Thank you note

[Stormy]

I enjoy giving gifts and I really spend a lot of time and effort on choosing the right gift for a couple at their wedding.   But I’ve noticed a new phenomenon among younger people.  I don’t get a nice handwritten thank you note for the gift.  
 

At the risk of sounding like my Mother, it makes me feel like my effort is just not appreciated.  Why is it so difficult to buy cards and send a simple thank you note?  

[+ nycman]

It’s tricky. I always try to give with an open hand, but a simple "thank you" card goes a long way towards insuring that same generosity is there the next time an "unexpected need" arises. And it always does arise eventually. 

To me the worst is finding out that your generosity to help a relative "pay the rent" was instead used to fund a vacation in Florida because "it’s been a really stressful time for us and we felt like we deserved it" (no joke). 

Edited November 25, 2023 by nycman
It/It’s… do you know grammar crap

[samhexum]

20 hours ago, Stormy said:

I enjoy giving gifts and I really spend a lot of time and effort on choosing the right gift for a couple at their wedding.   But I’ve noticed a new phenomenon among younger people.  I don’t get a nice handwritten thank you note for the gift.  
 

At the risk of sounding like my Mother, it makes me feel like my effort is just not appreciated.  Why is it so difficult to buy cards and send a simple thank you note?  

At the risk of sounding like your Mother... you never call, you never write, you never send wildly extravagant gifts...

[MscleLovr]

20 hours ago, Stormy said:

I’ve noticed a new phenomenon among younger people.  I don’t get a nice handwritten thank you note for the gift.  

Respectfully @Stormy it’s been that way for at least 20 years (in my direct experience). 

I recall being asked in 2000 at a large dinner* in NYC (with about 20 people in their late 20s and 4 in their 30s) if I sent “thank you” notes. Having replied Always, I was then interrogated about when and how. I explained that I sent a hand-written note or letter (never a bought card) the day after I received a gift or the day I returned from a stay as someone’s house guest. 

Interestingly, I found from my much-younger partner (well brought-up, highly educated 30) that he too had this behaviour drummed into him as a child. 

*just an aside, but I picked up the bill for dinner…and No, I did not receive any ‘thank you’ notes but 2 people did call me the next day to express gratitude. 

40 minutes ago, nycman said:

the worst is finding out that your generosity to help a relative "pay the rent" was instead used to fund a vacation in Florida

Utterly the worst behavior. If any relative of mine did that, it would be the last time I gave them money. And Yes, something similar happened with a nephew. 

[CuriousByNature]

I like the idea of a handwritten note, but I know it would sit on my counter for weeks waiting to be mailed.  So I use email most of the time.

[Ali Gator]

I've learned over the past 20 - 30 years that manners and social etiquette are foreign concepts to most younger generations. 

[dcguy20]

Writing thank-you notes was instilled in me by my mom when I was younger. One of my former bosses complimented me on the thank-you note I wrote to her on a gift she had given me. 

[KrisParr]

In the past year or two, I have sent 4 graduation cards with gift card$ enclosed, and 3 wedding congrat$ to nieces, nephews and close family friends. And the number of acknowledgments? ZZzzzzzero. My parents drilled “thank you” notes/calls into me more firmly than anything I can recall. Sigh.

 

[MscleLovr]

On 11/28/2023 at 1:06 AM, KrisParr said:

have sent 4 graduation cards with gift card$…3 wedding congrat$ to nieces, nephews and close family friends.…the number of acknowledgments? ZZzzzzzero.

That’s disgraceful @KrisParr I’d ‘teach them some manners’ by not sending any of those people anything further.

If anyone asks why you didn’t respond to a request or acknowledge a birthday/event, I’d say “I mailed it to you. Didn’t you get it?” and I might add “Maybe there’s something wrong with the Mail service locally? Come to think of it, I never received a ‘thank you’ from you after graduation/wedding”