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Rant on Responsiveness


Kody S

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I am going through a period of contacting masseurs for appointments based on their ads and simply getting no response at all. I simply state my name, the ad I’m responding to, the date, time range, and type of massage I’m looking for (based on options in the ad). I usually include that I am fully vaxxed. And I’m getting just nothing back.  This is unusual for me and I’m wondering about it.  If the provider is not interested for any reason, what is so hard about responding with something like  “Thank you for your interest but I’m not available.” It’s doesn’t seem like good business to not respond at all. But maybe that’s not important to them.  Whatever I am missing here let me know.  

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Yes, this has happened to me a lot as well.  I understand that someone might not be available, but I especially don't understand guys logging onto a website so their ads indicate they are "available now" and then they don't take the time to respond to inquiries.   I swear I had better luck in the Craigslist days, when someone would post an ad, I'd send an email, they'd reply within short order, and then if we agreed on terms we would have an appointment scheduled for anywhere from a half hour to a few hours later.  I certainly don't mind scheduling in advance, either, but one does have to wonder why some guys simply don't reply to polite, to the point inquiries.

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23 minutes ago, Kody S said:

Thank you all for these responses.  I neglected to say that I have just relocated to NYC and am experiencing this here where there are lots of options and lots of competition for the providers.  I am just a bit mystified. 

Welcome to NYC! We do have a number of really good massage providers….but also some that are very flakey. Reach out to the NYC knowledgeable guys here on the forum if you need recommendations. Over the years I have had great recommendations from members like @cany10011 @manmed and @EVdude.  They are rockstars! 🕺

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On 9/10/2022 at 10:04 AM, FrankR said:

Welcome to NYC! We do have a number of really good massage providers….but also some that are very flakey. Reach out to the NYC knowledgeable guys here on the forum if you need recommendations. Over the years I have had great recommendations from members like @cany10011 @manmed and @EVdude.  They are rockstars! 🕺

Thank you!  Well I feel like I need to repent in dust and ashes. I did have a session with Pasha yesterday (he broke my streak and was a very prompt responder) and it was total perfection if there is such a thing in massage-world. https://rentmasseur.com/PashaNYC

 

 

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I haven't had that exact thing happen, but I did get ghosted one time and I thought it was odd.  I had seen this masseur before and I had booked a 4-hand massage with him and his partner.  I arrived for the massage and knocked and no-one answered.  There were cars in the driveway of the house.  I texted and he finally replied that he had to go out of town at the last minute for a family emergency.  OK.  I can give the benefit of the doubt, but he was still listed as Available on MF.  I messaged him that and he said it was an error, and he tried to go in and fix it. It went down, but went back up a bit later.  I hate that because this was the most relaxing massage I've had thus far.  

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37 minutes ago, questbear said:

I haven't had that exact thing happen, but I did get ghosted one time and I thought it was odd.  I had seen this masseur before and I had booked a 4-hand massage with him and his partner.  I arrived for the massage and knocked and no-one answered.  There were cars in the driveway of the house.  I texted and he finally replied that he had to go out of town at the last minute for a family emergency.  OK.  I can give the benefit of the doubt, but he was still listed as Available on MF.  I messaged him that and he said it was an error, and he tried to go in and fix it. It went down, but went back up a bit later.  I hate that because this was the most relaxing massage I've had thus far.  

Thank you for sharing this story.  I’m sorry that happened to you . One would think that he could have at least let you know about the emergency in advance even if last minute.  It seems like common courtesy.  Also a bit suspicious that there were cars in the driveway. I once had a masseur confirm an appointment date time with me saying he would confirm his location on the day of.  When that day and time came, I texted him and there was no response, message, or apology afterwards. I did a little internet sleuthing and found him on IG where he was at the beach with his BF. haha. I think some of these guys massage for sport and extra cash and really don’t ever think about the world of their clients.

Edited by Kody S
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Funny I just posted today. I honestly miss back p. I had way better luck finding providers and then confirming. 

With the main sites now it seems many of them do this as a side gig if and when they feel like making cash. 

One provider in my market has recently resurfaced and I think it is because he needs cash. I saw him several years ago and he was a solid 3.5 out of 5. I then went to him when he popped back up after a 3 year hiatus. 

He has become a solid 2 out of 5. You can tell he is not into it and he even told me he just got back into for extra money. 

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45 minutes ago, Massageguy99 said:

Funny I just posted today. I honestly miss back p. I had way better luck finding providers and then confirming. 

With the main sites now it seems many of them do this as a side gig if and when they feel like making cash. 

One provider in my market has recently resurfaced and I think it is because he needs cash. I saw him several years ago and he was a solid 3.5 out of 5. I then went to him when he popped back up after a 3 year hiatus. 

He has become a solid 2 out of 5. You can tell he is not into it and he even told me he just got back into for extra money. 

Yeah I hear you, and it’s our cash they are messing with.  If they want cash they need to really earn it. Life is too short to be paying for 2/5. 

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I’m with the OP on this one. It’s incredibly frustrating. 
I just had a masseur do it to me. He reached out to me saying he’s back in town (I had hired him once before so he had my number). So he’s marketing to me. Told him I definitely would be hiring and would get back to him. When I reached out to make an appointment, no response. No response at all. WTF?

It’s very strange to me these guys do this. 
 

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I've experienced most everything that's been discussed -- no response at all; at least 2 masseurs cancelling an appointment and asking me to reschedule, then ghosting me when I tried to do so; a traveling masseur telling me he's completely booked while in town but not offering to put me on a "callback" list or at least suggesting that I check back with him in case of cancellation. However, I don't think that I've ever been stood up at the door. Sorry that happened to you, Questbear!

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17 minutes ago, BigNoiseDallas said:

I've experienced most everything that's been discussed -- no response at all; at least 2 masseurs cancelling an appointment and asking me to reschedule, then ghosting me when I tried to do so; a traveling masseur telling me he's completely booked while in town but not offering to put me on a "callback" list or at least suggesting that I check back with him in case of cancellation. However, I don't think that I've ever been stood up at the door. Sorry that happened to you, Questbear!

Forgot to mention the oddest one (I've discussed in this forum before): 2 different local masseurs have blocked me from seeing their profile on Rentmasseur. I never interacted with them nor reached out to schedule -- just looked at their profiles a few times before deciding they weren't for me. Maybe they were annoyed that I was window shopping and not buying? They are both advertise on other sites so I could schedule there, but not inclined to do so (even though both have pretty good reviews). Has anyone else experienced this?

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7 hours ago, Cruiser7 said:

I’m with the OP on this one. It’s incredibly frustrating. 
I just had a masseur do it to me. He reached out to me saying he’s back in town (I had hired him once before so he had my number). So he’s marketing to me. Told him I definitely would be hiring and would get back to him. When I reached out to make an appointment, no response. No response at all. WTF?

It’s very strange to me these guys do this. 
 

Man I hear you.  It just doesn’t add—especially when they reach out to you and then nothing. If all of this were on a volunteer basis that would be one thing, but then it is a transaction for a service that involves money and time for both provider and client it is a different world (in my book, I realize others may not see it this way). I do not expect a provider to always want me as a client and they have every right to say no.  What I get frustrated with is the lack of communication when commercially one does have the expectation to either be accepted or denied.  I’m ok if a provider doesn’t want to take me as a client and just says so, even without a reason… but ghosting, no.  It’s unprofessional.

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On 9/12/2022 at 11:57 AM, BigNoiseDallas said:

Forgot to mention the oddest one (I've discussed in this forum before): 2 different local masseurs have blocked me from seeing their profile on Rentmasseur. I never interacted with them nor reached out to schedule -- just looked at their profiles a few times before deciding they weren't for me. Maybe they were annoyed that I was window shopping and not buying? They are both advertise on other sites so I could schedule there, but not inclined to do so (even though both have pretty good reviews). Has anyone else experienced this?

Same here on blocking. First time I've ever experienced it. Yes, I had been looking at this masseurs photos for a while. Given I have a couple of solid regulars, it's a very short list of masseurs I would consider outside my regulars. Actually, I was at the point to making a reservation but then the blocking is very off-putting. I'm not sure how me looking at a providers photos is an issue. Assuming that's the issue. 

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I just had a different/ maybe more annoying experience. Late the other night I made an appt with someone for the following afternoon - and as I was heading down the subway steps he texted to cancel because I hadn’t confirmed that day. I mean, I’d made the appt 12 hours before. If you need a different type of conformation you should probably tell potential clients. On the hunt for a new regular and he and I have mutual friends who said he was sweet and amazing so I had high hopes. 

 

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9 hours ago, cj2001 said:
I just had a different/ maybe more annoying experience. Late the other night I made an appt with someone for the following afternoon - and as I was heading down the subway steps he texted to cancel because I hadn’t confirmed that day. I mean, I’d made the appt 12 hours before. If you need a different type of conformation you should probably tell potential clients. On the hunt for a new regular and he and I have mutual friends who said he was sweet and amazing so I had high hopes. 

 

That is super frustrating especially when you just made the appointment. That guy sounds like he just wanted to do something else that day but didn’t want to say that and so used a lame excuse about “not confirming.” Who knows? I’m sorry that happened to you. I’ve had providers cancel on me last minute for reasons I felt (knew?) were bogus but I could not prove it and so didn’t want to risk falsely accusing someone. 

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Problem is, some guys on MF and most on RM are not there for a customer-centric approach. I have experienced same as OP and observed that most of the men who do this are the ones who you know are just not real massage therapists, they are simply goodlooking guys who know it and so they play hard to get. If they’re free and in need of extra money, then they respond. I feel like in their head they know someone will ALWAYS reach out anyway so no point taking care of a customer or responding to a potential one if they are not “in the mood.”

I understand things may happen. But yeah it sucks and if the masseurs don’t even respond to me even hours or a day later with “apologies for the late reply” or something, he gets instantly blacklisted.

———


Just one funny story, I once reached out to a masseur and didn’t hear back from him for maybe 10 hours! So I sent him another text later in the day with my photo in it. A simple decent selfie, nothing crazy, but just to show him how I looked like. And I said “Not sure if my message earlier got through? So i’m resending it again. (Original message here). And this is me by the way, attaching a photo. :) “

And not even two minutes after that, he responded. He did NOT say sorry about not responding to my first message, he just complimented my “nice photo!” And he got all his questions ready about the time I wana get the massage and how long of a session I wanted to book. And he even added “I can host now if you were looking for a massage soon.” I ghosted him. He texted again one hour later asking if I still wanted to get a massage. I just said “no sorry something came up.” And in hindisght I should have not responded to his other message either. He was quick in responding saying bummer and to reach out to him again anytime if I wana book him. LOL! 

Next day he texted me again to ask if I still wanted to get a massage. And I again, I ghosted him. You do not deserve my business boy.

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