Whose orgasm is most important?

[Losgatan]

This is really an extension of the “Escorts who cum” thread. But, rather than bury it there, I thought I’d give it a thread of its own.

 

When I was younger, the primary objective of any sexual encounter was **my** satisfaction. I prized those guys (paid or not) who could work me to a frenzy. And then, with a couple of deft moves, push me over the top.

 

However, now that I’m nearly 63, I find that my priorities have almost completely changed. What I really value now is the reassurance that I’m still able to turn on an attractive, younger guy and push **him** over the top. The intensity of my own orgasm has become secondary.

 

I know that this contradicts the conventional wisdom around here – i.e., “it’s all about the client’s experience.” But, I wonder if there are other posters here who feel the way I do. And, I wonder what our escort friends feel like when they’re dealing with a client like me. Does it make the session easier or more difficult?

[Guest Chazzz69]

>This is really an extension of the “Escorts who cum” thread.

> But, rather than bury it there, I thought I’d give it a

>thread of its own.

>

>When I was younger, the primary objective of any sexual

>encounter was **my** satisfaction. I prized those guys

>(paid or not) who could work me to a frenzy. And then, with

>a couple of deft moves, push me over the top.

>

 

I would have to agree that with age and experience our individual priorities change. When I was in my 20's it was all about getting my rocks off and once I came then I really was not concerned about my partner. Now that I am approaching 40 I have to say that I have learned what it means to focus on the mutual experience.

 

It really turns me on when my partner, be he an escort or someone who is not an escort, is having an enjoyable exprerience. Of course I do go out of my way to make that happen. We all tend to pick up more and more techniques with our experiences.

 

Escorts obviously have learned more than a few "tricks of the trade" in getting a client off. I will even admit to using a few I have learned from the guys I have hired on boyfriends and other escorts. I would be curious to know if escorts have learned a few things from a client that subsequently become a part of their technique.

 

As I stated in my post in the related thread, I have paid bonuses to escorts who cum during an appointment. It stands to reason to me that they have gone the "extra mile" and should be rewarded.

 

The more pleasureable the experience for my partner then the more intense the experience for me. Nothing is hotter than hosing each other down with hot loads of milky white cum, (is it hot in here or is me?)

[DaninWA]

>I know that this contradicts the conventional wisdom around

>here – i.e., “it’s all about the client’s experience.”

 

I don't think it's contradictory at all. It's still about your experience and what you enjoy. In your words:

What I really value now is

>the reassurance that I’m still able to turn on an

>attractive, younger guy and push **him** over the top. The

>intensity of my own orgasm has become secondary.

 

Dan

[Rick Munroe]

>The more pleasureable the experience for my partner then the

>more intense the experience for me.

 

This makes sense & it's how I feel too but do you necessarily equate cumming with a pleasureable experience? An escort can be having a horrible time, but then close his eyes, think of something that gets him hot, and force himself to pump out a load. Conversely, he can be totally into the client & the scene, and having a major hot time, but maybe not be ready to cum when the hour is up. Which would you really prefer? (By the way, I do love to see a guy cum, too...nothing more frustrating than when I've given my best head and don't get to see that prize shoot out).

[+ Charlie]

I am almost as old as Losgatan, but I do not have the same response. Although it is flattering if the escort obviously gets off on the encounter, and certainly adds to my pleasure, I hire escorts to get ME off. And 99% of time, it does matter to me that I cum, but not that he does, though I would definitely help him if that's what he wants to do.

[Huey]

>but do you

>necessarily equate cumming with a pleasureable experience?

YES!

 

>An escort can be having a horrible time, but then close his

>eyes, think of something that gets him hot, and force

>himself to pump out a load.

Well when you put it like that I change my answer to your first question to NO!

 

>Conversely, he can be totally

>into the client & the scene, and having a major hot time,

>but maybe not be ready to cum when the hour is up. Which

>would you really prefer?

 

Actually you bring up a few good points. I feel that most of us equate cumming with a great experience. Yet as you note when an escort isn't having fun yet still can manage to cum, well is it really what I want. I guess not.

 

When I hire an escort I am only concerned that I have a mind altering orgasim. If the escort wants to get off as well then I will give him a hand, mouth or whatever body part he needs Otherwise I am very content in simply enjoying his body without the juice.

 

-----------

WAR IS OVER

if you want it

GIVE PEACE A CHANCE

[CT Dick]

You have refined the question well, Rick. To me the final shot is not as important as my getting the escort turned on during the session. I love to make him squirm, feel his erection harden in my hand, see his cock twitch as I lick under the head, etc.

 

If he finally cums, it is a bonus but the pleasure is in the doing.:9

 

Dick

[Guest Chazzz69]

>You have refined the question well, Rick. To me the final

>shot is not as important as my getting the escort turned on

>during the session. I love to make him squirm, feel his

>erection harden in my hand, see his cock twitch as I lick

>under the head, etc.

>

>If he finally cums, it is a bonus but the pleasure is in the

>doing.:9

>

>Dick

 

I agree that the "pleasure is in the doing". Its frustrating if the guy does not cum but I have been in situations where both of us have had really hot experiences but I have not been able to get off completely. This by all means does not indicate that I did not have a great experience. I would expect the same is true from the escort side. (Conjecture on my part.)

 

Recalling a hot scene or even past experience can be part of whole moment. For me sex is as much a part of the mental as well as the physical.

 

Chazzz69

[mmk]

when I am with someone-whether it is an escort or not-part of me having a satisfying sexual experience would be to see the person I am with get off. I can get off before they do but my experience is all the more intense if they get off first. And sometimes if the get off first, you then discover that they are the type of person who can get off again within 15 minutes and just continue that for a few hours. Now that is something that I have always found to be very exciting)

[CT Dick]

>....I have been in

>situations where both of us have had really hot experiences

>but I have not been able to get off completely.

 

And, I've been in the situation where I have gotten off and the guy then attempts to get off but just isn't gunna work. He wants to please but it doesn't happen, for whatever reason.

 

Rather than watch him rub himself raw, I have suggested that somethings are just not meant to happen.

 

I have had very fond feelings for these 'tryers.' :-)

 

Dick

[foxy]

I can think of a number of happy occassions where my partner and I came at the same time. When it's spontaneous, it's amazing. You know you're both in the same groove without having to orchestrate it. That's the best!

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Mutual Experience

 

>I would have to agree that with age and experience our

>individual priorities change. When I was in my 20's it was

>all about getting my rocks off and once I came then I really

>was not concerned about my partner. Now that I am

>approaching 40 I have to say that I have learned what it

>means to focus on the mutual experience.

 

As I hear fireworks go off in the distance and as my last client walked out the door a few minutes ago, I am reminded of a conversation I had with a regular, a married bisexual man, who enjoys giving oral sex. I have pointed out to him time and time again that it is a very difficult thing to do to get me to come that way and that I am not fond of jerking off afterwards. It is also just as difficult to get me "close" with just oral sex. However he has made it plainly clear that he is only "concerned about my needs" and as long as he cums, he is more than fine with the experience. I have noticed with the number of married and bisexual men that employ me, they have a similar mind set. The gay men, however, care very much about getting me off, by whatever means.

 

>As I stated in my post in the related thread, I have paid

>bonuses to escorts who cum during an appointment. It stands

>to reason to me that they have gone the "extra mile" and

>should be rewarded.

>

>The more pleasureable the experience for my partner then the

>more intense the experience for me. Nothing is hotter than

>hosing each other down with hot loads of milky white cum,

>(is it hot in here or is me?)

 

There is an intensity on top of the pleasure which came before one has an orgasm. My favorite thing to do is to make a man on his back, as I am looking in his eyes, drop a nice big load on his chest while he is fully hard and neither he nor I have my hand on his tool; then I can pull out, rip the condom off, stroke myself one or two times and then shoot another nice big creamy load right on top of his. It is just a simple matter to then lie on top of him and let the fluids intermix while we look into each others eyes and we can listen to both of our heartbeats.

 

I will let you into my dreams if I can be in yours.

 

http://www.gaydar.co.uk/francodisantis

[Will]

I'm with Losgatan, Chazzz69, and CT Dick on this one. When I go to the trouble and expense of hiring an escort, I want him to figure out a way to get himself turned on. I'll do my best to help.

 

The first time I hired an escort, I called an agency because I was confused and bewildered, and not a little frightened, by the ads of individual escorts. (This was before I discovered M4M.) The agency sent over an incredibly sweet escort who couldn't have been more attentive. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough experience at the time to tell the agency, or perhaps even to know, that shaved-bodied muscle-boys are so much not my type that they actually turn me off.

 

So that, in addition to my nervousness and the fact that it was a completely new experience for me, made it difficult. The escort himself was really a graduate student who was paying his way by part-time escorting and had none of the professional and social skills I subsequently encountered with the justly renowned Mr. Munroe. In a nutshell, no nut for me. Fortunately, the 26-year-old had no trouble at all, or the whole thing would have been a bust.

 

The escort was worried and concerned that I hadn't had a good time. I assured him that I had, that it didn't matter, and that in any case the memory of the experience would produce plenty of orgasms later on (and it did). At the very least, it was certainly an easy introduction to the world of escorting. I tried a local escort in response to his own ad next; that was OK, and at least I had the courage to do it. Then I found M4M and though M4M, Rick Munroe. The rest, as they say, is history.

 

To tell the truth, for me it's all about mutuality. In a "normal" sexual encounter, both partners have an orgasm. That's the way it should be -- for me -- with an escort. But as happened to me with the first escort or as CT Dick tells about an escort who just can't get off, when it doesn't work it doesn't work. There again, however, mutuality is key. Talking, even laughing, about it is good. It's important to remember that Eros is a laughing god.

 

More philosophically, perhaps, although it certainly doesn't feel "cerebral" to say this, the most painful effect of increasing age is its weakening of the splendid urgency of Eros in my body. Nothing is more life-enhancing to me that a sensed visitation of that vital, creative, energy of life itself, both in and out of bed. One of the many reasons I so greatly value those escorts who have a permanent place in my admiration and affection is that they are as it were temporary incarnations of Eros himself.

 

Professionally I have dedicated myself to the life of the imagination, particularly in writing and the visual arts; I live surrounded by young people fully in thrall to the glistening excitement of love in all its forms; I live closely involved with other people, with animals, and with nature. These are domains of Eros. Therefore, for me, sharing genuine sexual abandon with an escort is something that fuels my central sources of energy. I have learned that I cannot live healthily without it. And about that I'm an expert, having done without for so many years. Thank you, Rick, Gino, Jeff, and John, "amorini" one and all!

[Bilbo]

Re: Learned any new tricks?

 

Chazzz - That was such a sweet question that I didn't want it to get totally lost. Yes, I have learned many new tricks from clients - some more than others, of course. As Will said, "Mutuality is key." (Or words to that effect.) I also learn new massage moves almost every time I have a massage. Since you are willing to learn, it is obvious that I could learn from you. If you have been with and learned from six (just picked out of the air for discussion's sake) men that I haven't been to bed with, and if you happen to use any of their techniques on me, then I am not only learning from you but learning by proxy from them. Delicious!:9

[LovesYng]

I hear what your saying Will, I really don't like a guy that shaves his chest, I love a guy with some chest hair, it's a BIG turn on for me also at times it hurts a little when it starts growing back in and he got nubs. As far about orgasm I really LOVE watching the guy having a orgasm, it's a big turn on for me. As far as me their is times I can't cum at no fault of the escort just seems at times the I'm past the point of cumming. What I try and do sometimes is trying to make both of us cum at the same time. I got to hold back a lot of times I can cum within the first five mins. that is how much I enjoy the escort if he is hot. 99% of the time I hold it in so after time I can't then.

[Rick Munroe]

>It's important to remember that Eros is a laughing god.

 

Couldn't agree more, Will. I love to laugh during sex (especially if I'm with a nervous first-timer). In the heat of passion, I'll be known to crack }> a joke or do something to make us both laugh...instead of breaking the mood, it actually enhances it...that intake of air from laughter while fucking is exhilarating & the best high there is. Of course, I can be serious when I have to or want to...but sex is just too much fun not to have fun while you're doing it.

 

I just woke up & am very horny. :9