How not to feel humiliated when dining alone

[Guest greatness]

I usually take a book with me when I have to eat alone at a restaurant. I read this article and it was kind of funny because I can relate to what the author wrote about.

 

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/food/how-not-to-feel-humiliated-when-dining-alone-567610/

[Guest Merlin]

They always want to give you the worst table in the house. The smallest table up against a wall in back, preferably near the door to the kitchen.

[dfw2sfo]

I like it.

 

I actually like to eat by myself sometimes. I'm definitely not humiliated but I do use a number of the things they list in the article. Especially the waiter is hot, I'm there - often.

[Boston Guy]

As a long-time frequent business traveler, I've eaten what must be thousands of meals alone over the last several decades. I prefer to go out to a decent restaurant, rather than choosing room service, a strategy chosen by some who find themselves dining alone on business trips. I always carry reading material but find myself more and more spending time surfing the Web while eating. My iPhone is a splendid companion at such times.

 

There are a number of cities that I visit often. In each, I have a number of favorite restaurants, including some that I've frequented for a long time. It's much like having a collection of neighborhood restaurants at home; the only difference is that the neighborhood itself moves around.

 

When dining out, I'm friendly and relaxed. I want to enjoy myself and see no reason why I shouldn't. If I'm about to be seated in a table that I don't like -- perhaps it's too dark to read at or I don't like the location -- I won't hesitate to ask for a different table. I can't recall a time when I was refused and typically the host will just ask which table I'd like.

 

I always tip generously, unless the service is terrible, which it seldom is. Over time, I find that being a friendly frequent guest who tips well leads to good service, even when I'm alone. I may walk into a restaurant in LA and have the host look up and say "So, how are things on the east coast?" It's nice, it's friendly and everyone likes to be recognized.

 

I guess it wouldn't occur to me to feel humiliated because I was dining alone. If I'm in a restaurant, it's because I've chosen t go there and am looking forward to a good meal and a pleasant experience. What's to feel humiliated about?

[Guest greatness]

well

 

That's good that you are fine with it. I like your personality!

 

What's to feel humiliated about?

[Guest greatness]

I've never met hot waiters

 

I don't know why but I've never had. I chatted with a hot bell boy once at a hotel waiting for my car. He suggested watching football together or something like that later. I thought about inviting him to my room but his manager was listening in so I couldn't. lol.

 

I actually like to eat by myself sometimes. I'm definitely not humiliated but I do use a number of the things they list in the article. Especially the waiter is hot, I'm there - often.

[uwsman2]

reading material

 

I always take reading material with me when dining out alone. And usually if they guide me towards a table that's too dark, I find that a polite request to the waiter will get me a better table. Will have to look into the kindle angle...

[KMEM]

Did anyone notice the article was written for women traveling or eating alone? I have eaten thousands of meals on the road and never had any of the problems mentioned such as "pity" from the wait staff, strangers trying to talk to me, etc.

 

Just as BG implies, karma seems to work well in these instances; treat the wait staff professionally just like you wish to be treated. A nice tip never hurts.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Luv2play]

The only time I felt humiliated dining alone was many years ago in Newport, Rhode Island at the height of the tourist season. I had given my name at the reception desk of this very upscale restaurant and then waited to be called when my table was ready (I had no reservation).

 

A number of parties were seated before me and they were announced by their names, followed by "party of 4, 6 or whatever". When the announcement for me came over the PA system it was phrased as "Luv2play (insert real name), party of one"!

 

As I walked to my table I could see people looking up to see what a party of one looked like! Oh well, nobody knew me and I got over it as the food was really good and the rest of the service fine.

[Guest greatness]

well

 

I think they looked at you because you were very handsome!

 

 

The only time I felt humiliated dining alone was many years ago in Newport, Rhode Island at the height of the tourist season. I had given my name at the reception desk of this very upscale restaurant and then waited to be called when my table was ready (I had no reservation).

 

A number of parties were seated before me and they were announced by their names, followed by "party of 4, 6 or whatever". When the announcement for me came over the PA system it was phrased as "Luv2play (insert real name), party of one"!

 

As I walked to my table I could see people looking up to see what a party of one looked like! Oh well, nobody knew me and I got over it as the food was really good and the rest of the service fine.

[+ Topseed]

I'm with Boston Guy on this.

 

I've traveled for business hundreds of times, and eating solo is no big deal -- it sure beats the crap that is room service. I carry a book, or sometimes simply enjoy my own thoughts and a little down time over a cocktail and a decent meal. I always show up properly attired, btw.

 

And, I think it's key to skip the notion of being apologetic for being a solo diner. Why I'm there is no one's concern, and I don't expect unusual attention. I feel that the restaurant should be glad for my business. I don't expect the best table in the house, but I routinely turn down the offer of the table near the kitchen door, near the bathroom, or some other insult that implies inferiority or pity. If a better table isn't available, I leave...after telling the maitre'd why I'm leaving.

 

Come on guys -- it's your money. Be in control! It's just dinner, after all. :-)

[Cooper]

An alternative to a table for one

 

I usually take a book with me when I have to eat alone at a restaurant...

 

I'm sure we've all had this happen... you're meeting someone for dinner and, at the last minute, they call/text to say they're running late at work and won't be able to join you...

 

Well, the other day, I was joining a friend for dinner before seeing a Broadway show and it happened. I was already at the restaurant, one of my favorite steak houses, when I received the call. It came while I was seated at the bar and, instead of leaving for fast food or getting a "table for one", I asked if I could dine at the bar. I was already engaged in a pleasant conversation with the bartender and an out-of-state businessman. The bartender handed me a menu and I ordered. Although I was disappointed my friend couldn't join me, I didn't feel "humiliated" or uncomfortable.

 

I had a wonderful dinner and continued my conversations with the bartender and a few other customers, also there alone. So, if you're dining/drinking alone and looking for an alternative, try the bar. This might not work at all restaurants but it sure beats dining with your laptop or iPhone.

 

Coop

[Guest countryboywny]

I'm with you, Coop. When I'm traveling alone, I always ask if I can eat at the bar. It doesn't feel lonely when you have a bartender and/or other patrons to converse with while you're eating... and if worse comes to worse you can watch TV!

[+ purplekow]

I eat lunch alone in a restaurant almost every weekday. I enjoy the solitude. I sit and read the newpaper or contemplate how I will handle a personal difficulty. Sometimes I will just daydream or listen to the music. I think we as a society, fail to fully appreciate the time we have alone and are not skilled in using that time wisely. This helps to explain the popularity of cell phones and other devices designed to allow us to be tied to others when we are separate.

[KMEM]

PK-

 

I could not agree more. I don't need to be in constant contact with "others" but I am willing to do so when required.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Boston Guy]

I will eat at the bar on rare occasions but generally don't choose to. In most cases, I'd far prefer to sit at a decent table and enjoy my book or review material on the Web. By the time that I've gotten to the dinner hour on a business trip, I'm looking forward to some peace and quiet.

 

In fact, I often find that I'm quite looking forward to the novel or other book that I invariably have with me on such occasions. KMEM will probably chuckle at the notion of me carrying Stick and Rudder last summer and looking forward eagerly to dinner and a review of WL's thoughts. I'd read it before but found that reading it again was, if anything, more valuable than when I first read it. Re-reading it slowly over multiple dinners was a treat.

 

BG

[KMEM]

I will eat at the bar on rare occasions but generally don't choose to. In most cases, I'd far prefer to sit at a decent table and enjoy my book or review material on the Web. By the time that I've gotten to the dinner hour on a business trip, I'm looking forward to some peace and quiet.

 

In fact, I often find that I'm quite looking forward to the novel or other book that I invariably have with me on such occasions. KMEM will probably chuckle at the notion of me carrying Stick and Rudder last summer and looking forward eagerly to dinner and a review of WL's thoughts. I'd read it before but found that reading it again was, if anything, more valuable than when I first read it. Re-reading it slowly over multiple dinners was a treat.

 

BG

 

I certainly cannot and have no intention of arguing with you BG. I too am a fan of Wolfgang and aviation literature is my literature of choice most days and nights. I would be pleased to have an hour or two to have discourse with RC over "things" we might disagree about.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Racketjock]

BG has hit the nail on the head for me as well. I travel frequently and actually look forward to dining alone with the luxury of reading a good book, surfing the web, enjoying a great meal, flirting with the cute waiter, or appreciating the silence to hear my own thoughts. In a profession where I have to be in front of a lot of people, it is a treat. I have been relegated to the crappy table before, but with a polite request have never been denied. If anything, I often vet better and more attentive service when I am alone. I appreciate a good meal among friends like the next guy, but don't take those that are solo ever for granted and suffer anyone's pity.

[Lookin]

Anyone who looks down on me for dining alone is not someone whose opinion I care about even a little bit. There are a lot more important things they could be worrying about.

 

Still, to be on the safe side, I do try to remain as inconspicuous as possible.

 

http://blog.mrseb.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/nose-moustache-glasses1.jpg

[AdamSmith]

Agree with BG & racketjock. After a business day interacting with dozens of galoots, nothing is sweeter than being able to go have dinner out, at a place of one's choosing, alone.

[KMEM]

You, and Thomas Jefferson.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Guest alanm]

Most of my travel is for pleasure, not business. So perhaps that explains why my approach is different. My days and nights are flexible.

 

I have a cousin who lives in Paris, and I stay with her frequently. But, she is almost always busy on week days, and not available for meals. I have big meals at lunch in good restaurants where prices are cheaper during the day, and eating alone is never an issue. For dinner I might eat in a local bistro, or buy food in a local market, which works just as well if you are staying at a hotel.

 

I do occasionally eat out at night in Paris by myself, and do all the things that others have written about, especially BG.

[rvwnsd]

I dine out alone frequently and have never felt humiliated or pitied. A few times I've been asked if I would mind being seated with another solo diner, generally when a restaurant is very very crowded, and I usually decline the offer and ask for a table for one. When I've been directed toward an undesirable table I've asked for a better one. Only once was I told I could not have a different table. I walked out. I usually bring a book or a magazine, which leads (most) hosts/hostesses to seat me at a well-lit table or ask if I would mind waiting for one. I generally get good service, but sometimes have had bad experiences. When that happens, I ask to speak to the manager on duty and explain the nature of the problem and indicate that I did not "stiff" the server on the tip, but hat none was deserved.

[AdamSmith]

You, and Thomas Jefferson.

 

Again: You will not let me get away with anything!

 

...Better Jefferson than Garbo, granted.