Be Kind to Your Behind

[+ Lucky]

Be Kind to Your Behind is actually an advertising slogan along with "The world is a tough place on bottoms." It seems that with frankness in advertising taking over erectile dysfunction and tampons, why not be frank about the use of toilet paper?

Apparently, we are just not up to the task of cleaning ourselves. Thus a new product is necessary- moist wipes. At an annual conference called World of Wipes (WOW) the argument is made that toilet paper brands have not been aggressive enough. Cottonelle paper is trying to rebrand itself with a much more "emotional space." There is even a youtube video where a model demonstrates the use of the wipe...with toothpaste.

Since a recent British study found that in a random group studied, 28% of the participants had fecal matter on their hands, this is not a bad idea.

 

The frankness is even coming to hand-washing admonitions. The one that worked the best in one study was "Soap it or eat it off later."

 

So, stay clean, and be kind to your behind.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/20/health/research/20awar.html?_r=1&ref=health

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/20/business/media/20adco.html?ref=business

 

Helpfully, the Times today also provides an article on winter squash puree, which, if read too quickly after the preceding articles, may give readers the wrong impression:

 

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2009/10/20/health/20recipehealth_600/articleLarge.jpg

[zeferrelli]

Lucky - you come up with more SHIT!

[Mark Gordon]

Kandoo

 

I think moist toilet wipes are one of the best new products of recent years and I find it quite unpleasant to do without them now. They have been common in the UK for several years. I prefer Pampers Kandoo wipes: they leave your bottom smelling (& tasting) like purple grapes.

[Luv2play]

Gee, I'd like to taste those grapes sometime!

 

I'm actually surprised it has taken the industry this long to come up with this idea. Years ago, my GP told me that "asshole maintenance" (he did have a way with words) was important. He suggested at that time that using a damp washrag to clean the hole after use was a good way to keep everything in good working order.

 

I haven't tried these new wipes and I will look for them at the drugstore (is that where they are?) but I hope they don't add perfumes and things which may irritate my precious (well to me) bum. Maybe aloe vera would be good.

[Kevin Slater]

Speaking of one's bum (and at the risk of hijacking a thread), whatever happened to sani-seats or "ass gaskets"? They used to be in every public restroom but now it seems I haven't seen any in years.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ Lucky]

Kevin, feel free to hijack this thread, but sani-seats seem to fit right in.

[rvwnsd]

Cottonelle wipes have been sold in the Chicago area since the mid-1990's. Apparently, the rest of the country has been, um, behind.

 

To Kevin's point, the seat protectors are commonplace in California, but not so much in the rest of the country. Several years ago, the bathrooms of a department store in Chicago had automatic toilet seat protectors. It was a plastic sheath that went around the seat. If memory serves, you had to press a button to change it.

[Guest OCBeachbody]

Awesome post Lucky! I know that there are a couple of companies that make

toliet seats that wash and dry your behind for you. Their angle is no more paper waste, and why not wash to be extra clean. I tried one at a friends house and a few while traveling around it is a rather odd device... but I may just by one.... of course I always wash my hands so those 20% of people... who had stuff on their hands...ewwww.

 

http://gizmodo.com/236933/kohler-c3-series-toilet-seats-offer-hands+free-butt+washing-american-style

[kjun]

Lucky, just come back to Thailand where you can "wash" it good with the device provided in most restrooms!

[+ Lucky]

Yeah, right, kjun. I was up on the border with Burma one time when I got very suddenly very sick. It was my first experience with a non-western toilet.

I did have a cute guy with me, so we then canvassed the whole town for a western toilet...or at least toilet paper. At least I had a nice boy to help me get through the night.

[TruthBTold]

Bidet

 

I wanted to install a bidet with a hand-held spray (separate from my toilet) in my bathroom but there was not enough room. It would get rid of a lot of the toilet paper problem. Not all of it, but some of it.

[+ Charlie]

On my first visit to Japan, I encountered toilets with automated seat covers like the one described in Chicago. One pushed a button, and the old cover moved off and was replaced by a new one. At the opposite extreme was my first rural toilet in India, where there was a bucket of water next to the toilet, into which one plunged one's hand while repeatedly wiping one's ass. (One always uses one's left hand, which is why it's considered vulgar to eat in public with one's left hand in India.)

[Guest zipperzone]

I wanted to install a bidet with a hand-held spray (separate from my toilet) in my bathroom but there was not enough room. It would get rid of a lot of the toilet paper problem. Not all of it, but some of it.

 

You can buy a shit load of toilet paper for what it would cost to buy & install a bidet.

[Guest TexHunk69]

Moistened wipes tried to take the world by storm back in the 70's I think. Does anyone remember the product called "Freshens" -- They had the unmistakable commercials where someone in a group of people proudly announced, "I've never felt better since I stopped using toilet paper!" to everyone's horror. Then they explain that they just loooove Freshens and everyone laughs. My parents told me that some local AZ politician made an ass (heh heh) of himself at a Washington DC party by repeating the infamous line "I've never felt better since I stopped using toilet paper!", unaware that they were only test marketing Freshens out West, and that no one on the East Coast had even heard of them, much less seen the ad. Not too many folks wanted to shake HIS hand after that! LOL

[Lookin]

Awesome post Lucky! I know that there are a couple of companies that make toliet seats that wash and dry your behind for you . . .

 

http://gizmodo.com/236933/kohler-c3-series-toilet-seats-offer-hands+free-butt+washing-american-style

 

Looks a bit underpowered for those with more generous fundaments.

 

http://cache.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2007/02/hydro_wand.jpg

 

Myself, I'd lean more towards a reinforced rim chair and a lawn sprinkler.

 

http://www.faqs.org/photo-dict/photofiles/list/4536/6009lawn_sprinkler.jpg