When do I become a creepy stalker?

[Rudynate]

 

23 hours ago, Jaroslav said:

I understand the spirit of this, but the one who is getting paid does work for the one paying. You can set the parameters of what you offer when, but ultimately the escort is working…hence why I’m paying. You’re working with someone if I ask you to bring another escort to work with you.

Arranging a mutually agreeable time to meet isn’t working with me. It’s arranging an appointment. And it’s especially not working with me if you tell me you’re availability and I have to accommodate you. Working with you in that sense means you’re just as willing to restructure your schedule for me as I am for you. I’ve hired very few escorts who will make changes to their schedules for me.

Some people like to say "working with" instead of "working for" to emphasize that it is an interaction between equals.  And it is.  The provider has complete freedom to define the services he/she will provide, when they will provide them, how much they will charge.  And they have complete freedom not to negotiate any of these terms with you if they don't want to.   Of course, they risk losing a propect, but they know that.  OTOH,  you have complete freedom not to hire somebody who will not accomodate you.  

People tell me "no" all the time when I tell them what I charge.  And I know in advance that many of them will tell me "no."  Most service professionals have fee schedules and calendars and define the terms on which they will provide service. Why are escorts any different?

 

[Rudynate]

On 3/24/2023 at 5:12 PM, APPLE1 said:

OP here. I have done both. I have moved on and gotten the services I wanted in a time frame similar to what I wanted, and I have waited to see if there was ANY response (ie - sorry I was out of town, I have been incredibly busy this trip, etc). However, WHEN to move on, wasn't my question. The question was, and I may have inadvertently wrote it with some ambiguity, 'if there is NEVER a response, do I reach out again my/their next trip, the next time I am looking to hire, etc. If so, how many times before I stop inquiring.'

That's certainly not a criticism of the direction this thread took, or anyone's response. Obviously, discussions take turns, and segways develop. Truth be told, as you will read below, the turns this discussion took, we're helpful to me in answering my own questions.

I recognize that I don't have an employer / employee relationship with providers. They are independent contractors. Therefore, there's no reason to treat them any different than a contractor I contact to cut down a tree next to my house. I don't pay him a weekly salary, and he may very well not respond to me. I can hire someone else, and the next time I need another one cut, if I feel his reputation and circumstances warrant it, I can reach out to him again to see if I get a response. 2 or 3 times of reaching out for subsequent tree cutting jobs wouldn't make me feel like a pest or a stalker, so it shouldn't make me feel that way reaching out to ANY service provider.

Finally, I think I can also apply the adage that I have found true for any service: good, cheap, fast - pick 2! Maybe good and cheap makes a provider too busy to respond immediately. Maybe good and fast makes a provider able to sit around most of the day and respond immediately because he is pricing himself above a reasonable rate. I can say from experience, that I have had clients who want their issues addressed IMMEDIATELY. Personally, I either make them pay through the nose for it, OR I decide they are too much work and refer them elsewhere.

Yup. How is it any different with providers?   

[Rod Hagen]

On 3/27/2023 at 2:44 PM, Jaroslav said:

I understand the spirit of this, but the one who is getting paid does work for the one paying. You can set the parameters of what you offer when, but ultimately the escort is working…hence why I’m paying. You’re working with someone if I ask you to bring another escort to work with you.

I get that.  But it's not how I see contracting with others.  I don't feel like the guy who cuts my hair works for me, nor does the woman who cleans my apartment every other week work for me, they do something and I pay them.  But when I was an engineer and I hired others to the team, they worked for us/me.  It's just how I've always seen working "independently" since I started escorting.  I see it more as working together. 

I guess it's because either of us can walk away at any time, but that's less easily the case when you are an employee.

[Rod Hagen]

On 3/27/2023 at 3:30 PM, Unicorn said:

The OP, and any posterity reading this string, can make up their own minds whether to take my advice or not. It's no sweat off of my brow either way. 

Right, our back and forth has gone on too long.  I guess 1. I don't like feeling like I'm being told what to do (who does?) :-) and 2. I think your young friends are so addicted to their phones that they can't help but respond right away!  Ok, back to the original post.  

 

[Rudynate]

31 minutes ago, Rod Hagen said:

Right, our back and forth has gone on too long.  I guess 1. I don't like feeling like I'm being told what to do (who does?) 🙂 and 2. I think your young friends are so addicted to their phones that they can't help but respond right away!  Ok, back to the original post.  

 

I'm definitely NOT addicted to my phone.  People think I'm igngoring them if I don't respond to a text for half a day.