If I loved you...

[Hugobay69]

Someone asked me how I separate emotion from escorting. I told them I don't as it would be silly and less enjoyable for both parties. In the course of a week I have had two overnight go bad because my dates expressed love for me and embarrassed by their own feelings and good nature have informed me that limited interaction in the future would be the gentlemen thing to do.

 

I don’t have a problem with someone falling in love with myself, it's quite flattering, humbling and extremely kind; however it seems as though a lot of lads out there are cautious of their emotions and thus protecting their lifestyle would rather prefer a quick lay and be done with the evening.

 

As a gentleman who enjoys pleasing when someone is upset I am keen to think there is something I can do to fix the situation and make it more enjoyable. Forgive me if I come off with a supercilious tone, as one lad described me as "spooky," how does an escort stop a client from falling in love? How can one be stopped from extending beyond that line from enjoyment, to wonder, to pure frightening?

 

-jay

[noviceny]

Very interesting question

 

I hate to give you this answer, but I dont think you can do (or not do) anything. The acts in which you engage do have a natural consequence (in the grand scheme of things) of engendering love. Touching, kissing, intimacy, a kind, compassionate person interested in another's needs...well thats enough in my book for someone to start falling in love. Add to it good looks and a person who may already be a bit lonely and BOOM...you have love, or at least an emotion and attraction that passes for love.

 

On your part, you have created (in words) a boundary about who you are and what you are there for...but the actions say something differently. Of course, you might think that everyone involved is an adult and able to deal with these things, but emotions know no age or maturity. Sometimes they just sneak up from behind and fuck you up !!!

 

You are probably doing all you can, but I would think if there is an answer for you, that it would lie within yourself. You know you best, and you are the one in these encounters that sees what is going on. Think deeply on advice that people give you and couple that with your own sensibilities and experiences. Hopefully, you will come upon an answer that will help with this issue.

 

Best of luck

 

Peace

[+ Charlie]

Some people, myself included, have no difficulty separating lust from love, but others simply cannot. Some cannot separate "like" from "love", when they are attracted to someone else. I don't think it has much to do with what you as an escort do--it depends almost entirely on the psychology of the client.

[+ Lucky]

One thing the escort can avoid doing is leading the client on. Another is not to take advantage of a client who exhibits symptoms of falling in love.

[best hotel]

....as a client who has developed loving feelings for escorts in the past 7 years, i can offer some advice...i have learned how to make love with an feel love for an escort without feeling the heartbreak and rejection that is inherent in the escort/client relationship..it helps if the escort is mature, non-exploitive, secure, and has good communication skills...those that have been flattered by my feelings without feeling threatened have become my regular escorts.. we enjoy mutually beneficial relationships...those who have become uncomfortable invariably made me uncomfortable...encourage your client to be patient and enjoy letting his heart soar...eventually, if he is reasonably healthy, it works out...running away from these feelings creates needless deprivation....many clients have been down this road and have come through it without regrets..i have had e-mail relationships with several sensitive client comrads and have seen many of them through to the other side....love and sex don't have to be separate... clear and healthy boundarys and mutual respect will do the trick....

[Knabegeil]

An interesting topic indeed. Also many interesting answers.

 

Can't say I've never "fallen in love" with an escort. Guess I have. Many times. But reality is always there. I was recently recalling how painful it was to come back to the USA from Brazil and leave behind someone I had come to like a lot. That was almost a year ago. Then, in this most recent thought process, it occurred to me that maybe it was hard for my friend as well when I left. It's a possibility. And I say this not with pride, but with a new awareness of failing to consider the other. To me, that's a good thing. Never mind the relationship question.

 

A beginning escort in Amsterdam gave me what I think is a really good piece of advice many years ago. He said the escort cannot "allow" the client to fall in love with him, because he (the escort) may not be willing or able to return the sentiment, and this would be bad for business.

 

There's a whole lot for readers to digest! Comments?

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Leading With My Right

 

>One thing the escort can avoid doing is leading the client

>on.

 

I tell my clients I am in love with Lucky. This makes them feel somewhat avoided, but never, ever lead on.

[+ Lucky]

RE: Leading With My Right

 

The truth never hurts.

[bigguyinpasadena]

HEY HUGOBAY!!!!!You totally lead this theatre queen into thinking I was going to come into this thread and find an audio clip of you singing one of my favorite songs!

Seriously,I have become smitten with a few working boys over the years.The smart ones either drop me before it becomes silly and messy-or know how do do the ,,,,JUST FRIENDS,LOVERS NO MORE,,,,JUST FRIENDS,,,,,,,thing really well and let me down soft.Of course there have been a couple that have toyed with my heart like a kitten with a ball of twine-the bastards!

[augustman]

Funny this posting came up in the past two weeks. I just had an experience last week with an escort who visited me. It was the first time I had actually been with an escort for a more than a day. I am sending in his review today, it was very difficult to write because I received so much more than sex. I did not want to send in a love letter. I actually had a companion who treated me as an equal and with the sensativity of a saged veteran which makes this young man more amazing since he is only 23, I am 49. Being married, I was able to discuss my feelings, as he discussed his.

 

Thankfully the distance he lives from me will keep me from being an old fool. As much as it hurt when he left and the twangs I still feel, what he offered me was the chance to first feel again, to address my feelings and realize I had been walling my self off so I would not hurt. Fortunately I faced this situation once many years ago not with an escort but with someone who was only looking for a sex partner. I was foolish than and never forgot. I use heavy excercise and pictures of family to remind me of reality. Plus I have just booked a session for just plain sex to help me move on.

 

I have always treated the gentlemen I have been with great respect, but I even have more now. Because I asked him how he deals with all these personal connections? It must be very difficult as much as you try to connect, they have to keep that insulation in place just to go on with regular living. In the end there is nothing wrong with a good cry, it makes laughter so much more enjoyable.

[Vincent_Michael]

Love with a client is something I totally understand.

 

I actually try to maintain and keep relationships with anyone that I feel can be a good friend to me however it helps if they live in my home city.

 

I will say I fell in love with one of my clients and still see him to this day and we talk very often however after the first time we saw each other we stopped the client relationship and perused something else completely.