Bad experience with an escort....

[cynicalflannelwearer]

I saw an escort the other evening at a hotel I was staying at that was well reviewed on men4rentnow.com, so I thought I would have a good time...boy, was I wrong.

 

He came over reeking of smoke, ok, so I did not ask him if he smoked when I was on the phone with him, my fault. But that wasn't the worst of it. While he had a nice body and was well endowed, his face was not what I would call attractive. My mistake for not requesting a face pic, but he said he does not put a face pic up because of security reasons.

 

Off to the bedroom where he turned off the light and turned down the air conditioning without asking and then proceeded to be very verbal and dominant with me, i.e, pulling my hair, calling me a bitch repeatedly, and shoving my mouth on his penis, and then shoving it down my throat several times to the point I was gagging and having to push him off me.He resisted and tried to keep gagging me.Then he started to and kept biting my nipples even after I told him I was sore and did not want him to. At one point, he put his hand on my mouth and told me to shush when I told him I was not enjoying it. At no point in this did I get an erection,because I was busy trying to stop him from biting me,gagging me, etc.Needless to say, I was not turned on at all.The worst part of this is when he pulled my hair and I fell off the bed and hit my head on the bedroom door. One more time I was gagging on his penis, and I knew he was about to cum so I pushed him off of me where he proceeded to ejaculate a second afterward on my shoulder. I feel that If i did not push him off me he would have ejaculated in my mouth without even telling me first.

 

He got up to wash off and use the bathroom, and then got ready to leave. I just wanted him out of here, so I paid him, had a little small talk, and he left.I am not sure why I did not express my dissatisfaction with him and what he did.

After he left I felt very used and humiliated. I want everyone to know that I DID NOT ask him to reenact a rape scene. I just asked for some kissing, oral and body contact when we talked on the phone. While I am not a small guy, I feel like this man had a few screws loose, and I don't think I wanted to piss him off by ending the session midway, although now that I think about it, I should of just stopped the session and offered him the money.

 

What could I have done differently? It all happened in about a 30 minute time span.I am very upset and feel that even at the tender age of 37, this could cause me some psychological problems, as If I didn't have enough to deal with.Thanks in advance for your opinions.

[doitb4ugo]

So Sorry!

 

First I want to say how sorry I am that you had such a bad experience. No one should have to go through what you did. My only advice is do not blame yourself for this. You were def. the victim of this guy....

 

It has often been discussed here that the best way to proceed with an escort experience is check the reviews here on Daddys. They can provide a good amount of information on what kind of experience you may have.

 

Also many guys in ths forum will cetainly agree that having a bad eperience with an escort is certaintly not unusual....Please don't let this unpleasant experience deter you....

[adriano46]

Ditto

 

I felt very bad reading what happened here.

 

A few months back, I had a very similar experience. I was in the Times Square area, and had the phone number of a guy very well-reviewed on Rentboy and RentMen as well as M4RN. I called him and he was available (his place) so I went up.

 

Place was great - clean, neat, comfotable one-room apartment in Hell's Kitchen. He looked like his photos, so no complaint there. I mentioned I was into vanilla sex, lots of kissing and cuddling. I used the bathrom to clean up a bit...

 

Then the nightmare began. This guy was VERY VERBAL, very dominant, and very much into having his toes and feet sucked - something I find awful (sorry). He was stretching my mouth around his big toes (hate the taste of feet and toenails ugh!!!). Tried every way possible to get him to stop the feet crap - but it was ALL he would do. No mutual sucking, no nothing.... I quickly faked orgasm (he was so into himself, he did not notice), washed up -- rinsed my mouth repeatedly -- and left. I was not there 30 minutes although paid for the full hour.

 

I felt like Cynical above - but fortunately met another guy in the area and had what I had originally wanted... (kind of like when you fall off a bike, getting back on). Now I insist on drawing the line with guys who do not follow my lead.

 

Oh - did not write a review because I noticed this guy had one bad review and really went on the attack - privately and publicly. In the past here, I once criticised an escort held in high esteem here by the moderators and members (one of the worst experiences I have ever had) and he went after me with private e-mails for weeks. I learned my lesson. I do post honest and up-front reviews, but am circumspect about those who are not so great,

[+ Chris]

I was reading these posts and found this to be exceptionally upsetting. I find that many times clients do need to expand boundaries. but i have never pushed a sexual preference or fetish onto a client without communicated first. I have had two negative reviews recently published and it was due to miscommunication. Be aware that no matter what, you are the client and its your desires and fantasies that should be met. If something starts to go wrong. stop and leave. Be safe.

[+ Tygerscent]

Professionalism

 

Something was missed here... YOU~ The Escort should have a dedicated obligation to accessing your desires and needs and provide them to the best of his ability... within each other;s own terms of safety and capacity... meaning, inspite of your own desires, the Escort needs to responsibly decern how to fulfill them or not fulfill them should they be unsafe or unachievable by the two of you.

I Dom Top... but have two Dom Tops I infrequently play with in order to imporve my own Dom skills and first hand experience things from my subs side/POV. That way I can futurially guide and be a better Dom and access fantasized desire from attainable and safe/healthy desire. I establish first though that if things need to stop/end, they must.

What this helps me do is understand the capacities of any bttm sub I might have.

Their own desire might be beyond their own physical/emotional/spiritual/psychological capacities. I need to be aware of that and access the in-the-moment play and keep things in perspective even if the sub does not.

When It comes to me subbing for my chosen Doms, them knowing/understanding and agreeing to the limits and realistic capacities of both me and them prior to meeting is an important MUST~

No matter who, if you are feeling uncomforatable, it's important to say so openly and then together establish the comfort/pleasure zone acceptable. Regardless... Clients/Escorts sometimes, whether Dom or sub, at times, find this communication difficult, untimely or not present... It is important and necessary for both.

Your Escort was not professional or considerate of YOU... also, though, it's important to state that if you are not comfortable... redirect the scene or stop it.

I am proposing that the Client Escort interaction is a mutual agreement and should be committed to, in meeting, as mutual. So, if one side falls into human or personal error... the other side needs to bring light to the balance of things.

He missed your discomfort ques and actually subdued them when you communicated them... He could have taken them into consideration and moved into play that you both mutually would have enjoyed perhaps? That is generally an option for things.

Did you write to him and communicate this all with him? Generally speaking... it's good to direct concerns to the source. Is he aware that this was deeply concerning you? If not... consider letting him know directly... talk to him and let you know how you feel if you have not done so already. If you have... (and not asking you to disclose here), access how he responded to your concerns?

 

[email protected] (EMAIL works BEST~!)

Cell is 503.747.8269 (but really... email works best~)

my other cell, (checked less often), is 503.719.9274

http://www.tygerscent.biz

http://www.daddysreviews.com/finder.php?loc=T-12-139-10&who=tyger_portland

http://www.maleescortreview.com (Tygerscent in Portland, Oregon)

http://www.rentmen.com (AAAtygerscentXXX in Portland Oregon)

http://www.men4rentnow.com (tygerscent in Portland, Oregon)

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[seattlebottom]

Maybe I'm being alarmist, but from what you wrote it sounds like you were raped. You might want to get some help about the trauma you went through. I wish you well.

[gregkidman]

Bad Review Trauma

 

Oh - did not write a review because I noticed this guy had one bad review and really went on the attack - privately and publicly. In the past here, I once criticised an escort held in high esteem here by the moderators and members (one of the worst experiences I have ever had) and he went after me with private e-mails for weeks. I learned my lesson. I do post honest and up-front reviews, but am circumspect about those who are not so great,

 

You hit the nail on the head for me. I like writing good reviews but I am reluctant to write a bad review for I fear repercussions. My compromise is just to write a thread, to say to avoid a certain guy or to describe a bad experience, in this forum instead because eventually it falls out of sight.

[whipped guy]

Great analogy!

 

if you're in a restaurant and if you order a meal and you get served something entirely different, would you eat it? Would you pay it? (Of course you wouldn't.) Then there's the question "Why the hell do we accept this crap when it's a paid session with a working guy?". I think the answer is because most of us aren't experienced enough when it comes to hiring guys, while most of us are much better experienced when it's about dining in a restaurant.

Cynical... I feel so sorry for you... and yes you were abused and raped... Plus not to mention issues regarding safety. It is always safety first... and on a variety of levels!!!

 

I pay to get roughed up and I don't think I would stand for what happened to you... actually I know I would not stand for it!!! One has to fight back and turn the tables when something like this occurs… and do so immediately and unequivocally.

 

I also think that Anton's analogy is spot on! It is all about experience. It took me a couple of less than stellar experiences to learn (through experience) that one has to set the record straight pronto... and out Dom the so-called Dom... and accept no crap what so ever!

 

The first time I fought back it involved a guy who has tons of outstanding reviews on this site... He ripped an article of clothing... and to me that was a signal that things would be getting out of hand. I pounced on him like a mountain lion on the prowl... and you should have seen the look of fear on his face... Yes! The tables were indeed turned… and he became subservient to my needs for the remainder of the session. Still, he ultimately thought that he did nothing wrong and said so in a post session email and accused me of over reacting… Well, to continue with Anton’s analogy, if you were served something that you didn’t order in a restaurant it is not overreacting to send it back. The chef might not like the fact that a new meal would have to be prepared… but shoot! Thems the breaks! Consequently, I never hired him again… I guess there is that Dom attitude down deep in some of these guys, but at least I salvaged the session and did ultimately enjoy myself.

 

In fact the last time I pounced on a guy he did everything in his power to cross the line I had drawn in the sand regarding my limits. I was not going there and I was just about to bolt when he backed off. Once more I salvaged the session and he became compliant to my desires, but again in a post session email he tried to justify his actions. Again there is that nasty Dom attitude… and again I erased his contact information from my data bank.

 

I could go on… One guy had me wait almost thirty minutes in the street because he “forgot” what we were going to be doing during the session and needed to set things up… I not only expressed my displeasure, but ultimately turned the tables on him so he was on his knees at the end of the session… and seeing Mr. Hot Shot Dom in such a submissive position made me feel like a million bucks… Sometimes one has to set the record straight and not be afraid to do so.

 

Now I am really a kind and considerate individual and expect the same when I hire… and especially considering the type of activities in which I participate. When reading reviews I always consider the guy’s intelligence level and his capacity for caring as the main factors. When an escort is smart and cares about and cares for a client he is a winner in my book… and that is the type of individual that gets my repeat business. In fact the really outstanding ones treat their clients better than they expect to be treated… Those are few and far between at times… but when found are indeed treasured.

 

In conclusion… cynical… I hope you survive this bump in the road… and I am sure that sharing the experience with us has done you a world of good…

 

Hang in there.

 

We are certainly on your side…

[josephga]

I agree you were raped. No means no it shouldn't have to be repeated twice and the Word no requires no explanation..

[adriano46]

I was reading these posts and found this to be exceptionally upsetting. I find that many times clients do need to expand boundaries. but i have never pushed a sexual preference or fetish onto a client without communicated first. I have had two negative reviews recently published and it was due to miscommunication. Be aware that no matter what, you are the client and its your desires and fantasies that should be met. If something starts to go wrong. stop and leave. Be safe.

 

Chris, having been with you, I can say without hesitation that you do listen to the client. I was surprised at the 2 reviews you mentioned -- understand it can happen -- but you are such a nice guy (outside and in escorting) that I chalked both up to just some mis-communication. Wish you luck always.

[+ Lucky]

I felt very bad reading what happened here.

 

A few months back, I had a very similar experience...

Oh - did not write a review because I noticed this guy had one bad review and really went on the attack - privately and publicly. In the past here, I once criticised an escort held in high esteem here by the moderators and members (one of the worst experiences I have ever had) and he went after me with private e-mails for weeks. I learned my lesson. I do post honest and up-front reviews, but am circumspect about those who are not so great,

 

How many times have I seen this comment that someone did not post a review for fear of getting trashed here- especially when the escort is "held in high esteem here." It's true that whenever someone criticizes a favored escort, the claws come out. Many escorts have their fans, and those fans sometimes see it as their duty to go after anyone who thinks less of the escort than they do, even if the escort had a bad day and did, in fact, not serve the client well.

Having met so many of the posters here, one of the most common things I hear is what a bad time they had with a celebrity escort and they cannot figure out why the guy is so popular on the message center.

[josephga]

I don't understand the fear of repercussions. Unless the escort came to your home knows where you live and you might be scared they might come back. Another thing I'm sure this type of sexual abuse not only happens to clients as well,l but to escort to if not more so.. If you fear repercussions from members of this site then Don"t. You shouldn't care what they think

[Guest TBinCHI]

CFW, no doubt in my mind that you were indeed raped. I urge you to get counselling about it as rape and abuse experiences are festering sores that tend not to go away on their own. It is not your fault in any way so please do not hesitate to reach out to someone who can help you process and heal from this experience.

 

To all the posters here who go on the attack against someone who posts a bad review of their "favorite" escorts - grow up. Who the hell are you to be the arbiter of someone else's experience? This site is meant exactly for the purpose of allowing people to describe their experiences with various escorts and no one deserves to be attacked for being honest. Given CFW's experience who wouldn't want him to feel able to post a review without the fear of being attacked again for accurately describing his experience?

[KMEM]

I don't understand the fear of repercussions. Unless the escort came to your home knows where you live and you might be scared they might come back. Another thing I'm sure this type of sexual abuse not only happens to clients as well,l but to escort to if not more so.. If you fear repercussions from members of this site then Don"t. You shouldn't care what they think

 

The escorts that have come to my house know I have a 40 caliber and know how to use it. Unfortunately, I am talking about a semi-automatic pistol and not my "natural" armament.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[seeker630]

PLEASE re-consider your decision not to write a review. Many more people read the reviews than read this message center.

To be honest, I think you should also let the escort know you felt abused, but I can understand if you prefer not to do that directly.

 

I think the replies so far show you will get a lot of support here IF someone does attack you here.

 

And as for emails...I use a separate email account for all my dealings with escorts, and I can either abandon that account or block anyone who is disrespectful, if it comes to that.

 

I'm really sorry you had such a bad experience. Please consider helping others avoid a similar one!

[+ Charlie]

Cynical, you mentioned that the escort was well reviewed only on M4RN--the reviews there are pretty much worthless, since the site is making its money from the escort himself. An honest review posted here would be much more effective in protecting others from a similar traumatic experience.

 

I don't worry about blowback from other posters here if I were to write a negative review of a popular escort, but the kind of reaction from the escort himself that Adriano mentions probably does cause clients to hesitate about writing negative reviews, unless they are really angry about their experiences. Unless you are genuinely worried about the escort in question retaliating against you, I would advise you to channel your anger into a candid review of the escort.

[jawjateck]

Perhaps this kind of incident is more common than I previously thought. Several years ago, I was with an escort and had to deal with one of these types. My appointments are always the relaxing, passionate, bfe-type experiences. I make that clear in all correspondence with escorts. I don't do kink, weird, or pain. Well, this guy had his cocky, dominant-thing going on, and actually slapped me in the face. I didn't request that kind of experience and don't appreciate it at all. Instinctively, I punched him right back in the mouth. In a fight, he would have beat the hell outta me, but I let him know he would at least feel it when the fight was done. He calmed down. I soon ended the appointment, paid him, and sent him away.

 

Cynical, I sincerely hope you overcome this attack emotionally and don't remain his victim.

[uwsman2]

Which reviews to trust

 

An escort with lots of good reviews on escort sites like rentboy or rentmen, etc., means NOTHING. This site is the one where you will see occasional negative reviews, which are usually merited. (Beware of "first timer" reviews, however, since they are frequently by the escort.) I would restrict myself to escorts who have been favorably reviewed on this site by at least two people who have posted numerous reviews. And even then I would be sure that the descriptions of the sessions in those reviews sound like something you would enjoy.

 

I used to review frequently on this site (under a different screen name) but haven't posted a review in a while because my experiences recently have mainly been with guys I've seen many times over the years and had reviewed previously. The few times I posted honest, negative reviews, I got trashed in print by the escorts. But that's OK. They are defending their livelihood. But I never wrote anything unless I believed it to be true, and I thought long and hard before ever saying anything negative, because -- once again -- it is their livelihood. In my view, consumer protection is one of the most important functions of this site, so I urge the original poster to submit a factual review of what happened to him. Be prepared for the escort to retaliate with something nasty, but that comes with the territory....

[seeker630]

Good advice but.....

 

An escort with lots of good reviews on escort sites like rentboy or rentmen, etc., means NOTHING. This site is the one where you will see occasional negative reviews, which are usually merited. (Beware of "first timer" reviews, however, since they are frequently by the escort.) I would restrict myself to escorts who have been favorably reviewed on this site by at least two people who have posted numerous reviews. And even then I would be sure that the descriptions of the sessions in those reviews sound like something you would enjoy.

Unfortunately, if no one takes risks, you'd only have the same handful of current escorts with no new additions to the pool. And when they age out...

 

Lack of information is, in my opinion, not always grounds for inaction. I would venture that the majority of escorts have no reviews here at all.

[+ deej]

The few times I posted honest, negative reviews, I got trashed in print by the escorts. But that's OK. They are defending their livelihood. But I never wrote anything unless I believed it to be true, and I thought long and hard before ever saying anything negative, because -- once again -- it is their livelihood. In my view, consumer protection is one of the most important functions of this site, so I urge the original poster to submit a factual review of what happened to him. Be prepared for the escort to retaliate with something nasty, but that comes with the territory....

 

The phrase Hooboy coined still stands:

 

Honest in our judgment, truthful in our reporting.

 

Meet both of those criteria and your review will stand on its own. A review that is both does not need defense.

[rvwnsd]

...Beware of "first timer" reviews, however, since they are frequently by the escort...

 

I think this sends rather a mixed message. We are encouraging this poster, who is new, to write a review and then tell him to beware of first-time reviews. In other words, beware of people like himself.

 

Let's stop discrediting first-time reviewers out of hand. A reviewer can't become a second-time or more reviewer without being a first-timer.

[JT Brooklyn]

This "Topic" has unfortunately come up over the Years around here.

 

A definite Downside to "The Wonderful World of The Working Guys" and those who choose to inhabit it!

 

Buyer Beware!

[+ Italiano]

Apparently sometimes you can have a very bad experience with an escort after you had a fantastic one with the same one!

 

It has just happened to me, I hired this supersexy hunk in August 2008 in Montreal, I had a MEMORABLE time with him (and I guess he did too, as he offered me to go to his place again the day after free of charge...) and I saw him again a few days ago in NYC because he is visiting, and I had a HORRIBLE time with him.

 

I wrote a raving review the first time, and of course a negative one is on its way for him.

 

He was very thankful after I wrote his first review, but I guess he will not be after he will read this one.

[whipped guy]

Updates are good

 

I wrote a raving review the first time, and of course a negative one is on its way for him.

xaf... Good for you! Times change... and people change... and if this guy has changed for the worse it needs to be reported... most would have just let things slide by. Fortunately you will be setting the record straight with an update.

[JT Brooklyn]

Definitely True! Unfortunately it is Human Nature to remember the Good Time and write off the Bad Time other than for the real reason.

 

"Working Guys" Attitudes do sometimes change over Time! Even if with some their AD never does!