BIG NIGHT

[Gigiloz4me]

as a being part of a

>special moment.I was thinking something usefull,that he

>might use or something he might put it somewhere in visible

>place to remember ..

 

 

... a Chia Pet would be perfect. Save the rest of your allowance for a good shrink.

}>

[Guest daricous]

I'm hiring an escort after meeting him face to face.its gonna be a big night for me due to first time.my question is I would like to give him a small gift as a being part of a special moment.I was thinking something usefull,that he might use or something he might put it somewhere in visible place to remember ..

What would be appropiate under these circumstences?

daricous.

[Bilbo]

This is a very nice new way of encouraging the guy to keep notches on his bedpost. ;-) But, seriously, it would depend a lot, I would think, on things that you haven't told us. Very subtle things that you might not be able to tell us that you just feel about the guy after talking to him over the phone. Just like picking out a gift for anyone else.

 

Do you have a totem animal? Or one that you collect representations of? Mine is the lion. (My main Reiki spirit guide usually comes to me as a winged lion.) So, it would make a lot of sense for me to give him a small statue of a lion. (Keep it small, in case he either has a very small place, a very Zen mind or you completely miss his personal taste.) Or, if you are being sensible and choosing someone who you could look up to as a mentor on first meeting, perhaps a small painting of a bear? ;-) Or a Daddy and his "son"?

 

Or a book is always there, nestled in among the other books. Not a big cofeetable book. Probably not a paperback since this moment is so meaningful to you yourself. Also, a hardback for a hard on would be a delicious pun. I would think that a novel would be better than a nonfiction, since the situation is fantasy wrapped around truth, just like a novel.

 

I've been playing with you a little, but I do really think that this is a very sweet idea. And a very good part of your personal ceremony.

[guyinsf]

I can understand giving gifts to an escort you've been with before, but on your first paid meeting? This is something someone might do on a first (unpaid) date, though usually the gift at that time is flowers, not a permanent object. I do believe in developing relationships/ friendships with escorts (which has been discussed here numerous times), but I also believe that it's important for a client to remember that while an escort may become a true friend, when you have sex together it is because the client is paying the escort. Your fantasy about the escort having something by which to always remember your first time together sounds overly romantic for a paid encounter.

 

I bring this up because it looks like you are heading into your first appointment with certain expectations which may lead you to be disappointed. I'm sure that this appointment is momentous to you, being your first time with an escort, and you'll likely remember it. You might want to buy yourself something to remember the occasion -- like a cd to play during the session which you can then play later and associate with that time (assuming it turns out well!). I'm not suggesting that escorts are robots and don't have feelings, but I suspect that regardless of who you hire, they have so many "first times" with clients that they are not "big nights" for them the way they are for the clients.

(As an aside, I just had my "second anniversary" with an escort. Even though we've seen each other nearly monthly since then, and we have developed a friendship, it's clear that my "attachment" to him is different than him to me. I certainly have many vivid memories of our first appointment -- I found him so sexy, passionate, nice, and interesting that he definitely stood out compared with all of the other escorts I had hired. He doesn't have amnesia or Alzheimers, but he doesn't remember a lot of details about our first meeting. I think this makes sense: I may have met my "fantasy man" that night, but he didn't meet his. If I were his fantasy man, I wouldn't still be paying him and we'd be having sex more than once per month!)

[Guest dstud4hire]

I think that is a very sweet idea, 1st time with him or not. Whenever I am with a client for more than 2-3 hours, I will sometimes bring a bottle of nice wine for our 'date'.

 

Might I suggest a nice contemporary frame, or perhaps a classy candle....candles always do something for me....perhaps a nice bottle of champagne and chocolate covered strawberies!!! Yum!

[Cooper]

Hey Daricous!

You've come along way baby! Just a few days ago you were asking for info on hooking up with an escort, and now the BIG DAY is coming! I'm happy for you and hope it turns out to be all that you had expected. Please tell all...

 

Some advice on gift giving first...You know that as kind of a jesture this is, it's not necessary. Also, keep in mind that if you continue to see this escort, he might expect a gift from you each time. This could get costly.

 

Now for some gift ideas that I think are practical and worked for me. I like cooking, so on one of my first meetings I cooked the escort a dinner, he loved it and to this day still remembers it...Do you have any hobbies? If so, perhaps you can give him something from a collection (not valuable) but something he'll like and can display...Also, how about a CD of tunes you made and like. Every time he listens to it he'll be "thinking of you"...I don't know what line of work you're in, but perhaps something that represents your job. It could something as simple as a T-shirt with a logo, or a tote bag...Since you want this gift to be something special for the occasion and a gift he'll remember you by, try to consider your interests and likes.

That should make the choice a lot easier.

Again, good luck and I hope something I said might help.

 

"Cooper"

[Rick Munroe]

Just bring him three things: a clean body, a friendly attitude, and a box of Godiva. :9

[Prime Muscle]

You also might want to consider a bottle of cologne -- that way each time he uses it, it will remind him of your visit.

[Boston Guy]

Oh, gosh, I'm with the crowd that's feeling slightly uneasy about this idea.

 

Not because I don't like or approve of giving gifts, for I do. But rather because it seems like at an attempt, perhaps an unconscious one, to turn this encounter into something that it isn't, namely a true date.

 

If you meet this escort and continue to see him on a regular basis, I'd think an occasional small gift would be appropriate -- just as I think it would be appropriate for an escort to give a regular client an occasional small gift. The thought here is very similar to that behind the gifts that businesses give to good customers.

 

On some levels, hiring an escort is wierd, because when we do we're hiring someone to engage in a fantasy with us, one in which we both act as if we have feelings for the other person that we may well not have. This is fun and I think it can be healthy and quite okay so long as everyone remembers the part about it being not quite real. I also believe that some escort/client relationships can morph into true friendships on different levels and while that's a good thing -- friends are good -- it can make things even more complicated.

 

I don't remember the first time I hired an escort. I realized that a minute ago and I'm surprised, for I usually have a good memory for events, times and occasions. But I guess I didn't think of it as an earth-shattering event. And that's what is making me uncomfortable here.

 

If I were the escort you were hiring and you gave me a gift on the first get-together, I'd probably be pleased and I'd definitely at least act thankful. But I think I would also worry that you were in danger of going over the edge of the boundaries that normally govern escort/client relationships.

 

For example, if I meet a new friend and have a date with him, I certainly wouldn't feel bad about calling him to chat a day or two later. But I wouldn't do that with an escort, anymore than I'd call my dentist just to chat. Calling an escort just to chat would seem inappropriate, like I was invading his personal space or expecting him to spend time with me on a non-compensated basis and that's not part of the deal.

 

Most of us have had the experience of meeting someone, maybe dating them, and then having them come on much too strongly, much too soon. Instead of being a turn-on, this kind of behavior is a turn-off. Relationships generally grow slowly and in a natural way.

 

The same is true of a client's relationship with an escort. You may meet this person and never want to see him again after the first time. If so, that's ok. But if you do want to see them again, that's great, go for it. But don't go overboard in your emotional commitment to the escort/client relationship.

 

And now, as I'm writing this, I'm finally realizing what made me feel uncomfortable above when I first read your post (yes, it took me this long to figure it out :-)). It seems like you're becoming so emotionally committed to this experience, preparing for it so much like a big date, that I fear you may be losing perspective about what hiring an escort can or maybe should do for you.

 

One thing I've learned is that, at least for me, hiring escorts should not be allowed to become a substitute for having a "real" life. By that I mean that hiring escorts should not become our only way of meeting new people or a complete substitute for dating or our only outlet for sex. If we allow that to happen, we close off so many avenues in our lives that on balance we lose a great deal.

 

Escorts are great. They can help provide emotional balance, they can definitely help with some good, fun sex, they can even sometimes help us get our heads screwed back on right. But they'll unlikely ever end up being a true boyfriend or, most of the time, even a true friend. So if we hire escorts to the exclusion of other romantic and sexual escapades, we end up making a falsehood of some very important parts of our lives.

 

So don't go overboard here. What you've suggested is a nice idea in theory, but I'd suggest not giving a gift on this occasion. If you have a good time with this guy, give him a tip -- he'll appreciate it more, trust me. Just don't overboard there, either.

 

I hope you have a great time. :-)

 

BG

[Guest Thunderbuns]

I think it's time for a reality check here.

 

It may be the biggest deal ever for the client - but for the escort, it's just one more service call.

 

At a later stage,if the "relationship" blossoms,(and we all know the chances of that are slim) a gift may be in order. But on first meeting, it's rather over the top!

 

Call me jaded - that's how I see it.

 

Thunderbuns

[Bastian]

>I think it's time for a reality check here.

>

>It may be the biggest deal ever for the client - but for the

>escort, it's just one more service call.

 

Why is the implication always that we're absolutely bored and counting seconds? If anything, I'm more alert and empathic when I know it's a client's first time hiring. Part of a great experience comes from reading clients' subtle signals and delivering, or working through the natural nerves (on both sides) that hiring situations create. A ritual gift or set of actions is one way many people quiet themselves for an event.

 

On whether or not an escort views it as important? Who knows, ask the escort. However, in six months time and after 30 or so more first time calls I don't feel it's unreasonable for some details to have become fuzzy.

 

Time to run and duck for cover for invoking this word...have you thought of a Tip, or better, a range of gratuity? That way, if no seas parted and no trumpets blared, you'd still be marking the occasion and be able to convey what you truly felt about the evening. It also has the added benefit of being the perfect gift for an intimate stranger.

 

Good Luck, let us know how it goes!

 

Bastian

[Boink]

When it comes to gifts, here's what I've done in the past - I will prepare a small envelope with a thank you card and maybe a small flat gift (or tip) that will go inside: Lottery tickets, phone cards, movie tix...something fun that almost anyone would use whether or not you know their likes or dislikes.

 

IF the encounter was a good one, and if you want him to remember you a little as seperate from the herd, I present it upon leaving. (If the encounter was less than anticipated I keep it for myself!)

 

PS it's always fun if you have an opportunity to sneak the envelope into his pants pocket unaware, so that he doesn't find it until much later.;-)

[Bilbo]

Another small gift idea that a lot of people, including me and my Cub, seem to collect nowadays is (are?) refrigerator magnets. They are quite expressive if you take the time to choose just the right one, quite inexpensive, and quite handy, too. Or perhaps a cloth shoppping bag with a neat picture on it. (And, no, there aren't refrigerator magnets available on my boutique site.)

[Guest ncm2169]

In this and other posts, experienced clients have cautioned inexperienced clients not to treat escorts as bf's, eg. "Don't call the escort after your meeting just to chat, just as you wouldn't call your dentist just to chat." Why is the "dentist analogy" always used?

 

Is it because both may involve "getting drilled?"

Is it because both may involve "opening wide"?

Is it because both may involve "you may spit now"?

 

OMG don't tell me there's novacain or laughing gas involved! :+

[Boston Guy]

LOL... I plead guilty. I guess it's because my dentist is a professional whose services I value but he is not a personal friend.

 

I can only imagine what Rick Monroe is going to reply with an opening like the one you've given him! :7

 

BG

[Rick Munroe]

>I can only imagine what Rick Monroe is going to reply with

>an opening like the one you've given him! :7

 

Hey, I got my opening from my parents. Thank god for tight genes.

 

As for dentists & escorts...only the dentist makes you wait 3 months for a new appointment if you cancel. (Sorry if that wasn't up to par...I'm worn out from a 3 hour job of constant action...kissing, sucking, licking, fucking...with a protein shake break before hosing each other down with our own protein shakes) (ouch, that was lame too...I'll end now, shower and take a nap).

[BuckyXTC]

>You also might want to consider a bottle of cologne -- that

>way each time he uses it, it will remind him of your visit.

 

I think a little gift upon the first meeting is a nice touch. I usually give a small bottle of my favorite cologne. It serves as a nice icebreaker for the initial moments, and sets a nice tone for the time together.

[Chuck50]

I get more compliments on my Thank you cards or notes with the Tip then anything. It is special I look for the cards in advance from what I have learned about the guy and have gotten more mileage and it is special for me as well as them cause they keep mentioning it to me so I know it makes and impact. Even the guys who I seem to love and repeat with always tell me how special they feel as I have picked out a card which is all about them. Of course I put the money and yes a tip in there as well. So that is just a little something special that adds a touch of class and makes us both remember because I always have fun shopping for the cards in advance. HUGS Chuck:9

[Guest ncm2169]

Hey we all have our "off nights." Let's hope yours was off in the right way and when you've rested you can parley those softballs I threw you...or is the problem that you can't handle softballs? ;-)

 

Mark

[Guest ncm2169]

I meant...can't handle soft balls, not softballs.

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>Another small gift idea that a lot of people, including me

>and my Cub, seem to collect nowadays is (are?) refrigerator

>magnets.

 

Now why do I feel we will never see your home pictured in Architectural Digest?

 

Thunderbuns

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>Time to run and duck for cover for invoking this word...have

>you thought of a Tip, or better, a range of gratuity? That

>way, if no seas parted and no trumpets blared, you'd still

>be marking the occasion and be able to convey what you truly

>felt about the evening. It also has the added benefit of

>being the perfect gift for an intimate stranger.

 

Good God - is this self-serving or what?

 

I have never been considered cheap - but I also don't have shit for brains! A tip? Yea right!

 

Tips are given to waiters, cab drivers who help you with your luggage, and other people performing low paying jobs and therefore rely on a gratuity for their income.

 

If I have just paid an escort $300 for an hour of sex I don't think a tip is in anyway called for! And as another poster has suggested in a post further down - save that money to pay for your shrink - cause baby, you need one real bad.

 

Thunderbuns

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>When it comes to gifts, here's what I've done in the past -

>I will prepare a small envelope with a thank you card and

>maybe a small flat gift (or tip) that will go inside:

>Lottery tickets, phone cards, movie tix...something fun that

>almost anyone would use whether or not you know their likes

>or dislikes.

>

>IF the encounter was a good one, and if you want him to

>remember you a little as seperate from the herd, I present

>it upon leaving. (If the encounter was less than

>anticipated I keep it for myself!)

>

>PS it's always fun if you have an opportunity to sneak the

>envelope into his pants pocket unaware, so that he doesn't

>find it until much later.;-)

 

A fool and his money are soon parted.

 

Thunderbuns

[Boink]

>A fool and his money are soon parted.<

 

Wow. Profound.

[Bilbo]

Actually, some clients do get off on spraying laughing gas on a cloth and inhaling it during the activity.