Does biz and connections change, the longer you reside in a city?

[TallMuscl37]

I’ve first relocated to my current market in 2018, on and off traveling to other cities. There’s 2 cities which I ”base” myself between (Kansas City and St. Louis). Things were always “hit or miss” in both areas. Some weeks seemed pretty lucrative, but there were some extended lulls. Especially this time of year and during the summer it seemed.
 

Lately it seems the lulls have gotten more frequent, and extended. Neither location is really bringing steady biz. I had 2 new bookings in KC last week that went well, but then I went to St. Louis for some personal affairs and got nothing in 3 days. Finally threw in the towel and left.

On top of that, I had 2 “regulars” mess me about: one who started claiming my base price of $250 that we’ve done like 3-4 times already was too much for him (which I offered him a reasonable alternative). He didn’t book me while I was there, but tells me he can meet next week, but then this week rolls around and he can’t make it. Fortunately I had already left and changed my plans going back anyway. 
 

Another who I began a “friendship” with, became evasive, even though we kept in touch over texts and met a few times since August. He would share his plans, but when I would suggest something, he’d beat around the bush or be unavailable. Finally, I told him it’s best we part ways, and I’m moving on.

Add salt to the situation, I have only 1 or 2 real friends in each area, who are clients I’ve got along with. Everyone else have just been fuck buddies/acquaintances but after a couple or so meets, they aren’t consistent. I have a counselor that I confide in, but he is a married, gay man of color which helps relate. However he seems to be more used to a traditional lifestyle, that I’m not able to take on.

The environments aren’t ideal, so I don’t see a reason to immerse myself by picking up a job that obligates me to stay all the time. And most of the clients in the area don’t seem to have a genuine appreciation  of the escorts. It’s like a 1 or 2 time, last minute when they’re horny type of deal. Most can’t keep their word. It’s always lots of inquiries but not enough following thru.

At one point it was tolerable, but I feel like 4 years is too long to stay in some markets. Maybe if it were a San Francisco or New York traffic, but I’ve only lived in medium sized areas that “blew up” overnight. All that blowing up doesn’t always do much to improve gay social/biz life. It just raises rents and adds competition. Even though I travel twice a month, it’s not enough. Lately I haven’t been able to do trips longer than a week or 2 since the Spring.

Anyone have their own time frame for how long they prefer to live in an area? 

Edited November 17, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[CuriousByNature]

I'm not familiar with either KC or St.L., but it sounds like relocating may be a good idea. I think there are lots of places that do not get progressively worse. Perhaps do some online searches and look for the best cities for the various characteristics you prioritize. But first really know what your priorities are for a good quality of life, and be honest with yourself about which priorities are negotiable.  

[jeezifonly]

Jarrod, it’s time for you to find a nice, sensible girl, and get married.

[TallMuscl37]

5 hours ago, CuriousByNature said:

I'm not familiar with either KC or St.L., but it sounds like relocating may be a good idea. I think there are lots of places that do not get progressively worse. Perhaps do some online searches and look for the best cities for the various characteristics you prioritize. But first really know what your priorities are for a good quality of life, and be honest with yourself about which priorities are negotiable.  

Thanks, I do have a couple places in mind. I also applied for an incentive program that is open to pay and take in new residences. However, it seems a trade off in many areas in this country: The weather. Many of the nicer climate areas are more expensive and have lots of providers. The Deep South has longer summers, but it’s too much history.
 

Northern areas tend to reach my ideal base, but the winters are so long. Just a month or so ago, everything was nice and green, and now it’s all brown and freezer burnt. I don’t mind snow but not into just dreary and land locked. So I’m considering New York State. Chicago has not been a huge money maker for me.

It’s not necessarily worse in the sense of the word, but I feel after a few years in a city: unless you wind up in a steady relationship or have family/healthy friends, it’s hard to stay tied to an area. In my case, it’s family.

I even seen this with a neighbor who used to live upstairs. He met a guy, they started dating, even became “boyfriends”. Then the neighbor’s  boyfriend decided to take a job offer in Houston and moved. Well, the neighbor also moved. Not to be with him, but a different town in the next state over. 

I’ve had at least a couple of times where once I decided to finally leave a city, on the week of the move: I meet a great client or someone with possible relationship potential. Ironic.

5 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

Jarrod, it’s time for you to find a nice, sensible girl, and get married.

I’ll take the gurl with the hair part on the right, please and thankyou 😛 

That said, I know you also like to crack jokes but: I am trying to get actual observations/experiences about this topic

Edited November 17, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[TallMuscl37]

I’ll mention something else: I try to be thorough and make sure it’s not anything I’m doing/missing that may be affecting my volume of clients, and to also occasionally view RentMen like a client. Not logged in.

I just found out a couple things in the past week that I was unaware of: one, the link to websites in my IM signature when clicked shows a pop up of a warning from RentMen saying you’re leaving their site and warns of possible phishing. I wrote to them, and it’s just an automated message because somehow people were clicking fake sites and getting scammed. 
 

Also: I wasn’t aware that when I select “show number for verified members only” that when it’s clicked, it just says phone not available, instead of “please log in to view this number “. I was using that option because I got tired of the 1 or 2 word inquiries that give me nothing to work off if, scam sugar daddy texts, and just overall riff raff showing my number. But considering I have a separate ad phone, I decided to just go ahead and try again to leave it up. 

Even though: a person can read my ad and see the directions to my contact info, but for whatever reason some people can’t seem to find a way to reach me unless I have a number showing right in their face 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

[Guest]

My business is sales too and I deal with a lot of inquiries that I can’t always close. 

If I feel like I spent a substantial amount of time with a potential customer I will end up asking them what they ultimately decided to do. 

I ask if they opted for another company over price, turn around time, an unpleasant staff interaction etc. 

I’d say 6 out of 10 times they opted not to move forward at all. 4 out of 10 times they give me valuable feedback as to why I lost the sale. 
 

Do you do anything like that to see if the market has dried up or if you’re losing real clients to your competitors for some reason or another? 

[pubic_assistance]

On 11/16/2022 at 10:11 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Anyone have their own time frame for how long they prefer to live in an area? 

The time frame for how long to live in an area is equivalent to the level of satisfaction you're getting from living in the area.

You stated yourself that larger cities have more competition, but that's because they also have more customers. It's ok to be the "only game in town", but if there isn't a lot of activity, then that doesn't really carry much of a benefit, when the customer base is limited.

You should also consider that if business is drying up, it could be about YOU and not the area. 

As we age, we need to change our strategies for meeting people. When I moved to NYC, as a single guy I could have pretty much gotten whatever I wanted in terms of hooking up. I was young and cute, with a bubble butt and everyone wanted to fuck me.  As I aged, I got more muscular and more masculine looking; everyone wanted me to fuck THEM. As I grow into my 50's and my hair starts to gray and I pick up a wrinkle or two ..I don't get as many people randomly trying to meet me. And sometimes I end up online hiring, when I want the same kind of sexy men I used to get for free.  So things, change and we need to adapt.  Point being, how you market yourself and WHO you market yourself to, are not constants. You have to think about where more people are going to find your services appealing. Small cities are nice, but people tend to settle down and take a partner because the social scene is limited. Big cities have tons of tourists passing through and lots of different kinds of people with different kinds of tastes living there. So it might suit you better to find a small town adjacent to a large city where you have a larger and more diverse client base.

 

 

 

[TallMuscl37]

17 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

My business is sales too and I deal with a lot of inquiries that I can’t always close. 

If I feel like I spent a substantial amount of time with a potential customer I will end up asking them what they ultimately decided to do. 

I ask if they opted for another company over price, turn around time, an unpleasant staff interaction etc. 

I’d say 6 out of 10 times they opted not to move forward at all. 4 out of 10 times they give me valuable feedback as to why I lost the sale. 
 

Do you do anything like that to see if the market has dried up or if you’re losing real clients to your competitors for some reason or another? 

 

Well, in fact I do: but after a recent experience last week, I feel I may step back from spending time on clients who aren’t booking. I reached out to one guy who seemed like he was going to book me, but never seemed to be able to take the step. Would say, “work is busy, maybe/hopefully sometime this week, blah blah blah”.
 

I reach out to him a few weeks later, he finally is able to squeeze in a time, the same day I contacted him. But then, he gets in the hotel room, doesn’t know what he wants, then decides to end the session 10 minutes in. Make it worse: charges back the amount he paid me shortly after. And I actually ASKED HIM to pay me the rest of the amount with cash. In which he nearly cancelled the visit, saying he could only pay with card.
 

So now, I’m going to consider those type of people red flags. I want to work with people, but it seems in this biz: hesitation breeds contempt. And I can’t be bothered with people like that, because their motives are sketchy. 
 

14 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

The time frame for how long to live in an area is equivalent to the level of satisfaction you're getting from living in the area.

You stated yourself that larger cities have more competition, but that's because they also have more customers. It's ok to be the "only game in town", but if there isn't a lot of activity, then that doesn't really carry much of a benefit, when the customer base is limited.

You should also consider that if business is drying up, it could be about YOU and not the area. 

As we age, we need to change our strategies for meeting people. When I moved to NYC, as a single guy I could have pretty much gotten whatever I wanted in terms of hooking up. I was young and cute, with a bubble butt and everyone wanted to fuck me.  As I aged, I got more muscular and more masculine looking; everyone wanted me to fuck THEM. As I grow into my 50's and my hair starts to gray and I pick up a wrinkle or two ..I don't get as many people randomly trying to meet me. And sometimes I end up online hiring, when I want the same kind of sexy men I used to get for free.  So things, change and we need to adapt.  Point being, how you market yourself and WHO you market yourself to, are not constants. You have to think about where more people are going to find your services appealing. Small cities are nice, but people tend to settle down and take a partner because the social scene is limited. Big cities have tons of tourists passing through and lots of different kinds of people with different kinds of tastes living there. So it might suit you better to find a small town adjacent to a large city where you have a larger and more diverse client base.

 

 

 

I hear this out 100%, and I’m seeing evident now that small towns with few/no escorts aren’t all opportunity as it seems. There’s one city I normally do great in, located in the Midwest: The past 2 visits have been dismal, and I’ve had other visits like that as well over the past year. I almost considered moving there, but glad I didn’t because it’s proven to only be a place to visit once or twice a year. Going regularly has started becoming less profitable.
 

I’m definitely growing bored of smaller towns. However it’s hard to tell which bigger cities with lots of escorts can work out. Some places like Dallas and Atlanta have too many guys advertising than what the client pool can offer. I think most of the United States is too saturated with guys escorting in most all the larger cities.
 

That’s why I have been gravitating to smaller towns, but the above situation is an example of someone from a smaller town: sometimes small town fucks like to try and scam providers out of money because they harbor racist or homophobic tendencies of their own. 
 

As far as it being YOU, as in ME: I can’t necessarily say one way or the other. Maybe it is me: I know I have burned bridges with a few clients in my area: But only if they were regularly inflexible, wouldn’t keep their word whenever they reached out, cancelled last minute/short notice, always wanted to book last minute/short notice, wouldn’t ever give me any advance notice even when asked, etc etc.

That said, I’m definitely trying to find a bigger market regardless. I just can’t stay where I currently am working Kansas City and St. Louis. I’m literally relying on just 2 or 3 regulars. And even the surrounding areas I travel to haven’t been performing well lately. So I need a whole new regional change from this area.

Edited November 22, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[italianboyph]

I think so, but I also think it depends on the city you live. Where I live it's not really a "big" market to begin with. 

[pubic_assistance]

10 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

it’s hard to tell which bigger cities with lots of escorts can work out. Some places like Dallas and Atlanta have too many guys advertising than what the client pool can offer. I think most of the United States is too saturated with guys escorting in most all the larger cities.

I think you're assuming a saturation point based on your small town experience. Larger cities have proportionally more gay and bisexual men, so the client base is exponentially larger. You also find more bisexual men ( like myself ) who are married and not afraid to engage in same-sex activity outside of their marriage.

This is my opinion, but I would ask others to share their opinion too...but I don't think there is a significant saturation of male escorts in any major city that it goes beyond the demand.  Particularly in places that are tourist destinations, like Miami, New York, San Francisco and LA.

You don't need to live IN the big city, just nearby enough that you can make a quick trip to meet up with a client.

[TallMuscl37]

6 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I think you're assuming a saturation point based on your small town experience. Larger cities have proportionally more gay and bisexual men, so the client base is exponentially larger. You also find more bisexual men ( like myself ) who are married and not afraid to engage in same-sex activity outside of their marriage.

This is my opinion, but I would ask others to share their opinion too...but I don't think there is a significant saturation of male escorts in any major city that it goes beyond the demand.  Particularly in places that are tourist destinations, like Miami, New York, San Francisco and LA.

You don't need to live IN the big city, just nearby enough that you can make a quick trip to meet up with a client.

hmm, hmm…

I just know from my personal experience having been to many cities in the US. Now San Francisco has often been a good place because it is a large market AND a large GB population as well.

My experience is NOT small town, let’s back up and be clear on that. I’ve been to every major city in the country except for New York, and I actually did go there but I didn’t set up shop because I wasn’t really getting the hits I wanted.

I’m not making shit up in my head. I’ve been to small cities and popped 4 clients in one day. I’ve been to big cities like Chicago and Atlanta, most times I’ve gone I only get 1 maybe 2 clients if I’m lucky within a 2-3 day period and that’s it. The only major cities I’ve found to have steady hits have been San Francisco and Washington DC, and occasionally Phoenix and Milwaukee for smaller markets. But L.A., Miami, etc. haven’t been good since maybe 2008 when things were less expensive and it wasn’t as saturated with guys. 
 

I’m not saying someone or myself can’t go to those cities and still make a decent amount or meet any clients, but it’s not like I’m ever like: “let me plan a trip to this big city, and make $10,000 “. Because I know 50 other guys are going with the same aspirations, and at any given time there may only be a handful clients actively booking.

That’s where things get scientific. You have to think bigger than just population numbers, and think real time logistics.

Edited November 23, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut