Putting a few rumors to rest

[Guest sdmuscl4hire]

I am making I guess one of the most dificult public announcements I have ever had to make, even harder than the "I am gay" one I have had to ever make in my life. As it is in life people like to assume and make judgments ect on the why's and hows of situations that come along. Not too many people know me or probably care.....but I just wanted to clear a few things up. Number one is I truly did enjoy my work as an escort and met some of the most incredible people in my life.When starting out I was very nervous about the whole thing as I hadnt been in the industry for quite a while and wasnt sure what a 30 yo could offer and was pleasantly surprised. I tried my best to keep it real, and offered people my heart and passion with no reserve.

 

The reason for me leaving so soon and retiring is that I found to my dismay I tested Positive October 21st of this year. I was naughty with a person who told me he was neg and then later found out he was not. I feel only remorse over my poor decision but have no guilt or shame. I however did not feel comfortable at the time putting others at risk how ever little it may have been when they where paying top dollar for someone they where to feel safe with. I know I know escorts are not known for there integrity ect. But I tried to maintain an honest and sincere profile while escorting. I of course have been rather ill trying to adjust to the meds and was in no shape to even think about sex. I also do not feel comfortable not disclosing my status and therefore felt I could not be too marketable as a poz individual. I am dealing with alot of emotions ect and really want everyone to know I am not flaking out or dissing anyone. I am just dealing with a very stressfull situation in my life right now.

 

I really wish you all the best and maybe when everything settles back down I may start back again escorting to those who are poz and want the stressless conection with another poz person.

 

 

Happy Holidays to all.

Michael Johnson

[Guest swiftone]

Michael,

as a former client, my heart goes out to you. When I was with you last october It was indeed a special time, an experience I will long remember, and was looking forward to our getting together again this coming January, which was not to be. During our time over dinner and during our conversations as well as during the sex, I knew you were giving yourself completly, heart and soul. You were careing and considerate and safe, a real joy to be with. When you announced your retirement I tried to email you to offer my best wishes but your email was already disconnected. I know this disclosure was not easy to make, and it shows the quality person you are. I know this must be a difficult time for you, but know you have my support, prayers and love at this time, and that of many others too, I am sure.

Best wishes

Swiftone

[Guest JT]

Take care!

 

Dear Michael,

 

My heart and thoughts are with you. Take care.

 

 

Best wishes,

JT

(P.S. If there is any questions that you might have regarding the meds and the infection, please don't hesitate to contact me. I may be able to provide assistance based on my professional background).

[+ deej]

Michael, I really can't offer anything in the way of handling the meds. But I hope you'll hang around here with us.

 

You do actually have friends here. It may not seem like it some days, but you do.

 

Let your friends be there for you. OK?

[Guest IM_Moore]

michael i really dislike you, always have, but i never hated u. i do hate aids and everything about it. it has ruined many peoples lives. i give u my full respect -not to be confused with liking u- for having the integrity to stop escorting when u found out you were positive. the fact u were willing to take the moral high road is far more than most people do, escort or not, when it comes to hiv/aids. while i cannot pretend to even have a clue about the physical pain u might be experiecing adjusting to meds and so on, the pychilogical i can at least understand. keep in mind that there are escorts who are poz and are u front about it and seem to ahve plently of clients. one who i also give credit to, even though i know nothing about him other than he is pretty cool looking, is lilblondeboy. on his web site he says he is poz. i wish so many more escorts would be honest a nd for that matter cleints too. this way we all can make choices, for example i might not have a problem doing certain things with a poz escort while others might but that is ok, there is no politically credit in all of this, people are affraid and that is normal.

 

but right now u need to deal with balancing your meds and gaining control over your mental health then once u do if u want to escort again, i feel u should. there are so many people that have few problems with this that u will probably ahve plenty of clients.

 

anyway, i don't want to see any gay person fall victim to this disease. so keep in mind there are plently of people who have been able to live for a long time, still living, with a few adjustments, and with few problems. good luck on your trip on beating the disease. stay strong mentally it's half the battle.

[Guest Zach DC]

Dear Michael,

 

I'm sorry to hear about your recent news. You've made a wise decision,

taking the time and steps to insure your good health and peace of mind.

 

Your candor here is comforting -- it speaks of your strength and courage.

Stay strong. And know that friends and support are here.

 

I wish you health and happiness during these holidays, and always.

 

Zach DC

[Guest DevonSFescort]

Michael,

 

Thank you for your honesty and courage. My best wishes to you for a long and healthy life, and great success in whatever profession(s) you follow.

[Will]

Dear Michael,

 

Thank you for your honesty, courage, and integrity. What you've done is truly honorable and, for what it's worth, I send you deep admiration. What a terrible thing for you; and although I'm glad you don't feel guilt or shame, there are plenty of other unpleasant emotions that you must have to bear along with the physical discomfort and anxiety.

 

As you well know, a person doesn't have to be an escort to post on this site. You also know that there are lots of people here who don't think it's boring to be polite and who look on this funny corner in cyberspace as a kind of community.

 

I hope that you will always feel welcome and wanted here. You need not worry about keeping up your "escort persona" with us. Just continue to say whatever you want to say. I am absolutely certain that there will always be open ears -- and hearts -- for you.

 

Sincerely,

Will

[Bilbo]

Michael,

When, for other reasons, I was forced to quit escorting (and accepted that fact for a while), I found it a lot easier to hang out around here and gossip with the girls rather than try to go completely cold turkey all at once. (Oops, redundancy.) I also would love to see you hang around out of a selfish enjoyment of your postings, but really do think that it would be good for you, too.

I am neg, but my lover is a long term survivor, and if you decide you'd like to exchange some notes with him, I'll kiss his nose if he doesn't answer you the first time. The second time it'd go directly toward foot tickles. Though I doubt if any gentle coercion would be necessary.

Now, I know that I'm going to be Ethanish picky here for a second. My only excuse is that if a number of people praised me (surely you didn't bother reading Moore's drivel) like this, I'd be likely to accidently trip over the lecturn or something - my subconscious cutting through the praise with a clown turn that would maybe embarass my conscious mind for days. Anyway, the full phrase is "et cetera", so the abbreviation is "etc.", not "ect", which, unfortunately, reminds me of my cat Phantom with a hairball. And, no, you are by far not the only one around here who does that, so don't leave on that account. Just plain please don't leave.

Love, Bilbo

[Guest dstud4hire]

I may not know you, but I wanted to extend to you my sincerest thoughts and prayers that you will find what it takes to deal with being poz. I can't even relate to what you're going thru, so I won't pretend to understand it.

 

 

But please know that I join the voices of many on this thread and this site that admire your ability to be honest, and who wish you well.

 

Take care, godbless.

 

Gabe in St. Louis

[Guest Sports]

I'm sorry to here the bad news. It's hard to believe that a sex professional would practice unsafe sex but I guess it happens all the time. I'm sure you're having a very emotional time right now and if there is anything that I can do for you please let me know. Thank you for going public with your status and reminding all of us that unsafe sex is really asking for trouble. There are probably many escorts reviewed on this site that are positive and don't reveal that information to their clients. Perhaps Hoo should post the Surgeon General's report on AIDS and carry the warning:

"Escorts can be dangerous for your health."

[Guest Kevin 2]

Michael,

I admire your courage to go public with something so personal. It speaks volumes about what kind of person your are inside. I can't relate to what you are going thru but I can say that I wish you many years of happiness in whatever you decide to do. As others have already said please continue to post here and don't be a stranger. Best wishes for the furture to be brighter than you could hope for.

[+ Charlie]

Michael,

 

I admire you for your integrity in deciding to stop escorting and your honesty in explaining why. If your disclosure makes even one escort stop and think seriously about risky sex acts, and convinces him to say no when a client demands them or offers to pay more for them, then your action has been worthwhile. I just hope that if you do decide to resume escorting with HIV+ clients, that you remember that unprotected sex is still a risk for both of you, since you could transmit different strains of HIV to one another. I wish you all the best.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Michael,

 

Let me add my sorrow about this turn of events in your life. As for poor decisions, at age 54 I'm still waiting to meet the first person who has not made one. I survived a poor decision six weeks ago that probably should have resulted in my demise. Fortunately I was lucky enough to walk away from it. At first glance your luck seems to have fallen a little short of mine. However, who knows what the future has in store for you?

 

Fate has dealt you an unexpected hand that changes in some ways the road you will travel in this life, but there is no guarantee that road won't be as long or have any less of the fullness of life. Many, if not all, of us travel roads not always of our own choosing. The measure of ourselves is how well we travel that road: what we accomplish, who we touch and how we are touched. My reading of your character, based on your posts here, is that you have the right stuff to travel well any road on which you find yourself. My best wishes for you on your new journey and may it bring you to this neighborhood often.

 

"I know I know escorts are not known for there integrity ect. "

 

This stereotypical attitude, prevalent among many, fails to recognize that escorts are just people, no more, no less; and a many people are shy on integrity. Your attitudes and conduct presented in your past posts and in this one provides an exemplary counterexample to this stereotype.

 

Happy Holidays to you... now and in the future.

 

TY

[Guest WetDream]

Michael: Much of what I would like to say has been said already. I think you know that you have the support of many of us on the message center. Your strength of character will help you through this phase. But please let us know what your friends here can do to help you through this very difficult time.

[+ Lucky]

Well, I hope you will continue to post here. I don't want to be the only HIV positive guy on the boards! I have had it for 20 years. Take care of yourself and you can make a lot of other poz people happy!

[Guest CraigSF39]

you shouldnt have any remorse because you have a hole life to be looking forward to; no need to look back on anything. your very courageous for posting and in your attitude, and thats a HUGE step towards having a fulfiling life. your very lucky your as strong as you are, and so is anyone who comes across you!!

 

Good luck and know that you have your hole life ahead of you and it will be great!

[Guest cp8036]

Michael,

 

Sorry to hear of the news and your change in lifestyle. I know it is cliche, but I think a strong desire and determination do much for someone that is newly poz. Lifestyle and medical care have come a long way, and will continue to move forward.

 

I enjoyed your thoughts (didnt always agree), so I hope you will stay. The sharing of thoughts nothwithstanding, communications here are very supportive via this "community of friends". Odd, we can share things with guys we never met, more so that our real life friends. I guess that cloak of anonyminity serves this purpose well.

 

Happy Holidays,

[Guest sdmuscl4hire]

Mr. Moore

 

re:<michael i really dislike you, always have, but i never hated u. i do hate aids and everything about it. it has ruined many peoples lives. i give u my full respect -not to be confused with liking u>

 

My appolgies for not being able to place a status as well as to wether I like you or not. I do not know you so really cant make that judgment call.

 

I do however appreciate the words and support.

 

Michael

[Guest Viewmaster]

Somehow I missed this post earlier. Possibly it is prophetic that it is now the New Year, as it allows me to sincerly wish you a great one. I admire the dignity and grace with which you have handled a very emotionally confusing and painful situation. I wish you all the best, and hope you know that there are people here that you can lean on when you need support.

[Guest AdamLVescort]

Michael,

Well everyone has pretty much said what I have wanted to say to you. I know at times things are going to be tuff but you know that you can always talk to us here. Besides if you need to get away from the hustle and bustle of life in Cali, you know your just a hop, skip and a jump away from me! You are more than welcome to come spend a weekend at my place w/ my bf and we can venture off to the lake. Sometimes its therapeutic just to break away for a bit and hang with a pal. My heart pours out to you my friend and you will always have friends here!

 

Adam

XOXO

http://www.adamlvescort.com

[Guest Bitchboy]

What an incredibly nice guy you seem to be. I wish you nothing but the best in all your endeavors. BTW, as others have said, don't be too afraid. My b/f is HIV+ and lives a full and loving life. I adore him and hope that we will be together always. He's been positive since 1996 and looks and feels better now than he did in 1996. You're handsome, kind and seems to me your real life is just beginning. Take care of yourself and stay well.