Real Name Disclosure To Escort/Client

[doctordoctor]

Hey All....have met with a favorite escort a few times over the last year or more and he's entirely well-reviewed and smart, a good guy. Thinking of an overnight out-of-town trip with him and wondering if real names are eventually disclosed to each other by this point, typically, or...what? I'm not at all experienced with frequent and regular escort-hiring and don't know the protocol When you buy a plane ticket, do you get his real name and get it for him yourself, or give him money to do it himself, or what? I'm thinking about all the little particulars, like do you leave your wallet laying out on the table in the hotel room, etc...etc...? I do trust this guy entirely, but just wondering when/how often you guys disclose names. I'm sure some of you will answer that a level of trust has to be established, blah blah blah, but just wondering about specific experiences. First names have already been exchanged (I think!).

 

Gotta say I'm just a little nervous about giving out my last name to him, just in case. I'm curious about his real name just for fun, I guess. Comments, ideas? Thanks for your time with this.

[doctordoctor]

Grammar Correction

 

there should be a period between protocol and When in the third line above....thanks....no biggie

[+ deej]

It depends.

 

I don't leave my wallet sitting around a hotel room unattended even when I'm alone, so I'm not going to start because I'm with an escort. ;-) But if you're going to spend a weekend together, one presumes rather intimately, reality will make real names a necessity. He'll need a name to check into the hotel, he'll need a name to contact you at the hotel if he's meeting you there, or you'll need his, etc.

 

For flights, the tried and true travel agent as intermediary still works. Have your guy call a travel agent and reserve his flight, and then you call the same agent to pay for it. But even that seems silly if you're going to be sleeping with him.

 

At some point you just have to give it up.

 

You do need to resolve your own thoughts and comfort level about all this, though, because if you're really bothered by it perhaps you'll be so uneasy you won't enjoy the weekend.

[Epigonos]

I travel frequently with one escort who I trust completely. We have know each others real names almost from the beginning (four years). He has stayed overnight at my place and I have stayed overnight at his. As far as airplane tickets are concerned I purchase the tickets for the major flights one in each of our names and he purchases the the tickets for the short flights and I reimburse him. It has come to the point that I mail him his fee prior to our trip so we don't have to carry a large amount of cash with us.

Now I certainly wouldn't recommend this degree of trust unless you are totally comfortable with the guy and trust him completely. Talk to the guy and get his opinion about how he wants to handle these matters. Communication and honesty are the KEYS.

[+ nycman]

I have never intentionally revealed my full name to an escort. I do use my real first name from the first communication. It freaks me out when someone calls me by a name that’s not mine. I’ve certainly slipped up a few times and revealed my full name, as have escorts. Sometimes it’s on the first date, sometimes it’s years later. There’s always that awkward 2-second pause when you both realized what just happened, a brief grin, and then I just move on with the conversation.

 

The “when” for me is...whenever it happens. I personally never do it intentionally and I never expect the escort to tell me his real name. Under most circumstances there’s really no reason to know each others names. As others have pointed out, even when making travel arraignments, there are many ways around disclosure.

 

That said, the reality of today’s world is that whenever you carry on a normal social conversation with someone for more than an hour or two, they’re going to have enough information to Goggle your ass in under 10 seconds flat. No two ways about it.

 

On a side note, I found out the real name of my favorite escort years ago. I still used his escort name all the time…which to my surprise he was hurt by…till I explained that I thought his escort name was hotter than hell and I just couldn’t stop calling him by that name. To me…that’s who he’ll always be!

 

Regarding the topic of leaving your wallet lying around...remove temptation. Put it away.

[ted]

I always use my real first name when meeting, even for the first time. I usually don't need to tell my full name, so I don't. I do tend to rehire the guys I really like, and usually by the third or fourth meeting I know his name and he knows mine. It really hasn't seemed to be a major issue since by the time it comes up we are both quite comfortable with each other. Travel arrangements-It really depends upon the escort as far as buying tickets. I usually buy the major tickets outright as an eticket, but with one guy I'm really comfortable with and trust, I just ballpark the tickets prices first and let him buy the tickets and send him a check for them. That way he gets the flights he wants for sure. Most escorts don't want to lay out they're own $$, even if it is for just a few days. Bottom line is if I wasn't comfortable with him I wouldn't be hiring for an extended period.

[Guest zipperzone]

>Regarding the topic of leaving your wallet lying

>around...remove temptation. Put it away.

 

That's sometimes hard to do. When travelling with the escort and sharing a room, you can hardly take your wallet into the bathroom with you when taking a shower or using the toilet, without looking like a complete jerk and broadcasting to the escort that you don't trust him.

 

I wish there was an easy solution but I have yet to find it.

[boypayer]

As a general comment mine is: This may be the "last chapter" in the almost universally recognized "book" about gay men. The name of that "book" would be : "Coming Out" !! Despite one's decision regarding name-calling, it boils down to PERSONAL responsibility!

[+ Charlie]

I only use my real full name with an escort when I'm paying for his services with a credit card.

[Steven_Draker]

The few times I gave my real name I found out later that it was misused, 'shared' and even posted on this very Message Board.

So, guys, give me another reason to not give it out :7

 

Steven Draker ~

http://www.gaydar.be/sexystud25

[adriano46]

In Europe with the high standard of hotel security when dealing with an escort who will come to your room you have no chocie but to give out the name. Some high end hotels will not put a call through to a room number without a name! So, whether I like it or not, the escorts generally have my name (and have not used it against me... so far...)

 

On the other end, most escorts working through agencies in Europe and Eastern Europe have stage names and these are really confusing (sometimes an escorts has 3 or 4 names over the course of the year!!). Most - when we have an overnight - divulge the real name early into the evening together. This saves a lot of awkwardness, such as saying "Hey Ivan, lick me!" and the guy does not respond because he is really "Sergei" (especially troublesome in 3-and 4-ways when the names are all mixed up!!!) :+

[jawjateck]

I have given my real name to only three escorts. Each involved travel arrangements. I am very discreet and protective of my personal info, but these guys are among the best. I had already hired two of them previously and knew the quality men they are before I scheduled the longer appointment. The other was very well-reviewed, and I took a chance, but we spoke several times on the phone, he was so easy to work with, and completely lived up to his reputation. I am zealous about guarding my privacy, but I had no problems with them.

 

On the other side, I have had at least 6 or 7 give me their real names. And I intend to remain equally deserving of their trust in me.

[AllDaySucker]

>even when making travel arraignments, there are many ways

>around disclosure.

 

Do you often get arrested when you travel? <grin>

[NASAguy]

This topic has come up before under various guises and it has always amazed me.

I ALWAYS use my real first name and my real last name is part of my email address so it is very evident to all escorts whom I have dealt with. What is the problem and why do so many people here feel they have to shield themselves.???? I am completely comfortable dealing with escorts and have probably hired 30 or more different ones. Not once have I had any problems with escorts knowing my real full name. Practically all the escorts I have been with have revealed their real first names (usually unasked) and most multiple visits have resulted in my knowing their last name also. I would never think about revealing this priviledged info to others.

So guys......why the cloak and dagger routines?????

[indyeric]

>I ALWAYS use my real first name and my real last name is part

>of my email address so it is very evident to all escorts whom

>I have dealt with. What is the problem and why do so many

>people here feel they have to shield themselves.???? I am

>completely comfortable dealing with escorts and have probably

>hired 30 or more different ones. Not once have I had any

>problems with escorts knowing my real full name.

>Practically all the escorts I have been with have revealed

>their real first names (usually unasked) and most multiple

>visits have resulted in my knowing their last name also. I

>would never think about revealing this priviledged info to

>others.

>So guys......why the cloak and dagger routines?????

 

I come from the same place on this. Many escorts don't accept calls with blocked IDs, and at a hotel it is often necessary to have the guest's full name to get a call through to the room. When I'm traveling, I'm not sitting at a computer all day, so I need to communicate by phone.

 

I suppose I could buy a prepaid cell phone and register it under a phony name, but why?

 

I'm fully "out" and don't have a spouse to hide my escrot activities from, so I have no worries that an escort is going to blackmail me. What would an escort do? Announce to the world that I'm gay? I already have. Announce to the world that I hired him? Sure I did--for a massage.

 

There were considerable costs when I came out. But the benefits in terms of mental health, self esteem, and no longer living a life built around keeping a secret more than outwieigh the costs.

 

--Eric

[JT Brooklyn]

indyeric...You are just one "Type" of Guy who hooks up with the Working Guy's. There are many different type's leading many different lives, that the Working Guy's deal with. Alot of Bi-Married's for instance among other Situations.

 

Bottom Line, once the Hookup is over, why is there any need whatsoever for any Personal known Info, If none is asked for or

forth coming during the Hookup. Most are satisfied with that situation.

"Slam Bam Thank You Man" suits alot on both sides! LOL :P

[indyeric]

>indyeric...You are just one "Type" of Guy who hooks up with

>the Working Guy's. There are many different type's leading

>many different lives, that the Working Guy's deal with. Alot

>of Bi-Married's for instance among other Situations.

 

I understand! And I used to be a bi-married man. But I could never have pulled off having sex with someone outside my marriage and keeping it secret. No surprise--I'm no longer married.

 

And while part of me thinks it's "wrong" to secretly have sex with someone else when in a relationship, and isn't something I could handle, I understand that it can work well and be handled responsibly for all concerned.

 

So how DO you keep things anonymous, from the client side? All arrangements via email?

 

--Eric

[JT Brooklyn]

indyeric..Good Question! IF he does "Incalls" No Problem, I can see?

You Call Discuss things Upfront, Set up a time and show up! You have to give him a "Number" in case of a Late Cancellation from him, It Happens. I can't see the Scenario getting any more non-info than this.

 

A visit to a Hotel Room, OUTCALL...the only difference is he know's your Room Number, as long as you are staying there! Again No other Info need be exchanged!

 

Another Scenario, the Client Rents a Hotel Room, never invites the Working Guy's to his Residence! Alot of Well to do Client's use this Procedure.....IF things are not working out for any reason, you BOTH checkout Early! LOL :P

[Guest Ryker]

When a client calls me and the name he gives me matches what is showing on Caller ID, I immediately get a good feeling about the caller. I can tell he's relaxed about himself and probably confident about the situation of making arrangements with an escort.

 

I think it's one of the best ways for a client to immediately "put his best foot forward."

 

MASSIVE MUSCLE MASTER OFFICER RYKER

 

http://www.MasterRyker.com

[BgMstr4u]

So true! I am convinced that the last escort I was with took my wallet out of my pants, checked it out, and replaced it while I was in the shower. It was in the pocket upside down from the way I always put it in. I'm pretty sure he didn't take money, but I am sure he looked at my IDs, because he asked me in a fairly pointed way what I do for a living (there was a professional ID there). I didn't say anything but checked out everything very carefully when I got home.

 

Needless to say, I will not return to him.