Body language/signals useful in public settings

[SometimesBi]

Ok, before I get to the actual topic, let me preface with a personal story from many, many years ago...

* * *

I'm in my mid 20s, and in Las Vegas for a computer-related convention. I'm still a virgin, and only just barely just exploring sexual interests. I don't travel much, and find all the restaurant food on a trip (so different from my routine meals when at home) tends to give me a bloated feeling, even when hungry. 

Such was the case this one morning. I'm eating breakfast at a fast food place in one of the casinos. I had a bit of a cramp, so I reached down to massage the area a bit, right at the belt line, to relieve the discomfort. Feeling better, I continued breakfast. 

What I didn't know, was someone else saw this. But as I was almost finished, I happened to glance across the floor to an older guy also eating. As my gaze met his, he put his hands on the bench to lift his butt off the seat, and did a couple pelvic thrusts. 

Being so young, and unsure about gayness in general, this freaked me out! I looked away, quickly finished my last two bites of food, and left in a hurry. I had to get away from this "creepy old guy". (Note that as I look back on this incident today, I would more accurately describe him as a "hot daddy". Oh, what might have been, if I hadn't been afraid, but brave enough to hang around to meet him.)

* * *

So that brings me to today's topic. Clearly my adjusting a cramp was a body signal. And his pelvic thrusts were obviously so. But neither might be good in a discreet public setting today.

Are there some good DISCREET signals that you might use in a public setting? I used to ride a lot of public transportation, and the easiest signal could be just keeping a hand in your lap, with the slightest touch/rub in the groin area when the one "hottie" looks your way.

But are there other signals? I'm talking about truly random, everyday public settings, like riding a bus, shopping, a restaurant, etc, where you would NOT expect to make any connections. (So, not at a bar, not at the park, not at the beach, etc.)

Have you successfully signaled to another guy -- in a random public setting -- that led to at least chatting?

Have you seen a signal that led you to eventually say "Hello"? 

[marylander1940]

Can we just refer to this as accidental cruising?

I'm sure it still happens but nowadays (young) people even walking on the street have their faces on their phones.

[+ ApexNomad]

In public settings, I’ve found that small gestures—a smile, a brief glance, or even a casual question—can create an atmosphere of openness and signal interest without being overt.

Years ago, I was at a Starbucks after a long stretch at the office. I needed a change of scenery, so I grabbed a coffee and settled into a corner seat.

As I sipped my coffee, I noticed a handsome guy a couple of tables over. He was dressed like he’d just come from work too, with his sleeves rolled up, looking focused on his laptop. Every so often, he’d glance my way, and we’d catch each other’s eye for a brief moment. At first, I thought it was just my imagination, but the glances kept coming.

In that moment, I decided to take a chance and give him a small smile. It was subtle, but just enough. To my surprise, he smiled back, and I could see a hint of intrigue in his expression.

As I stood up to throw away my cup near him, he looked over and said, “Office escape?” I replied, “Yeah, but office calls. Take care.” (Like a fucking moron!) Then, with a playful grin, he shot back, “Well, if you ever want to escape again, here’s my number. I make a mean coffee and better company.” He handed me his card.

That line caught me off guard, and I just laughed. (Again, like a fucking moron!) I was impressed and completely turned on by his confidence. I took his number, and that simple exchange sparked a two-year relationship.

[+ purplekow]

Fear of rejection it seems to me is the one stumbling block to having a lot more encounters such as the one in the above post.  A smile, an innocent remark.  Back in the day, i can remember casually rubbing my beer bottle on the ass of the guy standing next to me.  If he did not jump away, I would do it again.  If he did move away I moved on.  If he wanted an explanation, I simply apologized.  I can recall several of these encounters leading to other activity.  This was done in straight bars.    

Not very subtle, but subtle does not often get you laid.  

   

Edited November 2, 2024 by purplekow