Fin Fang Foom asks a semantic question

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

Lest anyone think I'm getting complacent this holiday weekend, I figured it's about time that I asked a question that is sure to get some guy's panties in a twist.

 

I see guys describe themselves in the following way: overweight, husky, stocky, heavy, portly, stout, big, beefy, chunky, heavyset, thick, or potbellied. Rarely ever do guys just call a spade a spade and say that they are "fat".

 

What's up with that?

 

Polemically yours,

 

FFF

[buzz]

"Fat" has really serious negative connotations. Society uses "fat" as a derogatory put-down and those of us who are "avoirdupois challenged" have spent years, if not lifetimes, being called "fatty" and other such endearing terms hate to face the grim truth. Some of the less derogatory terms help our battered self-esteem, so cut us some slack.

 

As for me, I am all of the above....including "fat." I don't like it but I have tried and failed to reduce too often to make anything but fat work in my life. Thank God for chubby chasers; I am amazed at how many there are and how gorgeous they are and how appreciative they are of excess poundage.

[Guest cassius]

>Rarely ever do guys

>just call a spade a

>spade and say that they

>are "fat".

>

>What's up with that?

>

 

"Fat" is a pejorative word in this society so people often prefer not to use it to describe themselves. Did you really not know that?

 

What I can't figure out is those who urge fat people to be content or complacent about it. Being significantly overweight over a long period of time can and usually does lead to serious health problems. The issue of sexual attractiveness is the least of it. Telling someone he should be content with such health risks is like telling him to keep smoking or do nothing about his alcoholism. In other words, it's insane.

[Guest ItalianLover]

Have you ever considered that someone might "not want" to be fat , but has little power over it ?

 

Hormonal dysfunctions , eat-disorders , depression , are all causes , if not sometimes symptoms...

 

So, you "skinny" guys out there , try to be understanding.

 

And by the way,who said that chicken-legs are attractive ?? *grin*

 

ItalianLover

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

Thanks for the cogent answer. I'm glad it didn't get your panties in a twist. :-)

 

Appreciatively yours,

 

FFF

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

>

>Have you ever considered that someone

>might "not want" to be

>fat , but has little

>power over it ?

>

>Hormonal dysfunctions , eat-disorders , depression

>, are all causes ,

>if not sometimes symptoms...

 

At the risk of sounding crass and uncaring, everyone, without any exception, has the power to not shove a Twinkie in their face. There is not some unseen force that pushes someone to the freezer and force feeds them a quart of Ben & Jerry's. That act is a deliberate choice. Are there people with hormonal imbalances? Yes. But they are a very small percentage of overweight people. The fact is, the vast majority of people who are fat are that way because they take in more calories than they burn. Plain and simple.

 

As for depression, most people are depressed because they are fat and not fat because they are depressed. I get annoyed when people make excuses for their behavior and don't fess up and say: "I'm fat because I eat anything I want and I never exercise. And frankly, I don't feel like getting up off my ass and doing something about it. And furthermore, I don't care that I'm fat."

 

What another poster said is very true: being overweight is a hazard to your health. Many fat guys rant about safe sex and how unsafe sex can kill. Well guess what? There's no such thing as a really old fat man. If you're 55 and 100lbs overweight, it's more than likely you'll die of coronary disease before you'll die of AIDS if you contracted HIV tomorrow.

 

Am I trying to rag on fat guys? Hell no. I have no problem whatsoever with fat guys. However, I do feel sorry for the guys who wish they weren't big but don't make the time to exercise and choose to change their diets.

 

Gosh I sound harsh! I really a pussycat.

 

Meekly yours,

 

FFF

[Guest WetDream]

"The fact is, the vast majority of people who are fat are that way because they take in more calories than they burn. Plain and simple."

 

True. But far from plain and simple. Body image is one of the most complex psychological constructs. Also, losing weight is the easy part. Maintaining weight loss over time is incredibly difficult. Unfortunately, the body "remembers" the heavier weight and tries to recapture it. Current studies indicate that a formerly fat (yes, I've used the forbidden word) person must burn more calories that a slender person to stay within the normal range. It can be done, but it takes extraordinary will and eternal vigilance.

[Guest WetDream]

RE: P.S. FFF

 

Hope you don't think I'm anti semantic.

[Guest jc92103]

As for depression, most people are

>depressed because they are fat

>and not fat because they

>are depressed.

 

Perhaps you should check your facts regarding depression.

 

It seems to me that this topic was created only to create a bit of drama in the forum. A hobby of many message board visitors.

[ted]

As one who has lived in 40" waists which were way to tight, went down to a 33" waist four years ago, and is currently struggling to not go back above a 34, let me say to those who have never been there, it is extremely tough. Part of the current battle is a slight depression, and it makes it even tougher. With the current state of business, travel schedule, and not being 100%, it really is a full time job just to maintain, and guess what, my job(boss) doesn't think it rates up there with about 3 other things high on his list. I would love to lose another 25 lbs, which would probably get me down to a 32, which Ive only seen once since college, but I already work out 4 times a week with 40 minutes of cardio, and watch what I eat and barely maintain at that.

[Guest Kevin 2]

"There is not some unseen force that pushes someone to the freezer and force feeds them a quart of Ben & Jerry's."

You mean this force has never been with you?? LOL ;-)

 

"And by the way,who said that chicken-legs are attractive ?? *grin*" AMEN!! Show me some meat or muscle on them bones!

 

Well I could say alot on this subject but I will limit my thoughts..But the one thing that I think is RUDE AS HELL is for someone to walk up to you and say WOW looks like you put on a few pounds. Yikes how rude can you get...do you really think that the person you are telling this doesn't already know?? HELLO

 

I will say that losing weight IMO is the hardest thing to do..lets face it a smoker doesn't have to smoke to live, an acholic doesn't need alchol to live, however we all NEED to eat to stay alive.

In case you are wondering NO I'm NOT fat, however I could lose a few pounds thats for sure..;-)

Ok I have said enough for now...My .02 cents worth.

[+ Lucky]

Okay, Foom, what are your physical characteristics? What is your diet? Are you depressed or just bitchy? Inquiring minds want to know, since you seem to wake up in the morning and randomly decide on whom you want to launch your attack of the day.

I am sure that you are not too big for your britches, and hopefully, you don't wear panties...

[Guest Raffy]

Back to your original question, fff. Fat people don't call themselves fat for the same reason you don't call yourself a moron. It's obvious to everyone, but there are kinder terms.

 

Your rant about why people are fat sounds like some right wing christian nut explaining why people are gay. "Because they choose to be." Gimme a break.

 

Now i gotta go fix my Calvins...

[Guest Bitchboy]

All right, I'm gonna reveal something here about myself and I'm feeling vulnerable. But I'm a former fatty. I spent all my youth up until 22 at around 245 lbs. I'm not sure which came first: the depression or the fat. But I have a strong feeling it was the depression. I blew up at 5 when I was separated from the rest of my family (something I'm not going into here!).

 

At any rate, at 22 I had had enough of the fat shit. I did go on one of those unhealthy crash diets and lost 93 lbs. in four months. I'm now mid-30's and have struggled since the day I ended the diet to maintain my body. It is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm presently 5'9", 160lbs, with a 29 inch waist. It changed my life so dramatically that I will do whatever I have to maintain this until I drop dead. Yet, it is difficult. It is an all-consuming battle that rules pretty much all aspects of your life. It is not for the squeamish. I have great sympathy for those who can't hack it.

[Guest VanBCGuy]

>As for depression, most people are >depressed because they are fat

>and not fat because they

>are depressed.

 

For the most part, I enjoy reading the forums. But every so often, someone forgets the "read twice, post once" rule. I think trivializing people's problems demonstrates ignorance.

 

Depression is a complex and largely misunderstood illness. My mother suffers from this, but did manage to raise 4 kids, at great sacrifice to her own happiness. I took me 10 years to stop saying "If she would only ..."

 

FFF, I know you were just trying to add another topic to the forums, so please don't think I am directing this at you. I really enjoy your wit and comments. Thanks.

[Traveller]

RE: P.S. FFF

 

>Hope you don't think I'm anti

>semantic.

 

Big laugh. Of course, Mr. Arbuckle ruined the word "fat" decades ago.

 

Later.

 

PS. The BF's mother is from Spain, so whenever I put on an extra 4 or 5 lbs, I hear vaca constantly. He knows that if he does likewise, I'll dump his ass.

 

PPS. I do bow to the god of superficiality every morning.

[Guest WetDream]

RE: I Suddenly Remembered...

 

..a story by Stan Freeberg about Lucy Mildred S, a young woman who was 5'2" and weighed over 300 pounds. She was so unhappy that she ran away to New York City and auditioned to become a chorus girl. The great quote: "The producer only wanted tall think girls, so Lucy Mildred lied."

[Guest cassius]

No doubt losing weight is a lot harder for some people than for others, and through no fault of their own. So what? It's hard for people who have diabetes to deal with the restrictions that this disease imposes on them and hard for alcoholics to keep away from booze in social situations in which everyone else is drinking. The fact that it's hard is no reason to ignore the problem. Even worse is to pretend it isn't a problem but a harmless trait like skin color.

 

 

It makes no difference whether people describe themselves as "fat" or use one of a hundred different euphemisms. It's still a health problem and needs to be addressed, not ignored.

[mmk]

RE: I Suddenly Remembered...

 

I feel that if a person is heavy and they are happy with themselves and they are able to say "Hey, this is me, screw everyone else" Then I say more power to them. I was a heavy child but fortunately when puberty hit I grew to a height of 6'1 so that helped the heavy matter. No I do not go to the gym as often as aI should but I do go a few days a week. I could afford to lose about 10 to fifteen punds but ten years ago I was down to 185lbs ( i am currently at 208) and people said I looked sickly. I was told by a physical trainer that getting in shape is the tough part, maintaining your shape is easier. Even when I was at 185 I still thought I was heavy. Your physical image may change but the mental one you have of yourself is harder to change. And FFF (I do love your very dry sarcasm and the way you tell it like it is-that is very refreshing) the words descriptive words you had in your query (thick, husky, burly,etc) are not neccessarily synonyms of the word fat.

[buzz]

Hey Fin,

 

You raised a good question....and, no, with my heft, my panties don't twist very easily.

 

Thanks for giving me the chance to sound off.

 

buzz

[Guest JD]

I am one of those fat people and even started a thread about how escorts handle their "full figure" clients.

 

I call myself "fat" for the same reason I refer to myself as "queer". It's much easier if I can use those terms and feel comfortable hearing them. It somehow takes away the sting when less-caring people use it much like the "n" word or the "b" word.

[Guest WetDream]

RE: P.S. Traveller

 

"Of course, Mr. Arbuckle ruined the word "fat" decades ago."

 

But think what he did for Coca Cola stock! And that was before the sleek, Raymond Lowey-designed bottle.

 

Sooner.

[Traveller]

RE: P.S. Traveller

 

>But think what he did for

>Coca Cola stock! And

>that was before the sleek,

>Raymond Lowey-designed bottle.

>

>Sooner.

 

 

I love it. And the post on the Gabours was great. (Poor Magda.) You have to fly out from SF and join MrB and me on our field trip to Stellas.

 

Later.

[+ Charlie]

Suppose you are 5'8" and weigh 200 lbs: are you "fat"? That depends on a lot of factors, such as your age, muscular development, skin tone, hairiness, grooming, clothing sense, skeletal structure, and weight distribution. "Fat" is a subjective evaluation, not an objective description, and anyone who uses it to describe himself obviously has a negative self-image--which is not necessarily bad if most observers would also describe him as fat, since it may motivate him to change.

 

And for those who are "weight challenged" but comfortable with the fact, there is always the consolation that there are "chubby chasers" and "bear lovers" out there. (For the record, I am slightly below the average weight for my hight, and am attracted to both bears and beanpoles--it's the total package I care about, not one superficial aspect.)

[Guest Viewmaster]

>I see guys describe themselves in

>the following way: overweight, husky,

>stocky, heavy, portly, stout, big,

>beefy, chunky, heavyset, thick, or

>potbellied. Rarely ever do guys

>just call a spade a

>spade and say that they

>are "fat".

>

>What's up with that?

 

That's because whoever is doing the self description has determined that the really "fat" people all weight 5 lbs more than they do.