Late without calling

[Guest hiringhairy]

I recently arranged a second meet with a guy (after a very positive first experience)and he ended up being an hour late without a call. This was after an earlier confirmation call in which he asked to arrive 30 minutes early. When I (nicely) asked him about the lateness, he said he had traffic and got lost, though later something he said made me think he might have stopped for a drink. He suggested I could have called him on his cell phone to see what was going on. We had a nice time but I feel a bit disrespected. I feel like this was not exactly "premium" customer service. I probably won't call him again. Am I being too harsh ? He's youngish and new to the business but is supposedly being mentored by an experienced person.

[Guest Merlin]

In my experience, arriving late is the rule rather than the exception. Perhaps one in three arrive on time. Yes, it is unprofessional, disresptful, frustrating, etc, etc. But it is not likely to change. I suggest that you anticipate that escorts will be late and it will be a little less frustrating.

[KY_TOP]

I'm not an Escort but my 2 cents worth anyway. You mentioned you politely asked why he was late but, you did not mention that you communicated to him that you were upset that he was late.I'd suggest that you communicate to him (e-mail if your uncomfortable by phone) how you feel about him being that late and how disrespectful and unprofessional you think it is. His reply would probably dictate whether I saw him again, if I were you.

 

I met an Escort, while traveling, that I enjoyed sexually but he seemed very rushed and left a little early. I responded to his "Thanks for seeing me" e-mail that I appreciated his e-mail but that I felt a little rushed. He replied very professionally with a long apology and explanation as to how I might have gotten that impression. Even though I don't get to that city often, I did not expect to hire him again if I did. After his explanation e-mail and very professional followup e-mail's I've changed my mind and look forward to meeting him again.

[VaHawk]

Well, EXCUSE ME!! but this is such great advice that it deserves at LEAST a nickel, don't you think? No wonder some of those escorts want to vote for you as Cover Client of the Year.

 

You really are so fair minded, open and honest and your contributions are a boon to both the escorts and clients who visit this site.

 

Now, am I going to run into you next weekend in Montreal? I hope so!

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

An Escort Answers

 

>In my experience, arriving late is the rule rather than the

>exception. Perhaps one in three arrive on time.

 

Like any number of these questions, the better answer is always "it depends" and "can you provide more information." In Los Angeles, clients tell me "It is 25 minutes from West Hollywood" and it has taken me 45 minutes. If the escort lives in your hometown and 90 minutes would seem to you to be an inappropriate length of time to take to travel from point A to point B, then yes, you were disrespected, possibly because it was a repeat engagement and he may have felt he could have taken advantage of the situation. However, this is simply a guess, as any other answers provided herein are. If you were meeting at a different location than you first meeting and the possibility of misunderstood directions exists, some latitude is appropriate. The question is how much.

 

In my experience, to say that most escorts will arrive late is the exception rather than the rule is harsh. If you lived in Los Angeles, some latitude should be taken into account, or in a comparable city where traffic is an issue, but no one in West Hollywood, where I can walk to any address in less then 20 minutes, should accept tardiness from any West Hollywood based escort without a phone call or a comment upon meeting. No client should have to inquire as to the tardiness of an escort, the explanation should be provided to the client without prompting.

 

Unfortunately, some medical offices and other "professionals" have inured us to anticipate that a noon appointment may actually begin anytime between 12:15 and 1:00 p.m. but this does show a lack of respect for the value of our time, our schedules and a fundamental ability to plan and schedule a work day appropriately.

[KY_TOP]

>

>Now, am I going to run into you next weekend in Montreal? I

>hope so!

 

Absolutely, can't wait to get back to Montreal and holding you to Dinner on my birthday. Also, hope to bump into Marc Anthony there this weekend. We'll know were he'll be.

[woodlawn]

>In my experience, arriving late is the rule rather than the

>exception. Perhaps one in three arrive on time. Yes, it is

>unprofessional, disresptful, frustrating, etc, etc. But it is

>not likely to change. I suggest that you anticipate that

>escorts will be late and it will be a little less

>frustrating.

 

I agree completely.

 

When you make an appointment with a physician, the time when he will actually be available to see you depends on the amount of time he needs to spend with previous patients, which is extremely difficult to estimate. When you make an appointment with someone who charges for "time only," however, it ought to be possible for him to estimate the duration of any previous client appointments with great precision -- which is why it makes no sense to compare the two. The comparison makes even less sense when the escort has no other client appointments that day.

 

A few of the escorts I have met seem very well organized. Most are exactly the opposite.

[+ Charlie]

I wonder how he would have responded if you had been going to him, and you arrived an hour late without calling. I suspect he would have felt that you had wasted his time and possibly disrupted his working schedule. Well, your time is probably just as valuable as his, and in your place I would have told him so (but then, I'm an anal compulsive about punctuality, so maybe it's my problem).

[alanalt]

>In my experience, arriving late is the rule rather than the

>exception. Perhaps one in three arrive on time.

 

I think an important distinction has to be made between 'running behind' (i.e. 10-20 minutes late) and being late on the order described by the initial post. I would say that, in my experience, maybe one-in-three escorts have arrived behind schedule, but only one was really late (90 minutes) and in that case he had a good explanation and phoned me twice to keep me posted.

 

Yes, if what you describe had happened to me, I'd be a bit disturbed as well, although more by the response that you should have contacted him by cell (if he had his cell, it was his obligation to inform you as his client IMHO). To me that implies a certain lack of respect for his client that good escorts don't show.

 

Anyhow that's my (non-escort) 2 cents!:-)

 

Alan

[Guest hiringhairy]

I thought I'd update on my decision this situation. I decided to not call this guy again. I don't feel it's my responsibility to teach him business or personal etiquette. Nor was it my responsibility to track him down by phone when he was late. I also feel being timely is a sign of respect and personal accountability.

 

I earn about roughly 1/4 per hour than what I paid him (luckily I work a lot more hours than he does) and I can't recall being late to an appointment that wasn't due to something that also made the news (major traffic accident, severe inclement weather, etc). Even my doctor's office has a sign that, parapahrased, says something like: If you've waited more than 20 minutes, there's a problem, come up to the desk and we will fix it immediately.

 

Frankly, I hire to have sex without a bunch of interpersonal processing and negotiations. As annoying as it is, I guess I'll start mentioning promptness on my short list of "musts" in my future encounters.

[AaronScottDC]

>I thought I'd update on my decision this situation. I decided

>to not call this guy again. I don't feel it's my

>responsibility to teach him business or personal etiquette.

>Nor was it my responsibility to track him down by phone when

>he was late. I also feel being timely is a sign of respect and

>personal accountability.

 

>Frankly, I hire to have sex without a bunch of interpersonal

>processing and negotiations. As annoying as it is, I guess

>I'll start mentioning promptness on my short list of "musts"

>in my future encounters.

 

Great points! And, I agree, you shouldn't call him again or try to teach him better business etiquette. There are a lot more guys out there to hire and you deserve better. I hope your next encounter goes much smoother!

 

Aaron Scott DC

http://www.erados.com/AaronScottDC

http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/aaronscottdc.html

[Guest alanm]

There's no excuse for neither calling nor saying he was sorry for being late when he finally arrived.

 

I have been thinking (sounds like Sarah Jessica Parker in "Sex and the City") about behavior that we can accept from friends, but not escorts. If this guy treats you like this when you are paying, he

is either very immature or has no respect for you. Move on!

[axebahia]

RE: Beautifully said

 

>Frankly, I hire to have sex without a bunch of interpersonal

>processing and negotiations.

 

Alas, a refreshing view that I relate to entirely. The point at whisch escorting resembles dating is the point at which I lose interest.

 

It always amazes me here that so many other clients almost seem to relish the escort as date negotiation view of the market. As I have said before, I prefer to do my research, ask a few essential questions and then go to it. That strategy has worked well for me for the most part. In some ways to much pre-negotiation and/or prior knowledge can ruin both spontaneity and intensity. The problem is that the more that clients rationalize latenes or engage in intense pre-negotiation, it makes it difficult for the rest of us by encouraging bad habits among escorts.

[alanalt]

RE: Beautifully said

 

>>Frankly, I hire to have sex without a bunch of

>interpersonal

>>processing and negotiations.

>

>Alas, a refreshing view that I relate to entirely. The point

>at whisch escorting resembles dating is the point at which I

>lose interest.

>

>It always amazes me here that so many other clients almost

>seem to relish the escort as date negotiation view of the

>market. As I have said before, I prefer to do my research,

>ask a few essential questions and then go to it. That

>strategy has worked well for me for the most part. In some

>ways to much pre-negotiation and/or prior knowledge can ruin

>both spontaneity and intensity. The problem is that the more

>that clients rationalize latenes or engage in intense

>pre-negotiation, it makes it difficult for the rest of us by

>encouraging bad habits among escorts.

 

Fair Point. However, the flipside is the number of messages I read about how the escort failed to do this or his policy was that and the client is let down because he didn't do some research in the first place. I don't know about anyone else, but I find X hundred dollars is still a lot of money for me, so I'm going to carefully research the potential escort and then give him enough information about me and what I like to ensure a successful encounter. Not too different from your approach, I suspect.

 

However, if someone wants to do more 'intense prenegotiation' I fail to see how that impacts on the rest of us or 'encourages bad habits among escorts' If he's a good escort, he's going to realize that different clients have different expectations and negotiating styles (and require differing levels of 'spontaneity' for that matter, too). However, if an escort doesn't realize that fairly basic factor and hone his communication skills (as well as his bedplay skills) then I don't think it's fair to cast the blame on other clients who have a different way of approaching hiring escorts than you or me...

 

Alan

[axebahia]

RE: Beautifully said

 

>However, if someone wants to do more 'intense prenegotiation'

>I fail to see how that impacts on the rest of us or

>'encourages bad habits among escorts' If he's a good escort,

>he's going to realize that different clients have different

>expectations and negotiating styles (and require differing

>levels of 'spontaneity' for that matter, too).

 

If he is a good escort, you may be right, but my point is that even a good escort can become a lazy escort if given "plausible deniability" by insecure clients who engage in extensive pre-negotiation. In that case, the escort presented with an otherwise reasonable request can decline to perform on the grounds that it was not in the contract.

 

>However, if an

>escort doesn't realize that fairly basic factor and hone his

>communication skills (as well as his bedplay skills) then I

>don't think it's fair to cast the blame on other clients who

>have a different way of approaching hiring escorts than you or

>me...

 

I think economists call this "network externalities". When my use of the telephone or energy grid or the "global commons" adversely affects yours, it does become my right to complain about you. Externalities can be positive or negative. This site provides many positive externalities, but to the extent that it encourages laziness and plausible deniability by escorts it adds a number of negative externalities.

[duke37]

RE: Beautifully said

 

Axe, and I mean this in the gentlest possible terms, how can you complain about insecure clients encouraging poor behaviour in escorts? Haven't you posted on here about basically getting "hustled" for a weekend fee by your semi-retired escort?

 

You have been a pretty solid voice on wanting reliability on client/escort interaction. But perhaps you should lay off the criticism until you have perfected your own "secure" methods of interaction. It sounds like you hate having to negotiate and deal with ambiguities but isn't that uncertainty an unavoidable part of the process?

 

When you get this client/escort thing down to a science let me know,OK? Until then I'm not going to be any more hardnosed than you.

 

Jeff

[axebahia]

RE: Beautifully said

 

>Axe, and I mean this in the gentlest possible terms, how can

>you complain about insecure clients encouraging poor behaviour

>in escorts? Haven't you posted on here about basically getting

>"hustled" for a weekend fee by your semi-retired escort?

 

That's exactly my point. I don't believe that the escorts - in the one or two occasions where my model has failed me - sincerely did not understand the plain meaning of what was on offer and what was required. It is precisely the pre-negotiation and pre-scripting advocates that created the plausible deniability problem for me.

 

Even so, I would not trade all of my good times even with those two escorts in order to have averted one bad time with each. In my view, a good escort does not require a dress rehearsal before the undressed rehearsal. The issue is whether it is better to remove plausible deniability by courtesan/hustlers by client solidarity or by pre-negotiation. My vote is for the former, but I realize that I can't succeed 100% of the time if others choose not to keep up high quality standards on the network!