masseur ignores me?

[spiffyfy]

I got an amazing massage from someone at masseurfinder. I paid the base rate and 20% tip. I texted afterwards to ask to schedule another session but it's been 3 days without an answer. I don't know what I did wrong, or just he not find me attractive or something? Do masseurs typically deny based on looks?

[BigNoiseDallas]

26 minutes ago, spiffyfy said:

I got an amazing massage from someone at masseurfinder. I paid the base rate and 20% tip. I texted afterwards to ask to schedule another session but it's been 3 days without an answer. I don't know what I did wrong, or just he not find me attractive or something? Do masseurs typically deny based on looks?

Can you see if the text was delivered or read? Did everything seem to go well during the session -- i.e., both parties agreed on what type of massage it would be and it seemed to fit the parameters, neither of you got "handsy" or more with the other when a therapeutic session was agreed. Is it possible that he went out of town or is traveling or on vacation? There are numerous other scenarios I can think of.

I would wait another day or two. If he doesn't respond, I would move on to another provider (hopefully you have a good selection where you live). I've had masseurs ghost me with no explanation even after I had been a long-time client and had multiple sessions with them. 

[pubic_assistance]

43 minutes ago, spiffyfy said:

Do masseurs typically deny based on looks?

Typically ...no. Sometimes, yes. You cant really assume why communication struggles in ANY relationship of any kind. There are a multitude of reasons why people take forever to get back to you.

[harlow]

42 minutes ago, spiffyfy said:

I got an amazing massage from someone at masseurfinder. I paid the base rate and 20% tip. I texted afterwards to ask to schedule another session but it's been 3 days without an answer. I don't know what I did wrong, or just he not find me attractive or something? Do masseurs typically deny based on looks?

It could be something as simple as him turning off the “work” phone to take a break, especially during the holidays, or it could be that he doesn’t want to meet anymore. In either case just be prepared to move on. Speaking from experience it’s never good to dwell on the fact they you might’ve been ghosted by a provider. 

[Guest]

It's easy to miss texts these days... we all get so many.  That said, I think it's good to spread out sessions, both for you and the provider.   In my opinion, take a break and text him again about a month.  

[spiffyfy]

Thanks guys, that makes me feel better to know I'm not alone in this experience. Not going to lie, it was dragging me down the whole week. I think I can relax now.

[BigNoiseDallas]

33 minutes ago, spiffyfy said:

Thanks guys, that makes me feel better to know I'm not alone in this experience. Not going to lie, it was dragging me down the whole week. I think I can relax now.

I never try to book someone again immediately after a massage -- schedules change, things come up, etc. I reach out a few days, maybe a week ahead of time, especially if I know they're popular or if they're traveling through Dallas and might be in demand because they're new blood.

[EastbayMike]

Just move on and find one that doesn't ignore you. 

[starman05]

Been there 

 

it sucks but it’s best to move on

[Kody S]

This happens a lot and it’s not your fault and most likely nothing you did.  Some masseurs have other jobs and aren’t all that good at communication.  Sometimes they have to balance their schedules and don’t know when they might see you again.  It’s a bummer but sometimes that’s just the way it is.  Some are excellent at communication and others just aren’t the best business folk even if they are otherwise great at that they do. 

[TonyDown]

If you only texted once, then IMO it's reasonable to follow up a day or so later.  At that point if no response then the ball remains in his court.  I would move on and not worry about it.

[Moke]

I think it’s fine to politely ask again a few months down the road. As long as it’s a simple appointment request that doesn’t come across and nagging or harassing. . I was once ghosted by a masseur I had had several nice sessions with. I was pretty sad and then reached out again like 6 months later and we picked right back up. I never asked why he ghosted me bc I didn’t want to jinx things. And it’s been great since. He is still smoking hot 

[d.anders]

On 12/5/2024 at 11:20 AM, spiffyfy said:

it's been 3 days without an answer. I don't know what I did wrong

Impatience? Overly needy?

On 12/5/2024 at 11:20 AM, spiffyfy said:

or just he not find me attractive or something? Do masseurs typically deny based on looks?

What do you look like? What is your perception of your looks? They could be two different things. How does anyone define attractive? How insecure are you? The last thing I think about when I get on someone's table is whether or not he will find me attractive. I worry more about finding the masseur attractive, and more importantly, finding talent.

No one has ever called me ugly, or worse, grotesque. I'm certainly not the hottie of my youth, but I assume because of my old age, no man in his 30's is going to have the hots for me. So why think about such things? I really dislike delusion.

I'm on the table for a service. If it works out, great. If not, I move on. Sometimes the worst thing you can do is fawn too much. Fawning tends to be interpreted as desperate. Many good looking guys are seriously turned off by desperate. Social skills, they matter.

[soloyo215]

On 12/5/2024 at 11:20 AM, spiffyfy said:

I don't know what I did wrong, or just he not find me attractive or something?

You might have not done anything wrong. You never know the reasons for it, even when they give you one.

On 12/5/2024 at 11:20 AM, spiffyfy said:

 Do masseurs typically deny based on looks?

I have been denied services for not wanting to send a picture of me. In that respect, yes. Also, keep in mind that the massage industry is getting more and more cluttered with bad and unprofessional masseurs looking for easy money. That means that now we have to navigate for good professional masseurs who have a clue of what they are doing.

I also recommend to give it one or two more days, and move on. I wouldn't dwell in wanting to know why he didn't respond, nor in looking into my own behavior to explain it.