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Guest TFNH
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Guest TFNH

I'll say this right up front, so there is no confusion:

1. I think being an escort is as viable a choice as any other in life; I make no judgements.

2. I think hiring an escort is an equally viable choice.

3. I think the review service is an oustanding service that can help sift through the endless choices of available escorts out there.

 

But there the simplicity ends. When I first read reviews a few weeks ago(I did so because I decided this was the route I wanted to take right now for sexual activity), I was blown away by the number of Barbara Cartland-like epistles. Phrases about being with an escort likened to being with a lover, etc. etc. In the year 2001, do people still need to think these things in order to justify the experience? Escorts are not your lovers, and they are not your friends; they are businessmen in the business of delivering sex, clean and simple. The experience should be mutally respectful on a broad human level, but make no mistake, this is not a personal business or interaction. The best escorts are the ones who are really into sex, and I do not kid myself, it is not me they are into. I am not insulted by this because they do not know me. And it goes both ways; I am into having sex, and because I do not know the escorts that I am with(5 in the last 2 weeks) I am really not into them personally either, just the sexual experience.

 

I realize that there are a million reasons why the escorting business exists, from both sides, and that they are often complex psycho-sexual reasons. But at the end of the day, it is still a business about selling and buying sex -- not friendship, love, or deep human warmth.

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Guest Esc_Tracker

>I realize that there are a

>million reasons why the escorting

>business exists, from both sides,

>and that they are often

>complex psycho-sexual reasons. But

>at the end of the

>day, it is still a

>business about selling and buying

>sex -- not friendship, love,

>or deep human warmth.

 

This issue comes up again and again. Prepare to be surprised. Some clients *do* find "deep human warmth" and often "friendship". (I cannot speak about love from personal experience, but I don't see why it should not be possible.) These friendships continue beyond the point where the client and escort cease having sex for money or even cease having sex or financial transactions with each other of any kind.

 

While you are correct in that such relationships are not for sale, I wonder why you (and many others, it appears) feel so threatened by the possibility or feel there is some dangerous fraud at work here you have to warn your fellow clients about.

 

In addition, "friendship", "love" and "deep human warmth" are very powerful fantasies that *can* be for sale. Some escorts are very good at sustaining them, and in most cases this is what the reviews you are are so appalled at are trying to convey ("He made me feel like a lover rather than just a trick"). I don't see why catering to such fantasies is any more demeaning for either the escort or the client than domination, humiliation or incest "scenes". Yet no one (at least on this site) ever seems to complain about these.

 

If all you are interested is a quick fuck, that's fine too. But different clients have different needs and preferences. You should also accept that in some cases (as in any consensual human relationship) genuine "friendship", "deep human warmth" or even "love" can and do develop between a client and an escort, just as they can develop in an arranged marriage.

 

Esc-Tracker

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Guest LG320126

See the thread "Friends With Escorts" along with others prior to that - this has already been discussed a mulitude of times with a multitude of responses.

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If you hang out around here long enough you'll realize that there are literally hundreds of different reasons people hire escorts. No doubt most of those reasons will be different from yours and/or mine. That's life and lust in the 21st century. I think you'll soon figure out which guys have similar tastes to yours. Nonetheless, I think that you can learn something from everyone here. Even if it's, "damn I hope I never get THAT pathetic"....lol

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Guest DickHo

What? You did not enjoy the "I looked into his eyes and knew that sex would never be the same" over-the-top, poetic compositions we so dearly call reviews? Oh dear, I can hear them rushing to their soap boxes now...

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Guest Merlin

I good escort will make it seem that more than simply sex is involved. He will act as though he likes the client and will try to enjoy the experience himself or seem to enjoy it. Most guys who post and read reviews here are able to distinguish between the short term illusion of affection and the real thing. So when they say that they felt the escort was good friend etc, they are describing the illusion which the escort gave and which made the experience more enjoyable. They should not be understood as actually believing that something long term was involved.

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Interesting that your first post is so provocative. I wonder if you are someone who has actually been around here for a while but are using a different name for this post.

 

I've never seen a review that was "over the top" in terms of a client's fantasy about what was going on. (In other words, I've never seen a review in which the client seemed deluded into thinking he and the escort alone had some special, lover-like relationship.) I certainly only read a small percentage of the reviews and messages here, however, so perhaps I just haven't seen those postings that are like that.

 

I will counter some of your assertions, however. I have developed an ongoing relationship with an escort I found (on AOL, no less!) whom I have reviewed here favorably (as have others). Yes, I know he's only having sex with me and sleeping with me because I'm paying him. But that doesn't mean that that describes the totality of our interactions. Just recently when he was in my area, we hooked up for a late bite to eat. (I didn't hire him this time around because I had just seen him a few weeks prior to that and cannot afford to hire him more than once per month.) I wasn't hungry but did order a drink, for which he paid. On another previous trip (similar circumstances), he came over to my apartment and we chatted for about a half hour. So, yes, I think I have developed some level of friendship with him over the past several months.

 

If I were more cynical, I could attribute this to just "good marketing" on his part, and assume that he's just pretending to like me so I'll book him again. Not only do I think that he could not be that good of an actor (we've spent several overnights together and had many intimate conversations), that cynical interpretation doesn't make sense. He has plenty of other clients, I'm sure many more wealthy than me.

 

Now that I've typed this response, I'm having a "deja vu" moment. This seems very much like another thread from about one month ago. My response then was as it is now: I find it sad that someone can only experience an escort-client relationship from the $$$ aspect. There are many layers to it -- with those exceptionally good escorts, that is. And my bottom line is that if I felt that every escort was only interested in grabbing my money and leaving after performing as some sort of sex machine, I would no longer be interested.

 

I realize that my wants/needs/expectations are different than some other clients, who may really want a sex machine and nothing else! I'm not trying to say that that isn't a valid option for others. What I'm trying to say is that there is a range of experiences to be had, from quick encounters in a hustler bar or porn theater to what I would call "relationship escorting," for lack of a better term.

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You're correct, of course. The "Barbara Cartland" reviews are often not terribly informative and I also wonder how many of these reviewers turn into stalkers. However, after meeting a few escorts on a slightly more non-superficial way, I think your point of view might be a bit too limiting. In an earlier thread, I stated the following slightly alternate point of view:

"I certainly don’t view escorts as likely dating material and I realize that escorts (as clients) often are not entirely genuine in their statements and expressions. However, after getting to know an escort sexually, I often find myself interested in getting to know his personality better and in learning a little about what makes him tick – just as I do with any other person with whom I find common interest. Consequently, after the first appointment, I do like to take a repeater out to a nice dinner and to spend a little time with him if he wants. Am I naïve to think that some escorts might like the same thing?"

Joey Ciccone responded that he felt the same; that he liked to be treated as an individual (of non-sexual self-worth) and not just a commodity; and that he also considers it good business practice. Such an escort is now more interesting to me than just a beautiful body.

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Guest TFNH

Hmm, food for thought. But I am curious as to what I said that in any way was inferred as being either afraid or a warning. It was certainly nothing that I intended to imply. I see this forum is one for thought and an exchange of ideas, and I use it as such.

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Guest LG320126

>You should also accept that in some cases (as in any consensual human relationship) genuine "friendship", "deep human warmth" or even "love" can and do develop between a client and an escort, just as they can develop in an arranged marriage.<

 

 

Thank you Esc_Tracker. You have just described the relationship that I have had with an escort for going on 9 months now and I would not trade his friendship for all the sex in the world. He is coming to town to visit and stay with me in a couple of weeks and I know the few days we spend together will be great and I cannot wait.

 

P.S. He is coming on his own free will - I have not hired him nor do I ever hire him anymore. :)

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Guest Esc_Tracker

(embarrassed grin)

 

The problem here is that I was addressing a general type of post on this subject, not just yours in particular. You are right, there is nothing in your specific comments that would support those inferences. :-)

 

As others have mentioned, you slipped into the wake of an earlier discussion on this subject where these points were made explicitly. So I guess you got bludgeoned for the sins of your fellow skeptics. ;-)

 

Your thoughts are welcome on the list. I am sorry if I came on a bit rough. Let's hear more of your views.

 

Esc-Tracker

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Guest regulation

I believe Esc-Tracker is correct in saying that some of the more florid reviews that you see on this site are descriptions of the fantasy of intimacy and desire that the escort is being paid to create for the client.

 

On the other hand, there are some clients who confuse fantasy with reality and imagine that the feelings escorts feign for them are real. That is very rarely true and when clients indulge in this sort of "fan-worship" it can cause problems for both parties. Someone who pays for a performance should be satisfied with a good performance. When it's over he should go back to his real life and allow the performer to do the same.

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Guest Tampa Yankee

Haven't we been around this track, once, twice, thrice... not to mention within the last few weeks?

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Yes, Tampa, we have been around this track a few times. But, amazingly, each lap somehow manages to bring forth new insights.

 

Last time 'round, I was particularly struck by Bilbo's analogy of the escort as a movie actor. Someone who is paid to create a fantasy for his audience.

 

Pushing that one step further, how about thinking of the escort as a very talented musician. Depending on his skills, he can and often does create a profound emotional response in his listeners -- a response which can endure long after the concert is over.

 

Does the musician also enjoy the music he's playing? Does he participate in the emotional tension of the moment?

 

And, can the musician and listener establish a friendship outside of the concert hall?

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>at the end of the

>day, it is still a

>business about selling and buying

>sex -- not friendship, love,

>or deep human warmth.

 

Oh, I don't know about that. The escorts that I've been with have all been very nice guys whose company I very much enjoy. I have a certain amount of affection for them and I very much look forward to seeing them again. I'm also very much aware of the nature of my relationship with them. As I mentioned the last time that this came up ... answering an escort's ad is not the same as answering a personal. Escorts earn their living (especially the ones who do it full time) earn their living by spending their time with other guys. They have real lives outside of what they do for a living and they're not looking to make new friends. Can a true friendship develop? Absolutely! Those instances are rare, but it does happen. In the meantime, I treat my escorts the same that way that I would like to be treated and I take thinks one date and one e-mail at a time!

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Guest TFNH

Tracker - No need to explain, but I appreciate the response. I'm new to this place and probably should have read the archives a bit first. It will never cease to amaze me at the enormous gap that oftens exists between what is said or implied, and how it is inferred or received. While any perception is very real to the person perceiving it, it sometimes has little connection to the facts at hand. This is obviously because we all come to the table with our own personal histories which can color everything we see and hear, and sometimes in a rather ditorted way...and this is NOT to imply that I am directing this at you.

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Guest TFNH

When I initialy posted my message I obviously failed to clarify that I was not addressing a situation wherein a long term escort/client developed. The reveiws that I had read clearly stated that this was a 1st time experience with the escort, yet they also gave the impression that they were 15 seconds away from registering at Tiffany's, picking out music, and deciding whether white was really appropriate...and I say that with humor to make a point, not to be taken literally.

 

As for a long term situation, I fully understand and agree that something more can develop. I've been there -- sort of. About 8 years ago I met an escort on one of his nights off, we started dating, and after awhile he was living with me. During the transition from dating to living together he spent more time with me and less with clients, and before living together he gave up the business entirely -- not at my request. From his viewpoint the business simply became less satisfying as a personal one became more so.

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Guest alanm

Yes, this subject has been discussed too often on this site. But,

I seem to get something out of each discussion. A case in point is Riccardo's reviews in S.F. I am going to visit S.F. next month and have read all his reviews. I have no sense that Riccardo is writing the reviews himself, yet every review is so

uniformly positive that I am having trouble figuring out what kind of a person Riccardo really is. Four or five months ago,

people gave more well rounded reviews: Riccardo's reviews are total raves. Doesn't he have any faults? Also, I usually learn much more from an escort's response to a negative review than the review itself. Riccardo's reviews are typical of the ones on

this site over the last several months. If escorts are ecouraging their most satisfied customers to send in reviews then

this site has lost much of its value.

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Escorts are not machines into which one pops a coin and out comes a sex experience. I'm sure many good escorts do become emotionally involved even in first time appointments with clients, because they need to make that connection in order not only to function effectively but also to feel good about what they are doing. A successful escort isn't just acting--he really likes people and enjoys making them feel happy.

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Guest curtenz

I'd have to agree with alanm. There seem to be a bunch of fan types here who yell at anyone who says anything negative about escorts. Between them and the growing number of fake reviews posted by escorts and reviews posted at their urging, this site isn't quite what it was.

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While I don't think I agree that this site is "not what it once was," a possible current in this stream occurs to me. Many people are choosing their escorts based on what they read on this site. And, I assume, there are many people for whom the volume of good reviews is a come-on. People love to back a winner and to experience the champion. And the site always was to help clients avoid bad experiences. So, if the bad experiences are avoided, they are not there to be written about. (I remember a thread not too long ago where some people made a bit of fun of a person who had had a bad experience when he hired an escort who had had several telling bad reviews.) If we assume that there are escorts starting into the business every week, and if it can be shown that the number of reviews of new escorts is going down (This is only a postulation without proof. I have no idea if it is correct.), that would also go to show ya, that perhaps this site is "not what it was" because, oddly enough, it might be a bit too effective for its own good?

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Guest TommyBoy

I've hired escorts a few times in the past year, and what I've discovered is that I enjoy the actual companionship as much as or more than the sex. It is kind of like being on a date when you know you will "get lucky." I really do prefer to spend some time hanging out with the guy before moving into the sack.

 

I am blessed with plenty of friends, so I'm not hiring someone to talk to, I guess I just find the experience more enjoyable when the exchange consists of more than sex.

 

To that end, when I hire a guy the only deal breaker is that he be smart and/or funny--that's a huge turn on for me--much more so than the "hottest" guy without these attributes.

 

One last thing: Riccardo in San Francisco IS kind of a dream date--not completely sure why. But the evening I spent with him was incredibly satisfying in every way. He gave me the impression of being genuine on every level.

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Guest alanm

I talked in my earlier posting about learning nothing about Riccardo from San Francisco because he gets nothing but rave reviews. At least, Riccardo is seldon mentioned on the forum.

When the rave reviews start to spill over into the forum (prime example: Rick Munroe), it is really frustrating. There was a time

when you could select an escort with 7 or so reviews and be sure

the the reviews gave you a very good picture of the positives and negatives of the escort. In my case, I had been seeing an escort for a long time (and still am) when I discovered this site. I checked out his reviews and was surprised at how accurate

they were, including the 1 negative review and some of side comments in the other reviews. By the way, I mean no offensive to Riccardo and Rick Munroe, these comments are directed at

some of their overly zealous fans.

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