3 Faux Pas' in Escort ads

[Trixie]

Hello everyone! Tonight I have an axe to grind about certain phrases too oft seen in online escort ads. They hint, to me anyway, that one should immediately give this lovely a pass without further ado.

The First Taboo phrase is "Serious inquiries only." This tells me that the escort has way too much "attitude" and not enough strength of character. If I contact an escort, I am always serious... well, substitute serious with curious. But I have special needs, about which I am always upfront, and if the escort wishes to win my custom, he must sell himself. You lovelies are selling a product, much like any electronic goods store. You are going to have to schmooze the client in order to make that sale. I learned long ago that merely contacting an escort does not obligate me to hire him. A truly good escort knows how to weed out the online-sex seekers, but still chat up a potential client. Selling your goods is part of your job. A reply to an inquiry such as "My fee is $300." nothing further, will not win an appointment.

Taboo #2 "Seeking generous clients" Usually the toyboys who add this phrase to their ads don't realize that one is being extremely generous in even entertaining the idea of hiring them. No tip!

Taboo #3 "Seeking ages 18-28" Why is the cut-off date always 28? Is 29 too close to 30, which is obviously aged? These boys are clueless narcissists deluding only themselves.

Fortunately, one runs across these phrases rather rarely. But they will always cause me to pound my "Back" key quite vehemently. My martini is raised to the lovelies who know better.

La Belle Trixie

[Guest Mikel]

You said it all...so all I can add is that I agree. Except with your first objection, I can only imagine that too often many escorts are bothered by folks who have no intention of securing their ervices and only want to attempt to get off the phone. Still, I would expect that experience would teach an escort how to screen such fools so, yes... the statement; "Serious inquiries only" smacks somewhat of an attitude to me also.

[Guest icon513]

I always find the term "very good-looking", when used by an escort to refer to himself, to be meaningless at best. I mean, since everyone has his own standards, what's the use of even using such a term? Show us a photo and let us be the judge!

 

As far as favorite faux pas in reviews, I always love it when the reviewer stresses how "well-educated" the escort was, yet proceeds to pepper his text with elementary school-level spelling and grammar errors.

[Guest DickHo]

Total Tops that show no dick pics but show ass pics. Hey I'm buying your cock, show it to me.

 

Ads that are written in the third person: James is a VGL man. He is a total top and he is a passionate kisser.

 

Did their publicist write this?

 

These are my pet peeves.

[Luv2play]

I used to think "open minded" meant just that but with some experience I have learned that it usually means a "gay for pay" escort that will consent to a roll in the hay with a man. I therefore take it as code language that the escort is straight but will top a male client. If you are looking for some kink, it is better to go with the ads that say "from mild to wild" or "open to just about everything" or "open to most scenes". Of course if the ad is up front and says "open to kink" then there is no ambiguity. }(

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Where No Fool Dares To Paws

 

At least no escort, apparently.

 

As, I believe, one of the few of my colleagues here who makes a substantial amount of his living from being an "AOL Whore," I will offer some rationale as to why escorts believe something along the lines of 'serious inquiries only please' is both necessary and prudent.

 

Often, an escort on line can spend a great deal of time and conversation on someone only to have the person state, "Oh, I don't need to pay" or any number of lines to that or similar effect.

 

Yes, you are quite correct, one does need to "sell" oneself.

 

Even the shoes at Nieman Marcus do not just magically climb onto the feet of the proper wearer and, as any shoe salesman will tell you, it may take four or five boxes of shoes before the buyer finds either a good fit or an appropriate style. Even then, any good shoe salesman will also tell you that the buyer, while very serious, may try on a number of shoes, and none was a good fit or a proper style; this does not mean the buyer was neither serious nor does it mean that the buyer had no intention to buy. It just meant that this was not this buyer's day or location to find a good pair of shoes.

 

I do not want to get into a discussion of THAT.

 

Rather, what I offer is the suggestion of why some escort may respond to men who ask: "wanna play" or "are you never not for hire" or "I don't have to pay for it, but I think your profile is hot" or words to that effect?

 

By the way, for reference, I have never used the "SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY PLEASE" language on any of my on-line escort profiles. I do have the words "PROFESSIONAL MALE COMPANION" as the occupation on all of them and the words "escort" or "compensated man's man" elsewhere. Other common definitions used are "working" or simply "ONLY available for hire" and I will tell you, from my own experience, and that of my escorting friends, even these kinds of profiles still get "wanna fuck" IMs and e-mails and then, when you respond, "I'm an escort." you receive (if you ever do) a response that indicates, "oh sorry, I didn't see that."

 

I will be perfectly honest about one other thing. Any number of on-line escorts DO play on line with their escort profiles. A number of the adult film actors/escorts do this. This creates the precedent that yes, escort X is available without being compensated. I have always suggested to them that since it is easy for anyone to create any number of profiles, to create one for when they want to play and to use different photographs. Not everyone, as I will be the first to admit, considers this sage advice or they simply choose not to take it. Nonetheless, these escorts who "give it away" are not in the majority.

 

One of my ground rules is that my on-line escort profiles are purely for "work" and even close friends of mine, including close friends in the sex industry, whether they work as escorts or not, are told to e-mail me and, at my leisure, as any other worker would return or make a personal call, I will respond.

 

I hope this helps.

[Trixie]

RE: Where No Fool Dares To Paws

 

Forgive me Franco, but I am not part of the chat-room public, so I couldn't quite follow the whole of your response. I'm a gal who likes to make her arrangements ahead of time, and favors escort sites where one e-mails the escorts directly to set up a date.

One can only assume that anyone perusing such sites understands what they are seeing. Any client who e-mails an escort with words to the effect of "I don't need to pay..." or some such thing does not deserve your time.

My feeling is more that escorts who write "serious inquiries only" in their advertisements are those who rush a prospective client into booking an appointment, without giving him a chance to voice any desires, conditions, reservations, etc. he might have. If the client hesitates, or shies away, the escort may consider this a non-serious inquiry. Usually those who use such rush tactics are either very young, or very, very well-known, and sport an attitude that says "You get to feel me up for an hour. What more do you need to know?"

It makes the clients desires seem very secondary.

La Trix

[ted]

RE: Where No Fool Dares To Paws

 

I've seen the daily email(not the contents just the listing) of a few escorts when we've been on trips, and probably 70% of even the supposedly escort email is a waste of their time, so it ends up that about 10% of their email is real. Problem is it takes a lot of time to wade through it, so I understand their desire to try and cut it down. I seriously doubt however, that "serious inquiries only" discourages many thrill seekers or pic hunters, but I understand their desire too. I would not consider that line as an indicator of "attitude"; attitude comes forth when you start talking about the meeting and your mutual likes and dislikes.

[VaHawk]

Hi Trixie,

 

You saving any of those hot young SF Latino street boys for me, or are you gonna just keep them all for yourself? You do know that sharing is a virtue that will help get you into Heaven? I am going to take you up on that offer of letting me buy you a cocktail on my next visit to SF, which fair warning, may be sooner than you expect.

 

I don't think that "serious inquiries only" really denotes anything more than a futile effort to cut down on the number of emails that an escort gets from people that are seeking nothing more than additional pics or who are playing out some kind of internet fantasy, which only delays, those such as you and me, who are inquiring because we are serious about getting with the escort. I don't, as you say, really see that phrase on a reputable escort site, but mostly in chat rooms. But since it doesn't do any good anyway, the escorts who use the phrase probably should just drop it, as it costs them potential clients such as yourself.

 

Seeking generous clients, is always a no go for me. I see this mostly on message board sites. I always take this as a red flag in the sense that I get the feeling that the guy is a hustler, out to rip the client off. There are way too many reputable, honest escorts out there to take a chance on these guys, and I would be willing to bet that they send out fake photos to entice the mark.

 

The age range thing is something I have seen very, very rarely on an escort web page, and mostly once again on the message board sites. But I would rather know this upfront than be surprised about it later upon meeting. At least I wouldn't have to waste my time contacting an escort who posted that message, and in reality only the escort can decide what segment of the market he is able to/desires to target. I think this is much more honest than those who market to all types, but when hired by a non desirous type of client is unable/unwilling to perform as agreed upon. I also believe the ones who specify such a young/narrow age range are not serious about escorting and are only doing it for a few quick bucks and/or thrills. But then again, I could never understand these age range things in personal ads - like you meet this fabulous, hot guy thru your ad, and GASP!! he's 29 not 28 and you're going to throw him in the trash like yesterday's newspaper!

 

But my all time favorite, totally useless phrase is my fee is for time only. Yeah, fools everyone doesn't it? Especially when the escort provides a link to those graphic sexually explicit reviews, that some here prefer.

[Trixie]

¡Worry not, my sweet raptor, there are mucho macho muchachos para todos! I hope you're not coming to "the Barbary Coast" too soon, as I will be leaving shortly for Moscow, and shall not return until late July. I would truly be disappointed in missing an opportunity to meet you.

 

La krasnaya Trixie

[VaHawk]

Muy bien, yo quiero los ninos Latinos! Ayudame mis Dios, estan muy caliente! I probably won't be back to SF until early fall, so we will get to meet, I hope, as I do believe you and I would get along real well. In the meantime, have a great time in Russia, which is one place I would love to go, especially St. Petersburg.

 

If at all possible, pretty, pretty please send me a Cossack via parcel post? No can do? Then a bottle of Stoli would suffice. Just kidding.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

"Doh"

 

>Forgive me Franco, but I am not part of the chat-room public,

>so I couldn't quite follow the whole of your response. I'm a

>gal who likes to make her arrangements ahead of time, and

>favors escort sites where one e-mails the escorts directly to

>set up a date.

 

Ah, sorry, I meant chat rooms. You are correct. I see no reason to put that in an on line advertisement. I was thinking of profiles in chat rooms such as AOL or Gay dot com, etc.

[chrismac]

Generally, lines like this tend to turn me off:

 

"When I walk, people watch..when i get up from a table...conversations stop eyes glance my way."

 

I don't know if there'd be enough space in the room for me AND his ego. When I see words like that, it translates to me: "I'm insecure, and need LOTS of attention."

 

I also agree that an escort looking for "generous" clients is a BIG warning sign, for the same reasons well stated here in previous posts.

[jackhammer91406]

A Male Box FULL

 

Ted,

Your point about the amount of mail that escorts receive is well taken. In fact, of the ecorts I have hired, there are several I have become friendly with, very fond of, and we have conversed by phone and email often. I am ALWAYS reluctant to call or email (even though they have indicated I should do so anytime) because I don't want to clog up one of their main sources for business. It may be stupid on my part because often I find I just want to check in with them and see how they are doing,(and they have encouraged me to do so), or sometimes I just need someone who knows me to give me some advice about some issue, but I always want to err on the side of caution because I don't want them to feel like my mail or call is just another "detail" they have to deal with. I might be missing out on deepening a friendship, but would rather do that than wear out a welcome.

 

 

[btmstudnyc]

Questions

 

Trixie, I too have always been bothered by those lines and more. I do have some questions for you and anyone else that might want to contribute. I have never done ads. I was going to test some out in the near future.

 

WHAT would catch your eye? Does having your face in the ad help? Torson shot? Full Body shot? If I can't have my face in the shot (discretion for me and clients,) what expressions or info would you like to see? That's for a hard copy ad. What would you like to see on the website? Is there such a thing as OVERKILL?

 

I've heard that if you actually put in "NO ATTITUDE'" is good...then someone just told me that it means your not so cute. What the hell?

 

I'm serious about these questions...What would make for a great ad for you?

 

JIM

[VaHawk]

RE: Questions

 

Well I can't answer for Trixie, but I promise, I'll keep my talons sheathed!

 

I don't personally hire via print ads, so a face shot is a moot point, but I would think that a tastefully done full frontal body shot in tight jeans or briefs with a bare torso would suffice for versatile/top or same in a dorsal pose for bottom would do.

 

I definitely would not hire without a face shot on an online site unless the other pics and the words intrigued me enough to make contact at which point the escort would provide a photo of his face.

 

"No attitude" is a winner with me, and if you had a face shot with the ad it would negate any doubts about you being cute. Other winners: "versatile", "friendly", "conversant" "great in public and private" and "focused on pleasing the client" (or something along those lines). BTW: I hate that phrase "I clean up real nice" like you're some filthy vagabond I have to soak in a tub for 2 hours before you're "presentable" enough to be seen in public with, and only if the "price is also nice" - real turnoff.

 

Unless you're going for the domination scene, abusive putdowns such as "cater to sex pigs", "available for worship scenes", "massive endowed, dominating top", etc. are probably a no go for clients not looking to play the submissive, dominated role.

 

Eyecatcher: "satisfaction guaranteed or session free!" Oh, dream on, huh?

[Guest]

RE: Questions

 

The more an ad shows, the more likely I am to hire. There are so many ads with face and body shots these days, that there is little reason to hire someone who doesn't show his face and body. Anything indicating the escort is friendly, affectionate, and attitude-free is also helpful.

[Trixie]

RE: Questions

 

Well Jim, since you've asked...

VaHawk and Unicorn offered some good suggestions.

I have my own unique tastes, so a phrase that would catch my eye would be "fetish friendly" (my fetish is tickling, which is apparently somewhat extraordinary). But you should mean it. A fetishist really appreciates an honest answer in his inquiries. If someone contacts you about a fetish, any fetish, your answer should be "I can do it!", "I'll do it, but that's not something I'm into." or "I can't do it, I'm sorry." Also, with fetish calls, expect to have to answer more than the usual questions, show patience, enthusiasm or vulnerability (whatever's called for)... because fetish clients want to know that they're not just being led around by the nose.

Now, regarding more obvious qualities of an ad...

Face shots are wonderful. They inspire confidence on he part of the client, and show you have nothing to hide. Body shots are also important, as they reveal the particulars of what a client's looking for; hairy or smooth, muscular or twink-thin, etc. Dick shots... I guess it's probably a good idea. Myself, I don't care... small are as pleasant as big. But not all feel that way... so show it if you want. Or offer to show it on a private e-mail. Coquettishness is very sexy!

In conclusion, be as honest and as straight forward as you can. Don't dwell on "no's", be open to suggestion. Be honest and talkative in your responses. It may take little more work, but I think you'll find it pays off.

Trix

[btmstudnyc]

RE: Questions

 

Trix, Uni and Hawk...

 

Great suggestions. I will definitely keep them all in mind. Trix, it's funny you mention the fetish things. I had a guy call me up who was into the tickle fantasy. I was very upfront on the phone and through emails. I told him I hadn't tried it and would definitely love to do it....then he said I would be the one tied up. I said that I was even open to that....except that I would want someone there to shaparone(sp)....since I have issues with being tied up by perfect strangers without some sort of backup plan. I am always willing to try things....and the other suggestion ...OR YOUR MONEY BACK. I actually do....after 15 min..if either one of us feels uncomfortable...Im all about bailing for no cash...Unless I travelled really far.

 

On the note about "serious only" I have to tell you about something that happened to me last night. This guy calls up and asks to come over. He said he wasn't interested in the massage. He wanted to suck my cock. So he comes over and we are halfway through and he says, "this is only my second time doing this." I said, "with an escort?" He said, "no, with a man....I'm not paying." I asked him how he found out about me to clarify things. He said, "through your website." I then asked him to leave. He wondered why. I told him that I didn't do this for free and everything is clear and he knew I was an escort. He said, "YOU mean you only do this for money?" "aren't you attracted to me?" I told him....yes I was attracted to him but that didn't change the rules of the game. So, what should I have done? Told him to pay and carry on? I asked him to leave and immediately thought of this post....SERIOUS ONLY...I wonder which is better...to not get a client that hates that expression....or to get one that wastes your time because he is hooking up.

 

Thanks again, If anyone has anymore suggestions, please add to this post.

 

JIM

[Trixie]

RE: Questions

 

Jim,

I'm very sorry that happened to you... it's an unpleasant story (but a trifle amusing too!).

We all have bad days at work I guess. However,

I don't think an admonition of "SERIOUS ONLY" on your ad would've filtered that guy out. "SANE ONLY" may be more appropriate, but probably wouldn't have worked either. Yours is a job with a lot of unknown factors. I can see why you'd want to screen people a tad before they contact you (Lord, how I wish I could hang a sign on the front door of where I work, reading "Pleasant and Sensible people only, please!").

But alas, the people you really want to avoid are the ones least likely to pay any heed to a sort

of request such as "S.O." If it registers with them at all, it's only going to be a faint blip somewhere in their peabrain stating "He couldn't possibly mean me!!"

Trix

[chrismac]

RE: Questions

 

I agree that the comment, "Serious Only" goes without saying and doesn't need to be written explicitly. The serious callers might be put off, interpreting the phrase as an indication of a negative attitude, and the non-serious guys won't pay attention to it anyway. Better to filter out the losers by other means of direct communication.

 

Another annoying (really annoying) feature to me is an escort who doesn't have a name, but goes by a title instead: "Truly Huge", "Excellent Top" are a couple of examples. At least make up a name. Something to call one by when addressing an email or making a phone call. I feel stupid addressing someone as, "Hello Mr. Huge, are you available tomorrow?"

 

Makes me feel like Ann Landers. x(

[duke37]

RE: Questions

 

>Makes me feel like Ann Landers. x(

 

It takes 20 lashes with a wet noodle to make me feel like Ann Landers.

:7

 

Jeff

[Guest DevonSFescort]

RE: Questions

 

>I feel stupid addressing someone as, "Hello Mr. Huge, are you >available tomorrow?"

 

I'm sure he'd be fine with you calling him Truly. Maybe even just True for short once you get to know him.