Providers Hitting You Up for Money

[DunwoodyGuy]

10 hours ago, SirBillybob said:

The following few hundred sexual encounters with him were terrific. 

Few HUNDRED?!?

[marylander1940]

On 1/26/2025 at 8:21 PM, 123guy321 said:

I've had multiple providers hit me up for money over the years. They get in a bind in their personal life and ask for help. It's very off-putting.

I believe they target clients who are overly nice. (I'm also on the spectrum, so that could be another reason.)

They should save money for a "rainy day" like most people usually do!

[Boaxxx]

This is such an easy question to answer: No, never, ain't gonna happen.

Even for those providers I have seen several times I will not be "lending" money to help them out with their personal finances. Some may think this is cruel, harsh, not nice but I find it hard to believe that the provider has no friends, solid acquaintance, family members, etc. to ask for money/assistance before asking me.  

I would respond to the provider and then block him (letting him know that I will be blocking him and why).

[Occasional]

3 hours ago, Boaxxx said:

This is such an easy question to answer: No, never, ain't gonna happen.

Even for those providers I have seen several times I will not be "lending" money to help them out with their personal finances. Some may think this is cruel, harsh, not nice but I find it hard to believe that the provider has no friends, solid acquaintance, family members, etc. to ask for money/assistance before asking me. 

Doesn't matter whether or not the provider has friends etc.  Being hit up for money by a provider is the inverse of a client seeing the client-provider relationship as something other than what it actually is (as has been discussed quite a lot recently on this board - 'falling for' provider, hoping for 'off the clock' with provider etc). 

The client-provider relationship is a mutully agreed, bounded transaction. That cuts both ways. And keep it that way.

Edited January 28 by Occasional
Split a paragaph for clarity

[+ Pensant]

One of my hottest regulars once asked for an advance and I didn’t respond; whereupon he immediately apologized. When I was his age I too was often broke and asked a rich uncle for a loan, which was politely declined. In neither case was my relationship in any way impaired. I did give this provider an advance recently after a two-hour session which was originally slated to be an overnight. I knew he was counting on the honorarium so I gave him the money as an advance on a subsequent meeting, which worked out perfectly.

 

[jmichaeliii]

9 minutes ago, Pensant said:

One of my hottest regulars once asked for an advance and I didn’t respond; whereupon he immediately apologized. When I was his age I too was often broke and asked a rich uncle for a loan, which was politely declined. In neither case was my relationship in any way impaired. I did give this provider an advance recently after a two-hour session which was originally slated to be an overnight. I knew he was counting on the honorarium so I gave him the money as an advance on a subsequent meeting, which worked out perfectly.

 

I got an apology from mine also for even asking.  There were several factors I considered when I lent him the money.  One, every session he goes above and beyond, second he travels an hour and a half everytime we meet (its been almost 2 years since we first met and he was my first ever hire) and finally he is just a nice person... not an ounce of ego even though he is smoking hot.  Not for a minute did I believe he would not be good for it, and if I was wrong then a hard lesson learned.  He is still my number one guy.

[LaffingBear]

It's only happened once for me.  And it was at the conclusion of my weirdest ever encounter; I believe I've posted about it previously.   The money request elements include

A provider telling me he's waiving his fee, because I remind him of his high school crush.  Me spending the cash on something else while with him.  Hours later, provider asking if he could borrow some money as I was driving him home - while on my way to the airport for my flight.  The provider then concerned what I thought of him, crying, a rushed search for an ATM, and the provider bolting from my car while it was still moving.  

[Boaxxx]

And as Judge Judy always says - If you are going to give money to someone who is asking for it consider it a gift because very often it is not paid back. If you don't consider it a gift then don't hand it over.

[Guest]

19 hours ago, Boaxxx said:

And as Judge Judy always says - If you are going to give money to someone who is asking for it consider it a gift because very often it is not paid back. If you don't consider it a gift then don't hand it over.

Learned that lesson in my personal life a looooong time ago.

[Your Man in Arlington]

I once had a guy ask me for money AFTER I had seen him once, in order to help with a difficult situation (which may or may not have been fabricated) and suggesting it could be used as credit for a future gift. I didn't live in his city, and just told him I wasn't able to help him out in that way. He replied gracefully and I never heard from him again.

[kniff]

One of my regular providers asked for some extra help during covid and I sent him some $$. He has gotten mixed reviews here over the years. He asked for help a second time and because my sessions with him are great fun and he is accommodating to all my requests, I helped him out a second time. A month after our last encounter he asked me to pay for his Rentmen Ad. At that point, despite my excellent experiences with him, I blocked him. 

 

[Ali Gator]

My situations were a little different (I think I posted about one here a month or so ago)...

The last two weeks of December,  I was interested in some 'holiday fun' (I saved money by skipping parties and get togethers I really wasn't in the mood for this year)  and contacted a few visiting providers whom I had met with in the past year or so (and enjoyed them). Unfortunately, the five or six I tried to meet up with didn't work out for a variety of reasons those two weeks (I didn't meet up with anyone and saved more money).  So I ended each text conversation with 'Have a great holiday - looking forward to seeing you in 2025'.  I couldn't believe it when a few responded back letting me know their Venmo 'accepted Christmas gifts'.  WOW! Talk about balls. 

So I responded ... and let them know, 'My Venmo does, too !' 

And that was that. 

[hungry4darkmeat]

I appreciate this thread so much. I’m extremely nice and I consider myself very fortunate and remember how difficult life was when I was younger and was just trying to make it through the day without a catastrophe.

Because of this I have sent deposits to some providers and have almost always ended up being disappointed and left hanging. That said I have had a few who I actually know who not only made good but also made it a point to give me the best possible service and even a freebie for looking out when they needed it.

of course I’ve also encountered many a scammer/ trap artist and I have learned how to recognize them and block immediately. Some are really quite genius especially the ones in jail or in Africa.

 The way I look at it, if I make a gesture of kindness and it costs me a few dollars I am grateful to be able to do it. The karma comes back around and I can afford to give away what to me is negligible but to them could be the difference between paying rent or getting meds. I’m can’t be mad if I volunteered for it but I have a policy now that you can get a small advance if we have connected multiple times and if that’s the last I see of you then toodles and on to the next 

[BrickBuilder]

These requests have typically only happened to me during initial communications.  

The scenario would be that I do the initial reach out to make contact with a new provider to understand rates/services/etc.  When they would finally reply (which cold be immediately or several days later)  it quickly devolved to a "when when when" request to meet and then "I need money for car/phone/hotel - send it NOW otherwise I can't/won't meet and need to move on".  

Needless to say I was typically the one the decided to block and move on.  

I have been lucky in that regulars have not approached me between sessions for any cash.

I once had a stripper at the local club continue to mention to me that he needed a new car and a Jeep would be great as his new mode of transportation...but that is a story for a different time.

[JPHL]

Seems the thought on this is very clear, but I did just need to add further support behind it. Please, just don't. It will start small and get worse and worse. And eventually when you've had enough and realize it finally needs to stop, there will be angry text messages, phone calls, threats of blackmail/extortion. 

And to be clear, I'm not talking about payments for Ubers, hotels, etc. which I do believe should be provided if asked, but the "Any way you can help me out.  * insert sob story about banking issue or something else that is absolutely never their fault. *  I'm really in a jam and will * insert BS promise to rectify in some way, often with no intention of doing so. * "

You are the exact type of person they are looking to take advantage of. Best option is to stay away! 

Edited February 2 by JPHL
clarify specifics

[Ali Gator]

Like I did at Christmas time (see above), maybe more clients should turn the table on a few providers when they are approached by the guys to 'borrow money'. 

If they should hit you up for 'a loan' , simply respond to them with:

'Hey, I'm glad you reached out to me today, as you've been on my mind. I need a new tire on my car and I'm pressed for cash right now. Can you Venmo me $300 so I can get the new tire ? I promise I will pay you back at our next appointment.' 

See how far you get. It should at least end any future attempts to hit you up for cash.