Buying escort a gift?

[male2male]

Can I ask other escorts what they think? I have seen this particular escort about 5 times. We were talking and he (unsolicited) mentioned a nice particular item he wanted to buy. I went out and bought it for him. It is very expensive. A friend of mine thinks it was a bad idea. I really just wanted to do it for him...really have no strings attached or real expectations. For sure, I want to keep seeing him and he, I think, likes me and was very appreciative. Is there any problem with doing this??? I think the escort and I are really friends. Was it inappropriate for me to do that?

[JamesK840]

Since the bitter olde queens are waging war against escorts to the point there aren't many left brave enough to post in reply, I'll loan you my $0.02...

 

If you've got the money to do it and really don't expect anything for it (hence, gift...) then I don't see anything wrong with it.

 

The problem comes from expectations. Maybe it makes you expect genuine affection so you will be more hurt when the illusion is broken, worse, maybe he starts to expect more from you and is pushy or at least feels let down if it doesn't happen again. So the danger is that you complicate the relationship and it ends up making it less enjoyable for you.

[Zippy]

Nice response, James.

[BobbyThompson]

>Can I ask other escorts what they think... I went out and bought it for him. It is very expensive...I think the escort and I are really

>friends. Was it inappropriate for me to do that?

 

That was really nice of you, but personally, I prefer a quid pro quo relationship. I'm not really comfortable receiving gifts because I feel the balance is thrown off. I'm sure most normal people would appreciate such a gift, but the uber-libra in me just feels uneasy.

 

Are you sure it really was "unsolicited?" Maybe he mentioned it with purpose?

 

James hit the nail on the head with the pros and cons. Make sure you analyze your motives and see where you fit.

[male2male]

In thinking about motives I might have had.....I think I can say that I just wanted to do it. ...and maybe to express my appreciation for the friendship we have developed. We talk alot and visit about things going on in our lives...new job, family probs, etc...so I guess I didnt consider the outcome....I think the "balance" thing is possible....although, he couldnt afford to buy me something expensive, I can afford it. There could be no balance there....I dont think our friendship is affected, ... I hope not. I really am not into the power thing, (I did this so you gotta do that...move in, see me more,,,etc,,etc), and havent had that intent. ...but I see where you all are coming from.....

[Rick Munroe]

>I'm not really comfortable receiving

>gifts because I feel the balance is thrown off.

 

Not me. I give so much of myself that I have no problem accepting gifts (although it doesn't happen too often). For example, if someone sent me the new RuPaul dolls for my birthday when they come out in June, or better yet the new 80gig iPod when that finally gets released, I'd be extremely grateful and I'd promise to post in my blog everyday like a good boy.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey stud,

You have received intelligent answers, and I am sure that you are giving this matter time to be considered. That in itself is great.

I just want to adress one thing that caught my eye:

 

You say that you are friends... I thought you were engaging in a mutually beneficial commercial agreement.

 

In my bussines, I am deeply friendly and really care for some of my regular customers; it is a real joy, and a trully exciting ocassion whenever I visit some of them again... But I am still a service provider, and they are my customers. My really special customers, sure, but I had the need to talk about this, because every commercial deal can be clouded in a very ugly way the minute boundaries are trespassed.

 

If I am buying a convertible Jaguar, I can only expect that the dealer is going to buy me expensive dinner to discuss the car's details over champagne. (Paid by him, of course).

 

If I have been shopping at the same jewelry store for quite a while and know the sales lady very well, and love her family and kids and really have a hell of a time when trying to decide wheter I want a .99 carats pure "D" diamond, or I prefer a slightly flawed "H" color, carat and a half, I am sure that gifts are going to exchange hands in important ocassions...

 

But she is still my gemstone dealer... he is still my car dealer, he is still my escort, or client.

 

if you are absolutely sure about that, clear in your head and heart, and still you want to give him something that might lighten up his day, go for it. He will be thrilled if he is sure that he is not forced to do anything he doesnt want to do in exchange. After all, remember that AT ALL TIMES we give gifts for our own pleasure... The part that counts is when we choose it, we enjoy buying it, we enjoy giving it... whatever happens next is all an extra.

 

A good way to know if a gift is intended as pressure or simply a gift, id the timming. if you give him a Cartier watch before negotiating a week-long trip to Bahamas... he knows he will have to pay for it. if you slip the watch unnanounced in his suitcase before saying goodbye after that hot, amazing trip... it just means "Fuck, that was hot, thanks loads." (Thanks "for those" loads, perhaps?)

 

But again... you always know what your intention is when doing things... dont you?

 

Happy giving!..... -and receiving- (yes, I LOVE flip-flop.) :9 :9

[DelawareGuy]

I bought an escort I was seeing a birthday gift; he was going to be traveling and I thought a nice travel wallet would be a good gift idea. It cost more than the average tip, but it was a one-time splurge. I don't think the occasional gift is out of line; it's not unusual for people who have business relationships to give or get a gift at a holiday. I guess it's just a matter of not crossing the line.

[male2male]

I appreciate the great messages here ! The escort I gave the gift to was really appreciative. He has quite a past and I wanted to do something to really make him happy...and really thats all I wanted. I dont expect him to see me exclusive, move in, etc, etc. I have alot of pleasure seeing him happy with it. I have the habit of giving him a little gift the moment I see him when we get together. Its a ritual kind of. I like to do it...but I want the friendship to continue and dont want to jeopardize the times we have bu making a wrong move...Should I hold back the giving???

[male2male]

I guess I may have crossed. It was really expensive, but IM OK WITH IT 11. I just dont want to lose my friend and escort because of my gift....its hard to rationalize...why am I worried about fallout from giving a gift to someone ????....weird !

[Luv2play]

I think it all comes down to proportion. You say you can afford these gifts and you enjoy giving them. You seemed to hint that this escort has had to overcome some things and your gifts are meant to bring him pleasure. So far, so good. But it still comes down to whether these gifts are proportional to the relationship you have with him.

 

You say you have had 5 engagements. I'm assuming these have not been 5 one week vacations, but if they were, then that would weigh in the balance. If they were all just short one or two hour "dates", then that would have to be considered. If you have spent, say, $1000 to $2000 on these dates, then a gift of a couple of hundred dollars might be alright. As a one-off. Small regular gifts of $20 or so (say a bottle of wine) are fine too.

 

Where you get into trouble is where the gift is WAY out of proportion to what you have invested in him. Because it is an investment in a way. If you enjoy his company, then you will want to continue seeing him. But if the gifts you have given him have created the wrong impression by being out of proportion, then I think you are letting yourself in for a let-down, sooner or later.

[dcbikeracer]

If you do this, as I have done..keep the gift small. Under $40 so that it shows apprecation and nothing more. Because when he retires he will soon forget your name

[jason_jboiCali]

how much music do you have where you need an 80 gig ipod? someone got me a 60 gig and I've only got enough music for about 40. And I have a lot of music. Over 500 albums now I think. My collection is growing though, and I can see it reaching 80 at some point. Props to you man. Props. What is props anyway? Well, whatever they are, people tend to give them for envious congratulations. And I am envious. Maybe we can trade some music? That would bring me... pleasure. :9

[jason_jboiCali]

Not always. I have had a couple friendships that evolved from client relationships. And when a client buys me a gift it shows they thought of me even when I wasn't around. That's something that shows friendship. Then again, it is hard to keep a working relationship between friends. I don't know, maybe it's because I have so few friends, having just moved to LA recently and not knowing many people, or maybe it's because most of the people I have met listen to aweful music and don't know how to savor an experience, but I find I have a lot in common with some clients. So, I don't think it's fair to paint an escort as someone who only cares about getting money from clients. We are, after all, people before we are escorts.

[JT Brooklyn]

IMHO. Luv2 Is right on the money..Also ..The Value of the Gifts goes up, the Prospect of becoming a "Sugar Daddy" is possible. Alot of "Workin" guys are NOT looking for that type of "Relationship". Different guys Escort for Different reasons. You might be taking this, "where he wants to go" or you might not..It is.. His Time-Your Money! :+

[Guest zipperzone]

>it's not unusual for people who have business

>relationships to give or get a gift at a holiday.

 

That's true - but in my experience, it is usually the client who RECEIVES a gift from the service provider as a way of thanking him for his business. When the client is the GIVER it is kinda unusual.

[Rick Munroe]

>how much music do you have where you need an 80 gig ipod?

>someone got me a 60 gig and I've only got enough music for

>about 40. And I have a lot of music.

 

Hmmm...maybe I am a size queen, after all (not regarding dicks but definitely re: hard drives). I guess I don't have enough music to fill it up but I read a rumor that the new 80g will also have a much, much longer battery life, so that's really the selling point for me.

 

>Props to you man. Props. What is

>props anyway?

 

Yeah, that's kind of a silly word; let's pick a new one of our own. How about "dildoes"? Dildoes to you, man. }(

 

>Maybe we

>can trade some music? That would bring me... pleasure.

 

Well, I like bringing guys pleasure, and I bet you do, too. ;-)

[ErikMcAlister]

YES!

 

It is perfectly fine for you to buy me the car. Anyone who says otherwise is jealous!

 

Thanks!

[sashek]

Hi,

I thought I'd comment, from a client's perspective. A number of years ago, an escort who I'd been hiring and I decided that we should just be friends. I continued for a long time, though, to buy him gifts - some quite expensive, others less so. After a while, I began to get resentful that there wasn't anything "in return." I had to take a serious look at the situation and I realized that although he'd been honest with me about being friends, I hadn't been honest with myself. I hoped that something else - love? - would evolve. Well, it didn't.

In your case, Male2male, I guess one way to know if buying your escort/friend an expensive gift was inappropriate, or if your motives were mixed, is to ask yourself this question: "Do I buy my non-escort friends expensive gifts?" If you do, then I don't think you've got anything to worry about - you're just a nice, generous guy. I wish you the best and hope this situation works out for you.

Sashek

[Uncle Bill]

I was listening to RESPECT for the gagillionth time the other day, and it occurred to me that "props" was short for "propers" which in the song meant showing proper respect. That's my theory anyway (and I realize that it's not particularly profound or original).

 

I don't have a theory on "dildoes" yet, but I'll work on that ;-) Maybe Jason would like to be the subject of my experimentation, }(

[jason_jboiCali]

i don't get into sex toys. I refuse to derive pleasure from plastic! LOL. Anyway, I had no theories on props at all, but I like yours. So we'll just assume that's where props comes from. A mystery solved.

As for dildoes, we all know where they're going, but does anyone actually know where they came from? Imagine some injection-molding machine making dildoes just like they were tupperware or something. Weird.

[Uncle Bill]

I like you. You're funny :+

 

Then again, based on the review I wrote, I suppose that you already knew I liked you }(

[male2male]

I have to admit something.I may be in love with the escort. What should I do? Im really serious. I would really like to know what I should do to see if its mutual

[JamesK840]

>I have to admit something.I may be in love with the escort.

>What should I do? Im really serious. I would really like to

>know what I should do to see if its mutual

 

That is what it was starting to seem like. What you should do is prepare for disapointment. This isn't to say he's not a good person or you're not a good person, but I think there's just too much baggage for it to ever feel right. If you want love you should probably be on the dating sites...

 

Maybe look through older threads here, there are many discussions of this topic. Probably 1 positive for every 20 or so negatives, and I know a couple that looked positive but fell apart soon after.

[Guest Jesse Dane]

>I have to admit something.I may be in love with the escort.

>What should I do? Im really serious. I would really like to

>know what I should do to see if its mutual

 

Honestly, don't get your hopes up. We may make sparks fly, emotions boil, and hormones roar. But that's an escorts job. And yes, sometimes we're not faking things, sometimes there really is great chemistry. But of all the escorts I know...maybe 1 in 100 is going to actually be willing to change what they're doing.

 

I've had a couple guys fall for me. They offered me stability, money, an amazing lifestyle. But the most important thing for me is my personal freedom. And that was the only thing that I wouldn't have had anymore.

 

So try not to get too attached to an escort. Pretty Woman was a movie, not a reality.