Starting to have feelings after the encounter.

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Lucky said:

I see nothing to gain by naming the provider. This thread is about @CuriousSub.

Well, unless for some reason the provider doesn't want to be named, it could provide the provider with additional business, and also provide some good hiring ideas from some members. That's called a win-win. Of course, if the OP wishes to keep it private, that's up to him. But if he liked the escort in question, why not give him a boost?

[+ nycman]

Ok, time for the cold hard slap of reality……

He is not in love with you and you are not in love with him.

Baby he rocked  your world for one night. That’s his job.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Enjoy it. Love it. Worship it.…but acknowledge it for what it is. 

A job well done…..nothing more, nothing less.

[CuriousSub]

54 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

Well, unless for some reason the provider doesn't want to be named, it could provide the provider with additional business, and also provide some good hiring ideas from some members. That's called a win-win. Of course, if the OP wishes to keep it private, that's up to him. But if he liked the escort in question, why not give him a boost?

He’s on rentmen. I don’t want to give too much info bc I don’t want him to become aware of this thread and may affect future hiring with me, like I don’t know if certain providers will stop seeing a client if they think the client is getting attached. Being selfish or paranoid here. 
 

Is there a vote function on this forum? If so, I can put up a vote and if majority of members who replied so far think I should share, I will.

[+ WilliamM]

17 minutes ago, CuriousSub said:

He’s on rentmen. I don’t want to give too much info bc I don’t want him to become aware of this thread and may affect future hiring with me, like I don’t know if certain providers will stop seeing a client if they think the client is getting attached. Being selfish or paranoid here. 
 

Is there a vote function on this forum? If so, I can put up a vote and if majority of members who replied so far think I should share, I will.

Excellent response, also one session is enough  to "recommend"  someone, in most cases!

[Guest]

14 hours ago, CuriousSub said:

He’s on rentmen. I don’t want to give too much info bc I don’t want him to become aware of this thread and may affect future hiring with me, like I don’t know if certain providers will stop seeing a client if they think the client is getting attached....

Just out of curiosity from the providers who've viewed this thread: Would you refuse an appointment/hire from a person who'd expressed the sentiments of the OP in this string? Or would you be grateful for the good publicity?

[longtime lurker]

On 3/8/2022 at 10:17 AM, CuriousSub said:

First time hiring an escort yesterday.

 

Besides the initial technical difficulty we almost missed each other, it was great, amazing actually.

I wanted to try some sm stuff and decided to hire someone professional, and he gave me just what I wanted. I was super nervous but he put me at ease right away. There was no orgasm involved and turned into more emotional for me instead of physical: he was hot, hung, tall, and intoxicating.

now I’m finding myself having feelings, and I don’t really know how to deal with it. Logically, I know I shouldn’t text him or have any expectations, but I can’t control that I’m starting to develop feelings, although I’m pretty sure it’s not “love”, I don’t know what it is. 
 

now I’m just rambling and I guess I’m just curious how do people have one night stand do it without getting emotionally attached? If I can’t control myself after just one encounter, I don’t think I should continue and do it again.

 

 

 

On 3/8/2022 at 5:57 PM, CuriousSub said:

Omg thank you guys for all the advices, they are super super helpful. Can’t really reply all of them, but really I just want to say thank you again.

Hopefully this uncomfortable feeling goes away soon as I’m tempted to feed into it, and hopefully age will bring me more wisdom, I say that bc I don’t have a lot of experience with emotions or relationships the first place as a 20 something, prob easily get confused with infatuation and brain chemicals.

It has been ages since I have posted here and I'm not sure if I should even get involved in this discussion, but it is a lively discussion.

OK.

9 in 10 posters here will give you the same basic line of advice:

"Fall in love with The Experience, but not with The Provider".

Write that line down and keep it on the back burner, "logically speaking", so that you don't over-analyze what can't always be analyzed so easily.

Now... I will play the 10th poster and throw you a curve-ball.

Life can be complicated. Human relationships can be complicated. I developed feelings for a masseur who doesn't just do "hands only" work with clients and, over years of contact with him (and I am talking seven years now), we have developed a relationship that has gotten much closer with feelings that have become mutual. Yes, there has been much activity occurring "off working hours". Of course, you can not be the jealous type in this kind of relationship because people must make a living at what they do best in a world where many need special tender loving care. In addition, you yourself may need to help out at times too as you would in ANY kind of relationship, especially during bad times like nationwide pandemics when clients become fewer in number and the rent needs covered. 

Think of "The Provider" in much the same way you would a physical therapist or psychiatrist addressing your needs and improving your life for the better. Sadly, the United States is still a very backward country in accepting all of this as it should be accepted. Then again, just being gay in the United States was considered a "mental disorder" as late as 1973, doing "gay" activities could get you in jail in multiple states as late as 2006 and same gender marriage (as well as so many other relationships of this kind) was strictly out of the question prior to 2015. Since you say you are still in your twenties, two of these events only happened in your own lifetime and, yes, much more progress needs to made. Most of us posting here have had to get over a great many, many family and environmental issues just to address our own needs.

But... pardon me for getting off topic here.

Back to you.

If this fellow put you at ease and allowed you to experience things without judgement, then definitely revisit him again when you physically and financially can. Become a repeat client and view him as a potential friend first and foremost. You have already read some posts here mentioning wonderful friendships that have developed from these experiences and that is something that should never be overlooked.

Don't fuss too much about the feelings part. After all, you only spent ONE visit with him! That is like having a blind date with a perfect stranger whom you know virtually nothing about outside those two hours or so. Maybe on that second visit a.k.a. "date", your feelings will change. Something that happens may change your perspective of him altogether. Again, go up to the line quoted above as a possible rule of thumb. Yet don't overlook what possibilities could happen in the future. Just take one day... and visit... at a time. View your developing emotions and relationships as a good thing and not a bad thing to be afraid of... and remember that there are many kinds to experience in life.

Edited March 10, 2022 by longtime lurker