Discuss

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

We are all victims of romance.

 

Raised to believe that love is all, that each of us is entitled to, at minimum, the pursuit of happiness, that love means happiness and that love and therefore happiness are our legal right, we refuse to acknowledge that transitory nature of love.

 

Happiness is real but it is also fleeting. Is it therefore better to seek satisfaction or contentment, which have more potential for lasting impact and influence in our lives?

 

Happiness is the lie we are sold. What we feel, what we attempt to describe when we believe we are happy, that swift moment of pure pleasure and endorphin rush, is transitory in the extreme.

 

It is not real.

 

Love is no substitute for Sex.

[+ Charlie]

Huh? The issues here seem rather garbled, but I'll make a brief pass at discussion. Everyone wants love and happiness, but they are not necessarily the same thing as romantic passion, which is lots of fun but transitory. Sometimes romantic passion can develop into a more stable kind of love, but often the disappointment at the loss of passion turns a relationship sour. The kind of love that brings longterm satisfaction is based on respect, admiration and justified trust, which are lower voltage than romance. However, most of us need the power surge of romance--or at least lust--from time to time, to feel truly alive.

 

One rarely achieves happiness by pursuing it; happiness is something one experiences and recognizes, often unexpectedly. The happiest people are probably those who appreciate the felicities of life, often small ones, and are thankful for what is present rather than long for what is absent. Unfortunately, most of us feel driven to experience something more exciting than what is offered, and our culture tells us that can only be found in romance (i.e., passionate sex with someone who fits our visual and temperamental ideals of a love object), so we are destined to be frustrated much of the time.

[Guest LG320126]

Franco, put a sock in it! You have become a complete babbler who thinks he has to post something all the time no matter how trivial. "Have mind running before putting mouth in gear".

[Traveller]

>Franco, put a sock in it! You have become a complete

>babbler who thinks he has to post something all the time no

>matter how trivial.

 

Now, now LG, wasn't this unnecessarily harsh and really, really mean; and more importantly, will we beat the Poles tomorrow morning and win Group D.

 

Later.

[Guest LG320126]

>>Franco, put a sock in it! You have become a complete

>>babbler who thinks he has to post something all the time no

>>matter how trivial.

>

>Now, now LG, wasn't this unnecessarily harsh and really,

>really mean; and more importantly, will we beat the Poles

>tomorrow morning and win Group D.

>

>Later.

 

 

Traveller, coming from you that is a compliment! :-)

[foxy]

I think "happiness" is more a matter of choice than most people are willing to admit. I think you can choose to be happy. To be happy with-in yourself and not blame the world for your problems which are often caused by yourself (over and over). No one can find the true love of another person unless you first love yourself. Positive feelings about yourself is what draws positive people to you. It's magnetism and that's what people respond to. If you want romantic love you have to earn it by being a loving person. Simple as that. Everything else is just window dressing.

[Guest Charon]

Try Buddhism.

 

...People beset by desire run here and there, like a snared rabbit, and those trapped in the bonds of attachments keep

returning for a long time to suffering...

 

Personally, this doesn't do anything more for me than Christianity does, but then at least you have a ready-made supply of cryptic sayings.

 

http://www.edepot.com/buddha.html

[Guest CJ]

I am not a victim of anything love or otherwise...I have loved and cared for people and had some non traditional relationships.Some great and some not so great.

 

I have grown from some of these experiences and been hurt by others.

 

I have found as I grow more mature (I had written older but mature sound better<grin>) that I am able to look at these; experiences even the harsh ones, and turn them into something benefical...I will not shrink back from life with each bad experience or setback but choose to embrace life and all it has to offer good or bad...

 

It seems that our community is so fragile emotionally that we cannot take a hit and move forward...yes there are non desireable people, but part of life is learning from your interaction with them..you are in the school of life. Don't let a misjudgement or poor choice ruin your chance for happiness. Choose differently next time maybe it will work and maybe not but you must allow yourself the opportunity to grow

 

Adapt and overcome .....

 

if its good enough for the marines its good enough for me...

 

enjoy life!!!!!!live it!!!!!

 

and please quit the personal judgments in the posts...you may not like it; but you have a choice...don't read it!!!!...personal accountability people...no disrespect intended. Hope I didn't just make a bad choice<hopeful innocent smile>

 

< i expect to get a private e mail over that>

 

later

CJ

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Sock, so smelly

 

Babble so complete

something trivial this way come

mouth no longer in gear

Ferklempt, my soul is now

[Guest aarongreyLa]

>We are all victims of romance.

>

>Raised to believe that love is all, that each of us is

>entitled to, at minimum, the pursuit of

>happiness, that love means happiness and that

>love and therefore happiness are our legal right, we

>refuse to acknowledge that transitory nature of love.

>

>Happiness is real but it is also fleeting. Is it therefore

>better to seek satisfaction or contentment, which have more

>potential for lasting impact and influence in our lives?

>

>Happiness is the lie we are sold. What we feel, what we

>attempt to describe when we believe we are happy, that swift

>moment of pure pleasure and endorphin rush, is transitory in

>the extreme.

 

What I think that we might be forgetting is that love evolves. In fact, there are many types of love that are distinctly different form each other. There is love of [parent to child; spouse-to-spouse, sibling to sibling, lover-to-lover, and friend-to-friend. I thin the transitory emotional aspect of love you feel is not more transitory than it is evolving. All of a sudden, the love relationship that existed as a lover to lover becomes a lover to a friend etc. We become a slave or victim of that relationship when we refuse to acknowledge that is evolving. I guess my mother always knew this in so many words. She used to say that “now I am your parent but that wont last forever. When you grow up, I will have to be your friend. I cant be your parent anymore when you are an adult and capable of taking care of yourself.” I love that. She is a smart woman.

Aaron Grey

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aaron@aarongreycalifornia.com

[Guest aarongreyLa]

What I think that we might be forgetting is that love evolves. In fact, there are many types of love that are distinctly different form each other. There is love of parent to child; spouse-to-spouse, sibling to sibling, lover-to-lover, and friend-to-friend. I thin the transitory emotional aspect of love you feel is not more transitory than it is evolving. All of a sudden, the love relationship that existed as a lover to lover becomes a lover to a friend etc. We become a slave or victim of that relationship when we refuse to acknowledge that is evolving. I guess my mother always knew this in so many words. She used to say that “now I am your parent but that wont last forever. When you grow up, I will have to be your friend. I cant be your parent anymore when you are an adult and capable of taking care of yourself.” I love that. She is a smart woman.

 

Aaron Grey

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aaron@aarongreycalifornia.com

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

I am a follower of The Dali Lama

 

>...People beset by desire run here and there, like a snared

>rabbit, and those trapped in the bonds of attachments keep

>returning for a long time to suffering...

>

>Personally, this doesn't do anything more for me than

>Christianity does, but then at least you have a ready-made

>supply of cryptic sayings.

 

The Twinks think I "pop out" these cryptic sayings "all by my lonesome."

 

I think this was an intresting thing to post given the recent threads about clients falling in love with or having deep feelings for an escort, the inherent commerce in the relationship between escort and client, the number of escorts who ask questions or raise concerns about finding a love interest who can an adult male companion as a prospective partner, and the generally established difficulty that gay men have in finding romantic love and mainting a relationship.

 

I personally appreciated the thoughtful answers that were given, particularly that of CJ.

 

Now off to the farmer's market. I am teaching Twink Ho Numero Tres how to make Triffle for one of his clients.