Several Questions (Regarding Preparation, Etiquette, et...

[guptasa1]

Hey all,

 

I'm a client who's fairly new to the world of escorting, and I must say for someone like me (23, decent looking and working on getting in shape but not quite there yet, but very shy and nervous socially), you guys offer a fantastic service, and I'm grateful I'm fortunate enough to do it occasionally, at least for now. Sometimes people just need to feel loved a little bit, you know, and I must say the escorts I've gotten the pleasure to be with so far have been some of the most intelligent and most caring people I've ever met (and I truly don't think it's something one can fake). Anyways, because I'm new to this, I'm trying to always improve how things go each time, so I have some questions for all you escorts (or clients) out there.

 

1. The first has to do with anal cleanliness, and my apologies in advance if this is a somewhat delicate subject. I'd really like some tips on how to best go about making sure I'm clean to get fucked (or rimmed, but I have dental dams for anything deep). I recently had a session with someone, and to prepare, the morning of the appointment I used a regular Fleet enema to wash out. I then immediately used it again, this time with cold water (3x before evacuating), and then finally one more time (only 1x before evacuating that time). I had assumed this would be enough to keep me cleaned out, but I get *VERY* nervous before meeting an escort, and that translated to some stomach issues where during the time before the meeting (I drove a couple hours and met him at the airport several hours after my enema routine), I had to visit the restroom a few times. I had planned to use a water enema again to wash out in the hotel room before meeting him at the airport, but a combination of a switch to an earlier flight for him and the hotel's computers going down preventing me from checking in before I met him didn't allow me to do this. However, I assumed things would be fine and really was a bit shy to use a water enema again after he arrived. It turned out things went fairly well and it wasn't terrible (and of course a condom and lube was used), but it wasn't as clean as I would have liked things to be. I do think that the anxiety I was feeling before meeting had a LOT to do with this, and I think the next time we meet will be a lot better because of that, but I'd still like to hear A) how escorts generally assure they're clean inside and B) what you would have liked your client to do in this situation. I asked my escort briefly about this, and he mentioned enemas worked best right before the intercourse (and although I didn't top him this time out, suggested that if I did, he would want to clean out first), so if I had to do it over again, I guess I would simply tell him I needed to freshen up before the intercourse happened. I'm grateful this wasn't really a problem this time out, but I'd really like to improve my regimen further for next time so it's even better, so any suggestions here would be helpful (best types of enemas to use, when to use them, how to tell the escort politely, etc.).

 

2. This question has to do with shaving. Right now I use a Mach 3 Turbo as I find it shaves the best of anything I've found, but I still manage to nick myself sometimes, and, oddly enough, I always get my most severe nicks when I'm trying especially hard to be careful (nervousness again? lol). Anyways, just wondering if there's any trick you guys use to shave (to either avoid nicks...or a different method/type of shaving) since for this last experience I did have a few I wished I could have avoided. I used some of that new Band Aid liquid bandage stuff, which works surprisingly well (like a coating of plastic over the wound so it doesn't bleed anymore). I did start bleeding from a nick on my lower lip once during the visit, but he told me about it and didn't seem concerned (well, moreso about me nicking myself than any danger - heh) and I fixed it up (it wasn't near the inside of my mouth or anything, but I was embarassed about it all the same). Anyways, I know this one's a stretch, but thought I'd ask.

 

3. Same session - different question. To be honest, this didn't even occur to me until AFTER the appointment, at which point I felt a little bad about it. After my escort arrived, we had a very late (almost dinner-time) lunch, and then at night we had some hot room-service food while we watched a movie in the room (snack stuff, but it worked as dinner for me, and I assume it did for him). He had a morning flight the next morning and never mentioned breakfast, and I had never even thought of it truthfully. Should I have made sure we got up early and gotten breakfast or ordered it to the room (I discovered one of those flyers where you can check off breakfast delivery options and leave it outside on the door, but that was the next morning when I was cleaning up the room to leave)? He never mentioned breakfast at all, and as I said, it never even occurred to me until after I dropped him off at the airport (I didn't end up getting any either, which didn't bother me, but I hope he was okay with it too and hope he was able to at his layover if he wanted some - I'm just concerned because I hope he didn't think I was rude for not offering; I certainly would have had it occurred to me - I hope he would have asked the night before if he wanted some).

 

4. Finally, just curious how most escorts feel with a nervous or anxious client? To be honest, I'm not used to being around a lot of people, much less intimate with them, and while I do alright (better than I think I'm going to - lol), I feel like I sometimes come off as dumber than I actually am simply because I'm so friggin' tense and nervous all the time! It does get better as the appointment goes on (and I'm sure is quite a bit better the second time I meet someone, though I haven't done this yet), but I'm wondering what an escort's take on a nervous client like myself is. LOL. I feel bad if I come off as unintelligent sometimes simply because I'm so socially awkward at times.

 

Thanks all for your time. Sorry this was a rather lengthy post, but this is a really cool resource. I hope I'm not making the experience I had sound awful - it was actually really great; I'm just looking at all the things I'd like to do better next time to make it even better - a continuous improvement kind of thing. I know I really appreciate all the trouble escorts go through to get ready for me and make me feel special, and I just want to return the favor as much as possible.

 

Thanks again,

Shaun

[Guest fukamarine]

>I feel like sometimes come off as dumber than I actually am simply

>because I'm so friggin' tense and nervous all the time!

 

I wouldn't worry about that - I think it would be an impossibility!

 

How does someone as neurotic as you get through a day?

 

fukamarine

[Bilbo]

Dear Shaun,

 

It is my understanding that you can actually make yourself sick with all of those enemas. I wouldn't ever suggest that you take one with chemicals in it unless you are sick and getting your body well somehow depends upon it. A simple water enema just before the event, and only one of them, would be best IMHO. You can wipe out important flora and fauna in your rectum by attacking their home too often.

 

Escorts are used to nervous people. The good ones will calm you down enough to have a great time, which yours did. You will, of course, enjoy your experience even more the next time as you will be relaxing into it even more. And almost all of the nervous people I've ever met have come off sounding a bit less intelligent, at least to themselves, than they really are. Many good escorts, especially the more experienced ones, will know to look past that. Don't you? I mean when someone is new to your group and comes off a bit gunga? Well, we're the same way.

 

One should be able to expect anyone who can to express hunger when they need to. This is one reason why my pets last many years and my plants are lucky if they make it through one or two. A simple, "Hey! I'm thirsty over here!" would have saved many of them. Alas, no! It was not meant to be. However, your escort was quite capable of saying something if he was hungry and thought that you both had time to do something about it together.

 

Laughter is the best medicene, even for nerves. I hope you hear me laughing with you instead of at you.

 

Love, Bilbo / Blade of Houston

[guptasa1]

Hi Bilbo!

 

Thanks for the kind and thoughtful response. I'll rethink the enemas and try to stick to water from now on. (I think they also have mineral oil enemas that are unmedicated - not sure if that would be even better?). Anyways, I see your point and don't want to damage myself, so I guess from now on I'll just wait and ask to go ahead and use a water one right before we get down to it. I'd still prefer a more discreet option if one exists, but if this is the best way to go about it, it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

I think it was pretty clear to him I was nervous, and you're right - he did calm me down a great deal - he was really incredibly sweet about it, which I really appreciated. (I tend to be pretty submissive anyways, so I guess that's a part of it in a strange way). But I'm glad to hear it's expected and like anything else can be seen through. I do see your point - in another scenario with someone else, it wouldn't bother me if the other party seemed nervous and awkward, so I shouldn't assume it would bother my escort if I am. And as you said, it should only get better if there are repeat sessions and such.

 

Thanks for the reassurance as to the whole breakfast thing. I felt the same way, but I just worried about it afterward because I thought maybe I should have offered and didn't think to. LOL. I guess I do worry too much, but I do try to do things right because I want the escort to have a good time too.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Fukamarine, I'm not sure if your comment was meant to be a flame or if I'm just misreading it (my apologies if it is indeed the latter), but I'll admit I'm a bit neurotic...though I maintain that doesn't make me unintelligent. Like anybody else, I have things I'm good at and things I'm not so good at, and it just so happens I never developed great social skills (perhaps partially due to my upbringing/childhood - I really don't know). I do get really nervous, awkward, and self-concious when presented with situations other people wouldn't have much of a problem with (for example, driving the escort from the airport...kept freaking out that I might mess up or something) - just the way I am. My choices are either work on dealing with it or try to get medicated for it, and since I'm not particularly thrilled with the medication options (most have a lot of side effects, including sexual ones...and I just don't want to deal with these at 23), I'm trying to deal with it. In fact, I'm hoping an occasional date with an escort will help a little with this - you'd be surprised how much spending time with someone who makes you feel a little special or believed in helps.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Anyways, appreciate the responses and the time taken to read my post! Thanks.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Agree To Disagree

 

Some of your questions have been discussed before on the board. There are some more helpful threads but this is the only one I could find after some searching. As you get comfortable with the search function on this site, you will find that some of your questions have been answered and that some questions you have not yet thought have also been asked and answered:

 

http://babydb.male4malescorts.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=5&topic_id=3531&mesg_id=3531&listing_type=search

 

With regard to enema, I would agree with Bilbo that you should pour the chemicals out of the enema except that I would advise the use of lightly luke warm water, neither hot nor cold. I would totally disagree with him as to use, as well as to the escort you saw, and use the enema until the water runs clear. One use is certainly not enough.

 

As for your other questions, breakfast would be nice but is not always possible depending on circumstances and mutual schedules. As you will find on many other threads, the best thing to do is to communicate with your escort and to both feel comfortable to discuss this and all other issues with him and vice versa.

 

This trust and comfort would apply to your other questions as well. Simply ask. As for doing a "touch up" while both of you were in the hotel room, this would be my suggestion. There are several other things you can try, I would suggest you look at some web sites and some reading material to advise you in this regard.

[Guest Love Bubble Butt]

Not nice.

 

Curious, why did you feel the need to respond that way? It was a post from a kid who posted a very heartfelt message asking for help and advice? Just what was the point of your response? To make him feel like shit or to make yourself feel superior? Or both?

 

Save the flaming for someone who attackes you first or otherwise deserves it (e.g., someone celebrating the death of an astronaut).

[Guest fukamarine]

>Fukamarine, I'm not sure if your comment was meant to be a

>flame or if I'm just misreading it (my apologies if it is

>indeed the latter), but I'll admit I'm a bit neurotic...

 

Well - I'm not sure if I meant it as a "flame" exactly, but I do admit that I was being intentionally sarcastic!

 

You sounded neurotic and you admit that you are a "bit". Perhaps I would question the "bit" part, but as I don't know you, I could be wrong.

 

All I was really trying to say was - lighten up!

 

I would guess that you tend to analyze everything to death. Life for you would be much simpler if you didn't over-analyze and accepted things as they are. In other words, just go with the flow.

 

fukamarine

[Guest Merlin]

About shaving. You are right, it seems we are more likely to nick ourselves when it will be the most inconvenient. So, don't use a brand new blade. Use one that you have used once before, and it will be less likely to cause a serious nick. I shave two hours before a meeting, so if I nick myself, small nicks will stop bleeding and disappear before the time comes. Go over you face first with an electric razor and the wiskers will be short to begin with, and the shave easier. But if it is a real problem, buy a very good electric razor, such as Braun, and it will get you almost as smooth as a blade, without nicking. As for the nervousness, remember that part of it is simply the excitement of anticipating the fun you are going to have being with this hot guy. Sort of like a kids excitement before opening his Christmas presents. So, recognize it as the anticipation of a great time, and you will come to realize that anticipation is part of the fun and enjoy it as such. Re the enemas, you can buy a plastic bulb at the drug store for enemas. Use it over and over (keep it clean, of course). The problem with Fleet enemas is that they have a chemical which is designed to stimulate the bowel like a laxative. Better to use plain water to just get clean.

[Bilbo]

RE: Second Teenhood

 

Since you are rather young, you might not have come upon this idea before, but it's been pretty well accepted for a long time in the gay community. And it may be changing a bit what with the sucesses of gay rights activism. It goes like this:

 

Do not be surprised that you have some problems with your social arts, particularly dealing with dates. Hetero people have the same problem when they are starting to date. It happens when they are teens and everyone expects it to happen. Even in the best of cases, it seems that it can last 3 - 4 years? Never having had children nor taught high school, I am basing my knowledge here on sitcoms and newpaper articles. Now, when you were a teenager, you probably weren't allowed, or wouldn't allow yourself, whatever, to date other gay men openly. So now you are learning the same things you would have learned then, and, hopefully, at about the same speed. Don't rush it! Enjoy your second teenhood.

[guptasa1]

Thank you all for the helpful information! I do appreciate the generally warm, supportive, and kind responses I've received!

 

I used the search briefly before my initial post, but thanks for the link about rimming and anal cleanliness - hadn't found that before, and it's some good information. From now on I'll stick to mostly water and make sure I'm flushed out (but not overdo it with chemicals or anything dangerous). I have some empty Fleet bottles that should work fine for now. I already try to keep extra clean in the shower, but that link had some interesting ideas such as the shampoo that I didn't think to try (I use soap now).

 

As to the shaving, I've tried electric razors in the past (though never a Braun - last one I had was a Norelco), and although they work okay, I've never been really pleased by them. For me, a Mach 3 Turbo seems to work much better (I have pretty course hair). Someone suggested in an e-mail a thicker shaving cream, so that might help. I also shave my chest and nether regions, and I find the Mach 3 Turbo also works best there (and surprising as it is, I actually seem to nick my face a lot more than, say, my balls...lol).

 

As for the second teenhood idea, for me this is more like a first teenhood, but it certainly applies. LOL. I guess I just never really "sewed my oats" so to speak in high school or college (really religious upbringing/schooling), and I've always been a late bloomer (didn't definitively realize I was gay until I was 19), so I guess I just got to this point later than a lot of people. It's not a problem...it's just a little awkward when I meet a younger escort who's sooo much more confident and sure of himself than I am - lol.

 

As to the overanalyzing thing, fukamarine, you're indeed correct - I do overanalyze everything, and I do need to lighten up, but that's tougher for some people than others, so I do the best I can. =oP I'm doing better, though, if you can believe that. LOL. Overanalyzing isn't always a bad thing - it at least means I'm detail-oriented, which is good in some circumstances. I just need to learn to let it go sometimes when I need to as well.

 

Anyways, thanks again everyone for everything!

[Guest fukamarine]

>Not nice.

>

>Curious, why did you feel the need to respond that way?

 

Read my second post where I answered him directly - that should explain where I was coming from.

 

>It was a post from a kid who posted a very heartfelt message

>asking for help and advice?

 

He claims he is 23 - not excatly a "kid" in my books. Some guys are married with kids in grade school by that age.

 

>Just what was the point of your response? To make him feel like shit or to make yourself feel superior? Or both?

 

Neither - His rambling irritated me - call my response "tough love"

and it is somewhat similar to what I said to Jackhammer when he first began posting - and look what a fab fag he has turned out to be - going to Brazil and all!

>

>Save the flaming for someone who attackes you first or

>otherwise deserves it (e.g., someone celebrating the death of

>an astronaut).

 

Don't get all bent out of shape BB - You seem to have a harder time with it than he does.

 

fukamarine

[guptasa1]

Just for the record, I really appreciated BB's support, and while you may call it "tough love" and I'm sorry my rambling irritated you, that's how I express myself and I make no apologies for it. I tend to be longwinded sometimes, but I also tend to be thorough. It's who I am, and I see nothing wrong with it. We all have quirks.

 

Yes, I'm 23, but even I still consider myself a kid - it takes some of us a little while longer to figure things out than others, especially when you aren't the best guy out there socially.

 

Anyways, this isn't a flame, but I just wanted to let BB know I appreciated his post, and while I'm sorry you didn't like my post, fukamarine, I really don't think I said or did anything wrong - that's just my writing style.

[bigguyinpasadena]

Gustapsa,YOU HAVE NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE!!!!

fucagyrine is being his usual asswipe self.He is a pathetic loser who ponces on newbies or reg's in "weak"moments.Hepounced on me on my first post with the same fucked up attitude.

Shame on you fukajarhead-you are soooo pathetic.

[VaHawk]

RE: Several Questions (Regarding Preparation, Etiquette...

 

>Neither - His rambling irritated me - call my response "tough

>love"

>and it is somewhat similar to what I said to Jackhammer when

>he first began posting - and look what a fab fag he has turned

>out to be - going to Brazil and all!

 

What a laugh! Just admit that you were being your usual pissy self. If you aren't honest with yourself, then you're most likely not honest with much of anything else. Now that you are the resident miracle worker ala Jackhammer, you must perform at least one more miracle in order for the pope to make you the next beatification receipient....St. Fukamarine does have a nice ring to it!

 

 

>Don't get all bent out of shape BB - You seem to have a harder

>time with it than he does.

 

That's because LBB has been here long enough to know you, whereas this poor rookie poster hasn't.

 

P.S. I'll light a candle to you tonight and ask for your blessings.

[Guest fukamarine]

>Gustapsa,YOU HAVE NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE!!!!

>fucagyrine is being his usual asswipe self.He is a pathetic

>loser who ponces on newbies or reg's in

>"weak"moments.Hepounced on me on my first post with the same

>fucked up attitude.

 

Strange that you would remember that I "pounced" on you on your first post. I sure as hell don't. But as it didn't scare you away then I must have done something right.

 

>Shame on you fukajarhead-you are soooo pathetic.

 

To each his own. And..... did you really think up all those cute nicknames (fucagyrine & fukajarhead) ALL BY YOURSELF? Your intellect simply underwhelms me. A Rhodes scholar no doubt!

 

fukamarine

[Guest fukamarine]

RE: Several Questions (Regarding Preparation, Etiquette...

 

>>Neither - His rambling irritated me - call my response

>"tough

>>love"

>>and it is somewhat similar to what I said to Jackhammer when

>>he first began posting - and look what a fab fag he has

>turned

>>out to be - going to Brazil and all!

>

>What a laugh! Just admit that you were being your usual pissy

>self.

 

I'm only "pissy" when someone pisses me off! And you're treading dangerously close to the line. I expect that gets you all worried, right?

 

?If you aren't honest with yourself, then you're most

>likely not honest with much of anything else. Now that you

>are the resident miracle worker ala Jackhammer,

 

I never meant to claim any credit for that - I'm sure Jackhammer did it all on his own.

 

>you must perform at least one more miracle in order for the pope to

>make you the next beatification receipient....St. Fukamarine

>does have a nice ring to it!

 

Not being a Catholic, Sainthood has no attraction for me. So don't waste your time lobbying on my behalf.

 

>>Don't get all bent out of shape BB - You seem to have a harder time >>with it than he does.

 

>That's because LBB has been here long enough to know you,

>whereas this poor rookie poster hasn't.

 

And what does this have to do with the price of eggs?

 

fukamarine

[Guest fukamarine]

>Yes, I'm 23, but even I still consider myself a kid -

 

If you still consider yourself a kid at 23 - what the hell do you do for a living? Flip burgers at McDonalds? My advice is to never let your boss hear your own description of you.

 

>it takes some of us a little while longer to figure things out than

>others, especially when you aren't the best guy out there

>socially.

 

Ever try to analyze why your aren't?

 

>Anyways, this isn't a flame, but I just wanted to let BB know

>I appreciated his post, and while I'm sorry you didn't like my

>post, fukamarine, I really don't think I said or did anything

>wrong - that's just my writing style.

 

OK - you're entitled to any writing style you want.

 

fukamarine

 

 

 

fukamarine

[guptasa1]

>If you still consider yourself a kid at 23 - what the hell do

>you do for a living? Flip burgers at McDonalds? My advice is

>to never let your boss hear your own description of you.

 

Not that it's really any of your business, but I just recently graduated college with a B.S. in Business and haven't figured out my final career plans yet. I may even consider taking a few more courses that interest me (perhaps in social work) and pursue something in that field instead. I'm still figuring it all out and working on myself in the process. Not that there's anything wrong with someone who works at McDonald's - hey, it's a job, and there's not a thing wrong with it.

 

As far as my description of myself, considering myself a "kid" has NOTHING to do with how responsible I am or the quality of work I can do...it's just how I see myself (and it's not something I would bring up in front of a boss, nor would I likely bring up my sexuality unless it specifically came up in conversation). Frankly, I don't mind being a "kid" for the rest of my life...I've never really cared all that much about being a big, strong, strapping man - a boy suits me just fine thank you very much. lol. Not everybody sees things the same way you do.

 

>Ever try to analyze why your aren't?

 

Of course I have - it'd be ridiculous not to, and I'm not too shabby at psychology, so I have some pretty good ideas why I'm so anxious and not comfortable in social situations. Even if one can uncover the root cause to a problem, however, it doesn't mean he can just snap his fingers and fix it.

 

>OK - you're entitled to any writing style you want.

 

Yes, I certainly am.

[guptasa1]

BTW, appreciate the supportive comments from all.

 

I had NO intentions to start anything with the original post (though I'd assume that's pretty clear - I hope so).

[duke37]

RE: Several Questions (Regarding Preparation, Etiquette...

 

Hey Shaun,

 

I understand what you mean by being a kid at 23. In a lot of ways most of the men here if they met you in the real world would think of you as still kind of a kid. I think they would quickly learn otherwise but thats the facts of life. smile

 

If I may be so bold, you might find some professional help goes a long way to help you get over feelings of awkwardness in a social settings. I assume you have gotten such advice before but I just wanted to reiterate how valuable such help can be. And you would probably see positive results very shortly. Although I get the sense from your posts that you are probably already noticing positive growth.

 

Exploring your sexuality with an escort is quite a step. Like some of the other posts here have said, we don't have the years of adolescent dating as gay men. So it's no big surprise you feel nervous about it. Heck, thats normal. There is some good advice here on this thread. Take what seems right to you and ignore the rest. We won't mind really. grin But in any case try and enjoy your time with an escort. It's their job and they're rightly proud of being good at it. Relax and take advantage of their expertise. When you feel comfortable asking for what you want sexually it makes their job easier. Let them know your concerns. Every good escort I have heard of is able to handly anything you throw at them.

 

And perhaps, if its not going on already, you can take the lessons learned and some newfound confidence to getting to know the great men that are all around you. I know with an almost philosophical certainty that there are great guys that are going to want to meet you. When you are ready they'll be there. Hmm dating, now thats anxiety producing.

 

In any case good luck and welcome to our little bit of heaven.

 

Jeff

[guptasa1]

RE: Several Questions (Regarding Preparation, Etiquette...

 

Thanks for the friendly and helpful post!

 

As far as professional help, the only time (well, aside from when I was too young to really remember) I've done that, it was with a rather religious therapist, so obviously that didn't go over too well. I'm in a very small (and generally religious and closed-minded) town at the moment, so I'm not really comfortable in seeking help here, though I may consider it in the future when I'm somewhere else - couldn't hurt, and truth be told, I could probably use some if it's the right kind, but I do have trouble trusting people who want to get into my head. LOL.

 

Yes, I agree exploring myself and my sexuality with an escort is a very positive thing for me, and I feel more comfortable and at ease each time...it's just I still have a ways to go. It actually took me quite a while to get to the point where I was brave enough to finally even do this, and it has been overall very positive and helpful to me. I was depressed for a period of time, and I find having something like this to look forward to REALLY helps.

 

As far as dating, I did have a boyfriend a while back and we were together almost two years (it was long-distance, but we did visit each other). Because I'm in a very rural area and the nearest major city is 4 hours away, I don't really have the opportunity to date as much as I'd like, but I do have a profile on a few dating services and I have very occasionally visited clubs (though because of the social awkwardness, I haven't been really comfortable there up to this point...but at least I gave it a shot a few times when I did happen to be in a city...and it was a fairly good experience for me). At any rate, I'm certainly open to dating...in fact, I'd prefer dating...it's just hard to meet guys where I am. (And no, I don't plan to be here forever, but I need to be here for the time being...hopefully that'll change within the next several months.)

 

Anyways, thanks again for the post!

Shaun

[Guest niceguy]

RE: Several Questions (Regarding Preparation, Etiquette...

 

Shaun

 

I think you sound like a great guy; a very detailed host that I would assume any escort would really appreciate. It seems you are interested in both you and your escort having the best time. I for one am charmed by your honesty and sincerety.

 

Niceguy

[guptasa1]

RE: Several Questions (Regarding Preparation, Etiquette...

 

>Shaun

>

>I think you sound like a great guy; a very detailed host that

>I would assume any escort would really appreciate. It seems

>you are interested in both you and your escort having the best

>time. I for one am charmed by your honesty and sincerety.

>

>Niceguy

 

Awww, thanks for the compliment! I do try to make a good time for us both. Personally, I don't even think I'd have any fun if I knew he wasn't having a good time too, and I just try to treat it as much as possible like a date.