Most embarrassing moment escorting?

[Guest TorontoJared]

Since April Fools is rapidly approaching and that is the holiday dedicated to playing practical jokes I thought that this would be an appropriate question:

 

What is the most embarrassing thing that has either happened to you during an appointment or due to your escorting career (or for clients, related to hiring a guy)? I thought that this would be a fun one and would get some great laughs!

 

Mine was earlier this year at university. Earlier that day I had seen a client at his place and he really enjoys playing in me with toys. He said that he wanted me to keep the vibrator that he had used on me as a gift so that when I played with it myself I would be reminded of our fun time together. I thanked him, we showered (and washed the vibrator) and I headed off to grab a bite to eat and then to my evening Spanish course. I arrived and grabbed a seat in the middle of the class and started to get out my stuff. My textbook was stuck and so I pulled hard and guess what it had been stuck on? Yes!! The 8" lavender vibrator! It came flying out! I tried to grab it in midair (hoping not to attract the other half of the class' attention that was facing towards the front of the class, tripped over the guy's bag who was sitting next to me, started to fall, grabbed a chair in front of me, it fell with a crash along with me and the dildo landed a few inches away from my outstretched hand in the aisle where the professor was beginning to walk down towards her desk. Of course, because of the sound of the chair and me falling the rest of the class had turned around and were staring at the sight before them. The professor let out a yelp of surprise at me and the purple vibrator. I grabbed it, stuffed it in my bag and sat down while turning (what I was told later was) a lovely shade of scarlet. The class was silent except for a few giggles. It was the most embarrassing thing (especially since I still have had that class for the rest of the term now). It has been made into an instant urban legend (It was told to one of my friends a few months later at a school in Buffalo.). Of course my friends howled from laughter when I told them what had happened and still kid me about it all the time.

 

Anyway, share your embarrassing stories! Let's all have a laugh over them!

[Rick Munroe]

I once agreed to do a "kink" scene where I would be blindfolded and wait on all fours for the client to walk in and just start rimming me. Well, it was going great and I was moaning like crazy, until I decided to sneak a peek into the mirror, saw a cloud of bluish hair and a very familiar pink and yellow striped house dress and realized it was my grandmother. I, of course, had to end the session right there but we had a good laugh over it and she did tip me well. :+

[+ purplekow]

>I once agreed to do a "kink" scene where I would be

>blindfolded and wait on all fours for the client to walk in

>and just start rimming me. Well, it was going great and I was

>moaning like crazy, until I decided to sneak a peek into the

>mirror, saw a cloud of bluish hair and a very familiar pink

>and yellow striped house dress and realized it was my

>grandmother. I, of course, had to end the session right there

>but we had a good laugh over it and she did tip me well. :+

 

Two problems with this story. One, your grandmother is not a very good tipper and two Once you are moaning you would never stop someone from continuing. My guess, Derek in drag as Dereka Ross and the Supremely talented tongue.

[Guest zipperzone]

> Since April Fools is rapidly approaching and that is the

>holiday dedicated to playing practical jokes I thought that

>this would be an appropriate question:

>

> What is the most embarrassing thing that has either

>happened to you during an appointment or due to your escorting

>career (

 

Maybe I'm missing something here but I don't see the connection between April Fools Day and your "most embarrassing moment"

[SAdler]

>Maybe I'm missing something here but I don't see the

>connection between April Fools Day and your "most embarrassing

>moment"

 

April Fools Day = Practical Jokes

Practical Jokes = Embarrassment

if a = b, and b = c then a = c

 

April Fools Day = Embarrassment.

 

Not even gonna use the letters

[MindThe Gap]

>Maybe I'm missing something here but I don't see the

>connection between April Fools Day and your "most embarrassing

>moment"

 

I don't get it either, ZZ. I'm even more perplexed with Scott's mathematical theory above which provides for no true mathematical equational conclusion or solution. But it was nonetheless good of Scott to chime in.

 

Here's what I think. Unless this guy busts down your door when you might be unfortunately found to in bed with Rockhard...There is no connection. :7

 

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/chgo/punkd-patima78.jpg

[Vincent_Michael]

I have had two embarrassing moments in total but it was more shocking than anything...One I had a client freak on me because I bought him something and that actully kinda scared me and it left me thinking should I go home now? I also had someone write me a check and I just held my breath and acted as if everything was fine...Yes the check did clear my account.

[SAdler]

New city, new people ... I kinda indirectly accused a client of borrowing something from my bathroom because I knew EXACTLY where I put it and it was there when I left to meet the client and it wasn't there when I got home.

 

We were chatting online the next day and I asked if he'd accidentally taken something thinking it was his own (very plausible) and he said no so I started getting more accusatory. I eventually found out the maid had put it in the icebucket in the bathroom.

[Guest PWIT]

>We were chatting online the next day and I asked if he'd

>accidentally taken something thinking it was his own (very

>plausible) and he said no so I started getting more

>accusatory. I eventually found out the maid had put it in the

>icebucket in the bathroom.

 

And just what do you mean by 'very plausible'? x(

[SAdler]

>And just what do you mean by 'very plausible'? x(

 

LOL ... awfully presumptuous to know what was taken aren't you

[Guest PWIT]

>LOL ... awfully presumptuous to know what was taken aren't you

>

 

taken or moved?

[+ Tygerscent]

I met with a Client in Anaheim... we played and then began conversation about my ethnic background and name... I talked he asked questions, he talked I asked question... moment of silence upon realizing we are related... That was a little disturbing for a moment or two. In spite of my offer for a "family membership Discount" he tipped me well anyways! When we werer younger he used to stay at our house and wear my pj's with the feet on them and fire engines... Strange to put the two memories together~~~

[Rick Munroe]

>Two problems with this story. One, your grandmother is not a

>very good tipper

 

Au contraire (pardon my French), she gave me a heavy sack of gold coins.

 

http://www.chocolategelt.com/catalog/images/gelt-in-bag.jpg

 

>and two Once you are moaning you would

>never stop someone from continuing.

 

No, I could stop someone after I've started moaning. It's only when I shift into groaning that we then enter the unstoppable phase.

 

>My guess, Derek in drag

>as Dereka Ross and the Supremely talented tongue.

 

Derek in drag...I'm going to have to give that some thought (and then try very hard to erase it). Do they even make plus-size dresses that could accommodate his shoulders and traps? :o

[+ Tygerscent]

Hey what's wrong with a little Granny Love? Show here how much you appreciate her for all those cookies she baked for you as a young boy... The snuggle time afterwords would have been raeson enough to continue alone! Grandmas give the BEST HUGS!

 

Tyger!

http://www.tygerscent.biz

503.317.8055

http://www.daddysreviews.com/area.php?loc=63150&who=tyger_portland

men4rentnow.com tygerscent in Portland, Oregon

[Rick Munroe]

>Hey what's wrong with a little Granny Love? Show here how

>much you appreciate her for all those cookies she baked for

>you as a young boy...

 

My grandmother never baked cookies. She chain-smoked, was devoted to her "stories" (General Hospital, etc) and the closest she came to baking was opening up an Entenmann's box.

[Kevin Slater]

A certain somebody hired me. It’s forgivable that I didn’t recognize him by sight, but even the name was lost on me. We had a very fun time regardless and ended up spending most the night together. It wasn’t until the next day that it dawned on me that he was well known.

 

Before we saw each other again he had lost some weight, cut some hair and basically looked pretty darn hot. When he opened the door I again didn’t recognize him but this time assumed he was another escort the client brought in to play along. There were a few wonderfully silly and awkward moments before we both figured what was going on. Tame story, but embarrassing.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ purplekow]

>Derek in drag...I'm going to have to give that some thought

>(and then try very hard to erase it). Do they even make

>plus-size dresses that could accommodate his shoulders and

>traps? :o

 

 

Is that why Rosie O'Donnell doesn't wear a dress?

[valentino11]

hmmm...just a funny story

 

a kid (he was like 23)paid me almost $20 of my fee in quarters - they were not rolled or anything but he had them ready. I knew he was saving them for laundry so I started laughing and told him i did the same thing. i took 10 quarters for my laundry and left the rest for him

[BigK]

Great thread Jared. Thanks. Don't know what some found confusing about your post.

 

Self deprecating humor usually always hits the mark.

[Louis]

"Great thread Jared. Thanks. Don't know what some found confusing about your post.

 

Self deprecating humor usually always hits the mark."

 

It worked for Rodny Dangerfield...:-)

[Vincent_Michael]

I just thought of the most embarrassing moment while escorting ever...I went on a road trip with a client from San Antonio to Florida and on the way I got sick with a strong case of the stomic flue. I was fine the first day but noticed some discomfit that day. On the second day I sadly I got the urge to relive my self and sadly got to the bathroom to late and messed my underwear, I threw the underwear away lol and of course and my client came to use the bathroom after me and noticed...I was so embarresed he noticed!! I was lucky he was a doctor and helped me through my pain by understanding and getting me some female anti cramp meds that really seemed to help...If your out there thanks again for everything!

[Bilbo]

I haven't read this entire thread so maybe I am repeating someone. So be it. That is not a mathmatical equation. It is the proper form of a syllogism, a unit of "logic", I think its called. Anyway, it has been used in philosophy since the Greeks!

[SAdler]

>I haven't read this entire thread so maybe I am repeating

>someone. So be it. That is not a mathmatical equation. It is

>the proper form of a syllogism, a unit of "logic", I think its

>called. Anyway, it has been used in philosophy since the

>Greeks!

 

Actually I don't think anyone but you has called it an equation thus far. And the way I represented it was in it's mathematical form ... the "transitive property."

[AdamSmith]

>... the "transitive property."

 

Scott the polymath ( :+ ) will see right through this old chestnut:

 

a = b

a² = ab

a² - b² = ab - b²

(a+b) (a-b) = b (a-b)

a + b = b

b + b = b

2b = b

2 = 1

[Kevin Slater]

I had a fun one this morning. A new client comes over wearing a Tshirt which simply read NYFF. How was I to know there's a NY Film Festival?

 

Kevin Slater