The Lure of New York City

[phage]

I know there are many New Yorkers here, as well as many well traveled individuals, so I thought I might get some good advice. I am considering a job transfer to NYC. I have always been drawn to New York. I love the progressive attitude; the culture – both high and low; the number of high quality working boys :9 , and the sheer energy of the city.

 

The problem: I was born and raised in San Diego. I’m one of those infamous “Native Californians” with that oft ridiculed “California attitude.” Of course, it’s second nature to me and I don’t see it, but since I do notice a hard to define “New York attitude” in some other people, I can only assume there are some cultural differences.

 

Anyone care to venture a guess on the odds of a 40-year old Californian successfully adapting to a New York life style? I know that starry-eyed kids, from all the God-forsaken outposts of the country, migrate to NYC every year…but some things are best left to the very young.

 

Assuming you think that I will survive the quicker pace (you folks walk soooo fast) and the colder weather (we bitch if it rains two days in a row) I do have a practical question.

 

What neighborhood should I try to live in? Obviously, it’s going to be in Manhattan -- Isn’t that where any self-respecting gay boy lives? I understand (based on a single PBS documentary, so let me know if it’s BS) that the neighborhood one lives in is extremely important. It’s important in any city, but I assume it is particularly important in New York due to transportation considerations, not just because it may or may not be the “right” neighborhood. It impacts where you are likely to go and what you are likely to do.

 

What would you suggest? Money is not a big issue. I won’t be buying a co-op across from the park, but I can afford a decent rent. I don’t particularly want a gay neighborhood. I know I’m not West Hollywood so I’m pretty sure I’m not a Chelsea kind of guy either. At the same time, I don’t want to be too far from all the action.

 

I would really appreciate some suggestions. Thanks.

[Rod Hagen]

The Upper East Side is prestigious, but boring. SoHo and Tribeca are fun, but they belong to the breeders. Live in the Village/Gramercy/Union Square/Chelsea. The "Riverside" neighborhood of the Upper West Side is pretty active. Have fun and good luck.

 

I just got back from NYC and the city is better than ever. There's less traffic too because single occupancy cars are only allowed in on a limited basis. What sucks is looking down 6th Avenue and seeing the ominous vacancy. :-(

 

-Hagen

[Guest Konga]

Astor Place

[+ Charlie]

I, too, just returned from a visit to the city of my youth, and I was amazed how beautiful and vibrant it still seems despite Sept.11. A couple of months ago I might have recommended Battery Park City for you, because of the access to the water. Personally, I couldn't imagine living anywhere on the East Side of Manhattan. You sound like a West Side type to me--maybe the Lincoln Center area or farther north. Maybe even Brooklyn Heights, although the subway connections are likely to be screwed up for a long time.

[+ Lucky]

Upper West Side for sure. Good luck, it's a hard city to live in, although it helps to be young and ambitious, so I am told!. :-)

[Guest Sports]

It's very hard for a Californian to transfer to NYC but if you do come check out all the neighborhoods yourself. What others say about New York neighborhoods (especially if they don't live in the city) may not be the way you percieve it. UES is not boring. There is great shopping, restaurants and plenty to do in your spare time. If you can, get an apt. close to work that's even better. There is nothing like being able to walk to work in the morning. I know several guys from Southern California that were trasfered to NYC and I don't think you could pry them away now. If your'e looking for a complete change of lifestyle, than do it. Best of Luck!

[+ deej]

You don't *necessarily* have to live in Manhattan to enjoy what it has to offer.

 

You might want to rent a (cheaper) apartment in New Jersey, right across the river, for your first year while you explore the city and decide where you'd like to be. There are some very nice areas that are a 15-30 minute drive to the heart of Manhattan.

 

It might let you "ease in" to the New York pace and lifestyle. It's a fabulous city, but it can be quite a culture shock. :+

[+ Lucky]

Well, as a California transplant last year, I would say after my many visits here and living here that the Upper East Side is a bore, but maybe a closet case would like it better.

Having lived in Manhattan and in one of the boroughs, I can say there is no substitute for Manhattan. Why ease yourself into one of the best experiences you will ever have?:o

[Guest Kevin 2]

I sure would have to think twice, the weather in San Deigo is so much nicer. ;-) However I can understand the "Lure of New York"

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

>What would you suggest? Money is not a big issue. I won’t

>be buying a co-op across from the park, but I can afford a

>decent rent.

 

You'll need to define what you mean by "decent rent". In NYC, pretty much NO rent is "decent".

 

Many people think that $2500 will get them a beautiful big one bedroom apartment - and it won't.

 

Pessimistically yours,

 

FFF

[Guest exFratBoy]

>I know there are many New Yorkers here, as well as many well

>traveled individuals, so I thought I might get some good

>advice. I am considering a job transfer to NYC. I have

>always been drawn to New York. I love the progressive

>attitude; the culture – both high and low; the number of

>high quality working boys :9 , and the sheer energy of the

>city.

>

>The problem: I was born and raised in San Diego. I’m one of

>those infamous “Native Californians” with that oft ridiculed

>“California attitude.” Of course, it’s second nature to me

>and I don’t see it, but since I do notice a hard to define

>“New York attitude” in some other people, I can only assume

>there are some cultural differences.

>

>Anyone care to venture a guess on the odds of a 40-year old

>Californian successfully adapting to a New York life style?

>I know that starry-eyed kids, from all the God-forsaken

>outposts of the country, migrate to NYC every year…but some

>things are best left to the very young.

>

>Assuming you think that I will survive the quicker pace (you

>folks walk soooo fast) and the colder weather (we bitch if

>it rains two days in a row) I do have a practical question.

>

>What neighborhood should I try to live in? Obviously, it’s

>going to be in Manhattan -- Isn’t that where any

>self-respecting gay boy lives? I understand (based on a

>single PBS documentary, so let me know if it’s BS) that the

>neighborhood one lives in is extremely important. It’s

>important in any city, but I assume it is particularly

>important in New York due to transportation considerations,

>not just because it may or may not be the “right”

>neighborhood. It impacts where you are likely to go and what

>you are likely to do.

>

>What would you suggest? Money is not a big issue. I won’t

>be buying a co-op across from the park, but I can afford a

>decent rent. I don’t particularly want a gay neighborhood.

>I know I’m not West Hollywood so I’m pretty sure I’m not a

>Chelsea kind of guy either. At the same time, I don’t want

>to be too far from all the action.

>

>I would really appreciate some suggestions. Thanks.

>

 

You might want to check out the 20s and 30s on the East Side- anywhere from 14th up to 34th between the river and Park. It's a relatively nondescript area-- alternately called Kips Bay, Rose Hill, Grammercy East-- with lots of decent restaurants, some very good ones, more affordable housing than the rest of Manhattan, Bruce Weber is a child molester-- fuck TT was right, it just keeps slipping out in everything I say-- and is very close to the action in the East Village and Chelsea, yet in walking distance of midtown.

Because it's not a "name" neighborhood, the pace is a bit slower there, it's not filled with tourists on the weekend, so it might be a good way for you to ease into NYC.

[phage]

FFF,

 

I was afraid of sounding crass (I’m talking about MYSELF guys – no explosions of righteous indignation please) but I can probably go twice that without it hurting too much. My company offers a pretty good COLA for relocation to NYC. Of course, anything left over can be spent on the other things NYC has to offer. ;-)

 

People in the office (who have no real reason to know) were telling me to expect $3500 - $4000 for a one bedroom. Will that get me a doorman? :-) Do I even want a doorman? What's up with doormen? It's a very foreign concept for a Californian.

[+ Lucky]

Frat Boy, why do you need to cut and paste that whole message before your post? Are you paid by the word?

[Guest cp8036]

I just returned from a week in NYC, the chest cold I have is gentle reminder of NYC. Nevertheless, NYC is the capitol of the world. There is a lure to NYC.

 

Too bad I was relocated to the wrong coast five years ago. I am native to Chicago, but now in SF.

 

As far as neighborhoods, I'd take the east side, lower east side. Try around 1st Ave and Houston. It will give you more NY urban life that you could have imagined. On one block alone you can get good jewish deli sandwiches, sushi, Thai, turkish kabobs, Chinese, and foo-foo desserts. The only negative about the LES is lack of public transit.

[Guest IM_Moore]

What is wrong with you man stay in San Diego

 

San Diego is America's Finest City. We are minutes away from Mexico, Mountains, Desert, Las Vegas, Ocean, Lakes, Clean Air, Snow (if you must have it), the Entertainment Capitol of the world (Los Angeles), Disneyland, Seaport Village, a world renowned Zoo, Decent transportation, Disneyland and some of the best looking guys in the States.

 

The lure of NYC might sound exciting now just wait till you are trekking through slush, a wind chill factor of 30 below, traffic that makes San Diego seem like Tulsa, obnoxious people (just look at some of the posts from New Yorks on this board }> ) and a host of problems.

 

Sounds to me like you are middle-aged crazy, buy a cup of java in PB / OB /LJ/ Hillcrest / Del Mar / Encinitas and walk around for a while, take a few deep breaths and thank me later for saving you

 

Have A Nice Day :+

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

"The lure of NYC might sound exciting now just wait till you are trekking through slush, a wind chill factor of 30 below, traffic that makes San Diego seem like Tulsa, obnoxious people (just look at some of the posts from New Yorks on this board ) and a host of problems."

 

I think this pretty much makes the case -- all of this being true (more or less) and still the place attracts people like flies to honey.

 

Don't know how long I'd last but I'd relocate in a New York second given the right job circumstances.

 

I'll take Manhattan... (hum along)

 

:-)

[phage]

You’re right of course, there is a bit of a mid-life crisis involved, but it’s mostly a career move. My career is just beginning to take off and this is a chance to move from middle manager to executive (albeit “junior executive”) ranks.

 

San Diego is a fantastic city. There’s nothing like those beautiful, clear sunny days – right in the middle of winter – to put those pesky earth quakes in perspective. San Francisco and Vegas are easy weekend trips, LA is just a drive away, and the coast is an every day part of your life; but this isn’t about quality of life and New York is the “big leagues.” Maybe I’ve just been watching too much “Sex in the City” but I’m looking forward to a change of pace.

 

That said, it’s no accident that, if I accept, I’ll go for an extended temporary assignment before permanently relocating. Funny how they chose the December through February time frame for that. You think they’ve had a few Californians bail on them? :-)

[Guest bluboy]

West Village. Get a doorman. Plan to pay $2800-$3500 for a decent size 1 bedroom. blu

[BgMstr4u]

New York, New York. There's a reason why the song repeats it twice. Its a city with two very real sides. You choose.

 

Weather. Traffic. Rude people. HIGH HIGH rents (unless you're one of the probably 66% who are subsidized one way or another, by the government, your family -- NEVER NEVER let go of that rent-stabilized place even if it means your spoiled kids get to crash for the rest of your natural life! -- or by your work). Dirt. Garbage everywhere, even though it's picked up every day. Every kind of street freak known to the civilized and most of the uncivilized world. Not to mention being in the target hairs of every crazed zanie nursing a grudge. Attitude up to the tops of artfully gelled hair tips, with a special New York attitude energy field spreading its aura outward.

 

Art. Music. Theatre. The greatest museums in the world. People who agree with Lionel Trilling that there is a Moral Duty To Be Intelligent. A city with a real history it's only beginning to recover and treasure. Buildings that take your breath away. People so dedicated to their work they end up running their bit of the world. So many great restaurants you actually have to think about where the best place to go is. Central Park -- my bit is the NE corner -- the incredibly, unspeakably beautiful Haarlem Meer with the hills behind. Transportation so efficient you will wonder why you ever had a car (at least on good days) and cheap too. Fashion, more of it on people than in the stores. People who actually live in Architecture Digest flats and houses and don't just tart them up for the photographers. People who read a book a week or more. The Gaiety, with the most beautiful boys in the known universe for the cost of a movie and popcorn. The finest stables of escorts ever assembled in the history of the world, if only you want to pay.

 

Take your pick. New York can give you exactly what you want, grunge or heaven. And contrasts and surprises too. I live in the not-exactly fashionable East Harlem, in the largest and most beautiful apartment I have ever had. There are so many surprises here.

 

So come on, get a nice place that won't break your bank, and do what gives you life.

[Guest IM_Moore]

>You’re right of course, there is a bit of a mid-life crisis

>involved, but it’s mostly a career move. My career is just

>beginning to take off and this is a chance to move from

>middle manager to executive (albeit “junior executive”)

>ranks.

>

>

>but this isn’t about quality of life and New York is the

>“big leagues.”

 

Concern alarm going off. Perosnally I have started to learn that it is about the quality of life, not a title, not a few more dollars. Had it and recently left it.

 

I went through part of my own mid-life crisis very publically on this board recently and the response was overwhelming. I have followed some of the suggestions and am begining to feel better though I know it is a long road.

 

Anyway, we all want to move up and we all see that giant green dollar in the sky and it can buy some freedom yet there is a price to pay as well.

 

In fact our very own HooBoy made a decision to give up what he termed a very good position that he remarked went with a very nice salary in exchange for the quality of his life. He was willing to make some adjustments and will now support himself from this site and other Internet ventures. Though no matter how much he begs I don't buy into the fact that he needs the cash to keep this site going }>

 

So I wish you the best. Maybe a trial period will help you realize what you have and might give up in exchange for $.

[phage]

Mr. Moore,

 

Thank you very much for your heart-warming concern. It’s actually very touching – especially since we have never met.

 

These are issues that I have struggled with. Well, maybe “struggled” is a little too strong – more like “considered.” I have heard, and believe, the old adage that on your deathbed, you will not be regretting the fact that you didn’t spend more time at the office. However, at this point in my life, I really don’t know what else I would do with myself.

 

I don’t have a partner and don’t even feel the need to have one. (Heresy is some quarters.) I do have some very good friends, but don’t spend a huge amount of time with them. I’ve got a great family that will be there for me no matter where I’m living.

 

I feel extremely shallow saying this, but my career is the single most satisfying thing in my life. I love my job and the fact that I’m running a unit with hundreds of employees and millions in revenue. I want to run the entire division and am not going to be satisfied until I’m doing so. (Leaving “shallow” behind and charging towards “egomaniacal.”)

 

I think the career chase is like so many other things in life, no matter what people tell you…you just have to experience it for yourself. You need to have been there and done that before you can turn your back on it. Otherwise, you risk eternally regretting the path not taken.

 

Again, thanks for the feedback and well considered thoughts.

[+ deej]

>New York, New York.

 

(singing along)

 

It's a toddling town....

 

Oh, that's Chicago that's a toddling town. Sorry. :+ Got my Frank Sinatra songs mixed up.

 

(Which actually led to a long discussion with a friend in SF about what exactly "toddling" is.)

 

Seriously, an environment is what you make of it. If you make it great, that's what it will be.

[Guest JT]

The lure of NYC? I'm surprised that Rick Munroe's name has not popped up somewhere in this thread yet! :o

 

Now on a less serious note! }> For me, finding the right place to live is a very personal thing (BTW, I've just recently finished shopping for a new home myself). It may be a good idea to visit NYC for 2 - 3 weeks (e.g. on your vacation) before you make your decision. While you're there, you can find out more about many of the excellent places that others have suggested here. Better still, maybe you can get some of the fine NYC boys to personally show you around! :9

 

JT

[Will]

Ten minutes ago I walked in the door from having spent four glorious days in New York. I have more to report, but in the form of a review. For the moment, however, I want to respond quickly to this interesting inquiry -- without, I confess, having read all the other contributions. For what it's worth from someone who has lived in New York and who would live there again in a nanosecond and who goes to New York as often as he can, this is what I think:

 

1. It is totally unhip to acknowledge that one likes the Upper East Side. But I do. I do not find it boring, because I like museums, galleries, bookstores, antique shops and all kinds of other things that get sold in neighborhoods where filthy rich people live. There are places where the overdressed wives of South American drug lords are too audible and others where the ladies' faces are so tight they look as though they were suspended from marionette strings in the back of their heads, but -- I admit it, however uncool it may be -- I love the Upper East Side.

 

2. I also love the West Village even more. But it's difficult to get to and from, unless you work in Midtown. Basically I would live anywhere north of Houston Street but south of 34th Street. I would live in Murray Hill and the Upper East Side. I would not live on the Upper West Side because it is full of nouveau-riches breeders. I would live way up, above 116th Street on the West Side, near Columbia and Riverside Drive.

 

3. From my point of view, SoHo and Tribeca are detestable, because the bad-taste breeders are even more aggressive and conspicuous than they are on the Upper West Side. But I like Little Italy.

 

4. Don't forget the charms of parts of Brooklyn.

 

All of this is easy for me because I don't live in my second-favorite US location, which is Southern California, either. I've been exiled in Northern Ohio (of which I am not a native and to which I'm hardly acclimated) for what seems like the better part of a century, and right now an apartment in Jersey City or Hoboken doesn't look so bad at all.

 

So, I confess that I'm envious!

[liubit]

New York ROCKS! To all the PLUS aspects highlighted in previous posts, I would add the fabulous quantity and quality of working boys. Plain yummy! :9 :9 :9 I love this city, I LOVE living here!