and conversation - but I can get that without living with people, and it seems true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I have always needed periodic, bordering on frequent, down times from constant contact with people.

 

Living with one person who is a life partner and lover would be one thing. Having roommates for the sake of company rather than a financial necessity is entirely another. I'd remain alone and visit both those groups of friends at your leisure. You can even offer to do the dishes. ;-)

[handyandy]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya..but I just washed my hair

 

>Situation #1...It is 4 guys "who happen to be gay". I have

>always lived on my own and I have always said that it is

>never a good idea to room with good friends because it

>usually ends bad. I have seen this happen to many others..

>

>Situation # 2...It is 3 single straight women, a straight

>guy with a girlfriend. Same situation here althought a house

>full of women could be crazy...

>

>In both situations they all know that I am gay..they all

>know each other and I know I will get grief either way I

>choose. My lease is almost up where I live so I have to make

>a choice..

>

>PS..I can also continue to live alone...

 

Sounds to me like you don't really want to live in either of those two situations. Maybe alone, maybe not alone, but not in the situations you describe. Otherwise you wouldn't have those doubts. Or grief from the living arrangement and grief from offending one set of friends by choosing the other. Avoid it all by continuing alone. Or find a roomie arrangement that you are less hesitant about.

[Guest Les]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya

 

Don't fags make you proud. :7

Not one had to ask the "quote" source!

[Rick Munroe]

RE: Live Without Him

 

>Several non-flippant, non-Rick Munroe related thoughts:

 

Just don't make a habit of it. :*

 

>...in a perfect world, I would live with Derek Ross,

>except he would get bent over the trash compactor, shoved

>against the shower tile and held down over the stairway. As

>often as possible....

 

It's been attempted, Franco, but the top(s) almost ended up with a bloody nose and a few busted ribs. You see, on his birthday a few years ago, I arranged for Derek to be gang-raped (while I watched & supervised...total control freak here). Well...I don't know how I talked him into it but I somehow got him tied down to the bed, spead-eagle. Then one by one, the guys I'd invited off of AOL (all twice his size & hung BIG...and all told they were going to be raping a top) arrived. Each time Derek heard the doorbell ring, he'd go, "What da fuck?!" and I'd snicker & go let 'em in. The first guy rolled on a condom & climbed on top of Derek's hot little muscle butt (after I'd "fluffed" him in the living room...not that I had to; Derek's ass is a major hardon-inducer...but I wanted some for myself) and was trying to get inside, while another guy went to put his dick in Derek's mouth...totally unaware that Derek had gotten one arm untied. That's when Derek started swinging at him. It was so fucking hot to watch! He just kept hitting the air, like King Kong breaking free of his chains, as that big muscular top jumped back in fear. To his credit, the first fucker was still trying to get inside but Derek was bucking like a bronco. The other 3 guys who were standing around in a circle stroking their dicks started to look concerned. One pulled me aside & asked if everything was OK. I was like, "Oh, yeah, he's loving it. It's cool." I was hoping he'd get into it. I guess I'd kind of forgotten that it was when we were in our early 20's that he'd had this rape fantasy, and I'd waited a bit too long to pull it off. I ended it right after that (well, sort of...I kind of blew them in the living room while birthday boy cooled down).

 

Anyway, Franco...keep this in mind if you think you're getting in Derek's butt. He loves to get rimmed but it's rare for anyone (besides me) to get inside. Sometimes I think Derek should be in that Brad Pitt movie Fight Club. He's as tough as I am sweet. I guess that's how we've managed to stay together so long.

[Rick Munroe]

RE: Live Without Him

 

>He's as tough as I am sweet. I guess that's how we've

>managed to stay together so long.

 

Oops...I was still editing that. I meant to say, "but we're both passionate men, and I guess that's how we've managed..." Hey, I just got rimmed and played with for 2.5 hours; I'm spent.

[mmk]

RE: DON'T DO EITHER ONE!

 

and there is a problem with Derek's habits? Seem perfectly normal to me.

[Rick Munroe]

RE: DON'T DO EITHER ONE!

 

>and there is a problem with Derek's habits? Seem perfectly normal to me.

 

It's exhausting!! He's the energizer fucker. Sometimes I'm like, "Can't I just go sit down at the computer for 2 minutes?" and I get one arm around my neck choking me, and the other reaching down to spread my butt further apart so he can get in deeper. :9

[mmk]

RE: I'd Love To Kiss Ya

 

Hey Godiva, I have lived by myself for a decade and if I could change it, I would not. Maybe I have missed out on stuff without having a roomate but right now, as I am typing this, I am blasting my stereo and not having to worry about disturbing anyone. Little things like that are things that I would miss and even though it would be nice to have someone to talk too every now and then or watch cheesey tv with, I am still glad I am living by myself.