Communications

[gcursor]

Hi everyone, so I have a question. I've noticed how everybody is always saying that they get "good communication" from the people they decide to meet with emails, etc. I'm wondering how this takes place. My emails are usually very brief and when I do try to tell somebody about my personality or whatever then I get even briefer responses.

 

So how do you start a good opening communication with somebody telling them what you hope things will be like. I know that some of the models are more forthcoming in this area and I believe that should be commended since they are making the extra effort to do so. But what do I do if somebody doesn't discuss these matters and how do I communicate that with the person I'm hiring without infringing on too much of their own time?

 

gcursor

[whipped guy]

I try to get as detailed as possible with an email (age, height, weight, build, likes, dislikes, limits, fantasies, etc.)... but only after asking when it should be sent (some guys don't want to think too far in advance) and also reiterating the fact that I would like to have a brief pre-session chat to make sure that we are on the same page, to also get a feel for any chemistry that might be brewing between the two of us, and to get a feel for out present moods and mindsets... as that usually assures that things will flow naturally.

 

Of course that does not mean that such an email will be read... and if it is read it does not mean that it will be properly interpreted. As an example,one guy started to approach things from the complete opposite direction from where I wanted to go... a bit of escort dyslexia in action I guess... Hence the need for a pre-session discussion.

 

So the bottom line... you give it your best shot and the truly professional guys will respond accordingly... That is they will want a certain degree of detail, will study it, and then earnestly endeavor to make your thoughts and desires reality.

 

And don't worry about infringing on their time... if they don't have time for you... you don't want or need them period.

[alanalt]

But what do I do if somebody doesn't discuss these matters...?

 

Honestly? If you run into that attitude, then it's time to move on to the next ad/escort...

 

Even if it's just for an hour, you're paying him a fair chunk of your money with the reasonable expectation that the escort is going to make your time with him as good as it can possibly be. If the escort doesn't seem interested in finding out how he can do that, then it's time to take your money and move on to a guy who will care.

 

Now, having said that, it's only fair to point out that not everybody is comfortable with every medium of communication. If you're getting minimalist e-mails, it may be the case that said escort is uncomfortable/unused to communicating that way and you might wanna to pick up the phone instead (and vice-versa). But, IMO, you should never walk into a session feeling uncomfortable that the escort does not know/care enough about your likes/dislikes to be sure of a good session!

 

Alan

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey, Gcursor,

 

I agree with the previous responses; if the escort doesn't have time for you, then you should move on and find one who does.

 

That being said, it think it is important to stress that brevity and concision are not only helpful but necessary when communicating prior an appointment. Things that you like, things that expect and hope for, things that you prefer not to experience, questions relevant to the session that you may have are all important things to share in this communication.

 

I think that something important when communicating with your escort is to make sure that you are not asking for information that is clearly stated in his ad; This will give him the impression that you just want to hang out on the phone. I know some well intended clients that love to ask all the stats again just to make sure that he remembers them. (They think that if he were lying he would not.) Also, remember that on the phone or email your escort will likely stay on the factual, escort-related information that is necessary to get together. The area of expertise of your escort is the "in the flesh" experience; all previous communication and follow up is only a way to make the actual meeting successful and fulfilling. (You would be surprised by how many people want to discuss my childhood in Venezuela, my eating habits, my dietary advise, you name it, when trying to book a one hour appointment.)

 

For me the best first-time approach email should be clear, rich with information, fairly inquisitive and leave nothing important out. I would sum it up in three relevant fields: Who I am, What I want, and the questions that I have.

 

I have noticed your thread on cue cards, so I thought you may appreciate an example.

 

"Hi, X,

 

(Who.) My name is so and so, and I live in ______. I am a ____ year old bisexual man with very little experience with escorts and just recently saw your ad on ____.

 

(What) If you are available, I would like to meet you for a ____ hours long session, preferable on _______. I will be staying at______ (or will come to you, if that is available). I am a versatile man, but I am trying to explore my body as a bottom and am looking for an experienced, patient and passionate partner to play with. I enjoy kissing, touching, and really get off on nipple play. (This would be a good place to mention all the fetishes that you want to try- if that is the case, even if you think he will be shocked by them. If he gets scared by them, his loss and in good riddance, so you can keep looking for an escort who will feel comfortable with them.)

 

(Questions) I would like to know your rate for ____hours for an outcall. Also would like to know if you have a beard or _________. Have you any experience in _______? If you are not available those dates, which dates would work for you? I could make time from ______ to ______.

 

PLease let me know at your earliest convenience and feel free to ask anything. I am in the process of booking tickets and making hotel reservations so hearing from you soon would make things much easier for me.

 

I hope we will meet soon,

 

X"

 

 

This may seem like a long email to begin with, but any professional escort will be thrilled to get it. You are saving both many endless emailing back and forth, you will both know what to expect and how to expect it.

 

After that, perhaps a couple more emails to answer and clarify, and a five minute phone call to feel each other should be more than enough. You are ready to go, you know each other, and you can wait for the magic to happen when you are together.

 

If your escort finds this approach too long or if he choses to ignore your questions or requests then move on and be sure that there will always be a hot guy who is ready to provide a fulfilling experience.

 

There are rare and few exceptions to this rule, but if your escort cannot respond to this communication concisely, it is likely that he will not be able to give you a good experience. I can think of three or four incredibly hot guys who don't understand email or pre-booking, (or even English), but can give you the fuck of your life, however, these are rare exceptions.

 

One last thing: Remember that his work and his real field of expertise is related to the actual meeting. There is nothing better than talking and getting to know each other while you can look at each other in the eye. Refrain from bombarding him with emails and phone calls just to touch base. If you booked far in advance, contact him one week before the meeting just to reconfirm, but otherwise trust that you have done your work and that he will do his. If you want to get to know him better, then trust that this will happen in your actual meeting and trust that he is a professional, knows how to do this, has a long series of positive reviews... and ultimately, trust your gut feeling.

 

How often I write that the key to effective communication is brevity and concision, and how often it is that my posts become 500 pages essays... Oh well!

 

I hope you find this helpful, and I wish you incredible meetings, with incredible men!

 

 

Always hard and warm,

 

Juan

 

 

P.S. I can't stop thinking about it; whenever I read your posts and see that you talk about the "models", I can help but cringing a little. I believe that my profession is beautiful, giving, affirming; something that I am proud of. I am not a model, I am an escort, and personally don't see the necessity of a euphemism to talk about my work. I know that some people believe that the word "escort" is a euphemism in itself, but I believe that this is the word that more accurately describes what I do: I accompany people into their sexuality, into their fantasies, during trips, dinners, at the theatre, in camel back rides... I accompany people in their adventure of becoming acquainted with their anus, or their nipples, or their self-acceptance, and I feel a lot of pride for being able to do this.

 

I don't want to pick on you. I know that many users use all sorts of euphemisms to talk about us, it was just that every time I read your posts I feel your desire to engage in a respectful relationship with escorts, so I thought I would share this with you.

 

On the same subject, the fee is an agreed upon rate for a service provided; it is not a donation, nor a gift, nor a grant. There is no shame in that. It is all a respectful, healthy, fair service that unfortunately in your country happens to be illegal. Just as sodomy in some states.

 

Big hug and kisses!

[gcursor]

Response

 

Sorry Juan. I use model because I was trying to be exceedingly polite in my terminology. I'll use escort if that's better and I didn't mean to offend. Thanks for the form letter reply idea though.

 

gcursor

 

Hey, Gcursor,

 

I agree with the previous responses; if the escort doesn't have time for you, then you should move on and find one who does.

 

That being said, it think it is important to stress that brevity and concision are not only helpful but necessary when communicating prior an appointment. Things that you like, things that expect and hope for, things that you prefer not to experience, questions relevant to the session that you may have are all important things to share in this communication.

 

I think that something important when communicating with your escort is to make sure that you are not asking for information that is clearly stated in his ad; This will give him the impression that you just want to hang out on the phone. I know some well intended clients that love to ask all the stats again just to make sure that he remembers them. (They think that if he were lying he would not.) Also, remember that on the phone or email your escort will likely stay on the factual, escort-related information that is necessary to get together. The area of expertise of your escort is the "in the flesh" experience; all previous communication and follow up is only a way to make the actual meeting successful and fulfilling. (You would be surprised by how many people want to discuss my childhood in Venezuela, my eating habits, my dietary advise, you name it, when trying to book a one hour appointment.)

 

For me the best first-time approach email should be clear, rich with information, fairly inquisitive and leave nothing important out. I would sum it up in three relevant fields: Who I am, What I want, and the questions that I have.

 

I have noticed your thread on cue cards, so I thought you may appreciate an example.

 

"Hi, X,

 

(Who.) My name is so and so, and I live in ______. I am a ____ year old bisexual man with very little experience with escorts and just recently saw your ad on ____.

 

(What) If you are available, I would like to meet you for a ____ hours long session, preferable on _______. I will be staying at______ (or will come to you, if that is available). I am a versatile man, but I am trying to explore my body as a bottom and am looking for an experienced, patient and passionate partner to play with. I enjoy kissing, touching, and really get off on nipple play. (This would be a good place to mention all the fetishes that you want to try- if that is the case, even if you think he will be shocked by them. If he gets scared by them, his loss and in good riddance, so you can keep looking for an escort who will feel comfortable with them.)

 

(Questions) I would like to know your rate for ____hours for an outcall. Also would like to know if you have a beard or _________. Have you any experience in _______? If you are not available those dates, which dates would work for you? I could make time from ______ to ______.

 

PLease let me know at your earliest convenience and feel free to ask anything. I am in the process of booking tickets and making hotel reservations so hearing from you soon would make things much easier for me.

 

I hope we will meet soon,

 

X"

 

 

This may seem like a long email to begin with, but any professional escort will be thrilled to get it. You are saving both many endless emailing back and forth, you will both know what to expect and how to expect it.

 

After that, perhaps a couple more emails to answer and clarify, and a five minute phone call to feel each other should be more than enough. You are ready to go, you know each other, and you can wait for the magic to happen when you are together.

 

If your escort finds this approach too long or if he choses to ignore your questions or requests then move on and be sure that there will always be a hot guy who is ready to provide a fulfilling experience.

 

There are rare and few exceptions to this rule, but if your escort cannot respond to this communication concisely, it is likely that he will not be able to give you a good experience. I can think of three or four incredibly hot guys who don't understand email or pre-booking, (or even English), but can give you the fuck of your life, however, these are rare exceptions.

 

One last thing: Remember that his work and his real field of expertise is related to the actual meeting. There is nothing better than talking and getting to know each other while you can look at each other in the eye. Refrain from bombarding him with emails and phone calls just to touch base. If you booked far in advance, contact him one week before the meeting just to reconfirm, but otherwise trust that you have done your work and that he will do his. If you want to get to know him better, then trust that this will happen in your actual meeting and trust that he is a professional, knows how to do this, has a long series of positive reviews... and ultimately, trust your gut feeling.

 

How often I write that the key to effective communication is brevity and concision, and how often it is that my posts become 500 pages essays... Oh well!

 

I hope you find this helpful, and I wish you incredible meetings, with incredible men!

 

 

Always hard and warm,

 

Juan

 

 

P.S. I can't stop thinking about it; whenever I read your posts and see that you talk about the "models", I can help but cringing a little. I believe that my profession is beautiful, giving, affirming; something that I am proud of. I am not a model, I am an escort, and personally don't see the necessity of a euphemism to talk about my work. I know that some people believe that the word "escort" is a euphemism in itself, but I believe that this is the word that more accurately describes what I do: I accompany people into their sexuality, into their fantasies, during trips, dinners, at the theatre, in camel back rides... I accompany people in their adventure of becoming acquainted with their anus, or their nipples, or their self-acceptance, and I feel a lot of pride for being able to do this.

 

I don't want to pick on you. I know that many users use all sorts of euphemisms to talk about us, it was just that every time I read your posts I feel your desire to engage in a respectful relationship with escorts, so I thought I would share this with you.

 

On the same subject, the fee is an agreed upon rate for a service provided; it is not a donation, nor a gift, nor a grant. There is no shame in that. It is all a respectful, healthy, fair service that unfortunately in your country happens to be illegal. Just as sodomy in some states.

 

Big hug and kisses!

[+ Charlie]

Juan, it's good to see one of your incisive (if long) responses once again. I would revise your advice slightly, however. In my first email to an escort, I simply say where I learned about him (which already tells him something about my interests), when and where I am interested in an appointment, and ask if he is available then and for what fee. I say that I will go into the greater detail you suggest, if he answers in the affirmative. That saves me the trouble of writing all that description of my self and my interests, only to learn that he is not available, or to not even receive an answer (and wonder if it is because of something I said).

[whipped guy]

The model escort

 

Sorry Juan. I use model because I was trying to be exceedingly polite in my terminology. I'll use escort if that's better and I didn't mean to offend...

gcursor... I was a bit taken aback by the term "model' as well... but I knew exactly what your mindset was... to be polite. Plus many agencies (Maximum in NYC being one) always refer to their guys as being "models"... which seems to be a very "courteous, careful, and cautious" way to describe what their guys actually do.

 

Actually very often the word "model" smacks of some dumb bimbo... or the make and model year of an automobile... So I guess it is now official, escort is indeed the proper terminology.

[gcursor]

At last

 

At last..somebody who understands my mindset.

 

gcursor

 

gcursor... I was a bit taken aback by the term "model' as well... but I knew exactly what your mindset was... to be polite. Plus many agencies (Maximum in NYC being one) always refer to their guys as being "models"... which seems to be a very "courteous, careful, and cautious" way to describe what their guys actually do.

 

Actually very often the word "model" smacks of some dumb bimbo... or the make and model year of an automobile... So I guess it is now official, escort is indeed the proper terminology.

[Guest KevinMead]

Whipped Guy said it best:

 

Just reread what he said, and that's 99.99% true. I had a client contact me today, and is his first email; he laid the general concept out for me; Studied it, found the concept saine(because, there are concepts that I have read; that AREN'T SAINE, lol) but, I gave my pending client the go ahead to tell me more. It took him 2 more emails, that were just perfect. He didn't overload me, didn't give me a novel to read about and really, he broke it down nice and easy one step at a time. BUT,,,,Whipped Guy put it the best, and I'll say it again,,,,,,,we as escort(professional) are here to service your needs, to make plans for you, set up situations and make sure everything goes good. If the escort in question doesn't seem interested, then your fantasy is not going to happen the way you want it too.

[Guest TBinCHI]

I can think of three or four incredibly hot guys who don't understand email or pre-booking, (or even English), but can give you the fuck of your life, however, these are rare exceptions.

 

Big hug and kisses!

 

For those of you who don't know Juan, he does understand email, he does understand pre-booking, and most importantly, he can also give you the fuck of your life! So, why go elsewhere? I can only hope that he comes back across the pond soon!

[Dave]

Juan wrote, " any professional escort will be thrilled to get it."

 

he is spot on!

 

Juan, thanks for taking the time to craft that for guys who hire. and i'm also with you on the "model" thing. language is funny, and it's amazing how much power some words have.

[whipped guy]

At last..somebody who understands my mindset.

Well I am not so sure about that… though I did know what you intended with your use of the word model. Now if you were a gcurser I might be able to understand more easily where you might be coming from, but you are a gcursor…

 

So I am going to gamble that you are a computer expert who probably designs software or at least is capable and comfortable working with the more intricate, obscure, and sophisticated possibilities in the world of computers.

 

Either that or you are simply horny guy who clearly enjoys and most definitely likes to "cursor around" for some hot and heavy action.

[Juan Vancouver]

Dear Gcursor,

 

I know perfectly that you didn't mean to be offensive. As a matter of fact, in all your posts you seem careful, polite and looking for ways in which you can deal with escorts in a healthy and affable way. That is precisely why I wrote this on my post:

 

I know that many users use all sorts of euphemisms to talk about us, it was just that every time I read your posts I feel your desire to engage in a respectful relationship with escorts, so I thought I would share this with you.

 

There have been many users to this site who from the very beginning have showed their contempt or distaste for this profession, and believe me, I have never spend two minutes suggesting anything to them. I only did with you because it seemed to me that you would appreciate it and benefit from it.

 

I must confess that I had no idea that agencies in your country use the term Model.

 

The last thing I want to say is Thank you. We need more inquisitive and respectful people like you.

 

A big hug and my best wishes.

 

Always hard and warm,

 

Juan

[doitb4ugo]

Thank you from me too!

 

 

I have noticed your thread on cue cards, so I thought you may appreciate an example.

 

"Hi, X,

 

(Who.) My name is so and so, and I live in ______. I am a ____ year old bisexual man with very little experience with escorts and just recently saw your ad on ____.

 

(What) If you are available, I would like to meet you for a ____ hours long session, preferable on _______. I will be staying at______ (or will come to you, if that is available). I am a versatile man, but I am trying to explore my body as a bottom and am looking for an experienced, patient and passionate partner to play with. I enjoy kissing, touching, and really get off on nipple play. (This would be a good place to mention all the fetishes that you want to try- if that is the case, even if you think he will be shocked by them. If he gets scared by them, his loss and in good riddance, so you can keep looking for an escort who will feel comfortable with them.)

 

(Questions) I would like to know your rate for ____hours for an outcall. Also would like to know if you have a beard or _________. Have you any experience in _______? If you are not available those dates, which dates would work for you? I could make time from ______ to ______.

 

PLease let me know at your earliest convenience and feel free to ask anything. I am in the process of booking tickets and making hotel reservations so hearing from you soon would make things much easier for me.

 

I hope we will meet soon,

 

X"

 

 

 

Thanks, Juan

 

I want to thank you, as well, for the plain and uncomplicated approach of your sample e-mail. As another new guy here, I have had a number of no response situations from escorts - most likely based on the crazy-ass way that I introduced myself....Your template will help a lot going forward.

[NYTomcat]

Thanks Juan

 

Thanks, Juan

 

I want to thank you, as well, for the plain and uncomplicated approach of your sample e-mail. As another new guy here, I have had a number of no response situations from escorts - most likely based on the crazy-ass way that I introduced myself....Your template will help a lot going forward.

 

I have to agree. Juan your post was amazing, respectful and inciteful about how the client and escort should be treating one another. Its beyond a professional relationship but with a respectful professional demeanor. As I too am new to the forum and hiring I'm not sure what part of the sky you fell from but Thank you. and I echo my friend TBinChi's sentiments, please hop back across the pond and not to Vancouver, well, not without a stop here in the east.

[whipped guy]

A respectful two-way street

 

Juan your post was amazing, respectful and inciteful about how the client and escort should be treating one another.

I have to agree that Juan’s posting is the essence of what the beginning of a professional client-escort relationship should entail. Of course it is a two-way street and no matter how earnest, sincere, and professional a potential clients contact email actually is, it all ultimately depends on the professionalism of the escort who is on the receiving end. If he is as practiced as Juan and quite a few other s are then there will be a definite meeting of the minds…

 

However, and I might make this a big HOWEVER, not all escorts are as level headed, sensible, and as professional as the cream of the crop are. It is indeed disheartening to send an email similar to what Juan has suggested and then receive the following as possible responses:

 

i can’t c u then.

c u then.

What do u want?

We gonna have fun!

OK

 

 

Well, it is frustrating that some guys just don’t have any good sense when it comes to corresponding with clients and especially clients who have the potential to be top-notch clients.

 

When a guy comes across as simply dimwitted and frankly dumb it turns me off. I believe that the brain is the largest sexual organ and if the guy has at least half a brain he should be able to correspond in a coherent and cogent fashion. Now some clients out there are looking for a hot piece of ass to have their way with irrespective of the guy’s intellect… all fine and dandy to them! It kind of reminds me of the Al Bundy saying, “Hooters hooters, yum yum, yum! Hooters. hooters, on a girl that’s dumb!” Well change hooters to pecs, glutes, or whatever and you got your guy! However, many of us are looking for something above and beyond that type of experience… so in the final analysis Juan is right on the money… but only if the resultant response is as correspondingly considerate and respectful as I know Juan’s and quite a few others would be.

 

As an example I submitted a review several months back where I extolled the virtues of the escorts writing ability as much as I praised his other talents…In fact that was the reason that I hired the guy... as he proved that he was more than a cut above the ordinary. So I say, Pecs, pecs, yum, yum yum! Pec, pecs, on a guy that’s intelligent!” Well it doesn’t’ rhyme… but it certainly works for me!

[justaguy]

Whipped-

I'm right with you when it comes to the escort response. The more the response is in actual prose and shows thought, the more I am inclined to hire. A curt response in the language of texting will turn me off. I want the body, but as you said I need working brain cells, too.

[doitb4ugo]

Thank You, Juan

 

Just wanted to let you know that I used a modified version of your letter today when seeking a session with an escort. Having the template to keep me in line and prevent me from blabbering too much was immensely helpful. It also focused my communication around what I was looking for in our meeting. Somethng that I find very difficult to do....

[dapurplebear]

I too had good correspondence today -- didn't use the template - -but used it as a model -- specific - and the escort seemed to appreciate it...

[NYTomcat]

I wonder if there is a way we could flag that model of Juan's for future use. Really its a great format. Deej any ideas on how that could be done. or should we just copy it into the header of a new thread Model Escort communication letter

[Epigonos]

Before I actually set up a definite appointment with an escort I send him two informative emails. The first one is always the same and goes like this:

 

I am interested in the possibility of getting together with you for lunch or dinner (your choice) and a couple of hours of play time. Are you availble and interested in this type of arrangement and if so what would your fee be?

I look forward to hearing from you and thank you for your time.

 

Epigonos

 

 

If I receive a positive response and his fee is in my ball park I then send him a much longer email describing myself and my interests in detail in outline form. I always include my age just in case he doesn't want to play with client over 60. At the end of this email I ask him to respond if everything I have stated is ok with him and we then proceed to set up a definite appointment.

 

If his fee is higher that I am willing to pay, I email the escort that fact and apologize for wasting his time. Some escorts will then ask me what I am willing to pay. I NEVER NEVER EVER ANSWER THAT EMAIL. I absolutely refuse to negotiate. I know some of you may find that strange but it is the way I operate and it is an absolute rule of mine.

[+ nycman]

My "correspondence" goes something like this...

 

"Are you available for a one hour out call this Wednesday in NYC at 7pm?"

 

Good I love being a whammer....grin

[doitb4ugo]

Flake or Flakee - Let the Lessons Commence

 

Below is a recent attempt to communicate with a local escort advertising on M4RN. He e-mailed me when I sent the M4RN e-mail to him.

 

My response is below. Seems to have generated only 3 days of silence..Should I assume that the guy has no interest in "older" or "newbie" or is the guy guessing that I'm not immediate enought to be a sure bet? Is the communication flawed or have I just picked the wrong guy?

 

Hey ****,

I just wanted to get some info on your location in Boston. Are you in downtown Boston or fairly close by. I sometimes like to take a few hours off during my workday(in downtown). Are you close enough to make this possible.

Thanks for your offer to send more pics. From the pics I see, you are quite a good looking guy. Can you give me an idea of what you are into. I am fairly new at this and open minded about the experience. Being an older guy, I was interested in meeting with someone who has some maturity and able to relate comfortably to a "newbie".

 

Thanks for your time,

Rich

[AdamSmith]

My response is below. Seems to have generated only 3 days of silence..Should I assume that the guy has no interest in "older" or "newbie" or is the guy guessing that I'm not immediate enought to be a sure bet? Is the communication flawed or have I just picked the wrong guy

 

Clients are of varying opinion on this (watch subsequent responses here!) but I am not much surprised or put off when email communication is spotty -- IF I liked the pics and vibe from the ad. In such cases I just pick up the phone. In fact my habit is to start with phone call, unless the ad offers only email. Did you get a phone number from the ad or in the email reply?

[doitb4ugo]

Clients are of varying opinion on this (watch subsequent responses here!) but I am not much surprised or put off when email communication is spotty -- IF I liked the pics and vibe from the ad. In such cases I just pick up the phone. In fact my habit is to start with phone call, unless the ad offers only email. Did you get a phone number from the ad or in the email reply?

 

In this case, no phone number on ad or in response. His e-mail below:

 

Hey bud:

Thanks for the email. You wrote me after seeing my ad "**********" at www.M4RN.com.

Email me back, and we can take it from there. Let me know if you want me to send some more pics.

We'll have a blast....

Later.