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no show escort for weekend trip


cougar
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I just started reading this thread now, and that was my FIRST thought! I have warned clients multiple times to never advance the fee for an extended trip. The fact that you bought the nonrefundable airfare proves your seriousness. (In your case, the fact that you've hired him so many times also proves your seriousness). I'm sorry, but most escorts are not saints! Whether you know it or not, many have drug habits or other dire financial needs. Unless he was truly unconscious (i.e. in the hospital on a ventilator machine), the fact that he didn't even bother to call you represents truly abhorent behavior. It absolutely boggles the mind that anyone could be so sociopathic and callous. Even if both his parents died, there's no excuse for not taking 30 seconds to leave you a message.

If the facts are that you paid him in advance, move on and learn from the experience. He owes you a major explanation, big-time, and you shouldn't have to drag it out of him. Quite frankly, it's hard for me to imagine a situation in which this guy isn't just being a self-centered ass. After all, he admitted to getting your two messages and choosing not to respond.

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RE: I finally hear from the escort

 

>Since it looks like alot of people are following this

>developing story, I have finally heard from the missing

>escort.

>He didn't make contact with me until after, I sent him my

>first and only e-mail. The e-mail was very sweet and

>apologized many times for missing the planned trip. He told me

>something very serious came up, and he is safe, but didn't not

>go into detail. He says that he will bring me up to date very

>soon. Needless to say, I was happy to hear from him, and he

>admitted that he was afraid to answer my three calls because

>he knew how much we both wanted to take this trip.

 

Glad to hear you've heard from him. :) He sounds like he's being honest with ya, and hopefully he's truly alright and you two can move on from there once he's past whatever situation he's in. Good luck! At least now, you hopefully feel better.

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Thank you Unicorn for your comments. Even though I am happy to hear that he is okay, I still agree with you that it only takes 30 seconds to give me a call and leave a message. If he is affraid to talk to me right now, he knows my work schedule and call always call the house at that time and leave a message. Although, I have heard from him, all I have is that one e-mail, time is of the essence here. My patience is beginning to wear thin now somewhat since he hasn't made futher contact. He wasn't in the hospital, I called and checked that on Sunday. I didn't pay him his fee upfront, the only expense I paid upfront was the required ones, hotel, airfare and rental car. So It has been a week now since today is Friday, and yes I am still waiting.

With that being said, if I don't have a conversation with him here very soon, the no show review will be posted, and I now have an e-mail from him that gives the proof that hooboy requires.

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Guest Tampa Yankee

RE: I finally hear from the escort

 

>... he admitted that he was afraid to answer my three calls

> because he knew how much we both wanted to take this trip.

 

ROFL... sorry, I couldn't help myself, really.:7

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RE: I finally hear from the escort

 

>. Needless to say, I was happy to hear from him, and he

>admitted that he was afraid to answer my three calls because

>he knew how much we both wanted to take this trip.

 

I'm glad you finally e-mailed him and then heard from him. It was no surprise that he was afraid to return your calls. It is much easier to respond by e-mail if you feel someone will be angry or that you may have to deal with their emotions. Good luck to you both.

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Guest Tampa Yankee

Nails, Oxes and Obligations

 

> It was no surprise that he was afraid to return your calls. It is

>much easier to respond by e-mail if you feel someone will be

>angry or that you may have to deal with their emotions.

 

KY, you hit the nail on the head.

 

Cougar, now that you have established communication how will you get this ox out of the ditch? Is it possible? You dropped a bundle on this guy in time and dollars. Can this be chalked up simply to 'shit happens' ? IMO if he had a really serious circumstance beyond his control causing the missed appointment he woudn't have hesitated to contact you even although he knew you would be disappointed. Shit happens, it really does, but when it does happen communication is necessary. No communication probably means a 'choice' was made; maybe a difficult or unpleasant one, maybe not, but a choice just the same. Either way, IMO he has an obligation to you -- one that involves time and money.

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RE: Nails, Oxes and Obligations

 

Yes Tampa Yankee,

I am beginning to feel that way. If it were something really serious, he wouldn't have thought twice about calling me. However, I am beginning to think that this was a choice that he made, shit he could have called me the night before or the day of the flight and things would have been better. But since he has finally made contact, he is dragging his feet too damn much considering how much effort and money I have invested in him. I am shocked that he hasn't made any effort to reach me, and I think you would be too since you gave him a great review yourself.

I don't know what has happened but honestly, I am beginning to question his honesty or desire to make it up to me as he wants to do. So, I guess I will just have to wait and might be surprised when he does follow through on his promise to contact me. At any rate, I have already written the review and saving it until....until what, I don't know....is it hope?

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RE: Nails, Oxes and Obligations

 

Cougar:

 

At this point, posting the review is less important than accepting the fact that the escort considers your relationship far less important than you do. We have all been there, but one can not reach any other conclusion after all this time. It appears that he is waiting for you to contact him to schedule the next date. Take some time away from escorts and enjoy other aspects of your life. You deserve some down time. Again, good luck!

 

Alan

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RE: Nails, Oxes and Obligations

 

Cougar

 

Have been following this thread with interest as recently I had my first extended date with a fabulous escort found from this site. The thought of him standing me up purposely never entered my head. I plan on having many more such dates with him (thank goodness he lives too far to be habit forming;-) ) so would like to know when your guy finally (if he does at all) explains WHY....I have, albeit a bit naively, thought up to now that no-shows like that would only happen to first time clients or due to unforseen circumstances. Keep us posted...and if he doesn't respond in the next few days, post the review. I agree with the fact that it may not do your feelings much good now, but the rest of us should know to avoid that...and maybe when he sees the review he'll finally respond?!x(

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RE: Nails, Oxes and Obligations

 

>I don't know what has happened but honestly, I am beginning to

>question his honesty or desire to make it up to me as he wants

>to do. So, I guess I will just have to wait and might be

>surprised when he does follow through on his promise to

>contact me.

 

Cougar, if he was going to be honest with you he would have done so long ago. Even if something horrific did happen, such as he got a phone call saying his parents were in a horrible car accident right before he was going to leave for the airport, the fact that he was supposed to go on a trip with you couldn't possibly have "slipped his mind." Even if he was too shocked to call you immediately, he would have remembered SOME time later that day and at least left you a phone message.

Likewise, even if he were the one who got into a terrible accident on his way to the airport, he's clearly had the time at this point to apologize with an explanation. At this point, I can't imagine you'll get an honest answer. Although you probably have more trouble than I do believing that anyone could behave this way, the facts are pretty clear now. Not only did he behave it an utterly callous way to someone who apparently treated him kindly for quite some time, but he's quite unremorseful about it.

If he had any sense of remorse, he would have at least e-mailed you. If he truly felt bad, he would have called you. Although he may at some point regret the consequences of his actions and send an apologetic note, I don't see how one could interpret it as sincere at this point. The best you can do is warn others with a review, which may at least save a few others from what you had to go through. Since he can rebut your review, and you can't "re-direct," be sure to spell out everything in the review that you've mentioned to us, especially with respect to the time frames of his non-response. Anyone who believes one can explain away over a week of non-response to a total blow-off like this deserves what he gets.

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part of my previous post didn't post up....what follows is the remaining part of my post....second time is a charm:

 

Need your suggestions on how I should respond following a no show on the escorts part for a planned weekend trip. This escort and I have had 19 dates since January of this year, including a trip together this past summer. Needless to say, we have a very established client/escort relationship.

We had planned a trip together this weekend. But when I got on the jet to join him on this connecting flight, he wasn't there. Since I was on the jet, with checked luggage, I knew the airline wouldn't let me de-plane. At that time, I called his phone, no answer and left a message.

After I completed the flight, I went to the ticket counter and they confirmed that he was a no show for the first leg of the flight and he hadn't gotten on the next flight out of his home city that would be bringing him here also. At that time I called his number again, no answer, and told him I hoped nothing had happened and wanted him to call me. Not knowing what to do now, I decided to get the rental car I had reserved and stay in that city overnight instead of driving to our planned hotel which was 3 hours away.

Here I am 48 hours later, back home after driving back here in the rental car and haven't heard from him, no return calls or e-mails and I haven't called him anymore.

It has been two weeks since our last date and he was still excited about the trip and looking forward to it. Since we haved an established relationship, this no show and no response from him has been tough.

So guys what would you do in following up with this escort? This is out of character for him, he is reviewed here and every reviewer post him as being friendly, caring and one of the best new escorts they had been with. Likewise, I have to agree, otherwise I wouldn't have hired him as frequently as I have. I would never expect this from him, unless something bad has happened that was totally out of his control. I will post a review if I never hear from him, but I have to give him enough time to respond.

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RE: Nails, Oxes and Obligations

 

Thanks for the input from all you guys.

It has been 10 days since we were to leave on the trip. I think I have finally come to realize that he made the choice to be a no show for our trip. Although, he tells me in his only e-mail that he sent to me last wednesday, that something serious did come up, enough time has passed. Regardless of how "serious" it was to him, he has choosen not to explain it to me yet. I do regret his actions, especially when directed to a long term established client he knew he could always count on. Since we have had so many dates (19) this year, naturaly the lines of seperation between client and escort have faded. Having said that, I know this escort in ways other clients don't know him and without going into the details, I am also seeing things that indicate to me that his normal life routine has been disrupted.

 

No shows for a one hour date is one thing, but not showing up on a trip with an established reliable client has shown me in a painful way, that sometimes these "business" relationships can be one sided regardless of how much time and money has been invested. Missing the trip was one thing, but my not knowing and no explaination for 10 days has really changed the scope of what happened here.

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Guest bnabottom

This may sound harsh, but...I think if I were you I would try to find a meaningful, NON COMMERCIAL relationship....I think that if you have seen a paid companion 19 times, that menas you are looking for ....companionship. Genuine companionship. THe kind of companion who won't abandon you without any explanation on a fun trip. If you want that, then you need to stop paying for sex and try to find someone who loves you and to whom you are more than an ATM.

There, I've said it. Commercial sex relationships are always inferior to real relationships, and you shouldn't be surprised when a commercial sex worker treats you in a way that you wouldn't expect from a lover. He is not your lover. he is not your boyfriend. He is someone you pay for sex. So, my own advice is to move on and examine whether having a paid companion for19 times is really a healthy way to construct your emotional and sex life...

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I have finally heard from the escort and he gave me the reason for missing the trip. If he is telling me the truth, I'll admit that the reasons he states can be a very valid reason. I hope to get to get things figured out with him soon, however, there are still a few unanswered questions. I knew from the beginning that this no show was what I would consider out of character for him.

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I agree with bnabottom, you are looking for something from this escort that you will never get.

 

Whatever his reason for missing your date, it took him almost two full weeks to tell you. Even if his reason is valid, there is no excuse for being so casual in providing a reason. Clearly, you have some emotional investment in the relationship, so are maybe a little too ready to forgive him. In other words, you want to go back to the way things were before. Can things ever truly be the same again?

 

Alan

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May I suggest you call his attention to this Thread and the discussion here on his No Show. Then see what his reaction is to the situation. It still seems, from the limited info you have given, that there is a lack of concern for your time and expense related to his actions. Does he know that you have considered a Review about the No Show?

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I don't see what purpose that could serve. How could anyone think that one could let someone go on a vacation, and not even not call them beforehand, but not even give them an explanation until two weeks later, and then think that this wouldn't cause very hard feelings (betrayal, heartache, confusion, rejection, etc.)?? I'm not sure why, but you haven't given us the explanation either (despite the amount of time some people put into helping you). His explanation for totally blowing you off (in the wrong way! }( ) may or may not be true.

What I cannot in my wildest imagination come up with, however, is why he wouldn't let you know why he had to cancel as soon as possible (if not before you actually left, at least the same day, let alone two weeks later). The only reasonable explanation of why he would do this to you involves sociopathy. You may have a lot invested in this guy emotionally, but nothing good comes with an association with a sociopath. I would drop him like a hot potato.

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RE: Nails, Oxes and Obligations

 

>Since we have had so many dates (19) this year, naturaly the

>lines of seperation between client and escort have faded.

 

If by "naturally" you mean it was inevitable, I must disagree. No matter how many times you see someone, unless it stops being the case that you are paying him to spend time with you there is no reason to forget that what you have is a business relationship. It's a mistake to forget that, and now you know why it is a mistake.

 

>No shows for a one hour date is one thing, but not showing up

>on a trip with an established reliable client has shown me in

>a painful way, that sometimes these "business" relationships

>can be one sided regardless of how much time and money has

>been invested.

 

"One sided"? You paid him to spend time with you and he did. It seems to me that the only thing "one sided" is that you had feelings for him that were not reciprocated. Was it ever part of the deal that he should have feelings for you?

 

Many business relationships end because one party gets a better offer from someone else or his circumstances change so that the relationship no longer makes business sense. Why take it personally?

 

You can't have spent much time reading this board without learning that in this business there are a significant number of people on both sides of the transaction who don't always behave responsibly. That's a risk you take whenever you get involved in such an illegal, underground business, in my view because of the sort of people who are attracted to such a business. Agonizing over it makes no sense. If this is not a risk you want to take, you should stop hiring. If you continue, you should expect that this in not the last time something like this will happen to you. Plan accordingly.

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RE: Nails, Oxes and Obligations

 

woodlawn:

 

I am sure cougar will appreciate the sympathy and understanding shown in your posting. It is clear that you have hired many escorts and

quickly overcome any temptation to become emotional involved. Good for you.

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RE: Nails, Oxes and Obligations

 

I have to say that seems a bit cold even though several of your points are valid. When you're with someone sexually, especially more than once, some of us (me included) can't help but feel an emotional connection with that person. Can it go too far? Sure. Is it important to keep it in check and keep in mind that this is an escort you're seeing and not a boyfriend? Of course. But it's VERY easy to get a bit emotionally attached to an escort without meaning to, and a lot of clients are going for the WARMTH too (or at least feeling of warmth)...not just the sex. After you've been around someone long enough who's been warm to you, you can't help but feel a mutual affection exists sometimes.

 

People are often VERY illogical creatures, especially when looking for sex or emotional warmth, so saying that it's silly for people to get emotionally attached to escorts seems a little...well...silly...to me. From a logical standpoint, you're absolutely right. From a human standpoint, I don't think that's something that can be entirely controlled by everyone (some are better at it than others I'm sure).

 

As far as not being surprised when escorts hurt clients emotionally simply because escorting is an illegal activity, well...I think that's been covered in another thread, so I digress here.

 

Just my two cents.

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RE: Nails, Oxes and Obligations

 

>Thanks for the input from all you guys.

>It has been 10 days since we were to leave on the trip. I

>think I have finally come to realize that he made the choice

>to be a no show for our trip. Although, he tells me in his

>only e-mail that he sent to me last wednesday, that something

>serious did come up, enough time has passed. Regardless of how

>"serious" it was to him, he has choosen not to explain it to

>me yet. I do regret his actions, especially when directed to a

>long term established client he knew he could always count on.

>Since we have had so many dates (19) this year, naturaly the

>lines of seperation between client and escort have faded.

>Having said that, I know this escort in ways other clients

>don't know him and without going into the details, I am also

>seeing things that indicate to me that his normal life routine

>has been disrupted.

>

>No shows for a one hour date is one thing, but not showing up

>on a trip with an established reliable client has shown me in

>a painful way, that sometimes these "business" relationships

>can be one sided regardless of how much time and money has

>been invested. Missing the trip was one thing, but my not

>knowing and no explaination for 10 days has really changed the

>scope of what happened here.

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RE: Nails, Oxes and Obligations

 

>I do regret his actions, especially when directed to a

>long term established client he knew he could always count on.

>Since we have had so many dates (19) this year, naturaly the

>lines of seperation between client and escort have faded.

 

Buddy, it's time somebody spelled things out for you. You're a stalker.

 

You've said umpteen times that this escort has done you 19 times since January. That alone gives one pause. But the absurdity of your complaint really hit home when you referred to your expenditures as "an investment" in the relationship.

 

Are you out of your mind?

 

On a lighter note, your wonderful euphemisms remind me of the code real estate agents use to make property flaws sound appealing.

 

[blockquote]Old world charm = everything leaks, from the roof to the laundry room faucet

 

Open kitchen plan = we're moving because a wall in the kitchen fell down

 

Mere steps to the metro = get into cow tipping because there's nothing here but pasture

 

Natural light = zero direct sunlight; the place is a cave

 

Great schools = terrible schools

 

Great neighborhood = the house is between a mental institution and a prison

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