A Bald Goldilocks Is Going Out To Dinner

[+ Gar1eth]

Over the years I've been in sporadic contact with Galahad (an alias). As I recall I first saw him on Growlr-might have been Scruff-but more likely Growlr about 13 years ago. I know when because it was during the last time I lived in the Dallas area from 2011 to 2012. He was a bearish type guy-brownish/blond hair with a brownish/blond beard. Galahad was in a relationship, but I think they were open. We met once or twice in person. I was attracted to him, but conversation was definitely not easy. And nothing ever came of it.
 

After I moved back to Washington state, I'd see him online occasionally, and we'd occasionally text. But those instances were few and far between. Since I've been back here starting in 2018-same thing. He seems to go offline for long periods of time. But we started talking the other day. I mentioned getting something to eat. He seemed interested in getting together, but I don't know if he's actually  'interested' in me. For one thing in the intervening years, I've gained a lot more avoirdupois.

 

Last week he mentioned that a bear group has a regular dinner meeting and gave me the info. So I'm going. But I don't really have good luck with these things. For one thing-while crowds don't really intimidate me-I don't usually do well breaking into a new group on my own without friends already there. And yes I know Galahad but only vaguely.
 

I tried an older gay meet-up in Seattle once around 2010. It was a new group starting up.  I was the second youngest there. As I recall one guy slept thru the whole meeting. Another guy wasn't sure he was going to like the internet -was cautiously going to try dial-up ( and even in 2010 this was reasonably old-fashioned). Also out of the 7 or so there -most of them seemed to have been married previously. I was most likely the only one who had been a total virgin until age 41 and had to be taught how to kiss by the escort who provided my 1st experience. Aside from age and being gay,  I didn't seem to have much in common with them. On top of that Seattle was 35 miles away. So I never went back. A penpal of mine said I should. But I gave him the same reasons I'm giving y'all now. 
 

After that I tried the Bear Movie Group -again in Seattle 35 miles away. So that group all of them seemed to know each other beforehand even if only slightly. I was the only unknown. The first movie night was ok-afterwards we went to a 5 Guys to eat and talk. That was nice.  But I wasn't always able to go due to work. And it turned out that the only time we went somewhere to talk/eat was that first time. After about 4 times, I stopped going. I figured what was the use. If we never got together to shoot the breeze  after a movie, I was never really going to get to know them. As it was I was probably one of the oldest if not the oldest.

 

So again not much in common. The first group I was too young and had been too closeted for most of my life to have much in common with those guys. With the movie group I was too old-but again without a lot of experience, and there was no real chance to get to know them as we all left after the movie was over. 

Tonight  (Wednesday) I was out to eat with family. One of my nieces graduated pre-K today and her grandmother was in town for the event. So I'm sitting next to my Mom. And I mention quietly that I'm going out to dinner again  on Thursday.  My Mom asks with whom. I told  her it was with a  group of 'like-minded' people. To her credit she knew immediately what I was talking about. I doubt she knows the term 'bears-and I wasn't going to get into a discussion of gay stereotypes.

 

She seemed glad. She would like me to socialize more. But I've never really had a boyfriend.  Even though she'd like me to socialize more, I always wonder how she'd react to me being in an actual relationship-or the rest of the family too for that matter.  But it most likely won't happen.  Still I do wonder.

In conclusion I'm still not sure how I feel about going due to my past experiences. Maybe it will be just right. But we'll see. 

Edited May 15 by Gar1eth

[Nightowl]

You don’t seem to be asking for advice so I won’t give you any, just wish you good luck and relay my hope that maybe things will be different this time.

[+ PhileasFogg]

Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince.

keep the search going.  You have nothing to lose in the search 

Edited May 15 by PhileasFogg

[samhexum]

Good luck and have fun.

[topunderachiever]

You either believe an old dog can learn new tricks or you don't.  

[+ Gar1eth]

52 minutes ago, topunderachiever said:

You either believe an old dog can learn new tricks or you don't.  

Most likely not. But hope does spring eternal. 
 

 

[+ nycman]

12 hours ago, Gar1eth said:

Maybe it will be just right. But we'll see.

You’ll never know, unless you try.

Best of luck. I feel your pain.

Now, go out there and swing for the fences tiger!

[+ Gar1eth]

It went ok. Nothing special. I probably talked too much. I don't think I said anything too long embarrassing. At least I tried.  I'm supposed to get an invite for next week. We'll see. No one is be interested in for a date I think even if they were available-hard to find out that level of detail in a group of 7 at a noisy restaurant. Plus while I am one, I'm not that attracted to bears-or at least overweight bears.  

My problems -are many-but I can't really talk about my previous career because 12 years later it still pains me. I had a job recently that I lost-so difficult to talk about that. I've got a lot of medical problems at the moment. And my main hobby is reading-haven't had the money to do anything for for a long time while these guys are talking about going to New Orleans or flying to California. 
 

Oh wait-I just read that.  I'm a gem. They would be chomping at the bits to make me a new friend of their group. 
 

But again if I get an invite for next week we'll see. 

[+ Gar1eth]

Update-it must have gone worse than I thought. I gave one guy my Facebook info, and we friended each other. I thought he said that they alternated days-and this week they were meeting on Tuesday. 
 

Haven't heard a word. On the other hand even if I had the information, I wouldn't have been able to go this week. I was admitted yesterday to the hospital for what they think is pancreatitis. And just for the info, not that y'all would be thinking this, but I don't drink a lot, nor do I binge drink. 
 

I woke up about 4 AM Monday and started vomiting. Eventually when the nausea and vomiting didn't stop, I called 911 about 10 AM. I'm feeling much better today though. I'm on a full liquid diet with no pain other than my throat hurting-unless it's due to the vomiting, I have no idea what that's about. Thank gosh they stopped using my hand IV-it infiltrated (my poor fingers looked like sausages, but they're better now) and started using my port -for non medical people that's a semi or permanent IV under the skin used for people who get routine IV meds like cancer patients. I have it because of my myasthenia gravis-for which I receive monthly gamma globulin. 
 

Well I told y'all I was dreck at large gatherings. If I hear anything from them, I'll let y'all know.