Puerto Vallarta in January

[Minneapolis]

Flew in to PV a couple of days ago.  I have been meaning to come here for a couple of years now.  A fun couple I stoked up a conversation while in Montreal said this place tops Canada for strippers.  It may be a tie😜

I will preface this with the culture here is all about tipping.  There are tip jars everywhere and that’s how many make their money.  That said, be ready to be overwhelmed at first for dancers asking you for a tips for just coming up to you and saying hello.

Let’s get started:

The first three clubs are right next to each other.  So you can go in and out.  No cover.  They are on the street with all the major gay nightclubs.  Some of these have beautiful go go boys as well.

Club 69 - my favorite so far.  It is a two level with an upstairs balcony area that surrounds the club so you can watch the dancers below.  There’s seating along the wall to the right as you enter.  There is a host that greets you and asks you what you want to drink. I sat down down on the couch area.  Immediately there are dancers coming up to you greeting you, asking you if you want a private, etc.  and then ask you for a tip.  Just for talking with them for 30 seconds.  It took me awhile to get use to it, but I eventually did.  Most of the dancers were muscular.  Some smooth chest, so hairy.  A good mix. A couple of them were really good on the pole.  One dancer who looks like Jack from the White Lotus did an amazing pole dance. Another patron saw  him the next day with his girlfriend at the beach. 💔 So the dancers perform on stage and then go around for tips.  The rest of the time dancers are talking up customers for privates and tips.  I will back tonight for a couple of the dancers.  
 

Wet Bar - Similar vibe, but much smaller bar, but brighter.  It has an 80’s feel to it.  Dancers are similar to Club 69, but more agreesive.  Again, just hold your ground and say no thanks.  Most of them understand at least some english, so it isn’t too hard to talk.I did a private with someone who looked like Timotheé Chalamet.  Only more muscular.  This is where the privates differ from Canada.  You pay for the room $500 pesos (about $25 US) for ten minutes. The dancer gets naked and you can touch him around the body, but nothing sexual.  If you give the dancer another $500 pesos, then you get to interact more like a lap dance.  I did have fun teaching him some lap dance moves like breathing into the customers ear and talking dirty while playing with him.   Again there are prices for everything.  They are open to receiving blowjobs, but they won’t give a blowjob without a condom.  They will ask if you prefer to suck cock or eat ass—which I found to be a little amusing.  Hot guys and prices similar to Canada.

Pervert - you have to walk upstairs to get to the club.  I walked in and was the ONLY customer.  I felt like a lamb that just walked into the wolves den. Of course, I was immediately greeted by 10 guys asking for a dance.  Wow!  I got a drink and had a nice lap dance with a cute guy.  Paid the host the fee.  This wasn’t even a private,but I’m fine with PDA.  I left after this dance.  I’m sure it’s fun once it fills with customers, just don’t be the first one at 10pm.

Antropology - Big disappointment.  Went in and very aggressive dancers. Not attractive by the other stripclub standards. These guys have seen better days. There were only 2 dancers I even considered.  One was beautiful.  He stuck out like a rose among thorns. Another was in his early 40’s.  Looked like a younger Armand Assante.  Didn’t stay long enough to have a dance.  Might go at midnight with more crowds. There is supposedly a sex show late at night but I didn’t stay around for it.

Still have one night left. The city is beautiful and the climate is perfect. Even without the clubs, this is a great city to visit when you need to get away from the cold. 
 

I’ll post more later.  If anyone has suggestions or wants me to check another place out, let me know.  I can’t promise, but I’m always looking for suggestions. 

[cany10011]

Thanks so much for the great review. 🙂 i’ll be visiting for the first time in a few weeks. My friend told me about a Timothée Chalamet look-alike who works at Daiquiri Dicks… Wonder if it’s the same individual  

[Buff Daddy]

Hey Minneapolis. What's a good place to stay down there? Very good review. Keep up the good work. And have a great time while you're there.

[12is12]

Thanks Mnpls,

So how much do u tip a guy for saying to him "no thnks"?   (-:

[Minneapolis]

At the airport ready to return to below zero temps🥶.  Highly recommend Puerto Vallarta to all who would love a trip with beautiful men and sunny weather.

We actually had rain yesterday with overcast most of the day.  But it was still in the 70s and it was nice to be able to not have to get shade erect few hours. This Minnesotan burns pretty easily.

Had a massage around 4pm from an extremely cute boy.  Normally cost $70, but I negotiated up to a happy ending.  After one hour, I was spent.  Should have done that at the beginning of the trip.  You can find places all around zona romantica offering massages.  
 

After a great dinner, I headed to the gay district to have a couple of drinks before going to the strip clubs. So much fun!  
 

I went to Wet Dreams first. Not as crowded as the night before and fewer dancers. I think they recognized me because they weren’t as aggressive.  Met a few people from the Midwest, who were there for a bachelor party.  Fun group and they kept the dancers busy.

I tried Pervert again.  Only a handful of dancers there.  Hung out on the balcony with two of them.  One was a newbie and I had fun teaching him how to do a lap dance.  
 

Finally ended up at Club 69.  Hands down the best club. I didn’t do any privates, but I did have fun with a few of my favorites on the couch.  

Already planning the next trip. It has everything.  Sun, fun and lots of hot men😜

[Dr.Daddy]

Going in May for my bachelor party and this is so helpful! What were the massage upcharges for HE? Any gogo guys try to go home with you from clubs? Do you get the idea you can ask the strippers to dance at your room/hotel. We will have a group and maybe that would be fun. 

[Minneapolis]

Most of the dancers I asked did privates outside of the club and I get the feeling they can leave the club earlier than the dancers in Montreal.  All three bars had “hosts” that were dressed in all black getting drinks, answering questions.  I would approach one of them to see if they could arrange something for you. Tip him well and you’ll have a great evening.they speak fluid English and Spanish so the commutation will be seemless.

I did see some groups gather together with dancers along the far wall.  They set up “reserved” signs all over, but I don’t think it’s really enforced. Just tell the host right away you are there with a bachelor party and they’ll treat you right. On my last night there, an older guy came in with a beautiful woman and two gorgeous men.  They sat down by me, but only interacted with him.  Didn’t even say hello.  I eventually struck up a conversation with the older guy and asked about his night.  He was polite, but really focused on the dancers.  He flirted with a couple and then left.  My mind was going crazy thinking of all the different scenarios that could happen in their hotel room later.  My gut tells me these guys are dancers and met the older gentleman a couple of nights before. 

Have fun.  I recommend Club 69 for the group, but I think they are all good for parties of gay men wanting to enjoy beautiful men!

As far as my massage, I paid $4000 pesos which is around $200 dollars. Hope this helps!  Enjoy!

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 2/2/2023 at 2:08 PM, Dr.Daddy said:

What were the massage upcharges for HE?

I spent 3 weeks in Puerto Vallarta over Christmas and New Year's.  I had a massage every day.

Prices ranged from:

Low end (but not always guaranteed a Happy Ending): Advertised 700 pesos ($35 US) for 1 hour massage; I would give them 1000 pesos ($50 US) total including tip at the end of they have me a good massage and Happy Ending.  Happy endings varied from hand jobs, to oral, to fingering

Mid range: 600 pesos ($30 US) for 30 minute upper body or lower body massage in a chair on the gay beach.  Out in the open, so nothing sensual; but, damn it feels nice to have your muscles worked on while facing the ocean, having drinks delivered to you, and watching gorgeous men in speedos walk by!

High end, but guaranteed sex:  I would offer 1500-2000 pesos ($75-100 US) to massuers to come to my hotel room and give massage and bareback sex.  Did this several times with several great guys.  I usually wanted  2 hours and offered 3000-4000 pesos ($150-200 US) pesos for 2 hour massage and bareback penetration.

Very high end: Strippers and RentMen ask 4000 pesos ($200 US).  While they're nice to look at, in my experience the RentMen don't give a good massage, and the Strippers won't offer anal.  I do have a regular stripper who works at 69 who will come by my hotel room on his way to work, and let me give him a blowjob for 700 pesos ($35 US), but I won't book a full hour with him because I've tried it and he just doesn't do it for me.  He looks good, he gives great lap dances, but he's just not a massuer or escort.

Edited February 4, 2023 by Vegas_nw1982

[Dr.Daddy]

WOW WOW WOW! Thank you men! This is all very helpful. I am such a planner so the idea of just waiting until I get to the strip club to talk to a guy in a suit is stressful. If you are willing to share any contacts, please PM me! I want to make friends with a stripper at 69 too. 

@Vegas_nw1982 where did you find the ‘high end, but guaranteed sex’ guys? Were they guys from the low end places? I love your categorization of activities/massages! Any specific low end places where you had the best luck?

@Minneapolis we can only wonder what happened! Another forum member suggested that to have fun in these kinda of places all you have to do is open your mouth as wide as your wallet. Haha!

[Minneapolis]

On 1/28/2023 at 2:11 PM, Buff Daddy said:

Hey Minneapolis. What's a good place to stay down there? Very good review. Keep up the good work. And have a great time while you're there.

I stayed at the hotel Porto Allegro.  Very simple.  Right by the river and there blocks from the beach.  The view was of a wall next door, but enough light came in.  It’s in the romantic zone and I could walk to all the clubs and restaurants.  I only used a cab to get to and from the airport.  Again, very simple.  Bed, bathroom with a shower (good pressure), small table with chair and a fridge.  Also a vanity to store your clothes and a safe to store your passport,etc. it was about $125/night. I would stay again.  Although I would like to stay in a couple of nights at a beachside resort to wake up to the ocean. 

[Dr.Daddy]

Great choice, @Minneapolis! For my bachelor party we have friends split between two spots: Casa Cupula and Porto Allegro. If they want fancy rooms and to be right up next to the pool party, they choose the former. If they want simple but solid and a bit more economical, they choose the latter. Those at Allegro can always come party with us at Cupula (known for its naked pool parties on Saturdays). We will be in PV May 12-14 if anyone is around! Feel free to share any stripper/dancer/masseur suggestions too. 

https://www.casacupula.com

http://www.hotelportoallegro.com

[pubic_assistance]

Outside of the "naked pool parties" Casa Cupula is a charming small hotel with beautiful views a charming staff and beautifully served breakfast. It attracts a bit classier group of gentlemen than the hotels on the beach do. (Yes, I'm a snob). I'm too old for the Spring break in Rehoboth accomodations.

Edited February 5, 2023 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[Dr.Daddy]

@pubic_assistance It was your recommendation that led me to choose Cupula for the big celebration! Thank you, thank you! It’ll be perfect. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 2/4/2023 at 8:23 PM, Dr.Daddy said:

@Vegas_nw1982 where did you find the ‘high end, but guaranteed sex’ guys? Were they guys from the low end places? I love your categorization of activities/massages! Any specific low end places where you had the best luck?

Grindr

In Puerto Vallarta's Romantic Zone, look for Grindr profiles with the 💆emoji, then offer a price for massage and penetration at your hotel room.  When you find a winner, keep his number for future visits.

[cany10011]

57 minutes ago, Vegas_nw1982 said:

Grindr

In Puerto Vallarta's Romantic Zone, look for Grindr profiles with the 💆emoji, then offer a price for massage and penetration at your hotel room.  When you find a winner, keep his number for future visits.

Is that emoji a code for something? I'm not really familiar with all the emojis

[Dr.Daddy]

It means massage. 

[cany10011]

1 hour ago, Dr.Daddy said:

It means massage. 

Thanks… i have poor eyes…It looked like a person with fox ears or something…  Now I see it. Thank you

 

Edited February 7, 2023 by cany10011

[Chidude]

Has anyone stayed at Almar gay resort on the beach?  I’m assuming they have a visitor friendly policy?  Hehe 😏 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

2 hours ago, Chidude said:

Has anyone stayed at Almar gay resort on the beach?  I’m assuming they have a visitor friendly policy?  Hehe 😏 

I have.  I won't stay there again.

Overpriced, money focused, not a gay hotel.  They are "gay friendly", but which hotel isn't these days? Can't be naked at their pool.  Staying there offers no discounts or access to their beach club.

Stay at a different hotel a little further north, closer to the nighttime action in Romantic Zone.  You can always visit their beach during the day, but their hotel on top of a hill is a far walk at night and goodluck getting an Uber or taxi to pick you up there, it's just too out of the way for them.

[Alfstoria]

Reading all this reviews and with this unstable NYC weather. I will give a try to PV, for my first time.
I have few days to stay there, so I will go straight to the point. Love places, like Mtl ,were you can see the guys/dancers to have dance then a nice private. 
for what I read, it looks like club 69 is my type of place… I am sucker, no pun, for jock type but pretty boys latin or European. 
Is the romantic zone the area to stay?

I may do beach but mostly I will do boys 😜😝😜😝

any tip will be appreciated, I will report, as always. 
Thanks @Minneapolis for the detailed report. 
I may take a plane in the upcoming weekends. 

Edited March 2, 2023 by Alfstoria

[Chelseaboi]

Based on a recent trip to PV, I preferred Wet Dreams. The boys were just as cute as 69, but a little less aggressive. 

[alageorge]

Chelseaboi, does Wet Dreams still have those wonderful rooms for privates with locking doors and stacks of clean towels?

[Chelseaboi]

Yes, but with paper towels