Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

[ariadne1880]

I recently had an unsatisfying experience hiring a guy in NYC (didn't look like his photos, bad commmunication, hustled me out after 1 hour of a 2 hour appt, didn't deliver -- the usual) who had come recommended.

 

I decided, however, not to write a review beacuse he seemed like a genuinely nice guy who just doesn't have his act together. I didn't want to hurt him by writing a bad review.

 

Did I make the right decision? What would you do in similar circumstances (and could describe in detail if one wishes)?

 

Thoughts?

 

Mark

 

PS: By the way, I posted something in the masseur category about Tom Reeve in Chicago. Just about the hottest, most gorgeous guy I've ever seen in the flesh. He only does massages but I think I'd pay just to look at him for an hour -- and he had a great personality to boot!

[DCR]

He may be a nice guy, but so are the guys on this board.

 

Don't we deserve to know an escort who cheats you out of an hour and posts pictures that are not his?

 

The idea isn't to hurt anyone. The idea is to help people.

 

I'd appreciate it if you posted a review.

[alanalt]

Mark,

 

I guess I'd have to say I disagree strongly with your decision. From what you've told us here, the escort let you down in some pretty key aspects of his business. Compared to a poor performance in what he does for a living, the fact that he's a 'nice guy' is pretty well irrelevant. Let me put it this way, if you hired an accountant and he overbilled you, was poor in communication and generally did unsatisfactory work, would you still recommend him/her to your friends (or anyone) just because he's a nice person? Or would you, in fact, tell your friends and acquaintances that Joe Accountant might be fun to have a drink with, but I won't trusting him with my books again?

 

I can understand reluctance in writing an unfavourable review of an escort if the chemistry wasn't right. If the escort showed up on time, did what was promised/discussed and still left your with 'Mr. Floppy', that can be a tough experience to try to objectively evaluate and share.

 

But when a guy who is (presumably) charging you hundreds of dollars doesn't give you the time that was promised, didn't deliver service that was promised and generally 'didn't have his act together', than what the heck were you paying him for? In those cases, you're not hurting him with a bad review, he's hurting himself by delivering poor service. And by not reviewing him, you're both rewarding him for a sub-par performance as well as your failing your fellow clients by failing to alert them to the 'possibility' of a sub-par performance, particularly if he's well-reviewed or recommended.

 

Just my thoughts,

 

Alan

[+ newatthis]

[p] OK, I'll bite.

 

>Did I make the right decision?

No.

 

>What would you do in similar circumstances...?

Write a review detailing the issues and give a heads up to those who might hire him. If I thought he was a nice guy despite his professional failings, I would mention that.

 

(Personal confession: I didn't follow this advice after my first negative experience. I later learned that several posters here who had had bad experiences with the escort in question long before mine also had not written negative reviews, and could have saved me from my expensive mistake.)

[JT Brooklyn]

IMHO..Your decision. BUT by just "asking the question" I think you know the right answer NOW!..Unfortunately after the fact!

 

Your hookup does not sound like a Fun Time at all! Paying for 2 Hrs and getting less than that, is just a Rip Off!

 

He was a "NICE GUY", apparently not that "NICE"! IMHO of course..

 

This is why this site is Great, you pass along your experience's, The Working Guy can Respond!

 

Now I'm guessing he will just go on being "Not That Nice" to those who follow!

 

x(

[alanalt]

>ps:

> - Maybe I shouldn't be posting here, but I just couldn't keep

>myself from doing it. :-)

 

And why not? Your points on this subject are thoughtful and well-presented, which I've come to expect and appreciate whenever I see your posts!

 

Alan

[buckguy]

He doesn't sound like a "nice guy". I recently posted about a negative experience--I'm still thinking about how to compose the review--but the point is that I still plan to write a review. My guy didn't really seem to have malice of forethought (we ran over the hour, he got me off, he also looked like his pics). I think he's a nice guy who may not fully recognize or accept his limits. But your guy is definitely in the "malice of forethought" category.

[whipped guy]

RE: Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

 

Mark... The fact that you still refer to the escort in question as a “nice guy” possibly gives me some insight into your personality… or at least a personality type who is overly forgiving and often considers them self to be part of the problem, whether it be due to frame of mind or other factors. Now I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I am filtering your posting through my own eyes, so in essence I am more or less describing how I might have reacted to a similar situation… and indeed I have made the same mistake… and it was a big mistake that not only involved big bucks but a mistake that could have save others big bucks as well.

 

In other words, as “newatthis” posted above: "I later learned that several posters here who had had bad experiences with the escort in question long before mine also had not written negative reviews, and could have saved me from my expensive mistake."

 

Now when a client is a “nice guy” he tends to think the escort is of a similar bent… and while many are decent and caring individuals, others are basically good individuals but incompetent. Still others are devious, crafty, and prey on the weak minded. The more reviews the more knowledge, thus allowing one to be able to make a sound and rational hiring decision.

[JT Brooklyn]

RE: Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

 

Yup! What Whip said! LOL ;-)

[Louis]

RE: Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

 

Mark, I think that maybe you are enfatuated by his looks. Not all good looking people are nice people. He stole money from you because he did not render the service you paid for.

You mention that maybe he's confused, well if you post a review of him it may help him with his confusion.

[ariadne1880]

RE: Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

 

First, I didn't say the pictures weren't his. I said he didn't look like his photos. That's two different things.

 

Second, I don't blame myself one bit so enough please with the psychoanalyzing of my personality.

 

I appreciated all of the comments. Here's how the experience went and I'll think about posting the review.

 

The person in question came recommended with some caveats. So I knew that beforehand.

 

The person is an immigrant so there was a communication problem. But we finally got that figured out and we agreed on a time, place, and cost. Here's what happened.

 

The appt. was for 8 to 10 pm on a Friday night in NYC. It was an "in-call." We discussed in advance what we were going to do (a comprehensive wrestling fantasy session). I was coming from the west side. At 7:35 pm, while I was on the crosstown bus, I got a text message saying the following:

 

"I forgot I had a dinner with my friends. Can I see you later?"

 

I responded by saying "I am on my way. The appt was for 8 pm. Are you telling me to go back to my hotel?"

 

He responded by saying "Can I come to you later?"

 

This went on for a few minutes before I said "OK. I'm heading back to the hotel. I'm very disappointed."

 

He texted back "Please come now."

 

At this point, I realize, I should have canceled and just forgot about hit but I did go.

 

I arrived at 7:58 pm. He was friendly -- although the apartment was very dark and smelled like it had taken a perfume bath -- and greeted me with a hug. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. He said and I quote exactly:

 

"What are you into?" I looked at him dumbfounded since I had gone into great detail about what I wanted. I said "wrestling fantasy?" He said "oh."

 

I went into his bathroom and changed and came out and he was wearing speedos. His photos -- and his ad -- described a "ripped, muscular guy." Well .... he was but only in a beefy kind of way. He had a gut -- hard but protruding and not a six pack at all. It looked like he hadn't really worked out hard in about a year.

 

I made a comment and he said he was training for martial arts these days and was not as "cut as I used to be."

 

OK. I proceeded. The session turned into him basically showing me his wrestling training which is not at all what I wanted or what we agreed to.

 

But, yes, I plead guilty to being a "nice guy" or would some of you call me a "sap?" So I just went with it thinking that we'd eventually get to where I wanted to go.

 

However, 9 pm rolled around and he jumped into the shower and started to usher me out the door -- one hour short of the time we agreed to. I figured I should just leave. I gave him half of what we agreed to and then he said for one hour I get XXX amount. I gave him the extra money and just got out of there.

 

Yes, it was a complete waste of my time and money -- especially since NYC offers so many other choices.

 

Yes, I should write a review but felt the guy was not a con artist or out to cheat me but just a guy who doesn't have his act together. I felt bad for him. Yes, that makes me a "sap."

 

So, I take it the vote is that I should write the review and I guess I'll think about that.

 

Mark

[buckguy]

RE: Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

 

Hate to be harsh, but anything that a client would call "a complete waste of money" justifies a negative review.

 

As someone who has hired over the last decade with a variety of experiences:

 

(1) It's a bad sign when you get a call about a delay less than 2 min. before an appointment and it isn't along the lines of "I'm stuck in traffic a short distance away". A credible guy with a credible delay will give you notice.

 

(2) If he has pics with a six pack and you show up and he's got a paunch, it's time to write a review.

 

(3) If he forgets a fantasy that was a main point of the appointment, it's time to write a review.

 

If he really is a nice guy whose disorganized, this will be a wake up call. If you write a detailed "just the facts ma'am" review and he replies with "the client smelled", most people will realize that the straightforward description carries the day.

[alanalt]

RE: Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

 

I don't think of you as a sap and hope you didn't construe my previous posts as indicative. As you point out "it was a complete waste of my time and money." That statement alone would warrant a review in my book no matter what you may believe his motivation to be. If he's not a con artist but just doesn't have his act together, then he should be grateful for an objective evaluation of his services. But whether he will appreciate/use the feedback, a review along the lines of what you just wrote would certainly give clients an indication of what they may be letting themselves in for.

 

Alan

[whipped guy]

RE: Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

 

RE: Second, I don't blame myself one bit so enough please with the psychoanalyzing of my personality. [/font color=blue]

 

Mark… Sorry if I sounded as if I were “psychoanalyzing” your personality. Doing so based on a couple of lines posted in an informal forum would be a ludicrous thing to attempt. However, I have been in the same situation and (as I probably inadequately tried to convey) my posting was filtered through and based on my feelings, reactions, and experiences in a similar set of circumstances… Also, I thought that I had adequately prefaced my remarks with a “disclaimer” of sorts so as not to cause any offense.

 

Regarding writing a review, you will make a decision with which you will be comfortable… and such a decision will be made based on your feelings, reactions, as filtered by your personal experiences.

[+ Lucky]

I hope that you do file a review of this escort. One disincentive is that negative rviews of popular escorts often cause retaliation here in the forums from fans who think their guy can do no wrong. Another disincentive is the escort's right to the last word. Often he accuses the client of smelling bad, using drugs, or other derogatory things that the client cannot then respond to. But without the reviews, the site would be worthless since they are the core of its being. So, just try to be fair and stick to the facts as you saw them, and then let the chips fall where they do.

[ariadne1880]

RE: Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

 

Sorry, the analyzing is a bit much. I am not "enfatuated" with this looks. I didn't find him that good-looking at all. Where do people get this stuff from?

 

Mark

[+ ArVaGuy]

RE: Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

 

It's up to you to decide if you want to submit a review. The general consensus is going to be for a review to be submitted.

 

After all that is the purpose of this site - sharing of client experiences in order to help both clients and escorts. Good escorts get good reviews and more business. Clients get information about the really good guys and the scam artists. And we also learn about the "nice guys" who may be out of shape, don't deliver what they promised, and rush a client through an appointment then have the nerve to ask for more money.

 

Writing a review can be a challenge. And by "review" I mean more than "he fucks real good but I'll keep the details between us" type of review. Negative reviews are even harder to write especially if you are really trying to be objective. But even more difficult are those of the mediocre variety which sounds like what you are describing.

 

Fortunately most of my reviews have been positive ones. However, I've had to write two rather negative ones. And one for a very mediocre experience that even a year later I'd like to revise one more time.

 

Also, as Lucky points out you have to be prepared for some criticism either from fans of a guy or the escort himself. Know this; an escort's reply says more about the escort than it does the client. The typical fall back excuse that the client "smelled bad" or "wanted to bareback and I don't do that” (Ha!) or had some other issue that escort concocts to avoid responsibility is par for the course.

 

What's important here is the sharing of experiences to the benefit of everyone. If you had read a review that outlined the very situation you described would you have hired the guy? I speculate that the answer would be certainly not because he obviously could not provide what you are looking for even though he's a "nice guy". So you would be doing your fellow clients a favor by submitting the review. And it may help the escort as well because he may not be aware of his need for improvement. Or he may just reply in a manner that reveals he really wasn't such a "nice guy" after all.

[ariadne1880]

Thanks for all of the input. I will put my thoughts together and write a review.

 

Now, if only the site would allow me to write a review of "Justin in NYC" who never showed up and who only gets good reviews.

 

Now, THAT's a negative review I'd write with pleasure.

 

Cheers,

Mark

[+ ArVaGuy]

>Just my thoughts.

>

>With best intentions, Anton/Amsterdam.

>

>ps:

> - Maybe I shouldn't be posting here, but I just couldn't keep

>myself from doing it. :-)

 

 

 

Anton, I certainly hope you were being facetious with your comment here because escort perspectives are important on this site IMHO. And your posts are always interesting and insightful. OK, now I will be accused by someone of trying to curry favor with an escort.

[Guest zipperzone]

>Thanks for all of the input. I will put my thoughts together

>and write a review.

 

Quite frankly, after reading your post describing in detail what went down, I'd say you HAVE written a review. Not one that can be found by anyone researching the official reviews, but a review none-the-less.

[+ Charlie]

RE: Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

 

After reading your description of what was obviously a thoroughly unsatisfying experience for you, I was floored when I got to your line, "I felt bad for him." (!!) It doesn't sound like he felt bad for YOU, which is the way it should have been. Frankly, the guy sounds clueless, and is not likely to improve unless someone tells him the truth about himself. Please submit a review with all the particulars decsribed above, but leave out the line about feeling bad for HIM.

[ariadne1880]

RE: Not posting a bad review because he was a "nice" guy?

 

Sorry, I'm just a nice guy. He's obviously trying to make money and so I felt bad for HIM because he was so clueless and he probably won't make it doing this.

 

I think that is a normal, human reaction.

 

Mark

[+ glutes]

Really!

 

Are you teasing us?? Name the guy Mark, that what this message board is all about - save us a repeat of spending good $ on just a 'nice guy'...

[Guest msclonly]

Right on about enough information now.

 

All that is needed is a 'light' review in the way of a name.

 

There is really no need to go into any more detail, that you might be uncomfortable with.

[Guest zipperzone]

RE: Really!

 

>Are you teasing us?? Name the guy Mark, that what this

>message board is all about - save us a repeat of spending good

>$ on just a 'nice guy'...

 

I guess there is no way this can come across as anything but a bitchy remark. It won't be the 1st time I've been accused of that.

 

But.........

 

Did it strike anyone else that the originater of this thread, who name appears to be Mark, is aptly named?